Hope 15/?
Title: Hope 15/?
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
Genre: Angst, romance, !Realistic AU
Rating & Warning: R/NC-17 - sexual situations, violence - psychological and physical torture -
FOR THIS CHAPTER: R (Adult situations, Violence,)
Summary: Cho Kyuhyun and Kim Ryeowook try their best to survive in a totalitarian state (DPRK) surrounded by famine, fear and death, all the while gracing their short lives with the precious moments of pure love that they get to share together.
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior members - sighs - and have no rights over them, nor do I have any connections with their management. This is a work of fiction.
A/N.: So here it is. I know, this one also took a while before I could put it together - but in all fairness, the following chapters of the story are drawing it to a close, and I am working really hard at striking a balance between giving you an ending that will leave you satisfied with the story and staying as true to the facts as I possibly can.
Much like the previous chapter was, this one is self-explanatory, so no footnotes are needed here.
And, of course, thank you. Thank you for putting up with my sporadic updating these days, but most of all, thank you for still having the courage to read on. I know the story can get quite angsty, but you know me: rainbows are never far.
Thank you.
Part 1 & foreword, | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 16 | Part 17
_________________________
HOPE --Part 15--
Ryeowook’s breathing is labored, but silent. He stands in line (he briefly remarks how the line is longer from what he remembered it was supposed to be, the camps must have gotten larger) and concentrates on balancing the pressure from his wounded leg to his other leg, almost dancing, shifting from one foot to the next. The names have started being called, and the pain in his leg makes him shiver, but he tries to concentrate; not paying attention, or not calling in Kyuhyun’s name when he is prompted could lead to serious problems. And a touch, a gentle but steadying one on his back makes him turn to his left, where Cho Kyuhyun’s mother is standing. She is gently tracing circles on his back, and although he would like to smile and thank her, he simply can’t - smiling here is a bad idea, attracting any kind of attention, displaying any type of hope is a very, very bad idea. Kyuhyun’s mother does not smile, nor does she look at him either, and when her turn comes, she shouts her name out loud, and Ryeowook soon follows - Cho Kyuhyun! - , and his heart pumps a little happiness at the sound of his name.
When the roll call ends, everyone is sent back to their respective cabins before their work is assigned, and Kyuhyun’s mother sits Ryeowook down before giving him his food ration of the day - a handful of grilled corn (the water is too precious here to waste on cooking and boiling foods), and she sits down with her meager portion of a few kernels, which she dutifully chews for long periods of time before swallowing. Both eat in silence; ever since they have greeted each other a week or so back, they haven’t spoken a single word, but Ryeowook understands why - talking is too energy consuming, too difficult when your throat is almost always dry from thirst. Instead, she nods at him, and he respectfully bows back.
Today is harder than it was yesterday: his leg has been increasingly hurting, and he walks in line with the others. The walk to the cave is short but difficult (Ryeowook almost always trips over roots and rocks as they ascend upwards in the camp). The line stops at the usual prep spot, and although there is an almost breath-taking view of the mountains on his right, he does not look at it; when the mind refuses to dream, any view is just that: a view.
"Today’s quota is larger than yesterday’s. And if another one of you croaks on us again today, it will be even larger."
No wines, no questions, no pleading for mercy; everybody knows it’s a useless waste of energy.
"From one to fourteen, you are on mining duty. From fifteen to twenty three, carrying."
And Ryeowook lets a very faint sigh of relief escape his lips; he might be able to make it today if he carries instead of mining… the mines are dark and dangerous, the lack of fresh air makes it harder to bear with the pain in his leg.
"MOVE."
The familiar weight of the large rock-like ore shoved into his arms makes him whine a little, but he carries the load dutifully outside, and walks back inside the mine only to start over again - the moist and still cave air contrasting with the dry and windy air on the outside. He used to count how many trips it took to fill in his eleven hours of work every day, but he stopped a few days ago. And he comes back in, receives the ore, and brings it back out, mind not even reflecting on the stupid nature of his work anymore; and another rock in his arms (a heavier one, at that) while his feet carry him outside mechanically and he trips on a rock, a small grunt of pain erupting from his tightly shut lips when he has to put more weight on his wounded leg.
He steps outside, and his features loosen when a wonderful wind caresses the left side of his face, and he turns his head to the right, with the sudden desire of having this blissful and fresh wind caress the back of his head and neck, and he smiles before opening his eyes. And the rock isn’t heavy at all anymore - and his heart stops. There, in the horizon near a corn field, there is a man. And the man is looking over here, and….. He trembles, the heavy rock falling with a loud thud on the ground.
Could that..... is that....him?
He can’t move, he stays completely still, wishing he actually had the strength to jump and flail his arms at him, to scream at him, to make sure he isn't just an illusion, that he is real, and alive, and....
A loud sound echoes in his head. He briefly wonders what is happening, what the sound is, and then he feels it; pain, enormous pain, and his legs fail him. He falls to the ground on his hands and knees right next to the big boulder he was carrying just then, and a voice booms out at him:
"YOU WORM! MOVE!"
And he feels the blood trickle down the side of his head, but his panic centers around something else: Kyuhyun. Did he see? He couldn't have, right? He is too far....And his breath is knocked out of his lungs when a feet collides with his butt, and he falls forward, face first on the ground.
"I SAID MOVE!"
He gets up, shakily, and looks immediately in Kyuhyun's direction only to find him gone. He is gone. Was it a dream?...it probably was. Come to think of it, Cho Kyuhyun might have always been just a fragment of his imagination. He is crazy, and alone. Alone in this hell.
___
Kyuhyun smiles, and he keeps on smiling: what can he say, what can he scream at him? That even though they are both in hell, he still looks like an angel? Because he does -Kyuhyun lets out a sharp breath- he looks perfect, he looks....
And he sees it: Ryeowook's body suddenly falls to the ground...
Is that.... did someone....?
He bites his lips - because it couldn't be it, he just didn't see well....- and he watches as the man standing next to Ryeowook in the horizon kicks him again.
Is someone kicking him? Are they...?
And it explodes, everything he has been stepping on in the past weeks: the frustration, the longing for the man he loves, the questions, the hunger, the fear, all of it: it turns into rage, a blinding rage, and he screams it.
"No....No.... NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
His mouth beats his brain and thoughts when the shrill and very loud scream escapes his lips; he suddenly starts running towards the electric fence, hate in his blood, and he runs, when something (or is it someone?) suddenly trips him over; he gets up only to be kicked back down, and he hiccups as his breath is kicked out of his lungs. Two guards pick him up and take him way, past the rows of corn, at the entrance to the field.
"Again, you try that again and we'll fucking kill you on the spot, you lousy.."
Kyuhyun lets them carry him away, and he waits. Because the second they let go, the moment they free him, he will strike them, he plans. And the plan is clear in his head: he will strike the man on his right, first. He will punch him in the face, and kick the other man on his left, until both writhe in pain, and he will....
The warm liquid -what is this liquid?- hits him full force, and he can't breathe; his entire head is suddenly submerged, and he kicks his legs and his arms -Can't...can't get away, is someone holding him down?!-. The liquid invades his nostrils and his mouth, and his heart suddenly beats like crazy -drowning, he's drowning-. No air, and he breathes the liquid in, and he feels it burn down in his throat, and in his lungs....
And suddenly, his head is jerked out of the watery-like substance. He can't hear quite clearly for a second or two, and his hearing returns with his coughing.
"So does that do it for ya?'
And he thinks he hears laughter echo around him, but then again, it might just be one person laughing - he is not sure. He coughs the bitter liquid, and his head is yanked back up by his hair.
"Again. Just try that again, and I ain't letting go: I'll drown you in piss, you filth."
And he lets go of Kyuhyun; the latter falls immediately to the ground, coughing and sneezing -it was pee, they...they tried to drown him in...-.
"When he gets up, he can either get back to the field, or bathe in the piss. His pick."
Knuckles white on the ground, his throat burning from the intrusion of the substance he almost drowned in, his heart skipping a beat, and his mind filled with hatred, Cho Kyuhyun gets up. He gets up, runs a trembling hand in his hair, and stumbles back to the field. He doesn't want to fight them anymore, he reasons. He can't win, he briefly thinks, they aren't human.... and he imagines Kim Ryeowook carrying the big boulder, and suddenly, his will to survive comes back. Ryeowook is alive. And this is a nightmare, this is all just a fucking nightmare, he decides, and when he wakes up, Ryeowook will be by his side, in a beautiful room, lying in their bed, giggling and turning the lights off before they make love.
A nightmare.
___
Ryeowook comes to the next morning, breathing heavily and panting, his entire body shaking from head to toe; a wet piece of cloth covers his forehead and it falls when he sits up; Kyuhyun's mother speaks, and he turns automatically towards the sound of her voice.
"You... have to wake up. You will be late."
He opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out; there is no strength, he realizes, horrified. He simply has no strength to talk.
"They..... I can't feed us today, they have taken away our rations...apparently, you....you couldn't meet the quo.....the quota."
The quota.... and tears well up in his eyes... The quota, the stupid quota...... But he'll never meet it again, he desperately wants to say -because he is getting weaker- and the anger sets in silently -he is getting weaker, they are keeping him weaker, and he can barely move his leg, they are trying to finish him off- and panic overwhelms him as he whines suddenly -and he will die, they will send him up on the mountain in a bag, he will die soon if they don't....-.
And a hand on his forehead. It's cold, but gentle, and Kyuhyun's mother closes her eyes. Ryeowook hasn't said a thing, and yet, she nods, the mental conversation expertly conducted, a connection that only the Cho seem to have with his brain. And she whispers low, and almost threatening.
"I know, I know. And now, you will listen to me."
Ryeowook steadies his breathing.
"You... You will go work, and meet the quota. And walk on your leg."
She opens her eyes, her hand on his forehead now trembling.
"Because we need to eat. Because we need to take Kyu....him out of here, you hear me?"
And Ryeowook's thoughts still, his eyes open wide, his mind blurting out the sentence urgently in his head: "Kyuhyun....it's true, he....Kyuhyun....he's real, he's not a dream, it's...."-
"You...you brought him in here, and you will take him out. I don't care if I die here, but he...."
And she grabs his head and brings him closer to hers, her forehead against his.
"He will live happily after this. He has to live, because his father wanted him to....to live with you. You hear me?"
And Ryeowook is in awe, because he remembers everything so suddenly; he remembers why he was trying so hard to survive, why he was so adamant at meeting the crazy quotas, why he put up with the pain in his leg, and most of all, why he had started planning an escape plan. How could he forget it like this, how could...this make him forget everything? He has a plan to carry out, he....
"So you... you will get your act together, and save him. You owe it to him. To me, to...to his father. You owe it to us."
She is right, Ryeowook reminds himself. She is right.
And a choke or two, before he actually manages to voice something out.
"I'm...sorry..."
"I know, I know. But don't fail this. This is how you will prove to me that he...didn't die for...for nothing. And when you get out of here, tell our Leader that his army enslaves his people like this behind his back...He.... he needs to know this is happening.... Do you hear me?"
And Ryeowook is hugged. He has no strength to hug back, but it doesn't matter. He will do it, he resigns himself. He will put his plan into action, he will talk to the right people (he can clearly see them in his mind, the corrupt guards, the ones that were here back when he first arrived years ago), and he will meet quotas, chop off his leg if he has to so that he can move with less pain.
He couldn't care less about the latter part of her speech, although he feels immediate relief at the familiarity of her words -Kyuhyun's description of her comes immediately to his mind-, and familiarity is good: it means that she is still sane, that she is still mentally strong.
He takes a deep breath.
"Yes, I will."
___
The day ends, Ryeowook's strength somehow doubled from yesterday (even though he could not eat), and the verdict is in when he waits in line for further instructions:
"The quota was met. Grab your corn and get lost."
His handful of corn in his hands, he walks in line, ecstatic at the praise his group got. He shoves the corn in his pocket, and takes a deep breath.
One foot in front of the other, and he finally lets his thoughts focus on his plan, for the first time in weeks... First things first: the minor offenses' camp supervisor. He swallows; he remembers his face perfectly, every stinking detail, every vomit inducing feature, his sharp nose, his short jet black hair, his ugly hands and long fingers... Another step forward, and Ryeowook shudders: he will have to go see him. His head naturally turns in the direction of the gruesome man's bunker, and he shuts his eyes.
He knows what he will have to pay -he instinctively cups his crotch with his hands- but it's worth it. With this, Kyuhyun will be given meat, and his time here might be shortened, much like his was the first time.
That evening, Kyuhyun's mother roasts the corn Ryeowook brings back from work, and they both eat gratefully. And when Ryeowook gets up two hours before curfew, she does not ask any questions; she gets up and rubs his lower back.
"I will tell them you are sick if they look for you...."
And Ryeowook briefly wonders if she knows where he is going; he wonders because there seems to be pain in her eyes, and gratitude. He only nods however, and leaves.
The sun is setting, and he walks straight for the bunker located at the border of both camps. When he gets there, he reaches for the wooden door, but it opens before he gets to it; a young woman leaves, her head bent down, and when she walks by him, Ryeowook can swear he sees tears.
Some things never change, and nightmares are among those.
___
The door creaks open, and an older man sits on a chair, facing the door. He doesn't look up, and his hoarse voice attacks the door.
"You forgot somethin'?"
He looks up, and his features immediately brighten up at the sight of Ryeowook. He bites his lip and smiles.
"You...it's you again.... You.... what are you doing back here?"
Ryeowook stays silent, his fists clenched, his teeth grinding. And the man laughs.
"You're in for what, a few months?"
"..I....It's not....for me."
And the man smiles.
"Who's it for? Family member?"
Ryeowook doesn't answer; Kyuhyun is now using his name, he reminds himself. So no names, no specifics. His posture straightens up, because it's time for his plan to be put into action - he swallows.
"Cabin number seven."
"Seven? Lucky sonsofbitches those ones. They won't be in for long. What's it to ya?"
"I...I need them to have meat...and leave as soon as....as possible."
The man smiles.
"I'll see what I can do, princess."
Ryeowook looks down and flinches at the sound of the word princess, a cascade of terrible memories threatening quite suddenly to steal his courage. The man gets up, smiling ever so widely as he approaches him.
"You know....I....It's crazy, you'll say..."
And he gets closer, advancing on Ryeowook, But Ryeowook straightens up, his chest forward, his eyes defiantly meeting those of the man coming closer.
"But I....I think I missed you....More than I....more that I thought I would."
And Ryeowook stands still when the man gets closer; he is smelled, the man's nose inhaling his oxygen.
"You're....you're just as beautiful as you used to be, you know that? Do you...do you remember how..."
And Ryeowook forces a smile.
"I'll remember everything, if.... if you remember to help the occupants of cabin seven. I'll remember.....everything you want."
The man steps back, and smiles.
"I'll see what i can do. Meet me here tomorrow at eight, and...cabin seven will have more rations."
"And there's....there's more."
The man listens.
"I need time to meet one of them. I need.... I need to be sent over there."
"...You are asking, but are you...giving?"
Ryeowook grins and answers sweetly.
"I'll give more than I'm asking. You know that, right? But only....only after it's been....given."
The man smirks back, quite apparently pleased by the turn of events.
"You were always the smart one, I remember that. Fine princess. I'll play your game. I'm kinda bored...anyway."
And the man comes closer, taking Ryeowook's left hand and stroking it with his fingers.
"You.... come here early tomorrow morning, and...and you can send them the meat rations."
And the man's features suddenly change to a look of anger or frustration, and Ryeowook is jerked forward, the man suddenly pulling on his hand; he stops a few inches from his face.
"But if you mess with me...."
And he whispers in his ear.
"I will cut off your pretty face. And it would be.....such a waste...."
And Ryeowook pulls his hand away and steps back before he retorts, no trace of fear in his voice:
"I know..... I'm not crazy, I know how it works....and I wouldn't risk it."
That evening, when Ryeowook makes his way back to his cabin before curfew, he smiles: this man.... he remembers how obsessed he was with him, how Ryeowook used to be his victim....but not this time, he triumphantly smiles. Not this time. This time, Ryeowook's the mastermind, the one who knows the rules of the game, the one who decides how they will be played. His heart beats excitedly when he realizes that his plan is actually coming together marvelously: a little buying of time, a little seduction and persuasion, and Kyuhyun is out of here (provided that he stays out of trouble, out of suspicion....). It will work. His plan will work.
Ryeowook is careful not to trip over the few rocks on his way back too excited and thrilled to actually feel the pain in his wounded leg, his fast pace filled with promises and hope - he has power now: this man is their ticket out.
And he will use it.
_________________________
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
Genre: Angst, romance, !Realistic AU
Rating & Warning: R/NC-17 - sexual situations, violence - psychological and physical torture -
FOR THIS CHAPTER: R (Adult situations, Violence,)
Summary: Cho Kyuhyun and Kim Ryeowook try their best to survive in a totalitarian state (DPRK) surrounded by famine, fear and death, all the while gracing their short lives with the precious moments of pure love that they get to share together.
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior members - sighs - and have no rights over them, nor do I have any connections with their management. This is a work of fiction.
A/N.: So here it is. I know, this one also took a while before I could put it together - but in all fairness, the following chapters of the story are drawing it to a close, and I am working really hard at striking a balance between giving you an ending that will leave you satisfied with the story and staying as true to the facts as I possibly can.
Much like the previous chapter was, this one is self-explanatory, so no footnotes are needed here.
And, of course, thank you. Thank you for putting up with my sporadic updating these days, but most of all, thank you for still having the courage to read on. I know the story can get quite angsty, but you know me: rainbows are never far.
Thank you.
Part 1 & foreword, | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 16 | Part 17
_________________________
HOPE --Part 15--
Ryeowook’s breathing is labored, but silent. He stands in line (he briefly remarks how the line is longer from what he remembered it was supposed to be, the camps must have gotten larger) and concentrates on balancing the pressure from his wounded leg to his other leg, almost dancing, shifting from one foot to the next. The names have started being called, and the pain in his leg makes him shiver, but he tries to concentrate; not paying attention, or not calling in Kyuhyun’s name when he is prompted could lead to serious problems. And a touch, a gentle but steadying one on his back makes him turn to his left, where Cho Kyuhyun’s mother is standing. She is gently tracing circles on his back, and although he would like to smile and thank her, he simply can’t - smiling here is a bad idea, attracting any kind of attention, displaying any type of hope is a very, very bad idea. Kyuhyun’s mother does not smile, nor does she look at him either, and when her turn comes, she shouts her name out loud, and Ryeowook soon follows - Cho Kyuhyun! - , and his heart pumps a little happiness at the sound of his name.
When the roll call ends, everyone is sent back to their respective cabins before their work is assigned, and Kyuhyun’s mother sits Ryeowook down before giving him his food ration of the day - a handful of grilled corn (the water is too precious here to waste on cooking and boiling foods), and she sits down with her meager portion of a few kernels, which she dutifully chews for long periods of time before swallowing. Both eat in silence; ever since they have greeted each other a week or so back, they haven’t spoken a single word, but Ryeowook understands why - talking is too energy consuming, too difficult when your throat is almost always dry from thirst. Instead, she nods at him, and he respectfully bows back.
Today is harder than it was yesterday: his leg has been increasingly hurting, and he walks in line with the others. The walk to the cave is short but difficult (Ryeowook almost always trips over roots and rocks as they ascend upwards in the camp). The line stops at the usual prep spot, and although there is an almost breath-taking view of the mountains on his right, he does not look at it; when the mind refuses to dream, any view is just that: a view.
"Today’s quota is larger than yesterday’s. And if another one of you croaks on us again today, it will be even larger."
No wines, no questions, no pleading for mercy; everybody knows it’s a useless waste of energy.
"From one to fourteen, you are on mining duty. From fifteen to twenty three, carrying."
And Ryeowook lets a very faint sigh of relief escape his lips; he might be able to make it today if he carries instead of mining… the mines are dark and dangerous, the lack of fresh air makes it harder to bear with the pain in his leg.
"MOVE."
The familiar weight of the large rock-like ore shoved into his arms makes him whine a little, but he carries the load dutifully outside, and walks back inside the mine only to start over again - the moist and still cave air contrasting with the dry and windy air on the outside. He used to count how many trips it took to fill in his eleven hours of work every day, but he stopped a few days ago. And he comes back in, receives the ore, and brings it back out, mind not even reflecting on the stupid nature of his work anymore; and another rock in his arms (a heavier one, at that) while his feet carry him outside mechanically and he trips on a rock, a small grunt of pain erupting from his tightly shut lips when he has to put more weight on his wounded leg.
He steps outside, and his features loosen when a wonderful wind caresses the left side of his face, and he turns his head to the right, with the sudden desire of having this blissful and fresh wind caress the back of his head and neck, and he smiles before opening his eyes. And the rock isn’t heavy at all anymore - and his heart stops. There, in the horizon near a corn field, there is a man. And the man is looking over here, and….. He trembles, the heavy rock falling with a loud thud on the ground.
Could that..... is that....him?
He can’t move, he stays completely still, wishing he actually had the strength to jump and flail his arms at him, to scream at him, to make sure he isn't just an illusion, that he is real, and alive, and....
A loud sound echoes in his head. He briefly wonders what is happening, what the sound is, and then he feels it; pain, enormous pain, and his legs fail him. He falls to the ground on his hands and knees right next to the big boulder he was carrying just then, and a voice booms out at him:
"YOU WORM! MOVE!"
And he feels the blood trickle down the side of his head, but his panic centers around something else: Kyuhyun. Did he see? He couldn't have, right? He is too far....And his breath is knocked out of his lungs when a feet collides with his butt, and he falls forward, face first on the ground.
"I SAID MOVE!"
He gets up, shakily, and looks immediately in Kyuhyun's direction only to find him gone. He is gone. Was it a dream?...it probably was. Come to think of it, Cho Kyuhyun might have always been just a fragment of his imagination. He is crazy, and alone. Alone in this hell.
___
Kyuhyun smiles, and he keeps on smiling: what can he say, what can he scream at him? That even though they are both in hell, he still looks like an angel? Because he does -Kyuhyun lets out a sharp breath- he looks perfect, he looks....
And he sees it: Ryeowook's body suddenly falls to the ground...
Is that.... did someone....?
He bites his lips - because it couldn't be it, he just didn't see well....- and he watches as the man standing next to Ryeowook in the horizon kicks him again.
Is someone kicking him? Are they...?
And it explodes, everything he has been stepping on in the past weeks: the frustration, the longing for the man he loves, the questions, the hunger, the fear, all of it: it turns into rage, a blinding rage, and he screams it.
"No....No.... NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
His mouth beats his brain and thoughts when the shrill and very loud scream escapes his lips; he suddenly starts running towards the electric fence, hate in his blood, and he runs, when something (or is it someone?) suddenly trips him over; he gets up only to be kicked back down, and he hiccups as his breath is kicked out of his lungs. Two guards pick him up and take him way, past the rows of corn, at the entrance to the field.
"Again, you try that again and we'll fucking kill you on the spot, you lousy.."
Kyuhyun lets them carry him away, and he waits. Because the second they let go, the moment they free him, he will strike them, he plans. And the plan is clear in his head: he will strike the man on his right, first. He will punch him in the face, and kick the other man on his left, until both writhe in pain, and he will....
The warm liquid -what is this liquid?- hits him full force, and he can't breathe; his entire head is suddenly submerged, and he kicks his legs and his arms -Can't...can't get away, is someone holding him down?!-. The liquid invades his nostrils and his mouth, and his heart suddenly beats like crazy -drowning, he's drowning-. No air, and he breathes the liquid in, and he feels it burn down in his throat, and in his lungs....
And suddenly, his head is jerked out of the watery-like substance. He can't hear quite clearly for a second or two, and his hearing returns with his coughing.
"So does that do it for ya?'
And he thinks he hears laughter echo around him, but then again, it might just be one person laughing - he is not sure. He coughs the bitter liquid, and his head is yanked back up by his hair.
"Again. Just try that again, and I ain't letting go: I'll drown you in piss, you filth."
And he lets go of Kyuhyun; the latter falls immediately to the ground, coughing and sneezing -it was pee, they...they tried to drown him in...-.
"When he gets up, he can either get back to the field, or bathe in the piss. His pick."
Knuckles white on the ground, his throat burning from the intrusion of the substance he almost drowned in, his heart skipping a beat, and his mind filled with hatred, Cho Kyuhyun gets up. He gets up, runs a trembling hand in his hair, and stumbles back to the field. He doesn't want to fight them anymore, he reasons. He can't win, he briefly thinks, they aren't human.... and he imagines Kim Ryeowook carrying the big boulder, and suddenly, his will to survive comes back. Ryeowook is alive. And this is a nightmare, this is all just a fucking nightmare, he decides, and when he wakes up, Ryeowook will be by his side, in a beautiful room, lying in their bed, giggling and turning the lights off before they make love.
A nightmare.
___
Ryeowook comes to the next morning, breathing heavily and panting, his entire body shaking from head to toe; a wet piece of cloth covers his forehead and it falls when he sits up; Kyuhyun's mother speaks, and he turns automatically towards the sound of her voice.
"You... have to wake up. You will be late."
He opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out; there is no strength, he realizes, horrified. He simply has no strength to talk.
"They..... I can't feed us today, they have taken away our rations...apparently, you....you couldn't meet the quo.....the quota."
The quota.... and tears well up in his eyes... The quota, the stupid quota...... But he'll never meet it again, he desperately wants to say -because he is getting weaker- and the anger sets in silently -he is getting weaker, they are keeping him weaker, and he can barely move his leg, they are trying to finish him off- and panic overwhelms him as he whines suddenly -and he will die, they will send him up on the mountain in a bag, he will die soon if they don't....-.
And a hand on his forehead. It's cold, but gentle, and Kyuhyun's mother closes her eyes. Ryeowook hasn't said a thing, and yet, she nods, the mental conversation expertly conducted, a connection that only the Cho seem to have with his brain. And she whispers low, and almost threatening.
"I know, I know. And now, you will listen to me."
Ryeowook steadies his breathing.
"You... You will go work, and meet the quota. And walk on your leg."
She opens her eyes, her hand on his forehead now trembling.
"Because we need to eat. Because we need to take Kyu....him out of here, you hear me?"
And Ryeowook's thoughts still, his eyes open wide, his mind blurting out the sentence urgently in his head: "Kyuhyun....it's true, he....Kyuhyun....he's real, he's not a dream, it's...."-
"You...you brought him in here, and you will take him out. I don't care if I die here, but he...."
And she grabs his head and brings him closer to hers, her forehead against his.
"He will live happily after this. He has to live, because his father wanted him to....to live with you. You hear me?"
And Ryeowook is in awe, because he remembers everything so suddenly; he remembers why he was trying so hard to survive, why he was so adamant at meeting the crazy quotas, why he put up with the pain in his leg, and most of all, why he had started planning an escape plan. How could he forget it like this, how could...this make him forget everything? He has a plan to carry out, he....
"So you... you will get your act together, and save him. You owe it to him. To me, to...to his father. You owe it to us."
She is right, Ryeowook reminds himself. She is right.
And a choke or two, before he actually manages to voice something out.
"I'm...sorry..."
"I know, I know. But don't fail this. This is how you will prove to me that he...didn't die for...for nothing. And when you get out of here, tell our Leader that his army enslaves his people like this behind his back...He.... he needs to know this is happening.... Do you hear me?"
And Ryeowook is hugged. He has no strength to hug back, but it doesn't matter. He will do it, he resigns himself. He will put his plan into action, he will talk to the right people (he can clearly see them in his mind, the corrupt guards, the ones that were here back when he first arrived years ago), and he will meet quotas, chop off his leg if he has to so that he can move with less pain.
He couldn't care less about the latter part of her speech, although he feels immediate relief at the familiarity of her words -Kyuhyun's description of her comes immediately to his mind-, and familiarity is good: it means that she is still sane, that she is still mentally strong.
He takes a deep breath.
"Yes, I will."
___
The day ends, Ryeowook's strength somehow doubled from yesterday (even though he could not eat), and the verdict is in when he waits in line for further instructions:
"The quota was met. Grab your corn and get lost."
His handful of corn in his hands, he walks in line, ecstatic at the praise his group got. He shoves the corn in his pocket, and takes a deep breath.
One foot in front of the other, and he finally lets his thoughts focus on his plan, for the first time in weeks... First things first: the minor offenses' camp supervisor. He swallows; he remembers his face perfectly, every stinking detail, every vomit inducing feature, his sharp nose, his short jet black hair, his ugly hands and long fingers... Another step forward, and Ryeowook shudders: he will have to go see him. His head naturally turns in the direction of the gruesome man's bunker, and he shuts his eyes.
He knows what he will have to pay -he instinctively cups his crotch with his hands- but it's worth it. With this, Kyuhyun will be given meat, and his time here might be shortened, much like his was the first time.
That evening, Kyuhyun's mother roasts the corn Ryeowook brings back from work, and they both eat gratefully. And when Ryeowook gets up two hours before curfew, she does not ask any questions; she gets up and rubs his lower back.
"I will tell them you are sick if they look for you...."
And Ryeowook briefly wonders if she knows where he is going; he wonders because there seems to be pain in her eyes, and gratitude. He only nods however, and leaves.
The sun is setting, and he walks straight for the bunker located at the border of both camps. When he gets there, he reaches for the wooden door, but it opens before he gets to it; a young woman leaves, her head bent down, and when she walks by him, Ryeowook can swear he sees tears.
Some things never change, and nightmares are among those.
___
The door creaks open, and an older man sits on a chair, facing the door. He doesn't look up, and his hoarse voice attacks the door.
"You forgot somethin'?"
He looks up, and his features immediately brighten up at the sight of Ryeowook. He bites his lip and smiles.
"You...it's you again.... You.... what are you doing back here?"
Ryeowook stays silent, his fists clenched, his teeth grinding. And the man laughs.
"You're in for what, a few months?"
"..I....It's not....for me."
And the man smiles.
"Who's it for? Family member?"
Ryeowook doesn't answer; Kyuhyun is now using his name, he reminds himself. So no names, no specifics. His posture straightens up, because it's time for his plan to be put into action - he swallows.
"Cabin number seven."
"Seven? Lucky sonsofbitches those ones. They won't be in for long. What's it to ya?"
"I...I need them to have meat...and leave as soon as....as possible."
The man smiles.
"I'll see what I can do, princess."
Ryeowook looks down and flinches at the sound of the word princess, a cascade of terrible memories threatening quite suddenly to steal his courage. The man gets up, smiling ever so widely as he approaches him.
"You know....I....It's crazy, you'll say..."
And he gets closer, advancing on Ryeowook, But Ryeowook straightens up, his chest forward, his eyes defiantly meeting those of the man coming closer.
"But I....I think I missed you....More than I....more that I thought I would."
And Ryeowook stands still when the man gets closer; he is smelled, the man's nose inhaling his oxygen.
"You're....you're just as beautiful as you used to be, you know that? Do you...do you remember how..."
And Ryeowook forces a smile.
"I'll remember everything, if.... if you remember to help the occupants of cabin seven. I'll remember.....everything you want."
The man steps back, and smiles.
"I'll see what i can do. Meet me here tomorrow at eight, and...cabin seven will have more rations."
"And there's....there's more."
The man listens.
"I need time to meet one of them. I need.... I need to be sent over there."
"...You are asking, but are you...giving?"
Ryeowook grins and answers sweetly.
"I'll give more than I'm asking. You know that, right? But only....only after it's been....given."
The man smirks back, quite apparently pleased by the turn of events.
"You were always the smart one, I remember that. Fine princess. I'll play your game. I'm kinda bored...anyway."
And the man comes closer, taking Ryeowook's left hand and stroking it with his fingers.
"You.... come here early tomorrow morning, and...and you can send them the meat rations."
And the man's features suddenly change to a look of anger or frustration, and Ryeowook is jerked forward, the man suddenly pulling on his hand; he stops a few inches from his face.
"But if you mess with me...."
And he whispers in his ear.
"I will cut off your pretty face. And it would be.....such a waste...."
And Ryeowook pulls his hand away and steps back before he retorts, no trace of fear in his voice:
"I know..... I'm not crazy, I know how it works....and I wouldn't risk it."
That evening, when Ryeowook makes his way back to his cabin before curfew, he smiles: this man.... he remembers how obsessed he was with him, how Ryeowook used to be his victim....but not this time, he triumphantly smiles. Not this time. This time, Ryeowook's the mastermind, the one who knows the rules of the game, the one who decides how they will be played. His heart beats excitedly when he realizes that his plan is actually coming together marvelously: a little buying of time, a little seduction and persuasion, and Kyuhyun is out of here (provided that he stays out of trouble, out of suspicion....). It will work. His plan will work.
Ryeowook is careful not to trip over the few rocks on his way back too excited and thrilled to actually feel the pain in his wounded leg, his fast pace filled with promises and hope - he has power now: this man is their ticket out.
And he will use it.
_________________________