Order & Chaos
Title: Order & Chaos
Fandom: ER
Rating: G
Word Count: 1129
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Ray Barnett, Neela Rasgotra, mentions of Greg Pratt, Abby Lockhart and Michael Gallant; pre-Neela/Gallant
Continuity: Set sometime during Here and There, probably, but definitely before Back in the World.
Summary: Ray and Neela are stuck with each other. They never wanted it. But even the unlikeliest of people can form routines and bonds. This moment is one of theirs.
Disclaimer: Characters mentioned are used without permission and are trademarks of NBC/whoever else owns the rights to ER. I do not own them and am simply borrowing for my purposes. Please don't sue.
(pimped to neela_ray )
"We live in a chaotic universe," he's prone to telling her, smirk playing on his lips in the exact way he knows drives her crazy. He's always gotten a kick out of watching her scowl. Besides, it's all the response he has to her constant complaints about his band mates, his lady guests, his appearance, him-- period. "Just accept it, Neela. You'll be much happier if you do." Then his smirk would grow even wider. "Less stressed, uptight, you."
"Even our universe has order behind it," she responds in a calm, logical voice that she knows annoys him. But she doesn't get angry-- that never works. This is the only way she's ever been able to argue with him, unreasonable being that he is. "Just accept it Ray. You'll be so much happier if you do." The corners of her mouth would curve up as she raises her eyebrows pointedly. "Less irresponsible, immature, you."
They stand there, facing each other with near identical glares, neither willing to concede even the slightest agreement to the other. Until finally Ray throws his hands up with (or makes some other sign of) frustrated defeat before turning away and heading for the kitchen. Neela watches him go, scowling and muttering under her breath about insufferable roommates and shift-swapping and stupid opposite schedules that never work out right. Then she sighs and follows him.
It's their way-- how they cope. They're two people with incredibly different personalities and very little in common. Not quite polar opposites but near enough for Abby to scoff at Neela and tell her she's a nutter for even trying to live with him, while Pratt laughs at Ray for a full minute before telling him he must be completely insane if he thinks he can cope with anal Neela twenty-four/seven. Close enough that they truly try to schedule their shifts so they'll never see each other.
Naturally, that plan fails in about week and a half. Ray and his band that never leaves have a gig, so he swaps shifts with Morris. Next Neela pulls a double shift when Abby gets the flu. It's not long before their face time increases exponentially. "There's always something," she grumbles one day. He nods (because it's true) and they sigh in unison. Soon, though, Ray starts laughing and Neela joins in. Because, for better or for worse (and isn't that ironic in and of itself?), this is their life now and they have to deal with it. Simple as that.
Sometimes they surprise each other, which helps. More often than not, though, they end up in their remarkably clean kitchen (remarkable because the rest of the apartment goes through phases of cleanliness depending on scheduling and things of that nature) and share a pot of coffee. It helps them ignore whatever they've been arguing about that day and unwind with a round of County General gossip. (It's one of the few things they do have in common, after all.)
But today's different. Somehow today the subject of significant others has come up. Neela has never felt particularly comfortable or inclined to discuss Michael with anyone (except perhaps Abby) but, for whatever reason, she feels especially uncomfortable speaking about him with Ray. And Ray, well, he hardly ever bothers to call a girl again, let alone label her a girlfriend or significant other. He's noticed he's especially hesitant with Neela, though. Both shrug it off, deciding it's probably a product of living together.
"I just don't know if I can call Michael my boyfriend," she's explaining before she even realizes the word are out her mouth. "I mean, we care for each other and we kissed once but what if there's nothing there when he comes back? What if I'm fooling myself into building him up into this amazing guy and he's really not that guy?" She squints at Ray, as if trying to really see him, then shakes her head. "Oh, never mind. I don't even know why I'm discussing this with you."
"Because you've got no one else," he supplies easily. She scrunches her face in irritation and throws a cracker at his head. "Hey! You're just pissed 'cause I speak the truth. Anyway, I get what you're saying." He ignores her when she rolls her eyes. "I do!" Okay, maybe he's a tiny bit defensive. "Look, listen for a sec, okay? You have to ask yourself something: is it worth waiting to find out? If the answer's yes, then it doesn't matter if he's your boyfriend or not. And if the answer's no, then the problem's moot."
She blinks at him twice, shaking her head a little. "Wow, Ray, that was..." she pauses, smiling faintly, "actually really helpful. Thank you." She looks a bit confused as she says it, like she can't quite believe those words are coming out of her mouth. Then she shrugs it off because it really doesn't require any more reflection. This will easily be written off as one of those uncommon but very welcome surprise moments they occasionally share. Yeah.
"Yeah, well," he shrugs, grinning wryly at her, "gotta get lucky every once in a while, right?" He wags his eyebrows and she laughs again, nodding. If it were just about anybody else, he would've called the laugh a giggle. But, somehow, giggling seems wrong for Neela. He still remembers the way she put him in his place like no one had ever before, tiny but full of spirit and anger. A woman like that does not giggle. No, it's definitely some kind of light laugh or small chuckle. Whatever.
Her eyes stay on him for a long moment, watching Ray's gaze drop to his coffee cup thoughtfully. She meant what she said to him and it still surprises her a little. Not that he made a good point-- because he can do that, she knows it from experience-- but that she appreciates it. Things are rarely that simple between them. Because he's so different-- different from Michael, different from her. Maybe that's what she needs, though. Living with him, painful as it can be, balances her out in a weird and unexpected way. (Life, go figure.)
She finally looks away and a comfortable silence falls between them, each lost in thought. It doesn't last too long, though, as Ray's never been one for too much introspection. He finishes his coffee, then heads straight for his guitar and amp. Neela groans, taking her own half-finished drink and heading for her sanctuary as she mentally runs through the places she might have left her earplugs. Catching her eye as she crosses the living room, Ray flashes her a grin. Without a thought, she returns it.
Order and chaos; Neela and Ray. Roommates, maybe even friends sometimes. Yeah, go figure.