You speak of "using the weight of my talent to write a ceremony that's true," which makes this not "a simple gift." You obviously put a lot of thought into this.
If and when I decide to have a ceremony, I need to remember that you officiate. Who else could I trust to craft vows that would fit me and the commitment I'm intending to make?
I hope you know this couple pretty well. Given all of the above, I can't really imagine you writing something that is both generic and true. It just seems wrong - an injustice to yourself, to the couple, and to marriage as an "institution."
I suppose that I mean that it's a gift that's an easy choice, an "of course" thing--which it was for Sarah's, and Nicole's, and Nacho's weddings. I love them, a lot, and they asked (actually, for Sarah's I think I kind of jumped the gun as soon as she told me about the engagement and went into "OMG, what do you want me to do? How can I help? Should I become a minister for you? I love you so much!" mode before she even got the chance to ask me...).
For your wedding ceremony, I would be honored to officiate, and yes, that's a simple gift.
I've known the couple for a few years now, and the bride is the best friend of one of my dear friends, and they're good together, which is why I can do this for them. I don't love them, but I am fond of them, and they'll be in my life for the rest of it--like, I know I'll hear about how they're doing, and if/when the kids come along, and I'll continue to go to their parties; through our mutual dear friend, we're minor movements in each other's life symphonies, and that also let me do this for them
( ... )
I have this whole thing about marriage. Which is I think it is really wonderful when people decide to get married, that they want to stay together forever, etc. I get teary eyed and want to give everyone hugs. Marriage as a commitment is important to me
( ... )
I'm with you. Ideally, for me, marriage is a private thing that the state doesn't get involved with, that doesn't come along with all these privileges and special treatments. But, like you said, that's never going to happen, so I want marriage equality, with those benefits open to anyone who wants them.
I really like the idea of Quaker ceremonies (I've not been to one, sadly). Part of the "simple gift" metaphor I use above is meant to echo the Quaker hymn, "Simple Gifts." I like to believe that marriage can be a way for things to "come round right."
A huge part of my personal experience with the transcendent is in the act of witnessing. Being present, that I am there and can later attest to the truth of a thing... that's part of how I try live my life, and a large part of why I write. It's how I try to act upon my vocation, since I know my calling isn't strong enough to minister, to join the rabbinate and do that work. But witnessing... that feels rightWhich is all to say: I understand what you mean
( ... )
Comments 22
You are an amazing person, and I am lucky to know you.
Reply
I'm just muddling through, but I'm glad of you in my life, too.
Reply
If and when I decide to have a ceremony, I need to remember that you officiate. Who else could I trust to craft vows that would fit me and the commitment I'm intending to make?
I hope you know this couple pretty well. Given all of the above, I can't really imagine you writing something that is both generic and true. It just seems wrong - an injustice to yourself, to the couple, and to marriage as an "institution."
Reply
For your wedding ceremony, I would be honored to officiate, and yes, that's a simple gift.
I've known the couple for a few years now, and the bride is the best friend of one of my dear friends, and they're good together, which is why I can do this for them. I don't love them, but I am fond of them, and they'll be in my life for the rest of it--like, I know I'll hear about how they're doing, and if/when the kids come along, and I'll continue to go to their parties; through our mutual dear friend, we're minor movements in each other's life symphonies, and that also let me do this for them ( ... )
Reply
Reply
I'm with you. Ideally, for me, marriage is a private thing that the state doesn't get involved with, that doesn't come along with all these privileges and special treatments. But, like you said, that's never going to happen, so I want marriage equality, with those benefits open to anyone who wants them.
I really like the idea of Quaker ceremonies (I've not been to one, sadly). Part of the "simple gift" metaphor I use above is meant to echo the Quaker hymn, "Simple Gifts." I like to believe that marriage can be a way for things to "come round right."
A huge part of my personal experience with the transcendent is in the act of witnessing. Being present, that I am there and can later attest to the truth of a thing... that's part of how I try live my life, and a large part of why I write. It's how I try to act upon my vocation, since I know my calling isn't strong enough to minister, to join the rabbinate and do that work. But witnessing... that feels rightWhich is all to say: I understand what you mean ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment