Anthony J. Crowley is going through this farce
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I knew a family in Gomorrah who made an exquisite goat's milk cheese. It was a thing of beauty. Matched perfectly with Babylonian wine. I'd almost be willing to be discorporated to try it again. I probably would be by a certain greedy someone if I did.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Why would I kill them? I invented them.
3. What time is it where you are?
My watch tells the time in 20 world capitals and one place where it's always "Too Late".
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oh, all of them probably. It's kind of what I do. Innuendo... Inciting lust... If I had to pick one? Lupin. Bookish, tweedy, kind, and unassuming on the outside, powerful and enough of a bastard to be worth liking on the inside. He reminds me of someone that I know.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I don't work. However if I owned a bar, it would be called The Ninth Circle. Brush up on your Dante if you don't get it.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
People named George have a history of tyranny, mental imbalance, bad teeth and ecological mismanagement. So, if I were interested in his feelings, I'd say Fred. But it would make me look better to say George.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
One of my better wiles...
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*miracles a case of 1978 Montrachet and passes it around*
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
It's a bit old-fashioned, but I can offer you anything you want for the measly price of your soul.