the sun shines when you smile [exo]
the sun shines when you smile
xiuhan; pg
a/n: dedicated to my xiuhan/ xiumin loves
The blood gushes over his fingers, warm and unrelenting in the way it won’t stop pouring out from Luhan’s body.
Minseok can scream now.
The first sound he makes in three days, and that’s all he can do. He can’t form words-can’t form thoughts. He screams and screams and soon he can’t tell if he’s still screaming or if he’s sobbing, but nothing coming out of his mouth sounds like words. He’s clutching Luhan’s body to himself, the ship getting farther and farther away from them as the sun rises higher and higher above the horizon, light slowly changing from a dark orange to a paler yellow.
All around them the water is turning red from Luhan’s wound and it’s all Minseok can do to keep them above the waves, suddenly violent despite how the ocean had been almost frighteningly calm moments before. Minseok doesn’t even hear how Jongdae and Jongin are trying to swim close enough to pull Minseok back home. He catches both of his brothers’ gazes and they seem to realize from his expression that they’ve both done enough-more than enough. Their eyes lower and they disappear back into the sea, most likely to tell the others that Minseok will be coming home tonight-finally.
Minseok wants to tell them that it’s all pointless.
He doesn’t understand how no one on the ship could’ve been awake yet. He doesn’t understand-as he spots a rock jutting out from the waters and swims Luhan to it, scarlet bleeding behind them as he drags the prince-how no one could’ve been on deck at all, how no one could’ve heard the shuffle as Minseok had tried to stop Luhan from dragging them both overboard when Minseok’s brothers had come, bearing a dagger in their hands.
(as Minseok had fought in the water, fought with all his strength but as a human he wasn’t as strong as Luhan-and Minseok could only scream soundlessly as the prince had stabbed himself with the blade)
The hard rock chafes at Minseok’s scales as he pulls himself and the prince up onto the slanted boulder, resting Luhan down as gently as he can with the prince’s head and upper body cradled in the merman’s arms. Luhan’s legs are draped over Minseok’s tail and Luhan still somehow looks amused, curious, wet and coughing up water, chest wound gaping and hideous. “So that’s what it looks like,” Luhan says hoarsely, one hand hesitantly skimming down to touch where scales meet skin.
“Why,” Minseok whispers, voice breaking. “Why-why, why, why, why, why-”
“So that’s what you sound like,” Luhan smiles, eyes half-lidded now as he reaches up and skims Minseok’s mouth with his fingertips.
Minseok grabs Luhan’s hand in his own, silently begging the prince to stop being like this-to stop pretending like they don't only have seconds until Luhan never breathes again. But Luhan moves his hand against Minseok’s, twisting it around so their fingers are clasped together. “Why?” Minseok repeats and it feels like his throat is being slit with every breath he takes.
The sun is nearly fully risen now, early morning sunlight warming their faces.
“If not me, then you, right?” Luhan says, breaths coming heavier as he presses his cheek against Minseok’s bare chest. “And you wouldn’t have done it, would you?”
Minseok wants to close his eyes to ease the stinging, to hide the fact that the moisture welling up against the rims of his eyes is about to spill over. But he can’t even blink for a moment-he doesn’t want to waste a single second that Luhan still breathes and moves. “Better me than you,” Minseok whispers. Luhan takes their joined hands, pressing the back of Minseok’s against the prince’s own cheek.
Luhan’s skin is overly warm, flushed, and Luhan’s shirt is soaked with seawater and blood. “Hey,” Luhan murmurs, free hand coming up to cup Minseok’s face. “What’s that?”
Minseok holds Luhan tighter. “What?”
Luhan’s thumb brushes at the wetness beneath Minseok’s eyes. “This,” Luhan smiles again, and his breathing stutters right then, a cough coming through and Minseok’s entire body tenses-only loosening when Luhan shudders out in an exhale, eyes still open but lids seeming heavier than ever. “What’s so sad?”
“You’re a bastard,” Minseok says weakly.
Luhan flashes teeth just then, smile broadening for a brief moment before it turns back into a grimace that the prince struggles to smooth out. “Exactly,” he says, and Minseok doesn’t understand how Luhan’s voice is still so light. “So better me than you-much better.”
Minseok can’t stop himself anymore. There’s no point in being careful now, no point in trying to keep Luhan from bleeding out anymore. Minseok buries his face against Luhan’s neck, curling over the prince’s body. “I’m sorry,” and even to his own ears, it sounds like he’s begging-desperate and needy and Luhan can’t leave. “I’m sorry.”
Luhan’s fingers stroke through Minseok’s hair, and the prince’s lips find the merman’s, soft and warm. “Just when I finally get to hear your voice,” Luhan sighs, as casually as if he was regretting choosing pasta over soup, “I have to go.”
And Minseok can’t tell if what escaped his lips then is a sob or a scream.
The color is leaving Luhan’s face, light leaving the prince’s eyes, and Luhan holds Minseok’s face with both hands then. “Wherever I’m going,” Luhan says, and the smile on his face is suddenly gone-his eyes suddenly intent and determined, “I don’t want to see you there. I want you to be here for a long, long, long time.”
Minseok’s teeth clench, throat thick and dry.
“Promise,” Luhan whispers, and Minseok hears in the prince’s voice that Luhan whispers because he can’t speak any louder-it takes too much for him to breathe.
Minseok leans in again, and Luhan tilts his head up to close the distance between their mouths before Minseok can speak. “Promise,” Minseok echoes, and he doesn’t want to promise-he wants to let Luhan go and join him as soon as he can-as soon as he can find that dagger wherever it had landed when it sunk. He wants to follow Luhan because he doesn’t know how else he can go on-there’s no otherwise in Minseok’s mind. There’s no future-there’s no more possibility of smiles and happiness and love and Luhan is going to take everything.
Luhan’s expression is content then, smiling and sleepy as his eyes flutter, closing for a little too long before they open again. “I want to make you promise me that you won’t cry either,” Luhan says, so softly that Minseok can barely hear him over the waves, “but you’ll break that one, won’t you?”
“Bastard,” Minseok says again, and his entire body is aching with the restraint of keeping himself from sobbing, from falling apart. But he’ll have an eternity of falling apart-for now, for these last moments, he can’t break.
Luhan laughs-a horribly weak little sound that Minseok knows he can only hear because his face is so close to Luhan’s. “Mm hm,” Luhan singsongs under his breath-his last breath-as his hand falls away from Minseok’s face.
The prince’s eyes close.
Minseok doesn’t cry.
xiuhan; pg
a/n: dedicated to my xiuhan/ xiumin loves
The blood gushes over his fingers, warm and unrelenting in the way it won’t stop pouring out from Luhan’s body.
Minseok can scream now.
The first sound he makes in three days, and that’s all he can do. He can’t form words-can’t form thoughts. He screams and screams and soon he can’t tell if he’s still screaming or if he’s sobbing, but nothing coming out of his mouth sounds like words. He’s clutching Luhan’s body to himself, the ship getting farther and farther away from them as the sun rises higher and higher above the horizon, light slowly changing from a dark orange to a paler yellow.
All around them the water is turning red from Luhan’s wound and it’s all Minseok can do to keep them above the waves, suddenly violent despite how the ocean had been almost frighteningly calm moments before. Minseok doesn’t even hear how Jongdae and Jongin are trying to swim close enough to pull Minseok back home. He catches both of his brothers’ gazes and they seem to realize from his expression that they’ve both done enough-more than enough. Their eyes lower and they disappear back into the sea, most likely to tell the others that Minseok will be coming home tonight-finally.
Minseok wants to tell them that it’s all pointless.
He doesn’t understand how no one on the ship could’ve been awake yet. He doesn’t understand-as he spots a rock jutting out from the waters and swims Luhan to it, scarlet bleeding behind them as he drags the prince-how no one could’ve been on deck at all, how no one could’ve heard the shuffle as Minseok had tried to stop Luhan from dragging them both overboard when Minseok’s brothers had come, bearing a dagger in their hands.
(as Minseok had fought in the water, fought with all his strength but as a human he wasn’t as strong as Luhan-and Minseok could only scream soundlessly as the prince had stabbed himself with the blade)
The hard rock chafes at Minseok’s scales as he pulls himself and the prince up onto the slanted boulder, resting Luhan down as gently as he can with the prince’s head and upper body cradled in the merman’s arms. Luhan’s legs are draped over Minseok’s tail and Luhan still somehow looks amused, curious, wet and coughing up water, chest wound gaping and hideous. “So that’s what it looks like,” Luhan says hoarsely, one hand hesitantly skimming down to touch where scales meet skin.
“Why,” Minseok whispers, voice breaking. “Why-why, why, why, why, why-”
“So that’s what you sound like,” Luhan smiles, eyes half-lidded now as he reaches up and skims Minseok’s mouth with his fingertips.
Minseok grabs Luhan’s hand in his own, silently begging the prince to stop being like this-to stop pretending like they don't only have seconds until Luhan never breathes again. But Luhan moves his hand against Minseok’s, twisting it around so their fingers are clasped together. “Why?” Minseok repeats and it feels like his throat is being slit with every breath he takes.
The sun is nearly fully risen now, early morning sunlight warming their faces.
“If not me, then you, right?” Luhan says, breaths coming heavier as he presses his cheek against Minseok’s bare chest. “And you wouldn’t have done it, would you?”
Minseok wants to close his eyes to ease the stinging, to hide the fact that the moisture welling up against the rims of his eyes is about to spill over. But he can’t even blink for a moment-he doesn’t want to waste a single second that Luhan still breathes and moves. “Better me than you,” Minseok whispers. Luhan takes their joined hands, pressing the back of Minseok’s against the prince’s own cheek.
Luhan’s skin is overly warm, flushed, and Luhan’s shirt is soaked with seawater and blood. “Hey,” Luhan murmurs, free hand coming up to cup Minseok’s face. “What’s that?”
Minseok holds Luhan tighter. “What?”
Luhan’s thumb brushes at the wetness beneath Minseok’s eyes. “This,” Luhan smiles again, and his breathing stutters right then, a cough coming through and Minseok’s entire body tenses-only loosening when Luhan shudders out in an exhale, eyes still open but lids seeming heavier than ever. “What’s so sad?”
“You’re a bastard,” Minseok says weakly.
Luhan flashes teeth just then, smile broadening for a brief moment before it turns back into a grimace that the prince struggles to smooth out. “Exactly,” he says, and Minseok doesn’t understand how Luhan’s voice is still so light. “So better me than you-much better.”
Minseok can’t stop himself anymore. There’s no point in being careful now, no point in trying to keep Luhan from bleeding out anymore. Minseok buries his face against Luhan’s neck, curling over the prince’s body. “I’m sorry,” and even to his own ears, it sounds like he’s begging-desperate and needy and Luhan can’t leave. “I’m sorry.”
Luhan’s fingers stroke through Minseok’s hair, and the prince’s lips find the merman’s, soft and warm. “Just when I finally get to hear your voice,” Luhan sighs, as casually as if he was regretting choosing pasta over soup, “I have to go.”
And Minseok can’t tell if what escaped his lips then is a sob or a scream.
The color is leaving Luhan’s face, light leaving the prince’s eyes, and Luhan holds Minseok’s face with both hands then. “Wherever I’m going,” Luhan says, and the smile on his face is suddenly gone-his eyes suddenly intent and determined, “I don’t want to see you there. I want you to be here for a long, long, long time.”
Minseok’s teeth clench, throat thick and dry.
“Promise,” Luhan whispers, and Minseok hears in the prince’s voice that Luhan whispers because he can’t speak any louder-it takes too much for him to breathe.
Minseok leans in again, and Luhan tilts his head up to close the distance between their mouths before Minseok can speak. “Promise,” Minseok echoes, and he doesn’t want to promise-he wants to let Luhan go and join him as soon as he can-as soon as he can find that dagger wherever it had landed when it sunk. He wants to follow Luhan because he doesn’t know how else he can go on-there’s no otherwise in Minseok’s mind. There’s no future-there’s no more possibility of smiles and happiness and love and Luhan is going to take everything.
Luhan’s expression is content then, smiling and sleepy as his eyes flutter, closing for a little too long before they open again. “I want to make you promise me that you won’t cry either,” Luhan says, so softly that Minseok can barely hear him over the waves, “but you’ll break that one, won’t you?”
“Bastard,” Minseok says again, and his entire body is aching with the restraint of keeping himself from sobbing, from falling apart. But he’ll have an eternity of falling apart-for now, for these last moments, he can’t break.
Luhan laughs-a horribly weak little sound that Minseok knows he can only hear because his face is so close to Luhan’s. “Mm hm,” Luhan singsongs under his breath-his last breath-as his hand falls away from Minseok’s face.
The prince’s eyes close.
Minseok doesn’t cry.