rejected fic-- not anymore C:

[heeythatsmybike]

I haven't posted this story up on FF.net yet since I'm not sure how much I like it right now. EDIT: Posted. ♥ I'm not usually one of those people that have Sasuke and Naruto all up ons when they first meet so this was EXTREMELY hard for me, just... gah. This will be a little bit more of a serious story because of its subject matter, but as always,

Comments

[ex_betterino391]

Very interesting~ It's not often that a fic like this pops up, or at least I don't come across them often, but that's part of what made it a good!fic for me. I'm quickly becoming a fan of your stuff. <3

Even if I knew how to give a critique on a kiss/grind scene I don't think I could come up with anything for this one. *thumbs up* Sorry, that's not very helpful. I got nothing.

One last thing, though: I really liked the "don't lose yourself" line. I hope I get the chance to see if it means what I think it means. <3

[heeythatsmybike]

F,fan?? *glee* ♥ ♥ ♥
Yeah, I usually end up doing fics that are either nonexistant or hard to find (mostly because I'm so frustrated with not being able to find them to read D:)

Bah, as long as you're not like "OMG WTF WAS THAT?? D: *throws up all over keyboard at bad writing*" so, it's helpful. <3

I'm glad you liked that line, since that's pretty much what this fic revolves around (who wants to read a fic that revolves around a lame line?)

Thank you for the comment, it gave me the ego boost I needed to post this on the FF.net <333

[ex_betterino391]

Same here and I, for one, am very grateful for that. ♥

It's definitely not throw-up-over-my-keyboard material. No sirree.

Really? That just makes me want to find out what it means all the more~

I'm glad my comment inspired such results but, umm, you might want to have someone beta it. I caught a few errors -- nothing huge, just stuff like "you" instead of "your" -- here and there.

...I'd be happy to do it. <3 Though I must warn you that I've never beta'd a fic before.

[heeythatsmybike]

Oh, please do!! (I always write fanfiction instead of sleeping so there's sometimes typos my half-awake self doesn't catch)

I'll email to you if you can do it tonight. ♥

[_emewd_]

The proper term for the camp is "restriction camp" and they do shit like make you clean floors with tootbrushes, sit you in ice baths and oh yeah, sensory therapy. I've never been to one; I just know a lot about them.

I wanna see the next installment. This was a really good beginning, and the counselors were really in character. It was realistic. I have found only one other example of such a reality in another fic by another author, so...nice job.

[heeythatsmybike]

Would you happen to have any links about the camps? I didn't want to write anymore until I knew a little bit more about them and I've only been able to find so much by google searching (plus the camp websites themselves barely say anything.. must be afraid of getting attacked by even MORE protesters or something).

Thank you <333 I've already received like 2 flames for it and it's barely been out a day XDD I'm so proud!!

[transient_words]

I wish I could leave you a halfway coherent review, but at this point, I am bordering on sleep... Anyway, I like the concept of your story: I have never seen that sort of fic before and your writing style has definitely pulled me in. I really like your writing style because it is readable, easy to understand and has a very nice flow. As to concrit, I didn't find anything worth complaining about. Also, for someone who is not used to writing kissing/grind scenes, you did pretty well.

[heeythatsmybike]

Half-way coherent or not, that review still made my day. ♥
I'm a sucker for when people comment about my writing style since that's what I'm always trying to improve on, so, <333 thank you!
I'm surprised everyone's saying it's a new idea, you'd think with the all political crap surrounding religion these days that people would stop and think to write about that kind of obsticle instead of just the patented "oh noes, we're both boys!! social taboo!! D:"

Uh, but anyway, thank you for the lovely review!! :D

[shankthespine_x]

I don't see what to dislike about it. The concept is very unique and I don't think I've ever seen it in fanfiction until now. Thanks for the heads up on those topics, I just posted a friend request to the then 16-year old's myspace.

I thought the grind scene was quite nice. The only small quick I have about this is that the erm.. romance happened a little too quickly, but that's no big problem at all. So please do continue. :D

I really like how your writing style isn't overly eloquent yet draws you in just the same. It's fun, and delightfully cheeky (I'm not sure if that's the right word for it but I hope you get the point).

Oh and I've been meaning to comment on "All According to Plan" but never gotten around to it. I would like to say that it's awesome and absolutely hilarious. So I'm really forward to the next update as well.

Okay, I'm sure you've grown tired of my rambling already but please still do let me friend you xD

[heeythatsmybike]

Oh trust me, there's no romance yet (I wouldn't exactly call grinding in an alley "romantic"). I'll try to explain in the second chapter why some random guy Naruto just met came up and started grinding on him (and why he didn't run for the hills XD)
But the actual like/love comes later.
Cheeky? Haha, that's a first. I LIKE IT. ♥
Thank you for the awesome reviews!! <33

Oh, and friend away! :D

mmm...

[demon_vampirate]

...I have parents that are like that about bisexuals. I found this out through my sister. I'm bi, too, and it's really hard to hide the fact that my ex girlfriend cheated on me, since they think I'm only after guys...

I know, you probably don't care. Either way, I like...

Re: mmHM

[heeythatsmybike]

Oh shush, I don't mind at all! ♥
Ugh, I really hate parents like that, my girlfriend's still in high school and her parents are like this/that too so I understand (well.. to an extent, since I don't live with it).

Glad you like!! ♥

Re: mmHM

[daikirai]

Hi!

Just found your journal through some fanart on Yaoi Gallery and just HAD to read this fic! I'm not religious at all, in fact I do not even like Christianity (and Islam and other religions as well) so much because how extremely it's been misused, both in history and present day (the original thought was nice, but mankind has changed so much that the whole thing just annoys me.. Believing in a god is okay, but religion for me has become a bad thing), but for some reason I love fics like this, prolly because of "Where is God" on AFF.

Anyways, so far so good, now I have to go and read the rest but I had to put some comments here so I could say how much i absolutely LOVE your icon!!! xD (NaruSasu is my otp <3 )

Keep up the good work! ^__^

Re: mmHM

[heeythatsmybike]

I-I think I love you. ;O;

It's so nice to see someone with the same opinions on religion (I've been up to my neck in flames lately from "Catholics" that really don't understand how ignorant they're sounding telling me that God hates homosexuals and that I suck for hating Christians... wtf?). I thnk what's even worse is because someone has a big book in front of them telling them that something is the the 'right thing' then they're pretty much blind to all the other angle on the issue, even if they misinterrpered it.
Ohhh and I love "Where is God"!!

Another NaruSasu fan?? YES!! SasuNaru fans overpower us and shove us into a little corner ;o;

Uhh... but anyway! I'm glad you're digging it and I hope you keep enjoying it! :D ♥