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[heatherella]

This day still feels so strange. If anything, it feels stranger every year that I'm away from the city (wow, it's 5 now). There's a huge memorial service going on right outside my office building. In New Lenox, IL. I know this is something that happened to everyone, not something that New Yorkers (and Washingtonians) own, but it still sticks in my

Comments

[chrissigrl]

I'm actually finding that my anxiety about it gets worse as the years go on. Maybe because I'm older, and now I'm more like, "This many years has gone by.... that's enough time for some terrorist group to plan another giant stunt, isn't it?". When I was 20, the whole "being evacuated over the Brooklyn Bridge in gas masks!" story was just something I repeated to people, like, "where were you when JFK died?" stories. But this year, I couldn't even listen to the radio, every single person seemed to be calling in to tell "Where they were" (Interesting: nobody who called in was actually AT the site during the attacks. Maybe they all feel the same way I do?). I just want to hide in a blanket fort on this day. Instead, I'm shopping for couches at the Hell's Kitchen Salvation Army for a set. Maybe it's better that way, to just jump back into it?

[heatherella]

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I find the story of what happened and the actual memory to feel different. I find myself sifting through the minutia of the day and certain moments that I know I remember clearly (stuck in my abandoned office building trying to dial my live-in boyfriend's number over and over and over, but all circuits were jammed, having to tell my parents over AIM that I was alive and unhurt but scared, no one telling us what do do, where to go, what was safe, all the theories that no one outside of NYC remembers now- that there was a biological weapon released, that there were multiple planes in the air targeting the Empire State and Chrysler Buildings).

I get frustrated with Carey, and really with most of my friends sometimes because they don't get it. It's not like I want people I love to know what it feels like to think you're going to die, but......eh, I don't know. It's a lonely and haunting feeling sometimes. Thanks for commenting- it helped.

[helianthas]

this. same memories, too -- the "Due to the tornado in your area, your call cannot be completed as dialed." and AIM...