big lube eyes!
This article about eyeballs popping out is the stuff of nightmares. I had to stop reading when it started discussing the various ways one's eyeball might pop out from normal daily activity like sneezing, or sitting around thinking "Oh my god, your freakin' EYEBALL CAN POP OUT?"
Last night, for the first time, I realized that blue is an anagram of lube. I give you one guess as to whose eyes [this is apparently an eye-themed entry] I was talking about when I made this exciting discovery. In other news, lube eyes? Not quite the sexy effect I was going for.
So I've spent the last few days in intensive conference with linabean about sexual practices on Sateda. Important topics of discussion include:
1. Is Ronon a virgin?
1a. Is there in fact some freaky coming-of-age sex ritual he was supposed to complete but didn't, due to becoming a runner?
1b. Upon delicate and nervous inquiries about this ritual, might Elizabeth not assume it was some kind of memorial my-whole-planet-died ritual and volunteer Rodney and John to help?
1c. Would this not result in a hot threesome which would then leave Ronon free to pursue his one true love (consensus: Zelenka) while Rodney and John avoided each other with purpose before finally admitting they loved each other?
Digression: What if Rodney's a virgin [evidence: his complete inability to deal with women.] and Ronon has a serious discussion with Sheppard about Rodney's flower, and what they're going to do about it?
2. Hey, what if almost no one has blue eyes on Ronon's planet and people who do are considered beautiful and unattainable and maybe a little ditzy [and work primarily as trophy-spouses and movie stars,] so Ronon thinks it's cute that Rodney works so hard at science, and tends to get a little glazed and shy around Rodney and Zelenka, mostly from wondering if they make out.
Finally--this plot influenced by current events!--maybe after a month or so on Atlantis, Ronon mentions to Sheppard that NO one is pregnant. This plot supposes that on planets in the Pegasus Galaxy, especially technologically advanced planets with large permanent armies which suffer major losses every fifty years--specifically, Sateda, keeping the population up would be a major, ongoing problem, and government infrastructure and social mores would encourage women to have as many babies as possible. Young men (especially those with major physical or intellectual abilities) would be expected to try to impregnate as many people as possible. Ronon probably doesn't quite get the concept of date rape and dutifully says he'd be honored when women on Atlantis proposition him. He probably also doesn't know about contraception.
And, of course, he thinks the Atlanteans are really open and permissive about homosexual relationships and other obviously non-procreative relationships. Like, there are a LOT (4) of gay people and they don't get assaulted or sent out on the dirtiest, worst, sure-death missions. Ronon thinks that's nice, but weird. And, you know, confusing.
So, you know, clearly Ronon has always struggled with strange, disgusting, filthy urges, which are made much worse by seeing Sheppard take his shirt off, or that time Rodney's fingers brushed his arm while he was reaching for the bread, and he thinks that Rodney McKay is a gross sexual deviant who is probably fucking Zelenka all day in his lab (he thinks about this a lot) and also, what if Rodney McKay went crazy and assaulted him, or, um, they were both on drugs so--or, or Sheppard told him he had to have sex with Rodney or else they'd kill him [like they KILL BABIES, because Ronon's probably found out about abortion by now] or, or, RONON was drugged and weak so he couldn't fight him off and Rodney DID stuff to him and touched him and maybe (horrors) kissed him and that would be a really terrible, awful, unnatural thing to have happen, so Ronon never ever thinks about it at all, and certainly not when he's lying alone in bed after yet another dutiful and unsatisfying sexual encounter.
Also, Ronon probably thinks his horrible urges are the reason the wraith can't feed on him. And? Perhaps they are. You think I won't write a story where the wraith can't feed on anyone above a Kinsey 3, and, well, you're right, but just think about the scene where Rodney [probably while being held down by a couple wraith guards, bleeding from a gash in his forehead, weak from lack of food, frightened] says "I fucking knew it! I KNEW it. 'You just don't have those feelings.' my ASS. HAH!" while John grits his teeth and looks like he'd really rather just be life-sucked right now.
Hey! I now realize this is a perfect segue into this kickass new story by crimsonclad, in which I can promise you that Ronon's virginity is not discussed and Rodney doesn't even once say "HAH!" Also features the character I miss the most and not just because I find him hot: Bates.
Last night, for the first time, I realized that blue is an anagram of lube. I give you one guess as to whose eyes [this is apparently an eye-themed entry] I was talking about when I made this exciting discovery. In other news, lube eyes? Not quite the sexy effect I was going for.
So I've spent the last few days in intensive conference with linabean about sexual practices on Sateda. Important topics of discussion include:
1. Is Ronon a virgin?
1a. Is there in fact some freaky coming-of-age sex ritual he was supposed to complete but didn't, due to becoming a runner?
1b. Upon delicate and nervous inquiries about this ritual, might Elizabeth not assume it was some kind of memorial my-whole-planet-died ritual and volunteer Rodney and John to help?
1c. Would this not result in a hot threesome which would then leave Ronon free to pursue his one true love (consensus: Zelenka) while Rodney and John avoided each other with purpose before finally admitting they loved each other?
Digression: What if Rodney's a virgin [evidence: his complete inability to deal with women.] and Ronon has a serious discussion with Sheppard about Rodney's flower, and what they're going to do about it?
2. Hey, what if almost no one has blue eyes on Ronon's planet and people who do are considered beautiful and unattainable and maybe a little ditzy [and work primarily as trophy-spouses and movie stars,] so Ronon thinks it's cute that Rodney works so hard at science, and tends to get a little glazed and shy around Rodney and Zelenka, mostly from wondering if they make out.
Finally--this plot influenced by current events!--maybe after a month or so on Atlantis, Ronon mentions to Sheppard that NO one is pregnant. This plot supposes that on planets in the Pegasus Galaxy, especially technologically advanced planets with large permanent armies which suffer major losses every fifty years--specifically, Sateda, keeping the population up would be a major, ongoing problem, and government infrastructure and social mores would encourage women to have as many babies as possible. Young men (especially those with major physical or intellectual abilities) would be expected to try to impregnate as many people as possible. Ronon probably doesn't quite get the concept of date rape and dutifully says he'd be honored when women on Atlantis proposition him. He probably also doesn't know about contraception.
And, of course, he thinks the Atlanteans are really open and permissive about homosexual relationships and other obviously non-procreative relationships. Like, there are a LOT (4) of gay people and they don't get assaulted or sent out on the dirtiest, worst, sure-death missions. Ronon thinks that's nice, but weird. And, you know, confusing.
So, you know, clearly Ronon has always struggled with strange, disgusting, filthy urges, which are made much worse by seeing Sheppard take his shirt off, or that time Rodney's fingers brushed his arm while he was reaching for the bread, and he thinks that Rodney McKay is a gross sexual deviant who is probably fucking Zelenka all day in his lab (he thinks about this a lot) and also, what if Rodney McKay went crazy and assaulted him, or, um, they were both on drugs so--or, or Sheppard told him he had to have sex with Rodney or else they'd kill him [like they KILL BABIES, because Ronon's probably found out about abortion by now] or, or, RONON was drugged and weak so he couldn't fight him off and Rodney DID stuff to him and touched him and maybe (horrors) kissed him and that would be a really terrible, awful, unnatural thing to have happen, so Ronon never ever thinks about it at all, and certainly not when he's lying alone in bed after yet another dutiful and unsatisfying sexual encounter.
Also, Ronon probably thinks his horrible urges are the reason the wraith can't feed on him. And? Perhaps they are. You think I won't write a story where the wraith can't feed on anyone above a Kinsey 3, and, well, you're right, but just think about the scene where Rodney [probably while being held down by a couple wraith guards, bleeding from a gash in his forehead, weak from lack of food, frightened] says "I fucking knew it! I KNEW it. 'You just don't have those feelings.' my ASS. HAH!" while John grits his teeth and looks like he'd really rather just be life-sucked right now.
Hey! I now realize this is a perfect segue into this kickass new story by crimsonclad, in which I can promise you that Ronon's virginity is not discussed and Rodney doesn't even once say "HAH!" Also features the character I miss the most and not just because I find him hot: Bates.