Ski Resort
Title: Ski Resort
Author: heehe
Pairing: 2min, ninja!jongkey
Rating/Genre: PG-13/ fluff
Word Count: ~7, 000
Summary: Taemin keeps it in, everything. But this Christmas, he wasn't going to waste it.
A/N: Omg I don't know what to write here. T-T Thanks chaeii for reading this. <3 I hope it's not too bad and have a merry Christmas everyone. :D
Ski Resort
The thing about SM Entertainment was that it was ruthless in work. It has brought up A-list artists with its superior star system, with vigorous training that has left many trainees crying every night, with exceptional choreographers, composers, and public image trainers. Even after debut, the company worked you to the bones. Comeback stage after comeback stage, multiple fan signings a day, radio shows, more stages, overseas promotions, variety shows - and in the middle of it all, they force a new track on you, a new dance, so your hiatus period between goodbye stage and comeback stage is kept as short as possible.
Expose you, expose your group, gain popularity, and skyrocket.
That was the case for Taemin’s Soshi noonas and he would feel his heart hurt at how fatigued they looked backstage, flashing a bright smile towards everyone, but bags under their eyes visible without makeup. His noonas had managed to put three songs into a year of music bank.
SHINee didn’t have it easy either. Each of his hyungs were busy with their own schedules. Jinki with his musical, JongHyun with SM The Ballad, Minho with Dream Team, Key and him appearing on variety shows. They try not to tire Taemin out, giving him slightly lighter schedules than his hyungs, but that was only because he wasn’t studying in university yet.
More often than not, they wouldn’t be able to have family time in the evening now. Either one person or the other still caught in rehearsal or filming or other kinds of impediments, and SHINee was left with a gaping hole in the living room of the dorm. When Key was around, it was much better for Taemin. Key would whip up delicious meals and force them to eat and it would almost feel like they were together again, back in Yuhanam.
But somewhere along the struggle to stardom, Taemin stopped waiting up for Minho. He had always waited up for his hyung, under the pretence of studying, but now he’d much rather retreat to his room and lay on his bed. It probably began that one time, when Taemin was so tired he went to bed first, but not before sleeping, overhearing Key and Minho arguing softly in the living room.
“What is this? How can they film all of you into the middle of the night?” Key’s voice floated underneath the door.
Taemin’s eyes snapped open then, grip on his quilt tightening as he strained to listen.
“Filming ended early. I was with Super Junior sunbaes.”
“Drinking?” A slight edge crept into Key’s tone.
He could hear his own breathing in the silence that ensued and Taemin felt a spark of anger.
“What about us, Minho-ah?”
Sounds of a bag unzipping, plastic crumpling, light footsteps.
“We don’t even get the chance to eat together anymore.”
Enough. Taemin had heard enough, rolling over on his side and suffocating his head with the blanket. Minho cares for SHINee, that much was certain - but just for once, Taemin would imagine he didn’t, that all along he would prefer to be part of Super Junior, joking and laughing and pushing with Eunhyuk or whomever and Taemin wouldn’t care. He’d walk past Minho without a second glance, regarding him as a colleague, cold and platonic.
Oh, who was he kidding?
A hard, hollow bump made Taemin jump, fumbling around in the darkness and sitting upright. Their leader’s head popped into the room.
“Jinki hyung?” Taemin asked, annoyed. His heart was pumping hard from the shock.
“Ah, Taemin-ah, sorry, I tripped,” Jinki explained, closing the door behind him, the light spilling from the living room folding into itself. “Did I wake you?”
“Not really,” He relaxed into the mattress as the leader sat on the edge of his bed.
The soft light from underneath the door made shadows stretch across Jinki’s face, turning him nearly ghostly.
“You heard Kibum and Minho talking?”
“Fighting,” Taemin corrected, earning a small smile from Jinki, whom patted his head gently.
“They aren’t - ”
“Sometimes I wonder if you even remember that you belong to SHINee or not!” Key shrilled from outside.
Jinki tensed, hand stopping in Taemin’s hair.
“Kibum-ah, calm down,” Minho’s deep voice said, composed.
“Sometimes, I wonder - I really do - if you think that somehow, maybe, one day, by spending so much time with Super Junior, that you’d actually become one of them.”
“H-hey,” JongHyun spoke up meekly.
Taemin felt his mattress rising, Jinki smiled reassuringly at him but even in the half-light, there was an anxiousness in the jerky way his leader moved.
“Sleep,” The bespectacled adult said before walking out of the room quietly.
A loud slam of the door. Hollow sounds of something colliding hard with wood.
“Kibum!” Jinki’s voice sounded.
Taemin closed his eyes and turned over, heart pounding too fast to sleep, but not awake enough to deal with this. He wouldn’t speak. He never said anything, so he’d keep quiet. The maknae that listens to his hyungs.
That’s what Minho told Taemin to be.
He was sure Minho noticed him not staying up any longer. No more glass of milk and little hug waiting for him. Taemin didn’t mind the sweat and smell on Minho when he returned from Dream Team, or the excessive amounts of cologne the stylist douses him with. He liked the warmth. But Taemin was still a kid wasn’t he?
Deep inside, secretly, he had hoped Minho would get angry. Yell at him even, “why don’t you wait for me anymore?”. Of course his hyung wouldn’t have done that, too well-mannered to behave in such a way.
What frustrated him was how Minho seemed to ‘understand’ him.
‘Understood’ in the sense that Taemin was 'exhausted and had to rest'. It made the boy want to strangle Minho.
Late nights spent rolling around restlessly on his mattress would wind up in hearing the door unlocking softly. A few homely noises, rustling of fabric, bag unzipping, padding of feet. The spray of water down the corridor and Taemin would feel his eyelids drooping by then. The door would open soon, hazelnut wafting up his nose and Taemin would find himself thinking, in his semi-conscious state: look at me, look at my back turned to you, look at me leaning close to the wall. I don’t care about you. Look at me, look!
His mattress would sink, every single damn time, and a large hand would smooth the side of his head, sometimes settling onto his shoulder. It would linger there and he could see the way the older boy watched him, a soft smile on his lips and eyes reflecting a simple joy and concern.
Taemin wasn't tired, goddamn.
Even if he was angry, in the morning at breakfast, Taemin wouldn’t say a thing. He would ask for jam and give thanks for the food and feed Jinki buttered toast and steal JongHyun’s orange juice. He would complain about a pancake shortage and force Key to make more and he would gobble up the extra slice of pancake Minho slides on his plate.
Nobody would know.
Despite being extremely career-oriented, SM Entertainment does take care of their artists, and when the year was coming to an end, Jinki had barged into the dorm, short of breath and doubling over.
“Chased by fans?” Minho asked, smiling slightly, eyes never leaving the television screen as he controlled his soccer character. Taemin was watching beside him, knees pulled close to his chest.
Actually, he was watching Minho from his peripheral vision, taking in the way the corner of the older boy’s eyes creased when he smiled.
“We have a vacation!” Jinki exclaimed.
And with that sentence, Taemin’s head snapped towards the leader. Minho lost possession of the virtual ball, immediately pausing it and looking at Jinki. There was a loud clattering in the kitchen as Key stumbled out in an apron while a bedroom door lashed open, JongHyun’s eyes wide.
“Really?” JongHyun asked, already grinning.
When Jinki nodded, there was chaos with Key clasping hands with JongHyun, screaming incoherently, jumping on the spot and then rushing over to embrace their leader. Taemin had felt like he lost a step, the lurching in his stomach quickly turning into relief and elation and he watched Minho slowly leaning back against the couch, arms relaxing with the game controller nearly dropping out of his hands, the creases deepening.
Blood beating in his ears, Taemin mentally debated grabbing Minho’s arm, the happiness and relief of a break in a long time being a good cover for his hidden affections. As his hands moved, completely unnatural, Key called.
“Oh, come over here you two,” The diva had said in the middle of hugging.
Minho glanced at Taemin, grinning. A large hand wrapping around his wrist and dragged him off the couch and for a moment, his heart froze and everything turned a warm shade of orange.
He was trapped between Minho and Key in the group hug, yelling their cheer out. And it was Yuhanam again, where hazelnut was always beside him, and he was happy.
“Taemin!”
Turning around, he was engulfed by a mass of hair, sweet perfume crawling up his nose. The woman detached herself and held him at arms length.
“Taeyeon noona!”
SM artists were at the train station, managers running about with a few bodyguards, barking into their phones. His own manager was on edge today, resulting in Key and him having a shouting match outside the dorm on the issue of the amount of luggage the diva was bringing.
There was clicking in the air all the time, and the occasional flash that left Taemin cross eyed. An SM representative would dress the photographer down harshly. Strictly no flash photography.
Personally, Taemin was very excited for this trip. They were taking a steam train, in the middle of winter, towards the ski resort the company had booked for them. Having never taken a ride on any steam engine, nor gone skiing before, he was looking forward to it.
Eight other women surrounded him soon, pinching his cheeks and combing his hair with thin fingers. He liked the Soshi noonas, although Key said they pampered him too much. An arm wound around his shoulders, an arm too rough and bulky to be one of the girls’, winter wear awkwardly big between the contact.
“Minho-ah, did you pack enough clothes for your dongsaeng?” Taeyeon checked. Taemin stiffened at the name, glancing up at the boy.
The taller boy pursed his lips to stifle a laugh, nodding, and Taemin felt a hand ruffling his hair.
“I can pack my clothes myself!” He piped up, indignant at being treated like a child. Some of the girls laughed and waved, moving away to greet other artists.
Taeyeon leaned close and whispered, “It’s not like you mind.”
Flushing, he averted his eyes to the ground, hearing SNSD’s leader telling Minho that they’ll see each other later with a clearly entertained tone.
When she left, Taemin found the courage to glance up at Minho. The older boy looked at him questioningly, wondering what Taeyeon had whispered. Taemin shook his head quickly, glad that everybody’s cheeks were red with the cold.
“Manager’s gathering us,” Taemin felt Minho steering him into motion, hand still on his head.
Feeling bold, he spoke after hesitating for a second.
“Minho hyung,” The aforementioned gave him full attention, stopping, and Taemin’s insides wriggled. “Can I sit with you in the train?”
Taemin grinned when Minho laughed, hand ruffling his hair again.
The corridor was extremely cramped. Everyone had to walk in a single file to their carriage. Taemin could barely take in his surroundings with people pushing against each other accidentally. He caught glimpses of lacquered wood and dirty glass making up part of the carriage sliding door. Super Junior took up the front part of the train, with their number of members, together with Jino (clinging onto Kyuhyun), followed by BoA, TVXQ, SNSD, f(x) and finally SHINee.
Apparently Key had chosen the last carriage in the train because it was closer to the washroom. Taemin was glad though, he couldn’t imagine squeezing his way through the narrow corridor with his bladder bursting. Also, much to their relief, the managers sat right at front with the rest of SM Entertainment’s representatives; which meant they wouldn’t be hawked upon.
Being led by Key into their carriage (whom slid the door open with a wet wipe), Taemin found it surprisingly cosy, with a short table between two red velvet bench seats that sunk a great deal when he sat. Unknowingly, he had pulled Minho by the wrist into the seat. Only when Taemin wanted to bring both hands to the window to wave at the fans did he realise one of them was gripping Minho.
Letting go quickly, Taemin moved his hands back and forth into the window, hoping none of the hyungs saw that, or thought anything of it. The fans outside jumped, pointing at him and cameras trained on him. Returning his attention to the inside of the carriage, Key was drawing out another wet wipe from a pack to clean the table with. JongHyun and Minho were engaged in a conversation about snowboarding while Jinki was engrossed in a book.
He pressed into Minho’s side tentatively, amidst the hyungs’ serious discussion, and grinned when the boy responded, easing into the seat so Taemin could lie easily.
“Yah, why are you smiling like that?”
Taemin wanted to bind Key’s mouth together for eternity.
After awhile, the novelty of being in a steam train wore off into a gruelling boredom. The train had a heater so they took off their jackets, JongHyun making Minho deposit them in the bag holders above the carriage.
JongHyun had spoken about his height sadly and bluntly hinting about how ‘everyone is blessed with certain attributes and it is our duty to bless others with it’. Minho had listened amusedly, automatically taking everyone’s jacket and moving out of the carriage.
As the boy reached above, his long sleeved V-neck was pulled up, navy blue giving way to tanned skin and sharp hipbones and Taemin couldn’t look away.
“You just didn’t want to leave your seat,” Minho stated when he stepped back into the carriage.
“Well, that too,” JongHyun admitted smugly.
Soon, Key had fallen asleep with an eyemask over his face, Jinki dozing, thumb still in the pages of his book. JongHyun was listening to his newest track, head resting on Key’s shoulder, ‘Hot Times’ playing softly in the background.
Taemin peeked underneath the drawn curtains (Jinki hyung wanted to sleep and the snowglare was too bright), feeling the dusty fabric scuffing the back of his neck. It was an expanse of white outside, with dark greens poking out in places when the train chugged past. Snow drifted slowly from above and the sky was a misty blue. Taemin breathed and the window fogged. He allowed his eyes to trail the bump of mountains, going from zenith to nadir, blocked by snow covered forests. They zoomed past sledges sometimes, and little villages with Christmas lights glowing.
A gentle weight rested atop his head and the window fogged in front of his eyes. There wasn’t nervousness or jittery feelings. It was comfortable and warm and Taemin hummed lightly.
“Strawberry-filled cookies right?” Minho’s voice deep and low behind his head and Taemin had to suppress a shiver.
“I like those,” Taemin looked at the older boy’s reflection in the window. “Why?”
“Snack cart.”
As Taemin ducked his head out from under the curtains, he noticed Minho’s hands holding his shoulders. He ignored the fluttery feeling in his chest, watching his hyung getting out of his seat to pull the door open for a plump lady waiting outside.
After consuming two and a half cookies (he fed Minho half of his last one), and cracking up at Key’s disgusted expression when JongHyun pushed a chocolate éclair into his face, Taemin had begun feeling sleepy. Jinki had slept through the entire tea, waking up to disappointment with the absence of chicken, promptly returning to sleep in protest.
“Hyung, I’m bored,” Taemin said. He didn’t understand why his hyungs slept so much. Key had one of JongHyun’s ear pieces in his ear and they were sleeping. Why they listened to music sleeping, Taemin wasn’t sure.
When Minho didn’t respond, Taemin proceeded to pinching his cheeks gently, tugging it back and forth. The way the older boy’s eyebrows arched up towards each other as he cracked a sleeping eye open made him appear incredibly adorable. Not that Taemin would ever admit that. He was the maknae, he was supposed to be the cutest.
He wondered if his hyung was completely stupid or something. Taemin’s face was pushed down into Minho’s chest, another large hand on his right shoulder blade, and he felt his face burn. Hazelnut was strong and it was impossibly comfortable but - did Minho seriously not know of Taemin’s feelings for him?
“Hyung,” Taemin’s voice was muffled in the fabric and his hands registered the toned flesh underneath.
The pressure on his head loosened and he raised his head, glaring at Minho whom grinned sleepily down at him.
In the end Taemin had managed to get things his way, with Minho needing to bring the Ipad his fans bought for his birthday down from the bag holder so they could watch a movie together.
“What would you like to watch?” Taemin snuggled into the older boy, feeling courageous. He might be getting the JongHyun skinship disease.
“Tangled,” He said, regarding the movie poster on the Ipad screen. Honestly, he wasn’t even interested.
“Seriously?”
Glancing up at Minho, whom was looking at him with a bit of disbelief, eyes twinkling, Taemin couldn’t help but let a snort escape his mouth. He nodded earnestly, making Minho frown at him suspiciously before tapping on the icon.
It was either him being extremely malicious, or Minho being overly cute, but Taemin simply had needed to see his hyung sitting through a movie he knows he’d find completely boring just to appease him.
He couldn’t anyway. He fell asleep with his head on Minho’s lap.
Getting up and squeezing through the confines of the steam engine’s corridor was as fast as it was difficult. Soon, the SM Entertainment artists were on the snow, boots sinking into cold. They had trudged up a hill and reached the ski resort, a large wooden cabin of sorts, with three levels. A holly was hung outside the door and when Taemin stepped into the resort, warmth welcomed him and he made a beeline for the hearth.
The slight commotion by patrons at the arrival of the artists was hurriedly quelled by SM representatives. Taemin discreetly autographed a girl’s shoe though, when she tapped him nicely in front of the fire. Plush armchairs surrounded the hearth, while a bar counter laid in front of the door. There were long tables beyond the bar counter and everything was in a cosy orange glow, thick rugs and Christmas decoration.
“Hyung, can we hang our socks here?” Taemin had asked Key, whom joined him at the fire, dabbing moisturiser on his face.
“Taemin, there is a ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine nine chance that Santa will not give you anything,” The diva replied.
He huffed and stalked off to explore the Christmas tree in the corner of the common room. Before he could smell if the stringed popcorn was real popcorn, Jinki had gathered them and led them up to their room. It was at the far end of the second level, left door, while Jinki gets the one opposite.
Entering, Taemin stood in appreciation for a moment. The room was furnished with lacquered wood, big fluffy beds tucked in the corner, with a miniature counter and fridge beside the entrance and a toilet behind. Little wooden figurines of Christmas were protected behind a glass case, spotlights displaying it, and a television set was placed in front of the beds.
Dashing for the bed at the corner, Taemin claimed it, bouncing up and down happily. He wanted to sleep beside the window, where he can have the entire view of the skiing villa and the people snowboarding. Cable cars rode the skies above the pine trees and Taemin took it all in.
Until the bed sank and strong arms wrapped around his waist, flipping him onto his back. Taemin struggled and kicked the air, a familiar heat below him and he knew it was Minho even before the boy laughed, loud and clear in his ears.
“What if hyung wants the window?”
“No, it’s mine!”
It was tiring to keep up the fight so Taemin conceded, laying back against Minho, panting. He glared when he saw JongHyun watching them contentedly, leaning against the counter.
“JongHyun hyung, help me,” He whined. Minho wasn’t letting go.
“But the two of you look so cute like that,” JongHyun teased.
Taemin huffed, exasperated and dropped his head backwards. Then an idea hit him. He began shaking his head, letting the ends of his hair tickle Minho’s face and sure enough, the older boy let go of him with a cry, wiping and spitting out hair on the bed.
“Unpack! Unpack!” Key scolded when he returned to the room with their cardkey.
On his knees, Taemin fell across Minho’s stomach, the entire bed shifting with the weight, a soft (but really sexy to him) grunt coming from the older boy’s throat. Dragging his bag towards him, he began unpacking.
“Taemin-ah, I can’t unpack with you like this,” Minho complained.
JongHyun’s laugh rang through the room when Taemin pretended not to hear his hyung, ignoring Key bustling about.
After unpacking sloppily, clothes still sprawled over the bed, much to the displeasure of Key, Taemin had shrugged on his jacket and boots, clambering down the steps and outside. Super Junior sunbaes were already down, flinging snowballs at one another. Taemin beamed at the sight, then something cold and hard struck his face. He staggered, glancing around to find Soshi noonas and Jinki cracking up. Soon, the entire SM family was in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other, squealing and shrieking and laughing.
Mist puffed with each of Taemin’s breaths and he found a quick respite by hiding behind a tree, watching Jessica’s thrown projectile soar lowly through the air and falling to the ground miserably, not even touching her target. The girls from f(x) were winning at this though, they chucked snowball after snowball with tremendous force and even Leeteuk had scurried away from them after they pounded Eunhyuk into a pile of snow.
Soon, the sky had turned orange and mostly everyone was recovering on the snow, exhausted from the game. Taemin had snow in his hair and trapped in his jacket’s hood but he didn’t mind. He didn’t even mind the fact that he was sitting with people he’s never tried initiating conversations with. After all, it was a vacation and they were out to celebrate Christmas together. Minho had took the game seriously, bits of white caught in his hair, and he probably didn’t notice it himself but Taemin saw how people avoided throwing snowballs at him. He laughed.
Going back to their rooms to wear something more casual, everyone returned and gathered about the long tables that had food laid out. Taemin sat down quickly, beside Minho and there was a noisy screeching of chairs as everybody settled down. Then an SM representative gave a speech that was so general it slipped past Taemin. There were butterscotch waffles and honey glazed chicken in front of him and jingle bells in the background.
And when they were finally allowed to eat, there was chattering like a family and the clink of metal on porcelain. Taemin’s arm would brush against Minho’s and the older boy would spear extra chicken and place it on his plate and he’d pick up all the little things like that. Super Junior sunbaes began playing charades at the front and everyone joined in and even the bartender stopped wiping glasses for a moment to watch them, smiling and entertained.
Tomorrow was Christmas eve.
Waking up after a long sleep was one of the best feelings Taemin has ever experienced. But he had woken up to an empty bed. He finds out later on at breakfast that Minho had spent the night in Super Junior’s room. As crestfallen as he was angry, Taemin kept quiet. He had always kept quiet.
Bumping into Minho in the morning along the corridor, he was terse. The older boy was making for their room, hand sliding along the wooden wall when Taemin met him halfway.
“Morning,” Minho had offered, sleep in his voice.
Nodding unnaturally, Taemin brushed past him, not once looking back.
Breakfast was scrumptious and although their manager disapproved of the diet, Jinki had promised him that he would make SHINee put in extra hours at the gym. When Key and JongHyun gave Minho scathing and disappointed looks respectively, Taemin had acted normal. He force fed Jinki toast and ham, drank out of JongHyun’s orange juice and mixed barbeque sauce into Key’s potato salad when he wasn’t looking. Taemin was the maknae that listened to his hyungs.
However, when Minho slid him the last slice of turkey, he had left it untouched.
Taemin had no idea how to ski, or snowboard. But he was skiing just because there were two sticks and he thought it would be easier. Minho was with him in the beginning, and then there was this shouting of his name and ‘competition’ was somewhere along the sentence and now Taemin was alone on the snow. He tried moving but his skis kept overlapping and knocking into each other and he kept falling down. It was like having huge feet.
So, after an hour of trying, Taemin had decided that sitting down and building a snowman would be much more productive.
“Why aren’t you playing?”
Patting down part of his snowman’s body, he glanced up, seeing Jessica bending over him, expression inquisitive.
“I can’t ski,” He admitted, pressing the big snowball into the ground.
“Neither can I,” She said, sitting down beside him and collecting snow with her hands.
They moulded snow in silence for awhile, Taemin kneading white between his fingers. He looked up when Jessica rolled him a snowball, watching him serenely.
“That’s the snowman’s head. You can’t make a head like that.”
Then he noticed he was crushing the cold between his fingers before shoving it back together and crushing it again.
“Something wrong?”
Placing Jessica’s snowball above his previously made one, he chewed his lip, facing her.
“Jessica noona, I don’t want to waste Christmas.”
“You’re here spending it with us, aren’t you?” She playfully flicked snow into his face.
“It’s not that...” Taemin was doubtful if he should confide in her. They were never particularly close but it’s been bugging him. Maybe it would be good to get it off his chest. “What would you do if you liked someone?”
The girl pulled her knees to her chest, humming as she thought about it.
“Tell him, I guess.”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“Then move on. Settle for less. Be friends.”
Sounds of ice crushing came from behind. He turned around, seeing Minho ambling towards him, face flushed from the cold, a wide grin on his face, hat hiding the short spikes Taemin loved.
“So you won?” Taemin asked, instantly smiling when Minho nodded earnestly, innocent and child-like. The older boy bowed toward Jessica and she waved carelessly.
“Tired of skiing?” Minho asked, sitting down.
“I don’t know how to.”
A sharp scream pierced the air and their heads spun about, trying to find the source. Jessica burst out laughing, breathless gasp after breathless gasp, getting up and trudging towards Sooyoung, whom seemed to have fallen flat on her face.
“Come on,” Taemin snapped his attention back to a standing Minho, offering a hand. “I’ll teach you.”
It was a great time with Minho telling him to straighten his back and bend his knees, collapsing sideways into his arms, or if he went too fast, into freezing white. They laughed and bumped into each other multiple times, and after crossing half of the entire villa, Taemin could finally manage to ski midway down the beginner’s slope.
Like this morning never happened.
Because of his winter cap, Minho couldn’t ruffle his hair and instead patted his head. It was hard and painful and Taemin would give the older boy a complaining look. Minho would laugh and squeeze his shoulders, massaging it ticklish and Taemin would squirm out of his grasp.
In the common room, there were freshly baked cookies and cups of milk on the bar counter. Taemin was magnetically attracted to the stockings that now hung above the fire place, pulling on each of them lightly. The artists mingled around, lounging all over the seats and there were Christmas staples playing in the air.
The party soon began, with a huge roasted turkey placed in the centre of each table, drumlets at the sides together with potato salad and apple pie. There were yam-filled pastries and even chocolate fondue and Taemin was exercising immense self-control not to raid the whole table. The poise of the artists soon dissolved when wine was introduced, red and flavourful and completely illegal for Taemin. He had been caught trying to drink from JongHyun’s cup, or Sunny’s cup, by Minho, arm around his shoulder leading him away from the prize.
Chairs in the lounge were pushed aside for a makeshift dance floor and Super Junior began hosting ‘SM Town Ski Resort’, dragging BoA up and forcing her to perform Hurricane Venus. Taemin sat on the floor and laughed along with them, pressing his side into Minho and enjoying the warmth between them.
Somehow, the concert had turned into Music Bank when Taeyeon, a little drunk, took over emceeing duties. Upon the announcement of special stages, half the guys from Super Junior went up and did an awful rendition of Sorry Sorry, bumping into each other and mixing up the moves until everyone was dissolving in laughter and even SNSD performed Tell Me Your Wish (with Jinki and Key as guest performers) without much precision.
By the time the fireplace was roaring, half of the artists were drunk. Sunny was still downing alcohol like a boss, which Taemin observed enviously. Minho had said it wasn’t much of an ability and he shouldn’t worry about that - but it was still cool when he watched Sunny emptying jug after jug, giggling tipsily but never once tripping.
“Now...” Leeteuk drawled, eyes searching the audience for a target. They widened at Taemin. “Inkigayo, special stage! Taemin!”
“Inkigayo doesn’t have special stage!” Somebody yelled and there was a soft toy that flew to Leeteuk’s head.
Taemin stood up and everyone cheered and it felt like Christmas because everyone was so happy. Somebody began beat boxing and Taemin got into the beat, popping and locking and moon walking while the artists catcalled. He quickly sat down afterwards, embarrassed, Minho messing up his hair.
“Special stage! Minho’s rap!”
Grinning at his hyung, whom had an incredulous expression on his face, Taemin jabbed his side playfully. Flinching from the ticklish spot, Minho got up. Taemin bit his lip to keep from cracking up.
He watched as the older boy took a deep breath, rapping Forest of Fantasy by K-Flow (not that Taemin knew the title, he had asked Minho after), and it was as if he stopped and Minho was looking at him and pointing at him and winking and tilting his head, standing sideways facing him and at the end when everyone, drunk or sober, cheered, Taemin was wondering if he was just imagining things or if Minho was seriously just focusing on him.
“You did great!” He chirped above Leeteuk’s boisterous hosting.
“Really?” Minho’s smile was infectious and Taemin nodded.
When the fire began dying, most of the artists were singing along to carols, contented from their spot on the floor and even Taemin found himself singing the words to 12 Days of Christmas, snuggled into Minho’s shoulder, warm and comforting, their socked toes fighting. Gingerbread men were passed around together with jugs of milk. Key and JongHyun danced to the slow carol, in each other’s arms, the diva giggling deliriously while JongHyun was gentler than Taemin had ever seen.
The fire gave an orange glow and it was a cosy Christmas eve. Some continued talking in corners; like BoA, still looking like a queen as she chatted animatedly with Tiffany and Yunho.
The moment Leeteuk crashed, the makeshift SM Concert stopped and Minho had went upstairs, telling Taemin to wait for him.
There was a thumping as Minho bounded down the stairs in his winter jacket, holding Taemin’s. He scrambled over when the older boy beamed, cocking his head towards the door.
“Where are we going?” Taemin asked as he zipped the puffy jacket up.
“You’ll see.”
It was dark and the snow seemed to glow blue under the moonlight. Strange sounds could be heard at night as Taemin was led by Minho through the cold, boots sinking into snow. An owl, the howling of wind.
Looking up, Taemin found the sky spotted with stars and halted, wanting to appreciate it. Minho tugged on his arm gently and he pouted, reluctantly ambling behind the older boy. They climbed the side of a hill of sorts, with a shelter or something at the peak. Taemin couldn’t see it properly in the dark.
Minho slowed down, holding Taemin by the shoulders and walking at a slow pace.
“Cable car,” The older boy said.
“What?” Taemin gaped as they stepped into the shelter, yellow lights revealing an empty red cable car. A grumpy looking station master nodded at Minho, giving them entry into the cable car on standby.
“Don’t we have to pay?” Taemin asked uncertainly as they stepped into the cable car, the door sliding shut with a hiss.
“The entire villa is ours, remember?” He slapped Minho’s hand that was tweaking his nose.
Rushing over to the windows of the cable car, the stars twinkled at him and a sea of pine trees and snow stretched below him. In the horizon, at the peak of mountains, there was a soft ethereal glow and the moon was full and bright.
“Taemin,” He returned his attention to Minho, falling into the seat from his knees on his butt.
Pursed lips, Minho was looking away, deep in thought. Taemin watched him quietly, the situation of being in an enclosed area with his hyung striking him for the first time.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been a good hyung lately,” Minho raised his eyes, meeting Taemin’s and his heart stopped for a second.
“Huh,” Taemin said, suddenly interested in the floor, scuffing his heel.
Silence filled the space between them and it seemed as if Minho wasn’t going to say another thing.
“Do you really?” He said, voice small. He knew the older boy didn’t but he wanted assurance.
“What?”
“Do you really want to be part of them?” Taemin faced him, feeling as if he was looking at a stranger in Minho’s clothes, in that beige jacket he wore. “Super Junior.”
The older boy seemed taken aback with the question, before his eyes softened - and that made Taemin angrier.
“No, I -”
“Don’t treat me like a kid,” He hissed.
“Taemin,” Minho began, slight worry in his tone.
“Don’t lie to me.”
It was coming out. Everything - in one giant wave.
“I’m part of SHINee -”
“You’re always with sunbaenims. Always with them whenever you can like they’re more important to you than us,” There was hurt in the way Minho’s shoulders sank and Taemin felt vicious satisfaction.
“I look up to them,” Minho explained. Taemin glanced away, feeling the older boy’s eyes burning into his face.
“You don’t even come back for dinner sometimes,” Taemin glared at Minho, feeling fury building up inside of him and spilling out in fast, angry words. “Do you know how much we miss you? How much I miss you?”
“I would never leave SHINee.”
“How can you leave when you’re not even here half of the time anymore?”
He had gone too far. Taemin left the sentence hanging, whispered from his lips nearly inaudible and he could feel the sting.
“Is this what all this is about?” Minho asked quietly. “Me not coming back for dinner anymore?”
Taemin didn’t reply.
“So you want me to stop talking to the sunbaenims?”
Scoffing disbelievingly, Taemin stood up, pacing about - away from Minho, blinking back tears. He went to the corner of the cable car, watching little orange lights from the streets below them. There was a soft sound of fabric rubbing against each other and Taemin swallowed.
“No.”
“What is it?” Minho’s voice came, nearer to him and Taemin spun around furiously.
“Don’t you get it?” He shouted, the older boy stopping in his tracks. “It’s you.”
“No, I don’t,” Minho said, frowning.
“You’re not even here,” Taemin said, a tear escaping an eye and he cursed mentally. “With me.”
He was trapped between the glass panel and Minho’s body and he wiped his face roughly, glaring at his hyung.
“You’re leaving me.”
Large hands wrapped around his shoulders firmly and Minho bent down. It was sudden and Taemin’s heart caught in his throat when he realised their faces were too close and he could see the way Minho’s eyebrows creased together in a frown and their lips brushed. Taemin felt lightheaded. His feet were floating.
“You can’t expect me to forgive you,” Taemin breathed shakily, confused between being angry and the butterflies in his stomach.
“No, but I want you to believe in me,” Minho said it so sincerely, it was impossible not to trust him and Taemin felt relieved and he felt like crying but he wasn’t going to appear weak, not now, not in front of him.
“You’re still going to be away all the time,” He couldn’t keep the whine out of his voice, or stop it from cracking, and now he was more frustrated at himself than at the way Minho smirked.
“But I’ll never leave. Not SHINee, not you.”
When they finally returned to the resort yesterday, everyone had retreated back to their rooms. The clock struck twelve and the cuckoo sprang out, startling Taemin so badly he yelped, causing Minho to laugh so hard he backed up against a wall. Unhappy at being the only one who was surprised, Taemin stormed up to Minho, putting both arms beside his hyung, glaring up at the taller boy.
His skin burned when large hands wound around his waist, Minho pecking his forehead.
“What does this make us?” Taemin had asked, breathing in hazelnut.
“Good question,” Somehow they had ended up swaying gently to the soft music in the background. “I’m not sure.”
“...That was pretty crazy,” Taemin said, resting his head on Minho’s chest. “Kissing me like that.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Minho’s voice rumbled beneath his ear. “I can’t even remember when these feelings came.”
“Wanna know something?” Stretching his neck, he placed his chin in the cleft of Minho’s chest, looking upwards. The older boy raised his eyebrows. “I’ve always liked you.”
Minho had laughed then, ruffling his hair and detaching away. Taemin let the older boy pull him by the wrist up the wooden stairs, taking careful steps in near darkness.
“Hyung?”
The shadow of the boy’s head shifted and Taemin knew Minho was looking at him.
“Merry Christmas.”
Creeping down the same wooden steps he had sneaked up with Minho yesterday night, anticipation threatened to explode from Taemin’s chest. It was a white Christmas morning and Taemin had slinked out of bed, cautiously picking off Minho’s arm wrapped around him so as to not wake the older boy.
There were presents underneath the tree and Taemin’s eyes widened, leaping off the last few steps and landing with a loud thud, shuffling over to the tree and rifling through the boxes to find his name.
Padding of footsteps. Taemin glanced behind him to see Seohyun and Jino rubbing sleep from their eyes. He grinned.
“Presents!”
People thought that considering the schedule artists have, they’d never pass up the chance to get a few more hours of sleep. But when Jino ripped down the corridors and upstairs yelling for ‘JongHyun hyung’ and ‘KyuHyun hyung’ and ‘presents’, doors had burst open and there was a stampede of SM Entertainment’s A-list artists.
The common room was instantly filled with artists in pyjamas clambering in, all bed hair with no makeup, unbelievably awake, gasping and hollering above one another, rifling through the pile of presents below the tree so vigorously the tree began tilting off balance. Taeyeon had screamed when the heavy tree began falling, getting behind it and shoving with what little strength she had. Taemin promptly got up on his feet and it was suddenly an SM effort to save the falling tree.
After the ornament was rescued, everyone laughed and dove back into the presents, comparing gifts and hugging each other, giving thanks and exchanging sappy words saved only for Christmas. There was the smell of freshly baked bread and stomachs grumbled and the air was tingling with good cheer and there was an occasional shriek when someone found a present that they’ve always been wanting - like when some guy in Super Junior found out he had received a PS3 soccer game.
Long legs (in teddy bear pyjamas) came up on either side of Taemin and he reflexively leaned back into a familiar heat, inhaling hazelnut and feeling a nose sniff the top of his head. Reaching out, Taemin passed Minho a blue wrapped package, relaxing in his hold.
“You’re so wonderfully warm,” Taemin said, closing his eyes as he settled into Minho.
“You’re so wonderfully small.”
Taemin’s mouth dropped open, scampering away from Minho and sitting at his heels, facing him.
“I’m not small!”
There was too much activity going on and nobody paid them any attention and there, with the winter sun casting a soft halo over Minho, mussed hair and sleepy eyed decked in teddy bear pyjamas, Taemin desperately wanted to crawl back into his arms.
Minho chuckled and pulled on his arm gently. Taemin gave in and fell back into the older boy, soft rug tickling his ankles where his pants rode up. There was the sound of Minho breathing him in at his neck and he briefly registered a carol playing in the background, warm voices of SM artists laughing and playing just like a family, gingerbread men and candy canes and hazelnut in the air, and Taemin closed his eyes.
“Taemin-ah,” His favourite baritone voice rumbled behind his ear. “Merry Christmas.”
Author: heehe
Pairing: 2min, ninja!jongkey
Rating/Genre: PG-13/ fluff
Word Count: ~7, 000
Summary: Taemin keeps it in, everything. But this Christmas, he wasn't going to waste it.
A/N: Omg I don't know what to write here. T-T Thanks chaeii for reading this. <3 I hope it's not too bad and have a merry Christmas everyone. :D
Ski Resort
The thing about SM Entertainment was that it was ruthless in work. It has brought up A-list artists with its superior star system, with vigorous training that has left many trainees crying every night, with exceptional choreographers, composers, and public image trainers. Even after debut, the company worked you to the bones. Comeback stage after comeback stage, multiple fan signings a day, radio shows, more stages, overseas promotions, variety shows - and in the middle of it all, they force a new track on you, a new dance, so your hiatus period between goodbye stage and comeback stage is kept as short as possible.
Expose you, expose your group, gain popularity, and skyrocket.
That was the case for Taemin’s Soshi noonas and he would feel his heart hurt at how fatigued they looked backstage, flashing a bright smile towards everyone, but bags under their eyes visible without makeup. His noonas had managed to put three songs into a year of music bank.
SHINee didn’t have it easy either. Each of his hyungs were busy with their own schedules. Jinki with his musical, JongHyun with SM The Ballad, Minho with Dream Team, Key and him appearing on variety shows. They try not to tire Taemin out, giving him slightly lighter schedules than his hyungs, but that was only because he wasn’t studying in university yet.
More often than not, they wouldn’t be able to have family time in the evening now. Either one person or the other still caught in rehearsal or filming or other kinds of impediments, and SHINee was left with a gaping hole in the living room of the dorm. When Key was around, it was much better for Taemin. Key would whip up delicious meals and force them to eat and it would almost feel like they were together again, back in Yuhanam.
But somewhere along the struggle to stardom, Taemin stopped waiting up for Minho. He had always waited up for his hyung, under the pretence of studying, but now he’d much rather retreat to his room and lay on his bed. It probably began that one time, when Taemin was so tired he went to bed first, but not before sleeping, overhearing Key and Minho arguing softly in the living room.
“What is this? How can they film all of you into the middle of the night?” Key’s voice floated underneath the door.
Taemin’s eyes snapped open then, grip on his quilt tightening as he strained to listen.
“Filming ended early. I was with Super Junior sunbaes.”
“Drinking?” A slight edge crept into Key’s tone.
He could hear his own breathing in the silence that ensued and Taemin felt a spark of anger.
“What about us, Minho-ah?”
Sounds of a bag unzipping, plastic crumpling, light footsteps.
“We don’t even get the chance to eat together anymore.”
Enough. Taemin had heard enough, rolling over on his side and suffocating his head with the blanket. Minho cares for SHINee, that much was certain - but just for once, Taemin would imagine he didn’t, that all along he would prefer to be part of Super Junior, joking and laughing and pushing with Eunhyuk or whomever and Taemin wouldn’t care. He’d walk past Minho without a second glance, regarding him as a colleague, cold and platonic.
Oh, who was he kidding?
A hard, hollow bump made Taemin jump, fumbling around in the darkness and sitting upright. Their leader’s head popped into the room.
“Jinki hyung?” Taemin asked, annoyed. His heart was pumping hard from the shock.
“Ah, Taemin-ah, sorry, I tripped,” Jinki explained, closing the door behind him, the light spilling from the living room folding into itself. “Did I wake you?”
“Not really,” He relaxed into the mattress as the leader sat on the edge of his bed.
The soft light from underneath the door made shadows stretch across Jinki’s face, turning him nearly ghostly.
“You heard Kibum and Minho talking?”
“Fighting,” Taemin corrected, earning a small smile from Jinki, whom patted his head gently.
“They aren’t - ”
“Sometimes I wonder if you even remember that you belong to SHINee or not!” Key shrilled from outside.
Jinki tensed, hand stopping in Taemin’s hair.
“Kibum-ah, calm down,” Minho’s deep voice said, composed.
“Sometimes, I wonder - I really do - if you think that somehow, maybe, one day, by spending so much time with Super Junior, that you’d actually become one of them.”
“H-hey,” JongHyun spoke up meekly.
Taemin felt his mattress rising, Jinki smiled reassuringly at him but even in the half-light, there was an anxiousness in the jerky way his leader moved.
“Sleep,” The bespectacled adult said before walking out of the room quietly.
A loud slam of the door. Hollow sounds of something colliding hard with wood.
“Kibum!” Jinki’s voice sounded.
Taemin closed his eyes and turned over, heart pounding too fast to sleep, but not awake enough to deal with this. He wouldn’t speak. He never said anything, so he’d keep quiet. The maknae that listens to his hyungs.
That’s what Minho told Taemin to be.
He was sure Minho noticed him not staying up any longer. No more glass of milk and little hug waiting for him. Taemin didn’t mind the sweat and smell on Minho when he returned from Dream Team, or the excessive amounts of cologne the stylist douses him with. He liked the warmth. But Taemin was still a kid wasn’t he?
Deep inside, secretly, he had hoped Minho would get angry. Yell at him even, “why don’t you wait for me anymore?”. Of course his hyung wouldn’t have done that, too well-mannered to behave in such a way.
What frustrated him was how Minho seemed to ‘understand’ him.
‘Understood’ in the sense that Taemin was 'exhausted and had to rest'. It made the boy want to strangle Minho.
Late nights spent rolling around restlessly on his mattress would wind up in hearing the door unlocking softly. A few homely noises, rustling of fabric, bag unzipping, padding of feet. The spray of water down the corridor and Taemin would feel his eyelids drooping by then. The door would open soon, hazelnut wafting up his nose and Taemin would find himself thinking, in his semi-conscious state: look at me, look at my back turned to you, look at me leaning close to the wall. I don’t care about you. Look at me, look!
His mattress would sink, every single damn time, and a large hand would smooth the side of his head, sometimes settling onto his shoulder. It would linger there and he could see the way the older boy watched him, a soft smile on his lips and eyes reflecting a simple joy and concern.
Taemin wasn't tired, goddamn.
Even if he was angry, in the morning at breakfast, Taemin wouldn’t say a thing. He would ask for jam and give thanks for the food and feed Jinki buttered toast and steal JongHyun’s orange juice. He would complain about a pancake shortage and force Key to make more and he would gobble up the extra slice of pancake Minho slides on his plate.
Nobody would know.
Despite being extremely career-oriented, SM Entertainment does take care of their artists, and when the year was coming to an end, Jinki had barged into the dorm, short of breath and doubling over.
“Chased by fans?” Minho asked, smiling slightly, eyes never leaving the television screen as he controlled his soccer character. Taemin was watching beside him, knees pulled close to his chest.
Actually, he was watching Minho from his peripheral vision, taking in the way the corner of the older boy’s eyes creased when he smiled.
“We have a vacation!” Jinki exclaimed.
And with that sentence, Taemin’s head snapped towards the leader. Minho lost possession of the virtual ball, immediately pausing it and looking at Jinki. There was a loud clattering in the kitchen as Key stumbled out in an apron while a bedroom door lashed open, JongHyun’s eyes wide.
“Really?” JongHyun asked, already grinning.
When Jinki nodded, there was chaos with Key clasping hands with JongHyun, screaming incoherently, jumping on the spot and then rushing over to embrace their leader. Taemin had felt like he lost a step, the lurching in his stomach quickly turning into relief and elation and he watched Minho slowly leaning back against the couch, arms relaxing with the game controller nearly dropping out of his hands, the creases deepening.
Blood beating in his ears, Taemin mentally debated grabbing Minho’s arm, the happiness and relief of a break in a long time being a good cover for his hidden affections. As his hands moved, completely unnatural, Key called.
“Oh, come over here you two,” The diva had said in the middle of hugging.
Minho glanced at Taemin, grinning. A large hand wrapping around his wrist and dragged him off the couch and for a moment, his heart froze and everything turned a warm shade of orange.
He was trapped between Minho and Key in the group hug, yelling their cheer out. And it was Yuhanam again, where hazelnut was always beside him, and he was happy.
“Taemin!”
Turning around, he was engulfed by a mass of hair, sweet perfume crawling up his nose. The woman detached herself and held him at arms length.
“Taeyeon noona!”
SM artists were at the train station, managers running about with a few bodyguards, barking into their phones. His own manager was on edge today, resulting in Key and him having a shouting match outside the dorm on the issue of the amount of luggage the diva was bringing.
There was clicking in the air all the time, and the occasional flash that left Taemin cross eyed. An SM representative would dress the photographer down harshly. Strictly no flash photography.
Personally, Taemin was very excited for this trip. They were taking a steam train, in the middle of winter, towards the ski resort the company had booked for them. Having never taken a ride on any steam engine, nor gone skiing before, he was looking forward to it.
Eight other women surrounded him soon, pinching his cheeks and combing his hair with thin fingers. He liked the Soshi noonas, although Key said they pampered him too much. An arm wound around his shoulders, an arm too rough and bulky to be one of the girls’, winter wear awkwardly big between the contact.
“Minho-ah, did you pack enough clothes for your dongsaeng?” Taeyeon checked. Taemin stiffened at the name, glancing up at the boy.
The taller boy pursed his lips to stifle a laugh, nodding, and Taemin felt a hand ruffling his hair.
“I can pack my clothes myself!” He piped up, indignant at being treated like a child. Some of the girls laughed and waved, moving away to greet other artists.
Taeyeon leaned close and whispered, “It’s not like you mind.”
Flushing, he averted his eyes to the ground, hearing SNSD’s leader telling Minho that they’ll see each other later with a clearly entertained tone.
When she left, Taemin found the courage to glance up at Minho. The older boy looked at him questioningly, wondering what Taeyeon had whispered. Taemin shook his head quickly, glad that everybody’s cheeks were red with the cold.
“Manager’s gathering us,” Taemin felt Minho steering him into motion, hand still on his head.
Feeling bold, he spoke after hesitating for a second.
“Minho hyung,” The aforementioned gave him full attention, stopping, and Taemin’s insides wriggled. “Can I sit with you in the train?”
Taemin grinned when Minho laughed, hand ruffling his hair again.
The corridor was extremely cramped. Everyone had to walk in a single file to their carriage. Taemin could barely take in his surroundings with people pushing against each other accidentally. He caught glimpses of lacquered wood and dirty glass making up part of the carriage sliding door. Super Junior took up the front part of the train, with their number of members, together with Jino (clinging onto Kyuhyun), followed by BoA, TVXQ, SNSD, f(x) and finally SHINee.
Apparently Key had chosen the last carriage in the train because it was closer to the washroom. Taemin was glad though, he couldn’t imagine squeezing his way through the narrow corridor with his bladder bursting. Also, much to their relief, the managers sat right at front with the rest of SM Entertainment’s representatives; which meant they wouldn’t be hawked upon.
Being led by Key into their carriage (whom slid the door open with a wet wipe), Taemin found it surprisingly cosy, with a short table between two red velvet bench seats that sunk a great deal when he sat. Unknowingly, he had pulled Minho by the wrist into the seat. Only when Taemin wanted to bring both hands to the window to wave at the fans did he realise one of them was gripping Minho.
Letting go quickly, Taemin moved his hands back and forth into the window, hoping none of the hyungs saw that, or thought anything of it. The fans outside jumped, pointing at him and cameras trained on him. Returning his attention to the inside of the carriage, Key was drawing out another wet wipe from a pack to clean the table with. JongHyun and Minho were engaged in a conversation about snowboarding while Jinki was engrossed in a book.
He pressed into Minho’s side tentatively, amidst the hyungs’ serious discussion, and grinned when the boy responded, easing into the seat so Taemin could lie easily.
“Yah, why are you smiling like that?”
Taemin wanted to bind Key’s mouth together for eternity.
After awhile, the novelty of being in a steam train wore off into a gruelling boredom. The train had a heater so they took off their jackets, JongHyun making Minho deposit them in the bag holders above the carriage.
JongHyun had spoken about his height sadly and bluntly hinting about how ‘everyone is blessed with certain attributes and it is our duty to bless others with it’. Minho had listened amusedly, automatically taking everyone’s jacket and moving out of the carriage.
As the boy reached above, his long sleeved V-neck was pulled up, navy blue giving way to tanned skin and sharp hipbones and Taemin couldn’t look away.
“You just didn’t want to leave your seat,” Minho stated when he stepped back into the carriage.
“Well, that too,” JongHyun admitted smugly.
Soon, Key had fallen asleep with an eyemask over his face, Jinki dozing, thumb still in the pages of his book. JongHyun was listening to his newest track, head resting on Key’s shoulder, ‘Hot Times’ playing softly in the background.
Taemin peeked underneath the drawn curtains (Jinki hyung wanted to sleep and the snowglare was too bright), feeling the dusty fabric scuffing the back of his neck. It was an expanse of white outside, with dark greens poking out in places when the train chugged past. Snow drifted slowly from above and the sky was a misty blue. Taemin breathed and the window fogged. He allowed his eyes to trail the bump of mountains, going from zenith to nadir, blocked by snow covered forests. They zoomed past sledges sometimes, and little villages with Christmas lights glowing.
A gentle weight rested atop his head and the window fogged in front of his eyes. There wasn’t nervousness or jittery feelings. It was comfortable and warm and Taemin hummed lightly.
“Strawberry-filled cookies right?” Minho’s voice deep and low behind his head and Taemin had to suppress a shiver.
“I like those,” Taemin looked at the older boy’s reflection in the window. “Why?”
“Snack cart.”
As Taemin ducked his head out from under the curtains, he noticed Minho’s hands holding his shoulders. He ignored the fluttery feeling in his chest, watching his hyung getting out of his seat to pull the door open for a plump lady waiting outside.
After consuming two and a half cookies (he fed Minho half of his last one), and cracking up at Key’s disgusted expression when JongHyun pushed a chocolate éclair into his face, Taemin had begun feeling sleepy. Jinki had slept through the entire tea, waking up to disappointment with the absence of chicken, promptly returning to sleep in protest.
“Hyung, I’m bored,” Taemin said. He didn’t understand why his hyungs slept so much. Key had one of JongHyun’s ear pieces in his ear and they were sleeping. Why they listened to music sleeping, Taemin wasn’t sure.
When Minho didn’t respond, Taemin proceeded to pinching his cheeks gently, tugging it back and forth. The way the older boy’s eyebrows arched up towards each other as he cracked a sleeping eye open made him appear incredibly adorable. Not that Taemin would ever admit that. He was the maknae, he was supposed to be the cutest.
He wondered if his hyung was completely stupid or something. Taemin’s face was pushed down into Minho’s chest, another large hand on his right shoulder blade, and he felt his face burn. Hazelnut was strong and it was impossibly comfortable but - did Minho seriously not know of Taemin’s feelings for him?
“Hyung,” Taemin’s voice was muffled in the fabric and his hands registered the toned flesh underneath.
The pressure on his head loosened and he raised his head, glaring at Minho whom grinned sleepily down at him.
In the end Taemin had managed to get things his way, with Minho needing to bring the Ipad his fans bought for his birthday down from the bag holder so they could watch a movie together.
“What would you like to watch?” Taemin snuggled into the older boy, feeling courageous. He might be getting the JongHyun skinship disease.
“Tangled,” He said, regarding the movie poster on the Ipad screen. Honestly, he wasn’t even interested.
“Seriously?”
Glancing up at Minho, whom was looking at him with a bit of disbelief, eyes twinkling, Taemin couldn’t help but let a snort escape his mouth. He nodded earnestly, making Minho frown at him suspiciously before tapping on the icon.
It was either him being extremely malicious, or Minho being overly cute, but Taemin simply had needed to see his hyung sitting through a movie he knows he’d find completely boring just to appease him.
He couldn’t anyway. He fell asleep with his head on Minho’s lap.
Getting up and squeezing through the confines of the steam engine’s corridor was as fast as it was difficult. Soon, the SM Entertainment artists were on the snow, boots sinking into cold. They had trudged up a hill and reached the ski resort, a large wooden cabin of sorts, with three levels. A holly was hung outside the door and when Taemin stepped into the resort, warmth welcomed him and he made a beeline for the hearth.
The slight commotion by patrons at the arrival of the artists was hurriedly quelled by SM representatives. Taemin discreetly autographed a girl’s shoe though, when she tapped him nicely in front of the fire. Plush armchairs surrounded the hearth, while a bar counter laid in front of the door. There were long tables beyond the bar counter and everything was in a cosy orange glow, thick rugs and Christmas decoration.
“Hyung, can we hang our socks here?” Taemin had asked Key, whom joined him at the fire, dabbing moisturiser on his face.
“Taemin, there is a ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine nine chance that Santa will not give you anything,” The diva replied.
He huffed and stalked off to explore the Christmas tree in the corner of the common room. Before he could smell if the stringed popcorn was real popcorn, Jinki had gathered them and led them up to their room. It was at the far end of the second level, left door, while Jinki gets the one opposite.
Entering, Taemin stood in appreciation for a moment. The room was furnished with lacquered wood, big fluffy beds tucked in the corner, with a miniature counter and fridge beside the entrance and a toilet behind. Little wooden figurines of Christmas were protected behind a glass case, spotlights displaying it, and a television set was placed in front of the beds.
Dashing for the bed at the corner, Taemin claimed it, bouncing up and down happily. He wanted to sleep beside the window, where he can have the entire view of the skiing villa and the people snowboarding. Cable cars rode the skies above the pine trees and Taemin took it all in.
Until the bed sank and strong arms wrapped around his waist, flipping him onto his back. Taemin struggled and kicked the air, a familiar heat below him and he knew it was Minho even before the boy laughed, loud and clear in his ears.
“What if hyung wants the window?”
“No, it’s mine!”
It was tiring to keep up the fight so Taemin conceded, laying back against Minho, panting. He glared when he saw JongHyun watching them contentedly, leaning against the counter.
“JongHyun hyung, help me,” He whined. Minho wasn’t letting go.
“But the two of you look so cute like that,” JongHyun teased.
Taemin huffed, exasperated and dropped his head backwards. Then an idea hit him. He began shaking his head, letting the ends of his hair tickle Minho’s face and sure enough, the older boy let go of him with a cry, wiping and spitting out hair on the bed.
“Unpack! Unpack!” Key scolded when he returned to the room with their cardkey.
On his knees, Taemin fell across Minho’s stomach, the entire bed shifting with the weight, a soft (but really sexy to him) grunt coming from the older boy’s throat. Dragging his bag towards him, he began unpacking.
“Taemin-ah, I can’t unpack with you like this,” Minho complained.
JongHyun’s laugh rang through the room when Taemin pretended not to hear his hyung, ignoring Key bustling about.
After unpacking sloppily, clothes still sprawled over the bed, much to the displeasure of Key, Taemin had shrugged on his jacket and boots, clambering down the steps and outside. Super Junior sunbaes were already down, flinging snowballs at one another. Taemin beamed at the sight, then something cold and hard struck his face. He staggered, glancing around to find Soshi noonas and Jinki cracking up. Soon, the entire SM family was in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other, squealing and shrieking and laughing.
Mist puffed with each of Taemin’s breaths and he found a quick respite by hiding behind a tree, watching Jessica’s thrown projectile soar lowly through the air and falling to the ground miserably, not even touching her target. The girls from f(x) were winning at this though, they chucked snowball after snowball with tremendous force and even Leeteuk had scurried away from them after they pounded Eunhyuk into a pile of snow.
Soon, the sky had turned orange and mostly everyone was recovering on the snow, exhausted from the game. Taemin had snow in his hair and trapped in his jacket’s hood but he didn’t mind. He didn’t even mind the fact that he was sitting with people he’s never tried initiating conversations with. After all, it was a vacation and they were out to celebrate Christmas together. Minho had took the game seriously, bits of white caught in his hair, and he probably didn’t notice it himself but Taemin saw how people avoided throwing snowballs at him. He laughed.
Going back to their rooms to wear something more casual, everyone returned and gathered about the long tables that had food laid out. Taemin sat down quickly, beside Minho and there was a noisy screeching of chairs as everybody settled down. Then an SM representative gave a speech that was so general it slipped past Taemin. There were butterscotch waffles and honey glazed chicken in front of him and jingle bells in the background.
And when they were finally allowed to eat, there was chattering like a family and the clink of metal on porcelain. Taemin’s arm would brush against Minho’s and the older boy would spear extra chicken and place it on his plate and he’d pick up all the little things like that. Super Junior sunbaes began playing charades at the front and everyone joined in and even the bartender stopped wiping glasses for a moment to watch them, smiling and entertained.
Tomorrow was Christmas eve.
Waking up after a long sleep was one of the best feelings Taemin has ever experienced. But he had woken up to an empty bed. He finds out later on at breakfast that Minho had spent the night in Super Junior’s room. As crestfallen as he was angry, Taemin kept quiet. He had always kept quiet.
Bumping into Minho in the morning along the corridor, he was terse. The older boy was making for their room, hand sliding along the wooden wall when Taemin met him halfway.
“Morning,” Minho had offered, sleep in his voice.
Nodding unnaturally, Taemin brushed past him, not once looking back.
Breakfast was scrumptious and although their manager disapproved of the diet, Jinki had promised him that he would make SHINee put in extra hours at the gym. When Key and JongHyun gave Minho scathing and disappointed looks respectively, Taemin had acted normal. He force fed Jinki toast and ham, drank out of JongHyun’s orange juice and mixed barbeque sauce into Key’s potato salad when he wasn’t looking. Taemin was the maknae that listened to his hyungs.
However, when Minho slid him the last slice of turkey, he had left it untouched.
Taemin had no idea how to ski, or snowboard. But he was skiing just because there were two sticks and he thought it would be easier. Minho was with him in the beginning, and then there was this shouting of his name and ‘competition’ was somewhere along the sentence and now Taemin was alone on the snow. He tried moving but his skis kept overlapping and knocking into each other and he kept falling down. It was like having huge feet.
So, after an hour of trying, Taemin had decided that sitting down and building a snowman would be much more productive.
“Why aren’t you playing?”
Patting down part of his snowman’s body, he glanced up, seeing Jessica bending over him, expression inquisitive.
“I can’t ski,” He admitted, pressing the big snowball into the ground.
“Neither can I,” She said, sitting down beside him and collecting snow with her hands.
They moulded snow in silence for awhile, Taemin kneading white between his fingers. He looked up when Jessica rolled him a snowball, watching him serenely.
“That’s the snowman’s head. You can’t make a head like that.”
Then he noticed he was crushing the cold between his fingers before shoving it back together and crushing it again.
“Something wrong?”
Placing Jessica’s snowball above his previously made one, he chewed his lip, facing her.
“Jessica noona, I don’t want to waste Christmas.”
“You’re here spending it with us, aren’t you?” She playfully flicked snow into his face.
“It’s not that...” Taemin was doubtful if he should confide in her. They were never particularly close but it’s been bugging him. Maybe it would be good to get it off his chest. “What would you do if you liked someone?”
The girl pulled her knees to her chest, humming as she thought about it.
“Tell him, I guess.”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“Then move on. Settle for less. Be friends.”
Sounds of ice crushing came from behind. He turned around, seeing Minho ambling towards him, face flushed from the cold, a wide grin on his face, hat hiding the short spikes Taemin loved.
“So you won?” Taemin asked, instantly smiling when Minho nodded earnestly, innocent and child-like. The older boy bowed toward Jessica and she waved carelessly.
“Tired of skiing?” Minho asked, sitting down.
“I don’t know how to.”
A sharp scream pierced the air and their heads spun about, trying to find the source. Jessica burst out laughing, breathless gasp after breathless gasp, getting up and trudging towards Sooyoung, whom seemed to have fallen flat on her face.
“Come on,” Taemin snapped his attention back to a standing Minho, offering a hand. “I’ll teach you.”
It was a great time with Minho telling him to straighten his back and bend his knees, collapsing sideways into his arms, or if he went too fast, into freezing white. They laughed and bumped into each other multiple times, and after crossing half of the entire villa, Taemin could finally manage to ski midway down the beginner’s slope.
Like this morning never happened.
Because of his winter cap, Minho couldn’t ruffle his hair and instead patted his head. It was hard and painful and Taemin would give the older boy a complaining look. Minho would laugh and squeeze his shoulders, massaging it ticklish and Taemin would squirm out of his grasp.
In the common room, there were freshly baked cookies and cups of milk on the bar counter. Taemin was magnetically attracted to the stockings that now hung above the fire place, pulling on each of them lightly. The artists mingled around, lounging all over the seats and there were Christmas staples playing in the air.
The party soon began, with a huge roasted turkey placed in the centre of each table, drumlets at the sides together with potato salad and apple pie. There were yam-filled pastries and even chocolate fondue and Taemin was exercising immense self-control not to raid the whole table. The poise of the artists soon dissolved when wine was introduced, red and flavourful and completely illegal for Taemin. He had been caught trying to drink from JongHyun’s cup, or Sunny’s cup, by Minho, arm around his shoulder leading him away from the prize.
Chairs in the lounge were pushed aside for a makeshift dance floor and Super Junior began hosting ‘SM Town Ski Resort’, dragging BoA up and forcing her to perform Hurricane Venus. Taemin sat on the floor and laughed along with them, pressing his side into Minho and enjoying the warmth between them.
Somehow, the concert had turned into Music Bank when Taeyeon, a little drunk, took over emceeing duties. Upon the announcement of special stages, half the guys from Super Junior went up and did an awful rendition of Sorry Sorry, bumping into each other and mixing up the moves until everyone was dissolving in laughter and even SNSD performed Tell Me Your Wish (with Jinki and Key as guest performers) without much precision.
By the time the fireplace was roaring, half of the artists were drunk. Sunny was still downing alcohol like a boss, which Taemin observed enviously. Minho had said it wasn’t much of an ability and he shouldn’t worry about that - but it was still cool when he watched Sunny emptying jug after jug, giggling tipsily but never once tripping.
“Now...” Leeteuk drawled, eyes searching the audience for a target. They widened at Taemin. “Inkigayo, special stage! Taemin!”
“Inkigayo doesn’t have special stage!” Somebody yelled and there was a soft toy that flew to Leeteuk’s head.
Taemin stood up and everyone cheered and it felt like Christmas because everyone was so happy. Somebody began beat boxing and Taemin got into the beat, popping and locking and moon walking while the artists catcalled. He quickly sat down afterwards, embarrassed, Minho messing up his hair.
“Special stage! Minho’s rap!”
Grinning at his hyung, whom had an incredulous expression on his face, Taemin jabbed his side playfully. Flinching from the ticklish spot, Minho got up. Taemin bit his lip to keep from cracking up.
He watched as the older boy took a deep breath, rapping Forest of Fantasy by K-Flow (not that Taemin knew the title, he had asked Minho after), and it was as if he stopped and Minho was looking at him and pointing at him and winking and tilting his head, standing sideways facing him and at the end when everyone, drunk or sober, cheered, Taemin was wondering if he was just imagining things or if Minho was seriously just focusing on him.
“You did great!” He chirped above Leeteuk’s boisterous hosting.
“Really?” Minho’s smile was infectious and Taemin nodded.
When the fire began dying, most of the artists were singing along to carols, contented from their spot on the floor and even Taemin found himself singing the words to 12 Days of Christmas, snuggled into Minho’s shoulder, warm and comforting, their socked toes fighting. Gingerbread men were passed around together with jugs of milk. Key and JongHyun danced to the slow carol, in each other’s arms, the diva giggling deliriously while JongHyun was gentler than Taemin had ever seen.
The fire gave an orange glow and it was a cosy Christmas eve. Some continued talking in corners; like BoA, still looking like a queen as she chatted animatedly with Tiffany and Yunho.
The moment Leeteuk crashed, the makeshift SM Concert stopped and Minho had went upstairs, telling Taemin to wait for him.
There was a thumping as Minho bounded down the stairs in his winter jacket, holding Taemin’s. He scrambled over when the older boy beamed, cocking his head towards the door.
“Where are we going?” Taemin asked as he zipped the puffy jacket up.
“You’ll see.”
It was dark and the snow seemed to glow blue under the moonlight. Strange sounds could be heard at night as Taemin was led by Minho through the cold, boots sinking into snow. An owl, the howling of wind.
Looking up, Taemin found the sky spotted with stars and halted, wanting to appreciate it. Minho tugged on his arm gently and he pouted, reluctantly ambling behind the older boy. They climbed the side of a hill of sorts, with a shelter or something at the peak. Taemin couldn’t see it properly in the dark.
Minho slowed down, holding Taemin by the shoulders and walking at a slow pace.
“Cable car,” The older boy said.
“What?” Taemin gaped as they stepped into the shelter, yellow lights revealing an empty red cable car. A grumpy looking station master nodded at Minho, giving them entry into the cable car on standby.
“Don’t we have to pay?” Taemin asked uncertainly as they stepped into the cable car, the door sliding shut with a hiss.
“The entire villa is ours, remember?” He slapped Minho’s hand that was tweaking his nose.
Rushing over to the windows of the cable car, the stars twinkled at him and a sea of pine trees and snow stretched below him. In the horizon, at the peak of mountains, there was a soft ethereal glow and the moon was full and bright.
“Taemin,” He returned his attention to Minho, falling into the seat from his knees on his butt.
Pursed lips, Minho was looking away, deep in thought. Taemin watched him quietly, the situation of being in an enclosed area with his hyung striking him for the first time.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been a good hyung lately,” Minho raised his eyes, meeting Taemin’s and his heart stopped for a second.
“Huh,” Taemin said, suddenly interested in the floor, scuffing his heel.
Silence filled the space between them and it seemed as if Minho wasn’t going to say another thing.
“Do you really?” He said, voice small. He knew the older boy didn’t but he wanted assurance.
“What?”
“Do you really want to be part of them?” Taemin faced him, feeling as if he was looking at a stranger in Minho’s clothes, in that beige jacket he wore. “Super Junior.”
The older boy seemed taken aback with the question, before his eyes softened - and that made Taemin angrier.
“No, I -”
“Don’t treat me like a kid,” He hissed.
“Taemin,” Minho began, slight worry in his tone.
“Don’t lie to me.”
It was coming out. Everything - in one giant wave.
“I’m part of SHINee -”
“You’re always with sunbaenims. Always with them whenever you can like they’re more important to you than us,” There was hurt in the way Minho’s shoulders sank and Taemin felt vicious satisfaction.
“I look up to them,” Minho explained. Taemin glanced away, feeling the older boy’s eyes burning into his face.
“You don’t even come back for dinner sometimes,” Taemin glared at Minho, feeling fury building up inside of him and spilling out in fast, angry words. “Do you know how much we miss you? How much I miss you?”
“I would never leave SHINee.”
“How can you leave when you’re not even here half of the time anymore?”
He had gone too far. Taemin left the sentence hanging, whispered from his lips nearly inaudible and he could feel the sting.
“Is this what all this is about?” Minho asked quietly. “Me not coming back for dinner anymore?”
Taemin didn’t reply.
“So you want me to stop talking to the sunbaenims?”
Scoffing disbelievingly, Taemin stood up, pacing about - away from Minho, blinking back tears. He went to the corner of the cable car, watching little orange lights from the streets below them. There was a soft sound of fabric rubbing against each other and Taemin swallowed.
“No.”
“What is it?” Minho’s voice came, nearer to him and Taemin spun around furiously.
“Don’t you get it?” He shouted, the older boy stopping in his tracks. “It’s you.”
“No, I don’t,” Minho said, frowning.
“You’re not even here,” Taemin said, a tear escaping an eye and he cursed mentally. “With me.”
He was trapped between the glass panel and Minho’s body and he wiped his face roughly, glaring at his hyung.
“You’re leaving me.”
Large hands wrapped around his shoulders firmly and Minho bent down. It was sudden and Taemin’s heart caught in his throat when he realised their faces were too close and he could see the way Minho’s eyebrows creased together in a frown and their lips brushed. Taemin felt lightheaded. His feet were floating.
“You can’t expect me to forgive you,” Taemin breathed shakily, confused between being angry and the butterflies in his stomach.
“No, but I want you to believe in me,” Minho said it so sincerely, it was impossible not to trust him and Taemin felt relieved and he felt like crying but he wasn’t going to appear weak, not now, not in front of him.
“You’re still going to be away all the time,” He couldn’t keep the whine out of his voice, or stop it from cracking, and now he was more frustrated at himself than at the way Minho smirked.
“But I’ll never leave. Not SHINee, not you.”
When they finally returned to the resort yesterday, everyone had retreated back to their rooms. The clock struck twelve and the cuckoo sprang out, startling Taemin so badly he yelped, causing Minho to laugh so hard he backed up against a wall. Unhappy at being the only one who was surprised, Taemin stormed up to Minho, putting both arms beside his hyung, glaring up at the taller boy.
His skin burned when large hands wound around his waist, Minho pecking his forehead.
“What does this make us?” Taemin had asked, breathing in hazelnut.
“Good question,” Somehow they had ended up swaying gently to the soft music in the background. “I’m not sure.”
“...That was pretty crazy,” Taemin said, resting his head on Minho’s chest. “Kissing me like that.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Minho’s voice rumbled beneath his ear. “I can’t even remember when these feelings came.”
“Wanna know something?” Stretching his neck, he placed his chin in the cleft of Minho’s chest, looking upwards. The older boy raised his eyebrows. “I’ve always liked you.”
Minho had laughed then, ruffling his hair and detaching away. Taemin let the older boy pull him by the wrist up the wooden stairs, taking careful steps in near darkness.
“Hyung?”
The shadow of the boy’s head shifted and Taemin knew Minho was looking at him.
“Merry Christmas.”
Creeping down the same wooden steps he had sneaked up with Minho yesterday night, anticipation threatened to explode from Taemin’s chest. It was a white Christmas morning and Taemin had slinked out of bed, cautiously picking off Minho’s arm wrapped around him so as to not wake the older boy.
There were presents underneath the tree and Taemin’s eyes widened, leaping off the last few steps and landing with a loud thud, shuffling over to the tree and rifling through the boxes to find his name.
Padding of footsteps. Taemin glanced behind him to see Seohyun and Jino rubbing sleep from their eyes. He grinned.
“Presents!”
People thought that considering the schedule artists have, they’d never pass up the chance to get a few more hours of sleep. But when Jino ripped down the corridors and upstairs yelling for ‘JongHyun hyung’ and ‘KyuHyun hyung’ and ‘presents’, doors had burst open and there was a stampede of SM Entertainment’s A-list artists.
The common room was instantly filled with artists in pyjamas clambering in, all bed hair with no makeup, unbelievably awake, gasping and hollering above one another, rifling through the pile of presents below the tree so vigorously the tree began tilting off balance. Taeyeon had screamed when the heavy tree began falling, getting behind it and shoving with what little strength she had. Taemin promptly got up on his feet and it was suddenly an SM effort to save the falling tree.
After the ornament was rescued, everyone laughed and dove back into the presents, comparing gifts and hugging each other, giving thanks and exchanging sappy words saved only for Christmas. There was the smell of freshly baked bread and stomachs grumbled and the air was tingling with good cheer and there was an occasional shriek when someone found a present that they’ve always been wanting - like when some guy in Super Junior found out he had received a PS3 soccer game.
Long legs (in teddy bear pyjamas) came up on either side of Taemin and he reflexively leaned back into a familiar heat, inhaling hazelnut and feeling a nose sniff the top of his head. Reaching out, Taemin passed Minho a blue wrapped package, relaxing in his hold.
“You’re so wonderfully warm,” Taemin said, closing his eyes as he settled into Minho.
“You’re so wonderfully small.”
Taemin’s mouth dropped open, scampering away from Minho and sitting at his heels, facing him.
“I’m not small!”
There was too much activity going on and nobody paid them any attention and there, with the winter sun casting a soft halo over Minho, mussed hair and sleepy eyed decked in teddy bear pyjamas, Taemin desperately wanted to crawl back into his arms.
Minho chuckled and pulled on his arm gently. Taemin gave in and fell back into the older boy, soft rug tickling his ankles where his pants rode up. There was the sound of Minho breathing him in at his neck and he briefly registered a carol playing in the background, warm voices of SM artists laughing and playing just like a family, gingerbread men and candy canes and hazelnut in the air, and Taemin closed his eyes.
“Taemin-ah,” His favourite baritone voice rumbled behind his ear. “Merry Christmas.”