The futile search for authentic experience (1 .. n)

[hirez]

Dear nice people in bands.

You were probably keeping the existence of 'road worn' guitars from me because you knew I'd go off on one and/or jabber randomly about (post)modernist theory. I'm sure your intention was good, but the Koons-style cat is out of the Fendi (probably. It would be a bad idea to try to make me care.) knockoff bag.

For Fuck's

Comments

[quercus]

Pah! You ought to watch Rich Hall's "Dirty South". You and he would get on.

"Ring-spun"? Do they really know what that means, and has it really been snapped up as some signifier of credibility?

[hirez]

Probably not. Yes, it was.

[sarah_mum]

Until I clicked the link I thought that "road worn" was just another way of saying "second hand", like 'vintage' for musos.
Do they attack the guitars with a sander and a greasy rag dipped in JD, or is there a back room full of pale, shy indie-boys and girls hammering the frets 24/7? A battery farm of instrument battery.

[hirez]

I have no idea. One would assume the pale Telecasters get special attention from muscle-shirted Noo Joisey types windmilling away at 'Born to run'. I guess it's one way of dealing with the EU tribute-band mountain; set them to work in guitar factories. After all, it would be no use buying a guitar with the wrong sort of wear. Imagine the terrible noise that would result if you bought an instrument that had been subject to nothing but Country & Western, and started bashing out angular post-punk with the thing. Madness.

[valkyriekaren]

It's the next logical step from jeans with holes already in them, I suppose.

(I had jeans with a hole in when I was a teenager. It was because I had put a hacksaw through the knee while cutting posts for building a withy fence. Yeah, I'm a country girl at heart.)

[hirez]

Are jeans sans holes actually a scarf? I suggest we might need the services of a jobbing Topologist[1] in order to be sure.

[1] Knowing all the words to 'Fiddler on the roof' does not count.

[aoakley]

It's one step away from "ready-broken", I suppose, which is itself just one step away from Reginald Perin's "Grot".

There will then be a rebellion against the rebellion, and all the hip and trendy kids will become Young Conservatives; not the Ministry T-shirt and combat-trousered Young Conservatives that I was part of, but the kind of Young Conservatives who own brand new tuxedos and get their photos in the Telegraph.

[mr_tom]

In a similar vein, apparently it is the fashion for newly-appointed barristers to subject their wigs to a thorough stomping in the gutter, so's not to look like a pupil in court. Don't know if Ede & Ravenscroft have started producing pre-distressed wigs though.

[quercus]

There's a powder one can purchase for doing it, from Trumpers. I believe it was intended as "essence of youth" in the aging president market, but it turns out to work well for distressing horsehair.