Application: Maia, Angels Unlimited
A girl who looks almost exactly like Melanie Beeby enters the Sorting room, dressed in a halterneck top in an eyesmarting shade of red and a denim skirt, with red-and-tan wedges. She can get away with it, too, though her skin pales slightly under the vibrant colour.
She surveys the questions in front of her and lifts her (slightly dead) eyes from the parchment. They glitter as she looks around the room, and then she gives a daffy and out-of-place giggle.
She gives her answers verbally, wandering around to poke at the Pensieve, fiddle with the quill, and polish her nails. She never stays in the same spot for too long.
In the low light of the room, the only difference between Maia (pronounced like ‘liar’) and Mel is the livid burn-scar Maia has on her throat.
1) What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
Maia raises her eyebrows as if to say ‘This is the school Little Miss Perfect goes to?’ Still, she answers, a little amused.
’Feta. It’s tart, sharp, and always looks none of those things ‘til you eat it.’
Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
She rolls her eyes. ‘Like I have nothing better to do with my time?’
3) What time is it where you are?
Maia checks her watch, and frowns. It seems to have stopped. She unclasps it, a very faint whiff of sulphur floating free.
’No clue-but I’m guessing I’m on time.’
She doesn’t say for what, just grins-or shows her teeth, at least. It’s not as genuine as it should be.
4) If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Maia nearly asks who, but hell, it’s more fun to just ‘go with the flow’, as Mel taught her. For an angel, she wasn’t so useless.
’Mm. I prefer boys I know.’
Though she didn’t speak to Brice, everyone knew him by sight. He was the big cheese, a senior. Bad-boy walk, sunglasses, ripped Astral Garbage t-shirt…Leela fancied him too, until Little Miss Perfect plucked one of Hell’s star students away.
Rufio seems her best bet now, though he hasn’t been keen on her since she completely flunked her last mission to pulverize Mel. The thought makes her slightly sad, so she shakes her head; dead eyes. Keep answering the questions.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
’Desert Sands,’ she says immediately, remembering that one night in the desert with Leela and Rufio, getting completely wasted before Mel busted them. The Spitting Cobra would have been nice, but she doesn’t want to be reminded that she messed up killing Cleopatra the first time.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Maia wrinkles her nose. ‘Ugh. Couldn’t they find girls?’
She reaches out and plucks at the air; suddenly, a Wizarding photograph of the three is in her hands. Maia looks it over with a smirk, apparently finding the answer.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
’Oh, come on!’ Maia is evidently getting annoyed with this process; she just wants to go and mess with Mel’s head, please. ‘Just do your damn job and let your bosses deal with the red tape.’
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Maia’s face twists into a bitter scowl. ‘Ask me when I’m in a better mood, babe, yeah?’
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Now this she can handle, as long as they don't try to take her iPod. Maia hoists herself up on the table, swinging her legs and looking at her poppy-red nails.
’Ask,’ she finally says, looking up with a tempting smirk, ‘And ye shall receive.’
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Maia________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Whatever. ____Maia_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my drawers in a bunch. ____Maia_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____Maia_________"
Feel free to have your characters--if they know her--mistake Maia for Mel. She won't correct them, and she'll endeavour to be as vile as possible. This is a-oked by Mel-mun, seeing as she is me.