day 1 - preface
Preface.
I’d never thought much about the concept of love - it always seemed like a distant thing to me. Something I put into the category of ‘to do later’. I imagined that one day, when I was successful and ready, I’d meet a nice man and we’d settle down and start a family; all in the right time and all smooth sailing.
I never imagined falling in love now; I never thought it would even be possible for me. Boys (men?) didn’t look at me in that way - I was either so low on the scale that I didn’t register or I was a ‘really good friend’. I told myself that I didn’t care, that I was fine on my own, but I knew it was a lie. It was a lie the moment I saw him - he was the one I would make an exception for.
But I was basically invisible to him in reality, so love was always just dancing out of my reach. Or until I saw him. The second time I ever fell in love. And this time, love felt like a possibility - it felt like a reality for me.
I’d never thought much about the concept of love - it always seemed like a distant thing to me. Something I put into the category of ‘to do later’. I imagined that one day, when I was successful and ready, I’d meet a nice man and we’d settle down and start a family; all in the right time and all smooth sailing.
I never imagined falling in love now; I never thought it would even be possible for me. Boys (men?) didn’t look at me in that way - I was either so low on the scale that I didn’t register or I was a ‘really good friend’. I told myself that I didn’t care, that I was fine on my own, but I knew it was a lie. It was a lie the moment I saw him - he was the one I would make an exception for.
But I was basically invisible to him in reality, so love was always just dancing out of my reach. Or until I saw him. The second time I ever fell in love. And this time, love felt like a possibility - it felt like a reality for me.