Application: Scar (The Lion King)

May 30, 2007 13:40

A stone room wasn't the ideal place to sun oneself, but Scar hardly noticed the difference. The bottom of Pride Rock, a stone floor, it wasn't all that different, really. Lying sprawled on his back, Scar twisted his head slightly to lazily glance around the room - upside-down in his vision - and blew out a morose sounding sigh, continuing to fan himself with a large leaf.

"Charming," he said dryly, thumping his head back down onto the floor to stare at the ceiling. "What is life without a little random teleportation to brighten up ones day? That's what my father always used to say." A wry smile curved at the corner of the lions mouth. "Not really, of course. He might not have died if he'd actually been so interesting."

Even though he didn't see anybody right away, there was a tension in the air that Scar always knew to be the kind of feeling when you had an audience. He loved audiences.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Cheese is not to my rather particular taste," Scar answered, frowning at the ceiling. He didn't appear at all startled that there was a random voice asking him questions - he answered enough questions in his day-to-day life. "Why anybody would choose to eat the curdled liquid out of beasts is beyond me. It's hell on my digestive system, in any case."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Now here was a question that Scar was interested in. Humming thoughtfully (even though he had no idea who the choices were), he pondered his options, and then affected a look of reproach. "Really, there might be children here, and you go around asking questions like that? For shame."

Abruptly, Scar raised his head off the ground and looked around again, narrowing his eyes as he clearly searched for something. It was apparent that there was nobody around here that he knew, so he changed his answer. "That depends on who would be most beneficial for me to kill."

3. What time is it where you are?

"It's about time that Zazu came around and told me off for one thing or another." Swatting at a dust mote with his fan, Scar twitched his tail in annoyance. "Not that he will find me here. Moronic individual that he is, that bird can't find his way out of his own tail feathers most days."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"Please. Everybody knows you should go for who has the most power. I understand there is a common theme among humans in which they sleep their way to the top." Scar shrugged, as best he could while lying down, sounding a bit mystified. "Personally," he continued drolly, "I find flaw in that plan. Much easier just to kill whoever is in charge and take their position for yourself."

At least he didn't know anybody around here; not having to restrict his answers was quite a nice change. Playing the apparently nice - but a bit weird - Uncle... was tiring.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"Oh, come now," Scar sighed, holding up a paw for inspection, unsheathing his claws and checking them much like a vain woman would do. "I can hardly bartend if I lack opposable thumbs, now, can I? What a silly question. But, should I possess these metaphorical thumbs and decide to metaphorically tend to a metaphorical bar, I would name it Hyena's Den. Not that I'd go there, of course. I am above those cowering, furred vultures, however useful they may be."

B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Carpe diem, marry both of them. It might pose a few... problems if Harry's mate is to inherit anything, say, a position of power." Schooling his expression into blankness, wiping away the sudden shifty-eyed look, Scar waved a paw airily. "But I'm sure they'd be able to decide like reasonable adults. Violence is so immature."

Being that violence was, of course, part of Scar's master plan to take over as King, he was lying. But nobody else needed to know that.

C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Scar sniffed in disdain. "That is because you are a human and you have silly ideas about recording everything. It's much easier to follow good example and record everything through stories passed down by generation."

D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.

"Oh, goodie," the lion rolled his eyes, his voice extremely dry. "Proving worth is so difficult these days. It depends on who you ask. My immediate family would say I am, the... others, the hyenas, would say I am not. It's all a matter of that silly little thing called perception."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.

"I'm sorry, I'm dreadfully boring in the way of bribes. I don't exactly carry anything around with me, you see?" Absentmindedly fishing out a small sharp bone that he'd been keeping in his mane, Scar began to pick his fangs with it, apparently thinking. "I suppose you can have this leaf. It's a bit ratty, but it works, at least. And, oh, you could have this bone, if you like lion spit," he continued, smiling apparently apologetically.

A quick look around confirmed that there really was nothing else that he'd brought with him, and Scar sighed, rolling over so that he could sit up and turn a mostly disinterested stare on the room. He took a moment to run his claws through his mane in a brief second of vanity. "I suppose I can offer... services." Scar looked as if the very word tasted foul on his tongue. "Hunting, ridding the world of pesky lower-food-chain animals. I'd offer the services of the hyenas if they were around."

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______S______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____S______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____S______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______S_______

charles foster ofdensen, sidney reilly, ninth doctor, bun-bun, valentine wolfe, edward tivrusky, lola sanchez, jonathan teatime, application, miles vorkosigan, torn, scar, simba, doug murphy

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