Sandwiches
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Name: Sandwiches
Pairing: Kankurou/male character
Genre: Humor
Summary: Kankurou has sex on counters, and Temari lectures Gaara on hygiene.
“Gaara, there’s a pubic hair in my sandwich.”
Gaara paused mid-bite to look at the hair that Temari was dangling in front of his face. “...It’s not mine.”
She rolled her eyes and slammed her hands on the table. “Of course it’s not yours.” With great ceremony, and as much stomping as humanly possible, she carried her sandwich to the garbage can and disposed of it. “You don’t keep having sex with your boyfriend on the kitchen counter!”
Gaara considered responding to this, chose instead to merely raise an eyebrow, and went back to eating.
Temari blanched. “You’re going to keep eating that? What if there’s more hair in it? Or... or… fluids?!” She tried to swipe the sandwich from Gaara’s hands, but he evaded her. “Gaara! Give me that! You could catch something!”
“I’m hungry. And I don’t want to make another sandwich.”
She groaned, and tried again to seize the sandwich. “Honestly, Gaara! I’ll make you another one! Just give me that thing!”
He gave in, and watched in silence as she disposed of the offending food, and began to assemble two new sandwiches on the (hopefully) clean table. “Really Gaara,” she grumbled as she spread the butter, “you have to take better care of your health. Your Ultimate Defense won’t save you from food poisoning or STDs or something. Did you want tomato?” Gaara blinked, slightly thrown by the change in conversation, then nodded. “Listen to your older sister here, okay? You can’t go eating something like that just because you’re too lazy to make something else.” She put the new sandwich down on the plate in front of him. “You’re old enough now to know better than that! Honestly, boys are so… unhygenic!”
Gaara considered this as he chewed. When he finished, he put his plate in the sink and turned to Temari. Then, with something that might have been the tiniest of smiles, he said, “But at least I don’t have sex on the kitchen counter.”
As he walked out of the room, he could hear Temari choking on her sandwich behind him.
Rating: PG-13
Name: Sandwiches
Pairing: Kankurou/male character
Genre: Humor
Summary: Kankurou has sex on counters, and Temari lectures Gaara on hygiene.
“Gaara, there’s a pubic hair in my sandwich.”
Gaara paused mid-bite to look at the hair that Temari was dangling in front of his face. “...It’s not mine.”
She rolled her eyes and slammed her hands on the table. “Of course it’s not yours.” With great ceremony, and as much stomping as humanly possible, she carried her sandwich to the garbage can and disposed of it. “You don’t keep having sex with your boyfriend on the kitchen counter!”
Gaara considered responding to this, chose instead to merely raise an eyebrow, and went back to eating.
Temari blanched. “You’re going to keep eating that? What if there’s more hair in it? Or... or… fluids?!” She tried to swipe the sandwich from Gaara’s hands, but he evaded her. “Gaara! Give me that! You could catch something!”
“I’m hungry. And I don’t want to make another sandwich.”
She groaned, and tried again to seize the sandwich. “Honestly, Gaara! I’ll make you another one! Just give me that thing!”
He gave in, and watched in silence as she disposed of the offending food, and began to assemble two new sandwiches on the (hopefully) clean table. “Really Gaara,” she grumbled as she spread the butter, “you have to take better care of your health. Your Ultimate Defense won’t save you from food poisoning or STDs or something. Did you want tomato?” Gaara blinked, slightly thrown by the change in conversation, then nodded. “Listen to your older sister here, okay? You can’t go eating something like that just because you’re too lazy to make something else.” She put the new sandwich down on the plate in front of him. “You’re old enough now to know better than that! Honestly, boys are so… unhygenic!”
Gaara considered this as he chewed. When he finished, he put his plate in the sink and turned to Temari. Then, with something that might have been the tiniest of smiles, he said, “But at least I don’t have sex on the kitchen counter.”
As he walked out of the room, he could hear Temari choking on her sandwich behind him.