Prussia/germany -- aphrodisiac sex
anonymous
March 26 2011, 08:22:12 UTC
Prussia receives a box of chocolates in the mail. Thinking germany sent them, he happily chows down. Germany comes home and sees the box of chocolates. Thinking prussia bought them, he decides to sample a few. They don't know the chocolates have been drugged with an aphrodisiac.
I would like to see them go through the stages and noticing how hot the other is getting. Like hypersensitivity, heavy breathing, etc. And finally they lunge at each other.
Bonus: The chocolates are used at some point during their session Bonus: The chocolates were NOT sent by Japan or Hungary
Re: Hot chocolate 4b/?
anonymous
April 17 2011, 22:57:31 UTC
“Almost done...” the silverette whispered, his fingers lingering down to the scratch on the blond’s thigh. The Prussian spread some of the cool liquid over the wound, sending a stinging--yet pleasuring--sensation through the blond, making him moan out
( ... )
Re: Hot chocolate 4c/?
anonymous
April 17 2011, 23:01:59 UTC
“G-Gott...” the Prussian huffed out in between pants, the lukewarm water beating down on the two.
“That was...” Germany trailed off, hoisting himself to lean against the cool tile. “That was, admittedly, amazing...”
The older German pulled himself up, switching off the water. “I think... we should go another round...” he smirked ,”If you can, that is”.
Yo, guys! Hope you enjoyed this installment! And don't worry my dear anons, there will be much more smut to come! *laughs maniacally* Written with my best friend~
They were probably just turned off by the word? Every time I see it I either cringe or start laughing hysterically and then have to stop reading the story, so maybe that's why the review was short? Because they couldn't finish?
Another!anon (does that make me Diff!diff?)
anonymous
April 18 2011, 02:49:49 UTC
Definitely a "turn off" for me, too. Silverette is a product for breast-feeding women, not a term for a human being. The mental image is horribly gross. ;_;
Pfft, yeah. >_< Using that term for a person is pretty gross. I was just afraid to say anything because I was afraid you'd react like you did to that person (or worse), and I didn't wanna get yelled at.
I can barely read stories with inappropriate words like that suddenly thrown in. Especially if it's smut! I kept checking back when you update hoping somebody would say something and you'd maybe find a word that didn't have freaky connotations. I guess not?
Sorry but I thought I should say something since it's not just me. Sorry. T_T
Um. Replying to my own to comment to say I was not trying to flame, just in case. It's really hard to tell when someone is giving serious concrit on this meme sometimes, so just clarifying that I think your story would really benefit the exclusion of the word. You don't even have to think of a new term, since "overuse of epithets" is such a huge complaint on this meme. Just using names and pronouns works far better most of the time. :) Not just in my experience, either. There's been tons of agreement about that on the first two discussion posts, just like there's tons of agreement that using the word "cock" is much better than "throbbing manhood" or whatever.
Please just take it as concrit and not as a flame. m(_ _)m
Canada, is that you?
anonymous
April 18 2011, 03:30:43 UTC
Because if you're not a polite Canadian stereotype, that's a lot of apologizing for someone's who's not flaming or trolling.
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This story is both cool and hot, A!A. If you know what I mean! ;D I think people are commenting because they like what they see and think it's worth the investment of giving you their two cents. After all, they wouldn't take the time to say something if they didn't think your story was well worth their time. So don't be discouraged at all, A!A. Real concrit is a compliment.
I really apologize for offending so many people. Please, anon's, forgive me. I really am sorry. I get what you're saying. I'm not a good writer. Nevertheless I will continue to write this fill with my co-writer. So thank you for your critique.
Nobody said any of that, you know. We just said that using that one word gave us a really gross mental picture, and that you might not know that. No need to get like that about it. O.o
Re: A!Anon
anonymous
September 2 2011, 21:48:08 UTC
Anon's not being "passive-aggressive", Anon's just trying to put up installments here and trying to please everyone the best Anon can. If you're gonna just act up like this, I recommend you don't do it publicly; you've made Anon feel terrible.
How do I know?
I'm the second person who helps with these installments.
Re: A!Anon
anonymous
September 2 2011, 22:00:45 UTC
Actually, putting words into other people's mouths and (apparently!) deliberately misinterpreting other people's words and emotions in order to portray yourself as the victim is pretty classic passive-aggressive behavior. And criticizing yourself in order to receive pity and attention, as well as to divert attention from the real problem, is definitely classic.
Anon doesn't need to feel terrible; s/he just needs to change an unfortunate choice of word if she so chooses, assuming anon doesn't like the images it has conjured up in her readers. It's about the word choice, not the author. Taking criticism of a word choice as a personal attack is genuinely passive-aggressive and unhealthy. :(
More importantly, though: Why start this up again?
Re: A!Anon
anonymous
September 2 2011, 22:06:58 UTC
Oh yeah, and: Silverette! Forgot to respond to that part. LOL
Seriously, though, people are objecting to the term only in context because it takes away from a perfectly good story. It's really not a pet peeve thing; it's more like finding a fly floating in a bowl of soup you were enjoying. It's a shame for that to happen to a perfectly good story. I hope anon understand that if that's the only complaint people have about her story, that means her story is really good, and people are taking the time to nitpick because they see her story has the opportunity to become even better. People don't waste their time criticizing crappy stories that can't be saved; they just expect a desire to improve in good writers. If you do know her/him in real life (or on LJ or whatever!), please point that out. Seriously, anon deserves to know that if they never realized that before.
Germany comes home and sees the box of chocolates. Thinking prussia bought them, he decides to sample a few.
They don't know the chocolates have been drugged with an aphrodisiac.
I would like to see them go through the stages and noticing how hot the other is getting.
Like hypersensitivity, heavy breathing, etc. And finally they lunge at each other.
Bonus: The chocolates are used at some point during their session
Bonus: The chocolates were NOT sent by Japan or Hungary
Reply
Reply
“That was...” Germany trailed off, hoisting himself to lean against the cool tile. “That was, admittedly, amazing...”
The older German pulled himself up, switching off the water. “I think... we should go another round...” he smirked ,”If you can, that is”.
Yo, guys! Hope you enjoyed this installment! And don't worry my dear anons, there will be much more smut to come! *laughs maniacally* Written with my best friend~
Reply
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Safe for work: http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/silverette.html
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I can barely read stories with inappropriate words like that suddenly thrown in. Especially if it's smut! I kept checking back when you update hoping somebody would say something and you'd maybe find a word that didn't have freaky connotations. I guess not?
Sorry but I thought I should say something since it's not just me. Sorry. T_T
Reply
Please just take it as concrit and not as a flame. m(_ _)m
Reply
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This story is both cool and hot, A!A. If you know what I mean! ;D I think people are commenting because they like what they see and think it's worth the investment of giving you their two cents. After all, they wouldn't take the time to say something if they didn't think your story was well worth their time. So don't be discouraged at all, A!A. Real concrit is a compliment.
Reply
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How do I know?
I'm the second person who helps with these installments.
... Silverette.
Reply
Anon doesn't need to feel terrible; s/he just needs to change an unfortunate choice of word if she so chooses, assuming anon doesn't like the images it has conjured up in her readers. It's about the word choice, not the author. Taking criticism of a word choice as a personal attack is genuinely passive-aggressive and unhealthy. :(
More importantly, though: Why start this up again?
Reply
Seriously, though, people are objecting to the term only in context because it takes away from a perfectly good story. It's really not a pet peeve thing; it's more like finding a fly floating in a bowl of soup you were enjoying. It's a shame for that to happen to a perfectly good story. I hope anon understand that if that's the only complaint people have about her story, that means her story is really good, and people are taking the time to nitpick because they see her story has the opportunity to become even better. People don't waste their time criticizing crappy stories that can't be saved; they just expect a desire to improve in good writers. If you do know her/him in real life (or on LJ or whatever!), please point that out. Seriously, anon deserves to know that if they never realized that before.
Reply
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