Happy Holidays, Ryenna/merriman!
Title: Typical
Author: The Holly AND the Ivy aka bittersweet325
Written for: merriman
Characters: Methos, Duncan, Bernard, Manny and Fran (from Black Books)
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,600
Author's Notes: I hesitate to call it crack, but it's certainly a bit silly and mostly harmless. Written for merriman, who mentioned Black Books, Quentin MacLeod and Methos. Hope you enjoy!
Summary: Crossover with Black Books: Duncan has taken a trip to Great Britain in search of another MacLeod. Methos is along and not to happy about it. Methos tries to talk some sense into Duncan while visiting a quirky book shop.
Typical
"I thought you were over this complex, MacLeod." Methos shoved his hands in his coat pockets, fighting a losing battle with the freezing London air. "You can't save everybody, not even every Immortal."
A great many things went unsaid. Methos would like very much to remind Duncan about Richie, about what happened to young Immortals that Duncan decided to save. Methos had hoped at the very least that any memories the Highlander might have inherited from Connor after that disaster might have sunk in.
"This is different. I'm not taking some kid in off the street. I just want to meet him. You have to admit that it's rare to have so many Immortals taken in by the same clan." Duncan argued.
It was the emergence of another MacLeod that had caused all the trouble in the first place. Methos had stopped over in Paris on his way to Italy, longing for warm beaches and sunsets that lasted longer than they seemed to anywhere else in the world. He'd only planned to say a quick hello to Duncan, an apology of sorts for keeping only sporadic contact in recent years. He cared about Duncan dearly, but the longer Methos lingered near him, the more dangerous it became to be sure of his own safety.
A quick hello had been complicated within the first half an hour. Duncan was in the midst of packing, heading to Scotland. Methos had assumed it would be for a stroll down memory lane or to put right some great wrong Duncan was certain had been his fault a century or so ago, but instead it seemed the Watchers, or more to the point Joe, had let it slip to Duncan that there was another MacLeod. And Duncan still had a big gaping whole left in his heart where Connor had once been.
"Unlikely, yes. Impossible, hardly. It should be coincidental that so many Immortals and Pre-Immortals were spending so much time in Seacouver, but it happened." Methos sighed. "Just because someone has the same last name as you doesn't mean a thing."
"Oh yeah? And what about me and Connor. If Connor hadn't taken me under his wing..."
"You really think that only had to do with the fact that you were from the same clan?" Methos interrupted him. "Connor was one of the most well hidden Immortals I ever heard tell about and you can count his students on one hand. Your name was the least of his interest."
"Then please, enlighten me. Why would he take me in if not because of that connection?"
"That silly little prophecy for a start." Methos pointed out. "He spent a great deal of time with Cassandra back in those days. It's one of the reasons why our paths crossed so rarely especially before I joined up with the Watchers. We've always told you that you were important, Duncan. Did you think we only realized that in the mid-to-late 90s?" He laughed at how naïve Duncan could be.
"Whatever you say, Methos." Duncan scoffed. "But I'm not Connor and I do still believe in the Clan MacLeod."
"Of course you do." Methos muttered. "And what's the kid's name again?"
"Quentin...Quentin MacLeod. The file said he had recently returned to Scotland."
"Perhaps he's playing the martyr. That would certainly be a family trait."
"No one asked you to come." Duncan remarked. He'd spent the entire trip to London hearing all of Methos's objections to the trip.
"Likewise." Methos laughed.
"And you didn't have to leave the hotel this afternoon if all you were going to do is complain."
"Yes, well, if I'm going to be in London and if I'm going to be stuck with only you for company all the way up to Scotland, I'd like some reading material and there just happens to be a shop not too far from here."
"I should have known it would have something to do with books." It was Duncan's turn to laugh this time. "I"d have thought you'd have just about everything ever published by now."
"You don't read classics on a trip, MacLeod. Honestly, sometimes I forget that your people were still savages when I was an old man."
"Ah, yes, here it comes. Please, feel free to tell me all about how much older and wiser you are than everyone else."
"With pleasure." Methos stopped walking. "Except that we're here."
"Black Books." Duncan read the sign.
"What were you expecting? Borders? Barnes and Nobles?" He opened the door and walked inside.
The place was virtually deserted. There wasn't a single staff member or patron walking around inside. Most of the books were piled up on tables with a few shelves here and there that seemed a feeble attempt to maximize space. There wasn't much in the way of a checkout counter. An old desk of sorts was the closest thing there was to a counter of any kind.
"Are you sure they're opened?"
"The door was unlocked." Methos said beginning to rifle through a table. "The door was unlocked." He glanced at the door. "The open side of that sign is facing out. It really is a miracle that you've managed to stay alive for so long."
"Same to you." Duncan shook his head, exasperated.
"Bernard, Bernard! I really don't think we should leave the front unmonitored. What if customers come in?"
"Manny, honestly I left some spare change on the desk. If someone comes in they'll simply pay for their book and make change." Bernard lit a cigarette. "I saw it in a film once."
The two men stepped out from the back room into the shop. Bernard looked around the store. Methos and Duncan glanced over at them, but otherwise said nothing.
"See, nothing stolen yet." Bernard slumped down in the chair behind the desk. Manny frowned.
"You said that last time you did this, then we did inventory at the beginning of the month and we were short seven copies of the Da Vinci Code. Seven copies don't just walk out the door unless the door is left open when no one is looking."
"I'll buy you a pint if anything is missing this time." Bernard shrugged, puffing on his cigarette.
"You said that last time too. You didn't and instead you docked my pay for the lost merchandise."
"Ah, well, you really need to pay more attention to the place. It is what I pay you for. No one was twisting your arm to help me."
"You were twisting my arm! You threatened to sack me." Manny frowned sitting down in the other empty chair besides the desk.
"I'm guessing neither of them are going to ask us if we need any help." Duncan said under his breath.
"Now, isn't this better than Barnes and Noble? I'm telling you, local shops are always so...colorful."
"Didn't realize you enjoyed color quite so much. I took you more for the ordering over the Internet kind of guy."
"You're just impressed by my ability to adapt to technological changes whereas you still can't work a fax machine."
"Oi!" Bernard shouted to the pair. "Would you mind settling something for the two of us?"
"Um...sure." Duncan replied.
"Did you steal anything while we were in the back?"
"No, I'm afraid we didn't get the chance." Methos didn't look up from the table of books.
"See, no harm." Bernard put out his cigarette and lit another.
"Money's all here too." Manny had almost hoped something would be missing to teach Bernard a lesson. "I still say it was quite the risk."
"What can I say? I live on the edge." Bernard glanced around the shop. "Where's Fran? She's usually here whining by now."
"Are you almost done?" Duncan asked growing impatient.
"What exactly is your hurry? We aren't leaving until tomorrow. Are you really that eager to go back out there? In case, you didn't notice it's freezing out." Methos glanced over at Bernard and Manny. "Besides this is far more entertaining."
"I thought you were a firm believer in staying out of other people's affairs."
"Other Immortals, yes, but what's the worst that could happen? A verbal lashing from that man who I'm assuming is the owner." Methos picked up a book. "But as it turns out I think I'm just about done."
"Thank God."
"God has nothing to do with it, MacLeod." They walked over to the desk paying for Methos's book. Bernard barely glanced up at them and he certainly didn't both to extinguish his cigarette.
"So tell me more about this kid we're going to see." Methos asked as they walked to the door. A woman brushed past them on the way in.
"Bernard! Bernard! I have huge news!" Fran said hurrying into the shop.
"Oh, thank heavens you're here." Bernard rolled his eyes. "What was I just saying, Manny? Something about whining..."
"So what's the big news?" Manny interjected
"I have a date!"
"That's not big news. Big news is curing world hunger."
"Oh, c'mon, Bernard." Manny said optimistic as ever. "It has to be more interesting than watching boring customers thumb through books."
"Weren't you the one insisting we sit out here and watch those two guys like hawks. And for what? They barely spent any money and their very presence was boring me to tears."
"You run a book shop." Fran pointed out. "What sort of days were you expecting? Ones filled with fights to the death and good versus evil."
Three blocks away, a freak lightening storm seemed to brew up out of nowhere and Bernard's two customers hurried away from a potential crime scene, a decapitated body and forgotten book left in their wake.
END
Author: The Holly AND the Ivy aka bittersweet325
Written for: merriman
Characters: Methos, Duncan, Bernard, Manny and Fran (from Black Books)
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1,600
Author's Notes: I hesitate to call it crack, but it's certainly a bit silly and mostly harmless. Written for merriman, who mentioned Black Books, Quentin MacLeod and Methos. Hope you enjoy!
Summary: Crossover with Black Books: Duncan has taken a trip to Great Britain in search of another MacLeod. Methos is along and not to happy about it. Methos tries to talk some sense into Duncan while visiting a quirky book shop.
Typical
"I thought you were over this complex, MacLeod." Methos shoved his hands in his coat pockets, fighting a losing battle with the freezing London air. "You can't save everybody, not even every Immortal."
A great many things went unsaid. Methos would like very much to remind Duncan about Richie, about what happened to young Immortals that Duncan decided to save. Methos had hoped at the very least that any memories the Highlander might have inherited from Connor after that disaster might have sunk in.
"This is different. I'm not taking some kid in off the street. I just want to meet him. You have to admit that it's rare to have so many Immortals taken in by the same clan." Duncan argued.
It was the emergence of another MacLeod that had caused all the trouble in the first place. Methos had stopped over in Paris on his way to Italy, longing for warm beaches and sunsets that lasted longer than they seemed to anywhere else in the world. He'd only planned to say a quick hello to Duncan, an apology of sorts for keeping only sporadic contact in recent years. He cared about Duncan dearly, but the longer Methos lingered near him, the more dangerous it became to be sure of his own safety.
A quick hello had been complicated within the first half an hour. Duncan was in the midst of packing, heading to Scotland. Methos had assumed it would be for a stroll down memory lane or to put right some great wrong Duncan was certain had been his fault a century or so ago, but instead it seemed the Watchers, or more to the point Joe, had let it slip to Duncan that there was another MacLeod. And Duncan still had a big gaping whole left in his heart where Connor had once been.
"Unlikely, yes. Impossible, hardly. It should be coincidental that so many Immortals and Pre-Immortals were spending so much time in Seacouver, but it happened." Methos sighed. "Just because someone has the same last name as you doesn't mean a thing."
"Oh yeah? And what about me and Connor. If Connor hadn't taken me under his wing..."
"You really think that only had to do with the fact that you were from the same clan?" Methos interrupted him. "Connor was one of the most well hidden Immortals I ever heard tell about and you can count his students on one hand. Your name was the least of his interest."
"Then please, enlighten me. Why would he take me in if not because of that connection?"
"That silly little prophecy for a start." Methos pointed out. "He spent a great deal of time with Cassandra back in those days. It's one of the reasons why our paths crossed so rarely especially before I joined up with the Watchers. We've always told you that you were important, Duncan. Did you think we only realized that in the mid-to-late 90s?" He laughed at how naïve Duncan could be.
"Whatever you say, Methos." Duncan scoffed. "But I'm not Connor and I do still believe in the Clan MacLeod."
"Of course you do." Methos muttered. "And what's the kid's name again?"
"Quentin...Quentin MacLeod. The file said he had recently returned to Scotland."
"Perhaps he's playing the martyr. That would certainly be a family trait."
"No one asked you to come." Duncan remarked. He'd spent the entire trip to London hearing all of Methos's objections to the trip.
"Likewise." Methos laughed.
"And you didn't have to leave the hotel this afternoon if all you were going to do is complain."
"Yes, well, if I'm going to be in London and if I'm going to be stuck with only you for company all the way up to Scotland, I'd like some reading material and there just happens to be a shop not too far from here."
"I should have known it would have something to do with books." It was Duncan's turn to laugh this time. "I"d have thought you'd have just about everything ever published by now."
"You don't read classics on a trip, MacLeod. Honestly, sometimes I forget that your people were still savages when I was an old man."
"Ah, yes, here it comes. Please, feel free to tell me all about how much older and wiser you are than everyone else."
"With pleasure." Methos stopped walking. "Except that we're here."
"Black Books." Duncan read the sign.
"What were you expecting? Borders? Barnes and Nobles?" He opened the door and walked inside.
The place was virtually deserted. There wasn't a single staff member or patron walking around inside. Most of the books were piled up on tables with a few shelves here and there that seemed a feeble attempt to maximize space. There wasn't much in the way of a checkout counter. An old desk of sorts was the closest thing there was to a counter of any kind.
"Are you sure they're opened?"
"The door was unlocked." Methos said beginning to rifle through a table. "The door was unlocked." He glanced at the door. "The open side of that sign is facing out. It really is a miracle that you've managed to stay alive for so long."
"Same to you." Duncan shook his head, exasperated.
"Bernard, Bernard! I really don't think we should leave the front unmonitored. What if customers come in?"
"Manny, honestly I left some spare change on the desk. If someone comes in they'll simply pay for their book and make change." Bernard lit a cigarette. "I saw it in a film once."
The two men stepped out from the back room into the shop. Bernard looked around the store. Methos and Duncan glanced over at them, but otherwise said nothing.
"See, nothing stolen yet." Bernard slumped down in the chair behind the desk. Manny frowned.
"You said that last time you did this, then we did inventory at the beginning of the month and we were short seven copies of the Da Vinci Code. Seven copies don't just walk out the door unless the door is left open when no one is looking."
"I'll buy you a pint if anything is missing this time." Bernard shrugged, puffing on his cigarette.
"You said that last time too. You didn't and instead you docked my pay for the lost merchandise."
"Ah, well, you really need to pay more attention to the place. It is what I pay you for. No one was twisting your arm to help me."
"You were twisting my arm! You threatened to sack me." Manny frowned sitting down in the other empty chair besides the desk.
"I'm guessing neither of them are going to ask us if we need any help." Duncan said under his breath.
"Now, isn't this better than Barnes and Noble? I'm telling you, local shops are always so...colorful."
"Didn't realize you enjoyed color quite so much. I took you more for the ordering over the Internet kind of guy."
"You're just impressed by my ability to adapt to technological changes whereas you still can't work a fax machine."
"Oi!" Bernard shouted to the pair. "Would you mind settling something for the two of us?"
"Um...sure." Duncan replied.
"Did you steal anything while we were in the back?"
"No, I'm afraid we didn't get the chance." Methos didn't look up from the table of books.
"See, no harm." Bernard put out his cigarette and lit another.
"Money's all here too." Manny had almost hoped something would be missing to teach Bernard a lesson. "I still say it was quite the risk."
"What can I say? I live on the edge." Bernard glanced around the shop. "Where's Fran? She's usually here whining by now."
"Are you almost done?" Duncan asked growing impatient.
"What exactly is your hurry? We aren't leaving until tomorrow. Are you really that eager to go back out there? In case, you didn't notice it's freezing out." Methos glanced over at Bernard and Manny. "Besides this is far more entertaining."
"I thought you were a firm believer in staying out of other people's affairs."
"Other Immortals, yes, but what's the worst that could happen? A verbal lashing from that man who I'm assuming is the owner." Methos picked up a book. "But as it turns out I think I'm just about done."
"Thank God."
"God has nothing to do with it, MacLeod." They walked over to the desk paying for Methos's book. Bernard barely glanced up at them and he certainly didn't both to extinguish his cigarette.
"So tell me more about this kid we're going to see." Methos asked as they walked to the door. A woman brushed past them on the way in.
"Bernard! Bernard! I have huge news!" Fran said hurrying into the shop.
"Oh, thank heavens you're here." Bernard rolled his eyes. "What was I just saying, Manny? Something about whining..."
"So what's the big news?" Manny interjected
"I have a date!"
"That's not big news. Big news is curing world hunger."
"Oh, c'mon, Bernard." Manny said optimistic as ever. "It has to be more interesting than watching boring customers thumb through books."
"Weren't you the one insisting we sit out here and watch those two guys like hawks. And for what? They barely spent any money and their very presence was boring me to tears."
"You run a book shop." Fran pointed out. "What sort of days were you expecting? Ones filled with fights to the death and good versus evil."
Three blocks away, a freak lightening storm seemed to brew up out of nowhere and Bernard's two customers hurried away from a potential crime scene, a decapitated body and forgotten book left in their wake.
END