Fic: Indelible (1/1)

[hitlikehammers]

Title: Indelible
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Richard/Ben, Richard/Miles
Word Count: 2,425
Summary: The things that get forgotten. For bittersweet325, who requested “Richard and the Modern World” at The lostsquee 2010 Lost Summer Luau. Warning for implied/impending character death. Spoilers through 6.17 - The End.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Author’s

Comments

[greedyslayer]

;O;

I think this is my favorite part:

Because Richard, he’s supposed to die amidst green, upon sand; he’s supposed to burn on a pyre, or be lowered below the horizon with a marker made of sticks and stones. He’s supposed to die a legend, a protector: untouched by the world but forever a part of it, having watched it change and grown and burn like a shepherd over his flock, a father to his wayward sons. A friend. A god.

A lover.

He was never supposed to die.

It's like a perfect mix of Ben POV and meta, 'cause I believe deep down, Ben would've really though that, given that since he was a little boy and for so long he knew Richard as ageless, as bound to the Island.

This is really good too:

He still thinks about having more time, where Richard’s long since had too much.

He draws back, half-reluctant, but Richard knows; has stood where Ben is, has felt what’s ripping him to pieces inside more times than Ben cares to fathom.And that both makes me hurt and relieved for Richard, because you know he's had to watch people grow old

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you so much; I'm so glad that you enjoyed this, and that the emotions and the dynamic between them worked for you :)

[hitlikehammers]

Oh, doll, thank you so much -- Happy Queen Day!

[ciaimpala]

The way you captured Ben's thoughts in this was so heartbreakingly perfect...I especially loved the line about Ben wanting more time, but Richard has already had too much, and about how Richard knows far too much what it's like to be helpless watching someone age and die. So powerful, so beautifully written.

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you so much; I'm so glad this worked for you, and that you enjoyed it.

[ozmissage]

This is so beautifully written and it hurts in this way that's real and good, if that makes any sense. You write an amazing Ben. I feel for him here, there's so much weight to his thoughts and his visit with Richard was handled so well.

And I have to quote this section back to you because your description of Miles was amazing:

Ben knows a lot about Miles, trivial details he hasn’t forgotten: what size shoe he wears, that he isn’t sensitive to poison ivy, that he broke his arm at the age of thirteen and that absolutely hates chicken -- prefers fish in his tacos. Ben also knows that Miles Straume can be bought if the price is right, and that he suffers a barbeque wing once in a while because Mr. Cluck’s reminds him of a friend.

Wonderful fic.

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you so much; I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and that Ben's dynamic worked for you -- and of course, that you thought the Miles description was apt, because I have a particular love for Miles :)

[aurilly]

God, this is beautiful and heartbreaking. There are so many lines with so many beautiful images. You did a truly amazing job with this. Sorry I can't even be more articulate, but I'm too busy being choked up to think.

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you so much, doll; I was a little leery as to whether I'd managed to convey the scene that was in my head, so I am particularly pleased that you enjoyed this, and that the emotions came through for you.