Happy Holidays, lferion!
Title: The Welcome Wagon
Author: Jingle come lately
Real Author Name: jinxed_wood
Written for: lferion
Fandoms: Highlander/Agents of SHIELD
Characters/Pairings: Methos, Phil Coulson, Ensemble
Rating: PG
Length: 2075
Summary: That one time Methos wasn't paranoid enough.
THE WELCOME WAGON
Methos had watched the fall of the Triskelion on the news just like everyone else. It would take another few days for the media to truly understand what had happened and how close the Earth had come to living under the heel of a totalitarian government, but Methos had immediately recognised the sticky paw prints of HYDRA for what they were.
The first thing he'd done was fire off a burn note on his phone to MacLeod. Usually Mac would send back a teasing note about his abstention from text messaging, but not this time.
“It's as bad as you suspect,” was all the Highlander sent back.
Methos changed passports and left Seacouver for Paris that night. Mac had dealings with SHIELD during the aftermath of World War II and was not one for hyperbole. While the news hadn't show any footage of the Fridge being breached, that didn't mean it hadn't been compromised. It's difficult to report on something that wasn't supposed to exist. All those pesky human rights issues.
Weeks had passed, and the itch between Methos' shoulder blades had begun to ease as he fell into the routine of his new life. The media was still obsessed with the story of SHIELD's fall to HYDRA, but he had learned that the SHIELD agent that had let him slip away from from his semi indentured servitude during the cold war years, had recently slid into the mire of senile dementia, taking her secrets with her. Of course, they could have done an inventory and discovered a certain human sized casket was empty, but SHIELD had lost so many artefacts to HYDRA and the military, that Methos doubted they would ever be sure of his fate.
And, after all, SHIELD had a lot more to worry about than one measly missing 084 at the moment.
So when Methos received an email from Joe inviting him to Christmas dinner in Seacouver, with Amy and Amanda of all people, he accepted it. True, he was little too old to truly get into the Christmas spirit, but perhaps he could convince Joe to celebrate the Solstice while he was there. His lips twitched as his mind quickly devised several outlandish 'traditions' from the Bronze Age. He wondered how hard he would have to work before he could convince Joe that at least one of them were true - perhaps he could rope in Amanda into the ruse?
Grinning at the thought, he had arranged the flight. 5,000 years old and yet sometimes he was still a fool.
~~*~*~*~~
Seacouver was the same as it ever was at that time of year: cold, wet and grey. The coffee was good, though, even in the crappy airport lounge he was in, with it's Formica seating and bright lights. Methos frowned thoughtfully. Where the hell was Amanda? she should have been here twenty minutes ago.
It was the tea drinker sitting at the counter that first arose his suspicions; a statuesque blonde in jeans and jacket. She was perched delicately on her stool, a smartphone in her hand, and her eyes were scanning the screen as if she was reading it, but not once did she move her fingers to scroll. A little alarm bell went off in the back of his mind and he slowly reached for the plastic menu on the table and covered the lower half of his face as surveyed the room. Not exactly top drawer spycraft, but it had been seventy years. He was a little rusty.
He spotted the second one sitting at the table nearest to the exit, scowling into his coffee cup as if it had somehow personally offended him, and Methos suppressed a groan as he wondered what his odds were if he just leaped over the counter and tried to escape through the kitchens before they realised what had happened. If this were an ordinary street cafe, he might have had a chance, but in a busy US airport this close to Christmas? The place would be crawling with military, cops, and security.
He also quickly discarded his second idea. Dying in a hail of bullets might have been an option if he were just dealing with airport security, but something in his bones told him he was either going to get snagged up by SHIELD or become HYDRA's new special project.
Oh joy.
He was debating whether or not he could buy more time by taking a detour to the bathroom, when the view of his stalkers was momentarily obscured by a nondescript suit.
He looked up into bland, polite smile that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.“Is this seat taken?” the man asked.
“Would it make any difference?” Methos asked. American accent, neatly combed hair, perfectly aligned tie... he sighed. “Let me guess, you're the Welcome Wagon.”
“What gave me away?” the American asked, as he slid into the opposite seat.
“Your holster tugs a little too tightly at the shoulder. You should probably invest in a better tailor,” Methos said, leaning back in his chair as his tried to give off an air of nonchalance. From the amused twinkle in the agent's eyes, he suspected he wasn't being very successful.
“I'm afriad the days when I could afford a better tailor are gone. The budget doesn't quite cover it anymore. I'm Phil Coulson, SHIELD.”
Methos smiled grimly. “Hi, Phil Coulson of SHIELD.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Don't I get to see a badge? Just to make this official.”
The agent's lips twitched. “I think we've played with pleasantries enough, Mr Pierson. I'm on a tight schedule.” He leaned forward in his chair. “You see, Mr Pierson, I have a friend - a very dear friend - and she is one of the most kindest people I know. Something was done to her to her against her will that I can't reverse and we think you may be able to help her. We have a plane on a runway right now. We're asking you to come with us.”
“Is that so,” Methos said. “And if I refuse?”
“Well, then we'll have a problem because Peggy Carter was very fond of you,” Coulson said. “And I'd rather not do something that might dishonour her legacy.
Translation - you'd rather not but you'll do it anyway,” Methos said aloud. Coulson shrugged but didn't refute his words.
A flicker of movement caught the corner of his eye as the hum of another immortal impinged on his senses. He watched as Amanda entered the lounge and scanned the room, a smile fixed on her face as her eyes passed over him, not showing a glimmer of recognition. Methos tried not to let relief show on her face as she turned on her heels and waved enthusiastically at some imagined friend out in the arrivals area before making her escape into the crowds. Clever girl, there was no point in both of them being captured.
He gave Coulson a chilly smile. “Shall we get this over with?” he said, getting to his feet.
A flicker of suspicion showed in the SHIELD agent's eyes, but he gave Methos another genial smile. Methos wondered vaguely how many idiots had been fooled by this agent's gentle manners over the years.
He only hoped he didn't join their ranks.
~~*~*~*~~
The camouflaged plane on the tarmac drew a raised eyebrow from Methos. He had heard rumours about the technology, of course, but this was the first time he'd actually seen it with his own eyes. They entered the plane via the cargo hold and Methos scanned the interior warily. It was obvious this was more than just a means of transportation. He felt eyes follow them as they climbed a set of steps but he quickly discarded that worry as he sensed a more pressing problem ahead. The low hum of an incipient Immortal...but something was wrong.
There was a girl bouncing restlessly on the balls of her feet when he climbed up into a lounge area. She was armed and trained, and looked like she had enough nervous tension coiled inside her to set off a rocket.
“Skye, this Mr Pierson, AKA Mr Adams, AKA...well, I'm sure he's had a lot of pseudonyms over the years and he's remarkably tight lipped about his real name. Mr Pierson is like you mother, an Immortal.”
Methos opened his mouth to say that was impossible, but an element of caution told him to keep that to himself.
Amusement twinkled in Coulson's eyes as he continued. “What Mr Pierson was about to say was that Immortals can't have children,” he said. “But what he doesn't know is that there is alien technology involved in this tale.
Methos pulled a face. Of course there was. “All right, you've got me,” he said. “Say your piece.”
~~*~*~*~~
Bemused, Methos listened to Coulson's tale of Inhumans, Immortals and Diviners, letting the words wash over him as he eyed the kid who was now restlessly lounging in an armchair. She was shaken and scared but hiding it rather well. Apparently, her mother had been an ordinary, everyday Immortal, who had been captured by HYDRA during World War II. She had succeeded in slipping away when her internment camp was liberated but was recaptured again by a HYDRA sleeper agent soon after Skye's birth, and had her Immortality gleaned from her DNA. That last bit made Methos shiver.
He wanted to say she couldn't have been one of them but the familiar-yet-not hum of Skye's body grated on his teeth. Her immortality hadn't been triggered yet but something told him it wouldn't he long now, especially with the life she led. Methos wondered what strange new being would be created when that happened.
He wondered what he should say first - 'no way in hell' or 'rumours of your mother's death have been wildly exaggerated'. It occurred to him, he could fold both comments into one and find a way out of this mess.
“I'm not the one you're looking for,” he said.
“I'm afraid that's not going to work, Mr Pierson, Agent Carter left quite extensive records about you-”
“That's not what I meant,” Methos interrupted. “I mean, you've got the wrong Immortal. You should be looking for Skye's mother.”
“We already told you, she's dead,” Skye said flatly.
“Methos looked from Coulson to Skye, and then back Coulson again. “Hmm, interesting,” he said. “It seems Peggy redacted a few things out of my file after all.”
Agent Coulson folded his arms, all traces of the genial American suddenly gone. “Why don't you just stop playing around and tell us what you know, Mr Pierson.”
Methos smirked and leaned back on the couch. “Well, it's very simple Agent Coulson. I'm an Immortal, I do not age and I do not die - at least, not permanently - unless I quite literally lose my head.”
For a long, long moment he just stared at me unblinkingly, and then he suddenly sprung to life, activating his ear mic. “Did you get that?” he said. “Dig up Whitehall's body. Make sure it's still there!”
Damn it, Methos hadn't thought of that possibility. A HYDRA agent who knew about Immortals and may have possibly found a way of becoming an Immortal himself. If it were true, then it may have just become open season on his kind. He swallowed dryly. He needed to run, and keep on running until he couldn't anymore-
A sharp sting flooded hit his neck, and a deep lethargy radiated through him. He twisted to see another agent, eyes narrowed as she looked down the sight of her gun at him. He swung around to Coulson. “You shot me!”
He shrugged. “Relax, Agent May just tagged you, he said lightly. “And yes, we may have put a little something extra into the mix to knock you out for a while. We can't have you running away now, can we? Welcome back to SHIELD, Mr Pierson. The pay isn't good, and the dental is terrible, and there is the little matter of us being an illegal organisation, but it's never boring and - let's face it - anything is better than the Fridge.
“Bastard,” Methos muttered, through sleep thickened lips, as his eyes closed. He could hear the smirk in Coulson's voice as he faded into unconsciousness.
“You'll come to like me. I make a great Pina Colada.”
THE END
Author: Jingle come lately
Real Author Name: jinxed_wood
Written for: lferion
Fandoms: Highlander/Agents of SHIELD
Characters/Pairings: Methos, Phil Coulson, Ensemble
Rating: PG
Length: 2075
Summary: That one time Methos wasn't paranoid enough.
THE WELCOME WAGON
Methos had watched the fall of the Triskelion on the news just like everyone else. It would take another few days for the media to truly understand what had happened and how close the Earth had come to living under the heel of a totalitarian government, but Methos had immediately recognised the sticky paw prints of HYDRA for what they were.
The first thing he'd done was fire off a burn note on his phone to MacLeod. Usually Mac would send back a teasing note about his abstention from text messaging, but not this time.
“It's as bad as you suspect,” was all the Highlander sent back.
Methos changed passports and left Seacouver for Paris that night. Mac had dealings with SHIELD during the aftermath of World War II and was not one for hyperbole. While the news hadn't show any footage of the Fridge being breached, that didn't mean it hadn't been compromised. It's difficult to report on something that wasn't supposed to exist. All those pesky human rights issues.
Weeks had passed, and the itch between Methos' shoulder blades had begun to ease as he fell into the routine of his new life. The media was still obsessed with the story of SHIELD's fall to HYDRA, but he had learned that the SHIELD agent that had let him slip away from from his semi indentured servitude during the cold war years, had recently slid into the mire of senile dementia, taking her secrets with her. Of course, they could have done an inventory and discovered a certain human sized casket was empty, but SHIELD had lost so many artefacts to HYDRA and the military, that Methos doubted they would ever be sure of his fate.
And, after all, SHIELD had a lot more to worry about than one measly missing 084 at the moment.
So when Methos received an email from Joe inviting him to Christmas dinner in Seacouver, with Amy and Amanda of all people, he accepted it. True, he was little too old to truly get into the Christmas spirit, but perhaps he could convince Joe to celebrate the Solstice while he was there. His lips twitched as his mind quickly devised several outlandish 'traditions' from the Bronze Age. He wondered how hard he would have to work before he could convince Joe that at least one of them were true - perhaps he could rope in Amanda into the ruse?
Grinning at the thought, he had arranged the flight. 5,000 years old and yet sometimes he was still a fool.
~~*~*~*~~
Seacouver was the same as it ever was at that time of year: cold, wet and grey. The coffee was good, though, even in the crappy airport lounge he was in, with it's Formica seating and bright lights. Methos frowned thoughtfully. Where the hell was Amanda? she should have been here twenty minutes ago.
It was the tea drinker sitting at the counter that first arose his suspicions; a statuesque blonde in jeans and jacket. She was perched delicately on her stool, a smartphone in her hand, and her eyes were scanning the screen as if she was reading it, but not once did she move her fingers to scroll. A little alarm bell went off in the back of his mind and he slowly reached for the plastic menu on the table and covered the lower half of his face as surveyed the room. Not exactly top drawer spycraft, but it had been seventy years. He was a little rusty.
He spotted the second one sitting at the table nearest to the exit, scowling into his coffee cup as if it had somehow personally offended him, and Methos suppressed a groan as he wondered what his odds were if he just leaped over the counter and tried to escape through the kitchens before they realised what had happened. If this were an ordinary street cafe, he might have had a chance, but in a busy US airport this close to Christmas? The place would be crawling with military, cops, and security.
He also quickly discarded his second idea. Dying in a hail of bullets might have been an option if he were just dealing with airport security, but something in his bones told him he was either going to get snagged up by SHIELD or become HYDRA's new special project.
Oh joy.
He was debating whether or not he could buy more time by taking a detour to the bathroom, when the view of his stalkers was momentarily obscured by a nondescript suit.
He looked up into bland, polite smile that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.“Is this seat taken?” the man asked.
“Would it make any difference?” Methos asked. American accent, neatly combed hair, perfectly aligned tie... he sighed. “Let me guess, you're the Welcome Wagon.”
“What gave me away?” the American asked, as he slid into the opposite seat.
“Your holster tugs a little too tightly at the shoulder. You should probably invest in a better tailor,” Methos said, leaning back in his chair as his tried to give off an air of nonchalance. From the amused twinkle in the agent's eyes, he suspected he wasn't being very successful.
“I'm afriad the days when I could afford a better tailor are gone. The budget doesn't quite cover it anymore. I'm Phil Coulson, SHIELD.”
Methos smiled grimly. “Hi, Phil Coulson of SHIELD.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Don't I get to see a badge? Just to make this official.”
The agent's lips twitched. “I think we've played with pleasantries enough, Mr Pierson. I'm on a tight schedule.” He leaned forward in his chair. “You see, Mr Pierson, I have a friend - a very dear friend - and she is one of the most kindest people I know. Something was done to her to her against her will that I can't reverse and we think you may be able to help her. We have a plane on a runway right now. We're asking you to come with us.”
“Is that so,” Methos said. “And if I refuse?”
“Well, then we'll have a problem because Peggy Carter was very fond of you,” Coulson said. “And I'd rather not do something that might dishonour her legacy.
Translation - you'd rather not but you'll do it anyway,” Methos said aloud. Coulson shrugged but didn't refute his words.
A flicker of movement caught the corner of his eye as the hum of another immortal impinged on his senses. He watched as Amanda entered the lounge and scanned the room, a smile fixed on her face as her eyes passed over him, not showing a glimmer of recognition. Methos tried not to let relief show on her face as she turned on her heels and waved enthusiastically at some imagined friend out in the arrivals area before making her escape into the crowds. Clever girl, there was no point in both of them being captured.
He gave Coulson a chilly smile. “Shall we get this over with?” he said, getting to his feet.
A flicker of suspicion showed in the SHIELD agent's eyes, but he gave Methos another genial smile. Methos wondered vaguely how many idiots had been fooled by this agent's gentle manners over the years.
He only hoped he didn't join their ranks.
~~*~*~*~~
The camouflaged plane on the tarmac drew a raised eyebrow from Methos. He had heard rumours about the technology, of course, but this was the first time he'd actually seen it with his own eyes. They entered the plane via the cargo hold and Methos scanned the interior warily. It was obvious this was more than just a means of transportation. He felt eyes follow them as they climbed a set of steps but he quickly discarded that worry as he sensed a more pressing problem ahead. The low hum of an incipient Immortal...but something was wrong.
There was a girl bouncing restlessly on the balls of her feet when he climbed up into a lounge area. She was armed and trained, and looked like she had enough nervous tension coiled inside her to set off a rocket.
“Skye, this Mr Pierson, AKA Mr Adams, AKA...well, I'm sure he's had a lot of pseudonyms over the years and he's remarkably tight lipped about his real name. Mr Pierson is like you mother, an Immortal.”
Methos opened his mouth to say that was impossible, but an element of caution told him to keep that to himself.
Amusement twinkled in Coulson's eyes as he continued. “What Mr Pierson was about to say was that Immortals can't have children,” he said. “But what he doesn't know is that there is alien technology involved in this tale.
Methos pulled a face. Of course there was. “All right, you've got me,” he said. “Say your piece.”
~~*~*~*~~
Bemused, Methos listened to Coulson's tale of Inhumans, Immortals and Diviners, letting the words wash over him as he eyed the kid who was now restlessly lounging in an armchair. She was shaken and scared but hiding it rather well. Apparently, her mother had been an ordinary, everyday Immortal, who had been captured by HYDRA during World War II. She had succeeded in slipping away when her internment camp was liberated but was recaptured again by a HYDRA sleeper agent soon after Skye's birth, and had her Immortality gleaned from her DNA. That last bit made Methos shiver.
He wanted to say she couldn't have been one of them but the familiar-yet-not hum of Skye's body grated on his teeth. Her immortality hadn't been triggered yet but something told him it wouldn't he long now, especially with the life she led. Methos wondered what strange new being would be created when that happened.
He wondered what he should say first - 'no way in hell' or 'rumours of your mother's death have been wildly exaggerated'. It occurred to him, he could fold both comments into one and find a way out of this mess.
“I'm not the one you're looking for,” he said.
“I'm afraid that's not going to work, Mr Pierson, Agent Carter left quite extensive records about you-”
“That's not what I meant,” Methos interrupted. “I mean, you've got the wrong Immortal. You should be looking for Skye's mother.”
“We already told you, she's dead,” Skye said flatly.
“Methos looked from Coulson to Skye, and then back Coulson again. “Hmm, interesting,” he said. “It seems Peggy redacted a few things out of my file after all.”
Agent Coulson folded his arms, all traces of the genial American suddenly gone. “Why don't you just stop playing around and tell us what you know, Mr Pierson.”
Methos smirked and leaned back on the couch. “Well, it's very simple Agent Coulson. I'm an Immortal, I do not age and I do not die - at least, not permanently - unless I quite literally lose my head.”
For a long, long moment he just stared at me unblinkingly, and then he suddenly sprung to life, activating his ear mic. “Did you get that?” he said. “Dig up Whitehall's body. Make sure it's still there!”
Damn it, Methos hadn't thought of that possibility. A HYDRA agent who knew about Immortals and may have possibly found a way of becoming an Immortal himself. If it were true, then it may have just become open season on his kind. He swallowed dryly. He needed to run, and keep on running until he couldn't anymore-
A sharp sting flooded hit his neck, and a deep lethargy radiated through him. He twisted to see another agent, eyes narrowed as she looked down the sight of her gun at him. He swung around to Coulson. “You shot me!”
He shrugged. “Relax, Agent May just tagged you, he said lightly. “And yes, we may have put a little something extra into the mix to knock you out for a while. We can't have you running away now, can we? Welcome back to SHIELD, Mr Pierson. The pay isn't good, and the dental is terrible, and there is the little matter of us being an illegal organisation, but it's never boring and - let's face it - anything is better than the Fridge.
“Bastard,” Methos muttered, through sleep thickened lips, as his eyes closed. He could hear the smirk in Coulson's voice as he faded into unconsciousness.
“You'll come to like me. I make a great Pina Colada.”
THE END