the age of not-believing

[helenmelon]

i'm having another of those weird moments where i feel older than i ever have at the same time as feeling like i'm in high school again.

Comments

[ludimagist]

i feel old because i was reminded at work this morning that i'm to that age at which many people get married.

That may in part be a geography thing. I think people marry later when you get to more densely populated areas.

[helenmelon]

good call. in this area, it's pretty much within the first few years after high school. ack. another reason for me to move and move soon.

[shalilajupiter]

I think I'm a bit younger than you, and lots of people my age are already getting married, but not to the point that people assume that I'm in the marrying range as well. I understand what you're saying though. A lot of people that I graduated high school with are getting married or are married or are having children. In fact I was overcome with the oddest feeling when I said to one of my roommates that I should take a trip to visit my friend because I haven't seen her baby yet

[helenmelon]

my brother got married at my age too:) in fact, he'd been married almost a year by now, i think. but i knew i was falling behind his life schedule when i wasn't engaged a couple years ago.

i don't know if i'll eventually get married. the idea is appealing, but i know a marriage takes a lot of work too, and maybe i'm not ready for all that work yet:) but i'm pretty picky about who i date even, so i'm not too worried about marrying some guy just to be married. you know? and sometimes i see what people are saying when they tell me i'm lucky for not having any strings yet. i don't have anyone to plan around but me, which is great when you actually have plans:)

but if i had someone in my life like you do, maybe planning around him wouldn't seem so much like a sacrifice:)

[ilubmoney]

If moving to another environment would delay your assumed singlehood, then by the time you actually moved out, people in the new environment might still assume you're not single anymore. :P (It sounded a lot better in my head, I swear.)

It's difficult to gauge what makes a happy relationship. My godbrother told me yesterday that he and his ex broke up 7 months ago because "we were bored of each other." I thought they were perfect for each other, especially since they were together for so long... but I guess that's a valid reason as any why anyone would break up. You can have all the right conditions and lack the chemistry. Maybe I should have put "Chemistry" in my non-negotiable box.

Wow. Six months ago, I would have put "The guy must not want any kids, ever" in the non-negotiable box.

[helenmelon]

i understand what you're saying about by the time i move, i'll be too old to be assumed single there either:)

i tried to think of an option besides been in a happy relationship or not, but i couldn't think of one:) sometimes they're happy while you're in them, not so much once you're out. again, relationships are just so incredibly complex, i never know how even to approach thinking objectively about them. i get so frustrated by things that logic has so little say in:) i'm so sick of being attracted to guys who are wrong for me, and not attracted to guys who seem perfect for me.

[equivoke]

Hey, I'm a sociology student!

[helenmelon]

i know! i so wanna be you, with your cool english classes, latin knowledge, and soc major... maybe i could make better polls then...

[equivoke]

Doesn't help me any :*(

[mrstroppy]

I'm 29, and pretty much none of my friends are married. So there you go. Besides, who gives a shit? I've been in a relationship for 6 years, still no desire for marriage.

PS: can my cookie be chocolate chip? And probably packaged really well to survive the trip to New Zealand. Cheers, H.

[helenmelon]

yeah, actually none of my really close friends are married either, or even dating, which is nice. a lot of my guy friends are getting married this summer for some reason, but my girl friends remain single.

when i was asked today if i have kids, i think i might have snorted:) no! i exclaimed. i'm too young yet. i have things to do.

i'll look into the cookie situation:)

[mrstroppy]

Yeah, hell, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have kids until you're settled, particularly career-wise. And that sure as hell ain't me, so I'm with you. We could start a no-kids club!

a lot of my guy friends are getting married this summer for some reason, but my girl friends remain single.

Yay for gay marriages! Great to see.

[helenmelon]

hahaha... i guess i haven't met most of the people my guy friends are marrying. i'll have to wait till the invites come to see if i have to go to san francisco or not...