Razakel, OC squibbait
A thin elderly man stood in the center of the sorting room, a smirk apparent on his features. He was finely dressed in an aristocratic fashion, black and gold. In one hand he held a black wooden staff, and at his belt hung a horned skeletal mask.
“Hello there!” he called pleasantly. “I was in the neighborhood and I noticed a magical aura coming from this place. Well, when you notice another Scottish castle with a magical aura, you have to investigate, correct?”
The figure bowed. “I suppose you can call me Razakel.”
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
“Van Otlu Peyniri. It’s a Turkish cheese that I often have in my estate in Constantinople. Wait, they call it Istanbul now, don’t they?”
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
“I would only kill one of them if it would benefit me. Of course, killing Barney might be more entertaining. Traumatizing people is a hobby of mine.
Razakel chuckled.
“If you ask, I’ll tell you what I did to this one “friend” of mine; it was really quite heinous…”
3. What time is it where you are?
“Late. It’s immaterial, really.”
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
“Ah, back from the dead. I have some experience from that. I’ve experienced death many times in my long…career. Once, while under the name of Grigori Rasputin, I was poisoned, stabbed, clubbed, shot, mutilated, and then drowned. Nasty business, really, but every death teaches you something new. The main bother is growing another body.”
“Bringing other people back to life is the really troubling thing. Last time, I had to use the services of a Voudun Mambo to bolster my own abilities. Bringing back the newly dead is easy. After a few years, it gets more difficult.”
“I’m sorry, am I rambling?”
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
“The Tree and Tower.”
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
“Marriage? How quaint. In the end, it matters little. When Asmodeus rises, all will end regardless. There are no happy endings. Deluding yourself otherwise is foolish.”
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
“Paperwork merely complicates things. I recommend committing everything to memory. There’s less of a paper trail that way.”
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
“I am the chief servant of Asmodeus, his herald. I am the harbinger of darkness.”
Razakel paused for a moment and winked roguishly.
“Plus, I’m actually quite a good cook.”
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
“I can give you the power you need to get revenge on your enemies. There is a price, of course, but such is the way of power.”
He shrugged.
“If you prefer your bribes to be more physical, I could offer you some antique tarot cards or perhaps a chocolate truffle.”
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____R_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____R______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______R_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____R________"
“Hello there!” he called pleasantly. “I was in the neighborhood and I noticed a magical aura coming from this place. Well, when you notice another Scottish castle with a magical aura, you have to investigate, correct?”
The figure bowed. “I suppose you can call me Razakel.”
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
“Van Otlu Peyniri. It’s a Turkish cheese that I often have in my estate in Constantinople. Wait, they call it Istanbul now, don’t they?”
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
“I would only kill one of them if it would benefit me. Of course, killing Barney might be more entertaining. Traumatizing people is a hobby of mine.
Razakel chuckled.
“If you ask, I’ll tell you what I did to this one “friend” of mine; it was really quite heinous…”
3. What time is it where you are?
“Late. It’s immaterial, really.”
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
“Ah, back from the dead. I have some experience from that. I’ve experienced death many times in my long…career. Once, while under the name of Grigori Rasputin, I was poisoned, stabbed, clubbed, shot, mutilated, and then drowned. Nasty business, really, but every death teaches you something new. The main bother is growing another body.”
“Bringing other people back to life is the really troubling thing. Last time, I had to use the services of a Voudun Mambo to bolster my own abilities. Bringing back the newly dead is easy. After a few years, it gets more difficult.”
“I’m sorry, am I rambling?”
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
“The Tree and Tower.”
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
“Marriage? How quaint. In the end, it matters little. When Asmodeus rises, all will end regardless. There are no happy endings. Deluding yourself otherwise is foolish.”
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
“Paperwork merely complicates things. I recommend committing everything to memory. There’s less of a paper trail that way.”
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
“I am the chief servant of Asmodeus, his herald. I am the harbinger of darkness.”
Razakel paused for a moment and winked roguishly.
“Plus, I’m actually quite a good cook.”
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
“I can give you the power you need to get revenge on your enemies. There is a price, of course, but such is the way of power.”
He shrugged.
“If you prefer your bribes to be more physical, I could offer you some antique tarot cards or perhaps a chocolate truffle.”
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____R_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____R______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______R_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____R________"