(no subject)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese huh? I've heard good cheese comes from Happy Cows and Happy Cows come from California. I came up with that one you know. Oh, you should have heard the screams of bloody murder in Wisconsin...
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Easy. Carrottop of course. He's lame and no one pays attention to him anymore. Not one of my better ideas, I'll admit. Barney causes chaos and feelings of deeply seeded unease in adults and he makes little children pee their pants with glee when they see him in person, thus causing their adult parents even more embarrassment and unease. It's a never-ending cycle with that dinosaur. I live off that kind of shit.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time is subjective.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
All of them. At once. And then I'd play them off each other till the whole thing was one gigantic cluster fuck. Man I love cluster fucks...
5. If you are pushing to be in:
I ain't pushing nothin' 'cause s'all useful good.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Gotterdammerung - oh come on! It's obvious! Now, now I wouldn't be the bartender. I'd be the guy sitting up in the balcony area with his big mug-o-mead and laughing at the ensuing chaos that erupts from a bunch of wanna-be goths trying to serve drinks in utter darkness. Also, I would ensure the use of glass in the serving of said drinks. The resulting bloodshed would probably make my blood-brother very happy.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Both, but allow me to explain. Following the logic in #4 it would behoove me to induce Harry into marrying one first, and then playing on the jealousy of the other so the whole thing turns into a love-triangle worthy of daytime television. I would also be sure to include various others in the plot, such as Ron and Hermione. For shits and giggles, let's throw in the twins' little sister, a of long lost sibling or two, and a couple of pregnancies. Mix ingredients together thoroughly, let simmer for one or two days, and enjoy. Hey, it worked for the Greeks...
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Oops. My bad.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Look. I can turn into just about anything under the sun and offer riches, boobs, and gold to the highest bidder. That ain't useless kiddos. Actually, now that I think about it, this might not be such a bad house. You know what they say about the quiet, hard working ones, right...? I would totally not attempt to rally the troops and take over the rest of the school in a violent, messy, chaotic blood bath just to practice for Ragnarok. Nope.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Boobs. Who doesn't like boobs? Failing that, I can do just about anything. You want gold, glory and fame? I got it. I gave you people Harry God Damned Potter. What fandom is better - or more chaotic - than that? Do I even get a thank you? Sheesh.
Cheese huh? I've heard good cheese comes from Happy Cows and Happy Cows come from California. I came up with that one you know. Oh, you should have heard the screams of bloody murder in Wisconsin...
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Easy. Carrottop of course. He's lame and no one pays attention to him anymore. Not one of my better ideas, I'll admit. Barney causes chaos and feelings of deeply seeded unease in adults and he makes little children pee their pants with glee when they see him in person, thus causing their adult parents even more embarrassment and unease. It's a never-ending cycle with that dinosaur. I live off that kind of shit.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time is subjective.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
All of them. At once. And then I'd play them off each other till the whole thing was one gigantic cluster fuck. Man I love cluster fucks...
5. If you are pushing to be in:
I ain't pushing nothin' 'cause s'all useful good.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Gotterdammerung - oh come on! It's obvious! Now, now I wouldn't be the bartender. I'd be the guy sitting up in the balcony area with his big mug-o-mead and laughing at the ensuing chaos that erupts from a bunch of wanna-be goths trying to serve drinks in utter darkness. Also, I would ensure the use of glass in the serving of said drinks. The resulting bloodshed would probably make my blood-brother very happy.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Both, but allow me to explain. Following the logic in #4 it would behoove me to induce Harry into marrying one first, and then playing on the jealousy of the other so the whole thing turns into a love-triangle worthy of daytime television. I would also be sure to include various others in the plot, such as Ron and Hermione. For shits and giggles, let's throw in the twins' little sister, a of long lost sibling or two, and a couple of pregnancies. Mix ingredients together thoroughly, let simmer for one or two days, and enjoy. Hey, it worked for the Greeks...
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Oops. My bad.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Look. I can turn into just about anything under the sun and offer riches, boobs, and gold to the highest bidder. That ain't useless kiddos. Actually, now that I think about it, this might not be such a bad house. You know what they say about the quiet, hard working ones, right...? I would totally not attempt to rally the troops and take over the rest of the school in a violent, messy, chaotic blood bath just to practice for Ragnarok. Nope.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Boobs. Who doesn't like boobs? Failing that, I can do just about anything. You want gold, glory and fame? I got it. I gave you people Harry God Damned Potter. What fandom is better - or more chaotic - than that? Do I even get a thank you? Sheesh.