USUK - Sleeping in Class
anonymous
May 17 2011, 16:00:37 UTC
A Gakuen!AU request. Alfred, who has had a crush on Arthur for some time, catches the student council president sleeping in an important class. Since their relationship up until this point hasn't been all that great, Alfred makes a huge deal out of it and draws the attention both of other students and the teacher. Arthur gets in trouble and Alfred thinks it's hilarious until he hears some other students badmouthing Arthur. Then, he finds out somehow that something is very wrong (eg Arthur has found himself in some kind of bad situation, something bad is happening at home, etc, could be physical, psychological or emotional stress) and Arthur's nearly reached his limit. Cue angst and eventual fluff as Alfred begins to support him with whatever he needs.
BONUS: Arthur actually sleeps in multiple classes and Alfred gets him in trouble each time. Alfred doesn't see how bad things are until Arthur actually passes out.
Invisible Ink [1/?]
anonymous
May 29 2011, 17:45:20 UTC
Yeah. Fail!title is fail, buuuttt I hope you enjoy the writing. I don’t know if this is what you wanted buuttt~ First fill evaahhh~
In which sometimes, you have to be the one to notice the cracks in someone’s mask.Arthur wakes with a start when he feels a hand collide with the back of his head. Shooting up to a sitting position and looking around frantically, he becomes all too aware of the laughter directed at him from his classmates and the disapproving stare from the teacher in front of his desk. Blushing, he slides down into his seat, and the teacher places a slip of paper onto the wood in front of him
( ... )
You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to the rest of this, Author!Anon~ the beginning is excellent and is just what I was imagining. And the title is not fail! If anything, it intrigues me. I'm really enjoying the tone of your fill, and I can't wait til your next update! Thank you so much for filling this! You have my eternal, undying love <3
Re: Invisible Ink [1/?]
anonymous
May 30 2011, 04:11:35 UTC
An excellent start, a!anon.
One nitpick though, if I may:
[“You think this is funny, don’t you?” Alfred smiles.
“Undoubtedly!” Arthur growls and sidesteps the other.]
This makes it seem as if Alfred is asking about whether or not Arthur finds the situation funny, and Arthur is replying that he does. A lot of people seem to write like this, but it gets too confusing because you're having one character's words and another's actions both on the same line. It's better to write it so that any particular character's words and actions are paired up together. For example:
[ Arthur flushes a deep crimson as he puts the pieces together. “You think this is funny, don’t you?”
Alfred smiles. “Undoubtedly!”
Arthur growls and sidesteps the other. “You’re going to be late for class.”]
This way, it's very obvious as to who is speaking, and when. Please don't take offense to this, a!anon :) I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Other than that, I really like what you've written so far. Please write more soon!
Re: Invisible Ink [1/?]
anonymous
June 9 2011, 23:33:46 UTC
Author!Anon here~ Nawh, I wouldn't take something like that offensively. It's just an OCD thing of mine. I don't know why, but I don't like starting new paragraphs with narrative, I prefer using dialogue, but I can see how it'd be annoying. >.>
Life is a Beautiful Nightmare [1a/?]
anonymous
July 24 2011, 02:19:48 UTC
The beginning looks so much like the other fill, but I promise I'm not copying! Enjoy! Sleep sounded so appealing right now... To close his eyes, forget his life and screw everything around him in favour of deep, magical sleep... His eyelids had already drooped at the mere thought. Darkness invaded his vision as blissful respite was given to his brain. Just as he started making himself comfortable, though, a heavy textbook suddenly smashed in front of him, jolting him awake with a loud cry of surprise
( ... )
Life is a Beautiful Nightmare [1b/?]
anonymous
July 24 2011, 02:22:52 UTC
Math was probably the subject Arthur despised most. Not just because the teacher seemed to be stuck on that boring tone of hers, but also because said boring tone was used to explain numbers, equations and graphs, things Arthur had never been fond of. So many symbols, and rules, and exceptions, and god, Arthur just wanted to be an author, not an astronaut
( ... )
Wow, a second fill!!! You have no idea how grateful I am for this. I really love the start of this, it flows really nicely and I love the little details like trying to finish council work in class and using concealer to cover bags under his eyes. I really like how you're using all these little things to wear him down, it makes it more realistic to me :)
I can't wait until the next chapter! Thank you so much for writing this!!!
BONUS:
Arthur actually sleeps in multiple classes and Alfred gets him in trouble each time.
Alfred doesn't see how bad things are until Arthur actually passes out.
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In which sometimes, you have to be the one to notice the cracks in someone’s mask.Arthur wakes with a start when he feels a hand collide with the back of his head. Shooting up to a sitting position and looking around frantically, he becomes all too aware of the laughter directed at him from his classmates and the disapproving stare from the teacher in front of his desk. Blushing, he slides down into his seat, and the teacher places a slip of paper onto the wood in front of him ( ... )
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You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to the rest of this, Author!Anon~ the beginning is excellent and is just what I was imagining. And the title is not fail! If anything, it intrigues me. I'm really enjoying the tone of your fill, and I can't wait til your next update! Thank you so much for filling this! You have my eternal, undying love <3
Reply
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One nitpick though, if I may:
[“You think this is funny, don’t you?” Alfred smiles.
“Undoubtedly!” Arthur growls and sidesteps the other.]
This makes it seem as if Alfred is asking about whether or not Arthur finds the situation funny, and Arthur is replying that he does. A lot of people seem to write like this, but it gets too confusing because you're having one character's words and another's actions both on the same line. It's better to write it so that any particular character's words and actions are paired up together. For example:
[ Arthur flushes a deep crimson as he puts the pieces together. “You think this is funny, don’t you?”
Alfred smiles. “Undoubtedly!”
Arthur growls and sidesteps the other. “You’re going to be late for class.”]
This way, it's very obvious as to who is speaking, and when. Please don't take offense to this, a!anon :) I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Other than that, I really like what you've written so far. Please write more soon!
Reply
I see others write like that, too, and to be honest? It drives me up a wall. :I
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It's just an OCD thing of mine. I don't know why, but I don't like starting new paragraphs with narrative, I prefer using dialogue, but I can see how it'd be annoying. >.>
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I hope you don't mind another fill >__>" This idea really appeals to me and I'd like to write it too~
Then again, this would be extremelynervous!anon's very first fill, so she'd like to keep it short. Maybe around 10 parts or so...
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I can't wait until the next chapter! Thank you so much for writing this!!!
Much love, from OP <3
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