Comments | hkath: Pennies From Heaven (1/?) (PG)

hkath

Pennies From Heaven (1/?) (PG)

Oct 13, 2006 01:44

Title: Pennies From Heaven
Series: Stardust (and other possible impossibilities)
Characters: Eventual Jack/Sawyer (duh), Christian, various other cast members popping up incongruously
Summary: Sawyer meets a couple of newcomers to the carnival trade and attempts to make them feel welcome... sort of.
Prompts: fanfic100 50. spade and psych_30 6. Inferiority complex.
( Read more... )

stardust, jack/sawyer, -all fic-, -lost fic-

Comments 22

alliecat8 October 14 2006, 00:43:39 UTC

Squeeeeeeeee! You made Christian a snake-oil salesman, how much do I LOVE that??? I just love everything about this AU, it's absolutely perfect. Sawyer as a card shark, that is totally fitting and Jack the dutiful son in spite of his distaste for his father's work, that rings so true. I even liked the little glimpse of Kate (since I know we're heading for J/S I can deal with Kate, heh). The sensory details, the dialogue, everything was right on target. I loved it at the end, when you played on Christian's snobbery and Sawyer's low self-esteem. I really think you're onto something here. Fabulous job!

hkath October 14 2006, 04:32:23 UTC

That Christian detail was the big plot idea that hit me in the head and wouldn't let me go. It took kidding around with Ang to a whole new level with one word! That girl is magic, I tell you.

Kate actually seems to be in it a lot so far (judging by the almost-finished second part) but she's a bit more like Sawyer's annoying sister than like his possible romantic conquest.

Yay, I'm glad you like it!!

fosfomifira October 14 2006, 07:23:24 UTC

What an intriguing AU.

I love how you present the themes, questions which will be answered in the future. For example, Jack is a bit of an ass to Sawyer at first, I wonder why. I wonder when and how he learned how to play that card trick. Christian seems to hate Sawyer for no real reason, I wonder why (does Jack have the tendency to keep 'bad company'? Does he think that Sawyer can be a bad influence?). Sawyer looks so lonely and defensive.

hkath October 15 2006, 06:31:36 UTC

You seem to know a lot more about where this is going than I do. Thanks so much for this comment! *takes notes* ;)

Glad you liked it! Thank you *hugs*

elise_509 October 14 2006, 17:22:20 UTC

This is the most original idea of an AU I think I've ever read! So inventive. I love Kate and Sawyer being carnival folk and to have Jack and Christian come around peddling booze? Brilliant. Christian is so the severe creepy kind of thin guy I could see working at a carnival, he just has that look about him.

*loves madly*

hkath October 15 2006, 06:35:00 UTC

Thanks, babe! That image of Christian was totally what made writing this necessary. Glad you agree about him!! And thanks for your comment :)

jenthegypsy October 16 2006, 02:55:34 UTC

Damn it! I read this Friday night - twice! - thinking Friday the 13th didn't turn out half bad after all, and now I see that I didn't comment? @%$&#!

First, thank you up one side and down the other for the Billie Holiday kick. If that doesn't set the mood, what does? And the mood was set, all right, from the get go. Your descriptions are atmospheric; this fic oozes scent, sound, sight, taste and touch.

Had I commented Friday night, I would have been throwing favorite bits and pieces at you left and right, but everybody else has already said most of that before me. I'll just add that I love you maintaining Sawyer's love of books in this AU (He's considering a trip back to his trailer for a rendez-vous with a book and a near-empty bottle...). That is a very nice touch.

Also very much enjoyed Jack just standing back and watching, then taking Sawyer to the cleaners with one smooth play. That whole scene was written to perfection. And "Little Shep"? Thought I'd bust a gut ( ... )

hkath October 16 2006, 15:00:27 UTC

Thank you so much for your comment! I will try to live up to expectations :)

zelda_zee October 16 2006, 07:49:02 UTC

Better late than never, I hope. Sorry it took me so long to get here, I was trying (and failing) to get something written myself.

This is so fun and intriguing. I can't wait to see where it goes!

I know where the carnival idea came from, but why 1930's? I'm fascinated by your choice of time period.

Three card monte! Oldest trick in the book. Love how you conflate Sawyer's cons & the poker game there.
I'm excited to read more of this!

hkath October 16 2006, 14:59:04 UTC

No problem, I'm glad to know there's something of yours coming!! :D

1930s came from... I don't know, I guess the idea of having Christian as a sleazy snake-oil salesman meant it had to be old, and then prohibition seemed like a good idea, so 1930 made sense.

And the three card monte was all Alan Tudyk's fault, I was sitting here writing and minding my own business, and bam, he showed up on my TV doing just what Sawyer was doing in the story, hee :D