I know how you feel. The constant want and never receiving. Questioning yourself to try and find reasons for your remaining unhappy and alone. The similar pains we discuss during our late-night sessions.
It can't be as easy as someone telling you 'it will all be okay'. Even if they know what you're going through, it doesn't matter, because they can't do anything to fix it. It's a state of mind you put yourself in, and the only way out is through a door you have to find yourself. I'm here to encourage you though, and help in any way I can. You don't have to be so strong all the time, Sam. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. Like you're always telling me, it's not safe to keep these things bottled, and you can't fool yourself by saying that "everything's okay". Sometimes you can't make it on your own, or you just don't want to face things by yourself, and that's what friends are for. <3
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Awr, thank you <3 And I know...I know you're always there. I just don't know how to share like that. I don't know how to say things 'face to face' knowing that an answer will be coming moments later. I always get on edge, worrying that I'll look the fool. But then, I also feel that all I am is strength. That if I don't have that, that if I let it slip for even a moment I will lose what I've worked hard to cultivate. That is, my usual facade of "That doesn't bother me". I don't really want that anymore though, in the end. I don't want to hide how I feel...and it's not healthy anyway. So I'll try to remember this. At the very least I can write it here, express it in just that little way
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It can't be as easy as someone telling you 'it will all be okay'. Even if they know what you're going through, it doesn't matter, because they can't do anything to fix it. It's a state of mind you put yourself in, and the only way out is through a door you have to find yourself. I'm here to encourage you though, and help in any way I can. You don't have to be so strong all the time, Sam. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. Like you're always telling me, it's not safe to keep these things bottled, and you can't fool yourself by saying that "everything's okay". Sometimes you can't make it on your own, or you just don't want to face things by yourself, and that's what friends are for. <3 ( ... )
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