One step forward. Ten steps back.
My mom cashed out her whole retirement fund to send me to school for one semester and it was all for nothing. According to the government, it doesn't matter that she used every dime of it for my tuition and that we have the paperwork and 1079 form to prove it. It counted as an income and has therefore royally screwed me over.
It doesn't matter that we spent half of 2008 on food stamps. They don't care that Toe spent most of the year unemployed and (on paper) still is. They don't care that we're up to our ears in debt and are about to lose our house. Because there isn't a way to explain to the IRS that we have to come up with a thousand bucks by the end of the year so Toe doesn't have to go back to fucking Burma! There's no way for you to tell them that half of your food comes from the shelter or that you've been selling off your shit to pay bills! Their bills in fact! The state of Indiana is charging my mom tax on that retirement money and that's $1,100 she owes before she can get her $500 federal refund. But none of this matters. All they care about is that my mom's adjusted gross income is over the limit.
So all of my grants, 'supplementary assistance,' and need-based scholarships I worked off my butt off for? Gone. And since no one in my family can qualify for the PLUS loan or co-sign a private loan, I'm screwed.
It was going to be hard enough for me to stay next year anyway, there was no way I was going to find ten grand in scholarships, but now that I need twenty grand? Fuck that. Have they seen the economy lately?!
Worse yet, when I drop out of school and start working, I won't even be able to save the money for school. I'll have to start paying back the $10,000 I owe the federal government (plus the $7,000 I owe my grandparents. FUN.
I can feel all of my dreams and goals going up in smoke, guys. I just... I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm just so sick of fighting for every inch just to have six more taken away. I'm not getting anywhere and I'm just so sick of it. All I wanna do is curl up in a ball and cry. That's all I have been doing and I hate myself for it! It's not helping but I honestly don't even know what to do to help.
I just want something, anything, to be easy for once in my life.
It doesn't matter that we spent half of 2008 on food stamps. They don't care that Toe spent most of the year unemployed and (on paper) still is. They don't care that we're up to our ears in debt and are about to lose our house. Because there isn't a way to explain to the IRS that we have to come up with a thousand bucks by the end of the year so Toe doesn't have to go back to fucking Burma! There's no way for you to tell them that half of your food comes from the shelter or that you've been selling off your shit to pay bills! Their bills in fact! The state of Indiana is charging my mom tax on that retirement money and that's $1,100 she owes before she can get her $500 federal refund. But none of this matters. All they care about is that my mom's adjusted gross income is over the limit.
So all of my grants, 'supplementary assistance,' and need-based scholarships I worked off my butt off for? Gone. And since no one in my family can qualify for the PLUS loan or co-sign a private loan, I'm screwed.
It was going to be hard enough for me to stay next year anyway, there was no way I was going to find ten grand in scholarships, but now that I need twenty grand? Fuck that. Have they seen the economy lately?!
Worse yet, when I drop out of school and start working, I won't even be able to save the money for school. I'll have to start paying back the $10,000 I owe the federal government (plus the $7,000 I owe my grandparents. FUN.
I can feel all of my dreams and goals going up in smoke, guys. I just... I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm just so sick of fighting for every inch just to have six more taken away. I'm not getting anywhere and I'm just so sick of it. All I wanna do is curl up in a ball and cry. That's all I have been doing and I hate myself for it! It's not helping but I honestly don't even know what to do to help.
I just want something, anything, to be easy for once in my life.