Application for Freakazoid/Dexter Douglas, from Freakazoid!
FWOOOOOOOSH
A blue-skinned teenager with a wild head of hair, wearing what vaguely looks like a set of red long underwear, flies into the Great Hall! Except... wait... no, no, he's not actually flying. He's just running around with both arms stretched out above his head, making FWOOOOSH noises under his breath, like a little kid pretending to fly. Weirdo.
Suddenly, a disembodied voice booms out over the great hall. "Attention: For your inconvenience, this application will be presented in Scream-O-Vision."
The young man screeches to a halt in front of the application form and grins. "Neato!"
What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Gorgonzola. The only cheese with a name that you can yodel! Gor-gon-ZOoO~laaa~~~! ... Hey, it is a cheese, right? With a name like that, it sounds like it'd be some kind of antique Italian pipe organ. Dexter likes Mozzarella, but that's just 'cause he has a thing for leftover pizza. That reminds me, wanna learn some French?"
Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Whoa. WHOAwhoawhoawhoawhoa. Killing? That's a big no-no. Nuh-uh. Don't do it. No way. That's a supervillain thing, and even then, they don't get to do it because I stop them before they get a chance! Hah!" His triumphant look is quickly replaced by a wicked grin. "Cartoon violence on the other hand; THAT I'm ok with! Comes with the territory, y'know."
What time is it where you are?
"It isssssss...." He pulls back one of his gloves and squints at his watch. "... Huh. 11:35. Almost time for lu--
SCREAM.
A group of nearby house elves shriek in mortal terror, while Freakazoid slaps a hand to his forehead and drags it down over his face, looking exasperated.
If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"That's not a very superhero-y thing to do, y'know. That said, if I didn't already have a girlfriend, Tonks is pretty cute. Whoa, mama!"
If you are pushing to be in
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Well, usually I like sticking 'Freaka' on everything as a prefix - there's the Freakalair, the Freakmobile, and for a short while, there was Foamy the Freakadog… man, I miss that adorable li'l fuzzball. Anyway! A name like The Freakabar probably wouldn't haul in the customers, sooo… I'd call it Freak Out! It'd give us an excuse to have annual disco nights - not that you need an excuse. Steff can be the waitress, Cosgrove could handle the security, and I'll be the sarcastic yet endearing bartender who exchanges witty over-the-counter banter with the customers! Like Cheers, but without the ratings!"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Well..." Freakazoid takes a deep breath, and is suddenly wearing a lab coat, a fake beard, and a pair of fake Groucho Marx glasses, complete with a plastic nose and mustache. He strides over to stand next to a chalkboard that a few house elves roll in, and snaps a pointer at the title written on the board, which is "Fred VS George: An Academic Analysis"
SCREAM.
The house elves scream in terror, right on cue.
"KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!!"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Hooboy. This sounds like it's more up Dexter's alley. One sec. Freak... IN!"
One blinding flash of light later, a skinny, geeky-looking teenage boy is reeling in the spot where Freakazoid previously stood. Once he stops feeling dizzy, he looks around the hall, obviously confused.
"... Wha? Wh-what's going on?" Glancing down, he sees the application form and grins. "Oh yeah! The application! Hmm..." Ponder, ponder, ponder. Aha! "Heh. You sound like a normal high school student. Just try getting as much of it done as you can, and see if you can get a couple of assignments done ahead of time. That'll free you up a little bit."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Dexter looks a bit insulted by this question. "Hey! I'm not useless! … I'm really good at computer programming, and… I get good grades, especially in math, and I put up with Duncan every day, so that has to say something for my endurance, and… um…" Dexter trails off and gulps. He's never been good at public speaking. "Oh, what the heck. FREAK OUT!" Another flash of light, and he's back to being Freakazoid.
While Dexter was mildly insulted by the question, Freakazoid seems to have taken it personally. "Useless? ME?! USELESS!! Oh-HO, I think NOT! Would a useless guy have saved dozens of campers from a spooky boogeyman guy whose name I won't mention? Or... or stopped a nuclear missile from blowing up the White House? Or rescued a high school dance from Cave Guy, even when half the girls there were nasty and rude to his mild-mannered alter ego? Or gone into the sewer after Cobra Queen even though it stunk of poo-gas? Or hugged Norm Abram? I'm a superhero! I save the world on a regular basis, SHEESH!"
He finally stops ranting to catch his breath and sniffles a bit, tearing up. "Y-you made water come out my eyes!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know! My mute butler Ingmar taped every single episode of HeroBoy for me before he switched careers and became a rodeo clown! He's mute, y'know. Every last one, even the Christmas special that they only aired at three in the morning on the last night of Hanukah two years ago! Orrr... if that's not up your alley, I've got tickets to the Great Hall of Spackle, and I guess I could take you for a ride in the Freakmobile. Just so long as you don't get creepy on me like Fanboy. Keep in mind that it DOES have an ejection seat, and I'm not afraid to use it!!
Plus, Dex can probably help you out with any computer problems you're having. He's smart like that."
SCREAM.
"I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!!"
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____F!_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____F!_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____F!____.
One day, marmalade and weiner dogs will rule the world. _____F!______"
((I'm probably going to have to head off in about an hour or so, but I couldn't resist posting. The power of crack compels me!))
A blue-skinned teenager with a wild head of hair, wearing what vaguely looks like a set of red long underwear, flies into the Great Hall! Except... wait... no, no, he's not actually flying. He's just running around with both arms stretched out above his head, making FWOOOOSH noises under his breath, like a little kid pretending to fly. Weirdo.
Suddenly, a disembodied voice booms out over the great hall. "Attention: For your inconvenience, this application will be presented in Scream-O-Vision."
The young man screeches to a halt in front of the application form and grins. "Neato!"
What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Gorgonzola. The only cheese with a name that you can yodel! Gor-gon-ZOoO~laaa~~~! ... Hey, it is a cheese, right? With a name like that, it sounds like it'd be some kind of antique Italian pipe organ. Dexter likes Mozzarella, but that's just 'cause he has a thing for leftover pizza. That reminds me, wanna learn some French?"
Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Whoa. WHOAwhoawhoawhoawhoa. Killing? That's a big no-no. Nuh-uh. Don't do it. No way. That's a supervillain thing, and even then, they don't get to do it because I stop them before they get a chance! Hah!" His triumphant look is quickly replaced by a wicked grin. "Cartoon violence on the other hand; THAT I'm ok with! Comes with the territory, y'know."
What time is it where you are?
"It isssssss...." He pulls back one of his gloves and squints at his watch. "... Huh. 11:35. Almost time for lu--
SCREAM.
A group of nearby house elves shriek in mortal terror, while Freakazoid slaps a hand to his forehead and drags it down over his face, looking exasperated.
If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"That's not a very superhero-y thing to do, y'know. That said, if I didn't already have a girlfriend, Tonks is pretty cute. Whoa, mama!"
If you are pushing to be in
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Well, usually I like sticking 'Freaka' on everything as a prefix - there's the Freakalair, the Freakmobile, and for a short while, there was Foamy the Freakadog… man, I miss that adorable li'l fuzzball. Anyway! A name like The Freakabar probably wouldn't haul in the customers, sooo… I'd call it Freak Out! It'd give us an excuse to have annual disco nights - not that you need an excuse. Steff can be the waitress, Cosgrove could handle the security, and I'll be the sarcastic yet endearing bartender who exchanges witty over-the-counter banter with the customers! Like Cheers, but without the ratings!"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Well..." Freakazoid takes a deep breath, and is suddenly wearing a lab coat, a fake beard, and a pair of fake Groucho Marx glasses, complete with a plastic nose and mustache. He strides over to stand next to a chalkboard that a few house elves roll in, and snaps a pointer at the title written on the board, which is "Fred VS George: An Academic Analysis"
SCREAM.
The house elves scream in terror, right on cue.
"KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!!"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Hooboy. This sounds like it's more up Dexter's alley. One sec. Freak... IN!"
One blinding flash of light later, a skinny, geeky-looking teenage boy is reeling in the spot where Freakazoid previously stood. Once he stops feeling dizzy, he looks around the hall, obviously confused.
"... Wha? Wh-what's going on?" Glancing down, he sees the application form and grins. "Oh yeah! The application! Hmm..." Ponder, ponder, ponder. Aha! "Heh. You sound like a normal high school student. Just try getting as much of it done as you can, and see if you can get a couple of assignments done ahead of time. That'll free you up a little bit."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Dexter looks a bit insulted by this question. "Hey! I'm not useless! … I'm really good at computer programming, and… I get good grades, especially in math, and I put up with Duncan every day, so that has to say something for my endurance, and… um…" Dexter trails off and gulps. He's never been good at public speaking. "Oh, what the heck. FREAK OUT!" Another flash of light, and he's back to being Freakazoid.
While Dexter was mildly insulted by the question, Freakazoid seems to have taken it personally. "Useless? ME?! USELESS!! Oh-HO, I think NOT! Would a useless guy have saved dozens of campers from a spooky boogeyman guy whose name I won't mention? Or... or stopped a nuclear missile from blowing up the White House? Or rescued a high school dance from Cave Guy, even when half the girls there were nasty and rude to his mild-mannered alter ego? Or gone into the sewer after Cobra Queen even though it stunk of poo-gas? Or hugged Norm Abram? I'm a superhero! I save the world on a regular basis, SHEESH!"
He finally stops ranting to catch his breath and sniffles a bit, tearing up. "Y-you made water come out my eyes!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know! My mute butler Ingmar taped every single episode of HeroBoy for me before he switched careers and became a rodeo clown! He's mute, y'know. Every last one, even the Christmas special that they only aired at three in the morning on the last night of Hanukah two years ago! Orrr... if that's not up your alley, I've got tickets to the Great Hall of Spackle, and I guess I could take you for a ride in the Freakmobile. Just so long as you don't get creepy on me like Fanboy. Keep in mind that it DOES have an ejection seat, and I'm not afraid to use it!!
Plus, Dex can probably help you out with any computer problems you're having. He's smart like that."
SCREAM.
"I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!!"
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____F!_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____F!_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____F!____.
One day, marmalade and weiner dogs will rule the world. _____F!______"
((I'm probably going to have to head off in about an hour or so, but I couldn't resist posting. The power of crack compels me!))