It kind of make sense to me that couples use ultimatums as a form of tools to get what they want.
What?! How does that make sense? Psychological blackmail is psychological blackmail. I wouldn't tolerate that kind of thing in any relationship, friendship or otherwise.
Yep, sounds like your friend is jealous and is shifting blame on you, and taking it out on you. Sounds like it's definitely time to move on.
At one point, I thought it was just me being a really bad friend and was whining. But she said some more much hurtful things.
And I spent a couple days thinking about the things she said. I realized this friendship is suffering from terminal cancer, which is resentment.
It is actually very sad to see a person who used to be so strong and amazing turning to an unhappy, resentful being.
And I have been friends with her for almost 10 years now. We have gone through a lot, and we have grown a lot together. I will definitely miss her. Or maybe I have lost her for a while already, I just didn't realize it.
Yes, it is still blackmailing. I shouldn't say "make sense". I meant it is more commonly seen in romantic relationships, because jealousy is pretty much inevitable, and ultimatums and jealousy are almost cousins. That's how I see it.
I meant it is more commonly seen in romantic relationships, because jealousy is pretty much inevitable, and ultimatums and jealousy are almost cousins. That's how I see it.
Yeah, that's sad when it happens. It's usually got to do with insecurity on one hand, and moving into a person's individual space too far on the other. I think too much familiarity breeds contempt, and both jealousy and ultimatums are forms of contempt.
Buuut, that aside. :) I think you're right, many people make bad choices and then shift blame on others, or on circumstances, and then take it out on those they envy for not making the same bad choices. Sounds like she's trying to rationalize her own choices too, by saying her life-style is "adult" and yours isn't, which is just silly.
It's actually pretty funny. I never imagine I would have a Michael Novotny in my life. She's now turning into a mid S5 Michael. There were a few times I kept thinking she should get off the high horse she's riding.
But her problem's more complex, because she resents and envies my freedom.
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What?! How does that make sense? Psychological blackmail is psychological blackmail. I wouldn't tolerate that kind of thing in any relationship, friendship or otherwise.
Yep, sounds like your friend is jealous and is shifting blame on you, and taking it out on you. Sounds like it's definitely time to move on.
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Thanks a lot for saying that.
At one point, I thought it was just me being a really bad friend and was whining. But she said some more much hurtful things.
And I spent a couple days thinking about the things she said. I realized this friendship is suffering from terminal cancer, which is resentment.
It is actually very sad to see a person who used to be so strong and amazing turning to an unhappy, resentful being.
And I have been friends with her for almost 10 years now. We have gone through a lot, and we have grown a lot together. I will definitely miss her. Or maybe I have lost her for a while already, I just didn't realize it.
Yes, it is still blackmailing. I shouldn't say "make sense". I meant it is more commonly seen in romantic relationships, because jealousy is pretty much inevitable, and ultimatums and jealousy are almost cousins. That's how I see it.
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Yeah, that's sad when it happens. It's usually got to do with insecurity on one hand, and moving into a person's individual space too far on the other. I think too much familiarity breeds contempt, and both jealousy and ultimatums are forms of contempt.
Buuut, that aside. :) I think you're right, many people make bad choices and then shift blame on others, or on circumstances, and then take it out on those they envy for not making the same bad choices. Sounds like she's trying to rationalize her own choices too, by saying her life-style is "adult" and yours isn't, which is just silly.
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But her problem's more complex, because she resents and envies my freedom.
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