Writing neurosis; attention meta (not: attention! Meta! *g*)

[hmpf]

So, whenever I've posted new fic to my website and announced it in LJ, I tend to check my website stats the next day or so, because I do want to know about the people who read my stuff. Not writing *for* an audience does *not* equal not being curious about the audience you do acquire - and it's simply a fact that if I put something online, it will

Comments

[_inbetween_]

When a story reached 3.000 seperate hits and still only had seven comments, I stopped checking any sort of tracker. It's never worth it.

Well, for one thing,

[hmpf]

it's the only way to find out about recs. I would never have noticed I'd been recced on crack_van - twice! - if I hadn't looked at my stats. *g* So, overall, looking at the stats tends to make me feel good, really. The chances of finding accidental egoboo that way are much greater than those of finding something negative (though I've had that, too - I've been singled out as an example of a person with a particularly sad life one some forum. *g*)

I don't think anything I've written ever got 3000 hits with hardly a comment though. Actually, I don't think anything of mine ever got that many hits (well okay, probably cumulatively over a space of several years, yes, but certainly not in such a short space of time that the stats would show it).

May I ask what brings you to my LJ, btw? It's not that I mind, it's a public journal after all, I'm just curious. :-)

Re: Well, for one thing,

[_inbetween_]

*nods* but I never braved such searches either; I know there's an easy LJ function to search for appearances of your username as well though.

That one example must have been recced, somewhere a lot of people still see it - and since it got the single comment from someone who never comments to me I can guess, but don't want to know. Other posts had a similar ratio, and current opinion says that the former 1:100 ratio of comments to views has worsened (except for the few exceptions).

Flistflist - thought we'd spoken before but maybe not :) I sometimes comment when I think I have something to say.

Re: Well, for one thing,

[hmpf]

>I know there's an easy LJ function to search for appearances of your username as well though

[space_oddity_75]

First of all, please let me offer you some Sam!Neckporn (because I can!), which I'm sure you'll appreciate. ;)

I think I've always always commented on your fics one way or the other, especially because you're one of my favourite authors and I love the fantastic choice of words you always make. Anyway, the times you don't find a comment by yours truly in your LJ is just because I'm also a lazy bastard who hardly ever updates her own journal (not a single entry this month... being in a foul mood doesn't help my social relationships either). Am I forgiven? *bats eyelashes*

Mmmmmmmmneckporn!

[hmpf]

Nothing to forgive! I'm not trying to guilt trip people here, honest. And yikes, I don't expect everyone to reply to everything I post; that would be insane! I don't reply to every post on my flist, either, not even on the short, select list of people I'm already up to date with! The day only has so many hours...

The story I was whining about (sort of) here was from a different fandom, anyway. *g* I probably have greater 'attention issues' in that fandom (Highlander) than I have in LoM, really, because it was my very first fandom and while I have long since understood my social position in it and - more importantly - its reasons, the fandom and the issues it caused me *did* shape me to a not insignificant degree. It's kinda hard to leave that kind of thing behind entirely.

[melagan]

I wandered in from _inbetween_'s and found your post very interesting. My own day is busy in spurts and I will quite often bookmark stories for a later read.
It doesn't mean I enjoy them any less, quite the opposite in fact.

Delayed reading

[hmpf]

Yeah, I do that, too. And in fact I am currently going through the memories of the community lifein1973, reading everything that strikes my fancy, because I've been neglecting that fandom for nearly a year. So, I'm no stranger to delayed reading. I also sometimes just take a couple of days to think about a comment I want to make, if I want to leave more than a random squeeing noise. *g*

There's a reason I attribute my worry about people-reading-yet-not-commenting to my neurosis. I'm fully aware that there are three million reason why a person may not comment on a story immediately even though they may consider the story worthy. :-)

But there is an irrational part to my personality that, well... worries. Sometimes. I actually think my writer's ego is fairly healthy - for example, I haven't considered for even a moment that the story just may actually *be* crap. I'm completely convinced that it's really good and that *if* someone doesn't like it it's more due to different tastes than to a lack of quality. But, even so... ;-)

[tgifa]

Ok, I feel bad for reading 68 Wives and not saying anything.

I tend to read the fics you post here but never ever comment on them, mostly because I don't know the series and feel kinda unqualified to give any proper review.

Atlas was probably the only one where I at least watched a small part of the series, and I should have dropped you a line because I was really impressed when I read it.

Though I could probably say that about any of your fics; I'm always impressed of how you always manage to say so much with so few words. And even though (or because) your fics are all very short, there's an incredible depth to them which leaves me in awe, and I definitely like your style.

About 68 Wives I cannot say much, I don't think that I can understand what it really is about (I've never watched Highlander). But I what I can say is that I like the concept and how it is set up, the counting down and how everything is coming full circle in the end

Well, for the record:

[hmpf]

I'm kind of surprised you even read my fic, because we don't share so many active fandoms. I don't really read much fic outside my fandoms and always kind of assume other people don't either (and I'm fine with that). So, I'm flattered you do read mine! And even more flattered to hear you like it. :-)

[jinxed_wood]

To be honest, I'm a bit shocked you didn't get more feedback as I thought it was a lovely story. Did you crosspost it to highlander_fic, etc?

It seems to me, a lot of how one's story is received depends on silly things like the time of the week it's posted, and the politics of the actual fandom (although Highlander isn't the worst for this). All I can say is keep plugging away :-)

I got a decent amount of feedback, really.

[hmpf]

Something like just under 20 comments, I think. That's pretty good for a total of just under 100 hits! So, overall I'm really quite happy with that. I'm just 'angsting' about some specific people here, really. Basically, people who I know have reacted very positively to similar fic in the past etc, so I was kind of expecting this would be up their alley. And, you know how it is (maybe?) - you always look for the reason of a 'mysterious' silence in yourself first (or, in this case, in your fic), even though it's probably just due to some completely random external factor.

Re: I got a decent amount of feedback, really.

[highlanderer]

20 comments for 100 viewers is very high, particularly for the state of Highlander today. Much higher than anything I've posted for years, I think.

But I obsess over who individually comments, as well; at times I'm concerned when specific people I respect ignore a story that I thought would be to their taste (or even, once, ignored by someone who asked for a story and then ignored the result). Can't say anything reasonable except that yes, I sympathize.

Re: I got a decent amount of feedback, really.

[hmpf]

>20 comments for 100 viewers is very high

Yeah, I thought so. As I said - not complaining about the amount of feedback here! :-)