[ficlet] fallen spindle

Nov 04, 2011 21:20

Title: fallen spindle (A sort-of epilogue to "broken glass". )
Characters: OC!Fem!Philippines, Fem!America, Fem!Australia, and mentions of other genderbended nations
Rated: PG13 for...well, I don't know either. Politically charged material? The preview quote tells you all you need to know.
Warnings: Inaccuracies, shortness, OCs, genderbending, ( Read more... )

author - trishpawachunyu, char: australia, oc: philippines, fanfiction, char: america

Leave a comment

Comments 4

wayward_and_me November 4 2011, 14:07:55 UTC
... Trish.

As usual, your style is to be admired. I'm uber jealous. I love certain ideas that you spread before us - life over pride, pride over life. There's something in the way the story flowed that left me cold.

Really, my only comment can be to try to smoothen out the dialogue a bit; it's quite fine as it is, but I have difficulty forming the words in my mouth.

/is a weirdo who reads dialogue under her breath

By the way, I also spotted a few typos and grammatical errors here and there (all of them negligible, don't worry).

I'm really sticking to the fact that your Nyotalia girls scare me, one way or another. I still can't say why exactly, but they do.

Reply

trishpawachunyu November 4 2011, 14:41:20 UTC
... PaCho ( ... )

Reply


flog me for late comment. School sucks as usual and it's still sem break northwhitespecs November 7 2011, 11:03:02 UTC
I agree with PaCho, your writing style is to be admired very much.

I remember the very first post I put up here was one with a historical flair.... no, wait, that would be praising myself too much. I wrote something "historical" and pretty much bastardized it with my horrible writing yeah that's better and it didn't even come close to how intense this scene was. And it was set in a single location, with a single situation being shown. I could never achieve such blaring heat in my writing even if I tried.

And what's even more is that it's with the Nyotalia characters. Nyotalia.

I guess it's me too used to seeing the male nations that has rendered me to not take the female renditions seriously, but the way you write them is freaking amazing.

Gosh, I'm so jealous of you and PaCho and Ate for being able to write such blood-pumping stories (i get so into them sometimes XD OTL) /dives into the depths of the ocean

Reply

Re: flog me for late comment. School sucks as usual and it's still sem break trishpawachunyu November 8 2011, 16:56:27 UTC
ASDFGHJKL;LKJHGFDSAKJH NIKKI SUCH KIND WORDS LET ME LOVEEEEE YOUUUUU /huggleglomps

(uses coastguard boat to save you because she cannot swim)

This one was actually a distraction! Umm, yeah. I typed it out on my phone after yet another one of my uni's endless queues...so I'm glad that you liked it, and that you thought it worthy of such delicious comments!

Fluffy nyotalia fics are my favorites actually...but I decided to take a new spin on them and made them serious. So I look for serious, little-known politically charged events, and try to make them into fic. =w= Also..."blaring heat". Hmm. Never knew my writing had that.

(forgive the incoherence, dear, a certain song from a certain other fandom just broke my brain, i guess. >_>)

Reply


Leave a comment

Up