Please to read your history books, part 1
Title: Die Hohlen Kosten des Lebens
Author: SugarBeat Angel
Rating:
For bad characterization, purple prose, nobodies with FEEEEEEELINGS, and absolutely ignoring everything they learned in history about the Holocaust.
Full Name: Demyx Ydem, Xigbar, Namine, various other Nobodies. What, no Sora?
Species: Historical AU whatthehellius
Hair Color: Presumed canon
Eye color: also presumed canon
Unusual Traits/Markings: Demyx is Jewish.
Special Posessions: a sitar inherited from Mommy that makes Xigbar the gay nazi fall in love with Demyx.
Origin: I’m not sure, but it’s clear that someone wasn’t paying attention in history.
Connections To Canon Characters: broke their windows on Kristallnacht
Special Abilities: to completely defy history AND canon, all in one fell swoop. To find TRU LURVE in spite of the fact that, yes, gay people ALSO got sent to concentration camps.
Other Annoying Traits: taking a piss on the memories of over 10 million people.
I Say/Notes: NAZI XIGBAR AND JEWISH DEMYX. I saw the summary and had to click. I had to. Just the summary alone screamed “spork me! I won’t let you down!” 9 chapters long, and no, it didn’t.
It’s a glorious day in The Porn Theater. Axel is sitting in his designated seat, picking gum off of the arm rest. Xigbar and Demyx enter.
Axel: *looking up* Shouldn’t you two be heading off to the gas chambers?
Xigbar: *boggle* What the hell?
Demyx: What?!
Axel: Jews and Gays get gassed to death, duh.
Xigbar: What’re you talking about, Axel?
Axel: *flaps script up and down* I’m talking about today’s special! Historical Homoerotica!
Demyx: *blanch* Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is.
Axel: *grin* Oh, it IS.
Kraków, Poland
September 29, 1939
Xigbar: I don’t like where this is going at ALL.
Xigbar sat in a quaint little pub on the outskirts of the city. It was very early in the morning... About four or so... But who was really counting when you were enjoying the company of your fellow man?
Axel: Wow, that’s… sudden. Didn’t expect the sodomy to start until chapter 4 or so.
He tipped his glass to his best soldier, Axel, and downed his shot of Vodka. It was just another night off duty in this occupied city... Even commanding officers needed a break every now and then. He liked to spend his time catching up with his best men.
Demyx: Uh, huh, chatting up. SUUUUURE.
Axel: Laugh while you can, Jew boy, Nazi Xigbar says you’re next.
Xigbar: *hits them both*
After all, he was never really out on the city streets. He didn't handle the dirty work so he never got to see any of the great things that went on outside his home... He snapped his fingers at the bar tender and motioned him over. "Oi! Jew! Another bottle of Vodka over here! And can't we get some music in here? This place is as dull as your future..." Xigbar chuckled and nudged Saïx who spilled his drink on the bar.
Xigbar: Everything seems historically accurate so far…
Axel: That’s because the buttsex hasn’t started.
Xigbar: *bleh*
Lexaeus sighed and grabbed another bottle from the back shelf. He carted the bottle over to the group of Nazi soldiers and sat it down.
"Hey!" Xigbar grabbed the bar tender's wrist and stared at him hard. "You gonna play some music for us?"
Lexaeus looked away from the snickering soldiers and contained his urge to pummle them. He had his sons to think about after all. "We don't have any records any more... They were taken away."
Xigbar: Lexaeus has kids?
Axel: 400 munny says one of ‘em is Demyx.
Demyx: No. I bet it’s Roxas and Sora.
Axel: You’re on!
Xigbar motioned to the piano sitting in a dusty corner and smiled. "You have that thing, don't you? Play it..."
Lexaeus swallowed back his pride and sighed. "Regrettably sir, I can not play... My wife was a pianist, but she has been dead for many years."
Xigbar: Lexaeus is married?
Demyx: Lexaeus’s nonexistent wife plays? *happy*
Axel: *spittake* Lexaues is IN CHARACTER?!
"Well..." Xigbar released his hold on the man and put his hand on his gun. "There has to be someone in this place that knows how to play music. My soldiers and I can be very irate when we drink without music. Accidents could happen."
Lexaeus sucked in a quick breath and nodded. "My son... He has been practicing foreign instruments. He plays the sitar... I'll go wake him."
Axel: HAH.
Demyx: *grumbles and forks over 400 munny*
Xigbar smirked. "Good... And bring us more food while you're away!"
Lexaeus nodded and quickly rushed into the back room. He climbed the stairs to his home above the pub and rushed into his eldest son's room. "Demyx... Demyx, wake up!"
Demyx sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Nngh... Father?"
Demyx: Whoa, time out. If this turns into one of those fics where we all speak in Archaic Ways with No Contractions, I’ll be pretty unhappy.
Lexaeus tapped his son's cheek. "Demyx... There are Nazi soldiers here..."
Demyx's eyes grew wide and he leapt out of bed. "Take Roxas... I'll distract them."
Demyx: HAH. *holds out hand*
Axel: *eyes hand, gives him five*
Demyx: *punches Axel*
Lexaeus shook his head. "No my son... They want to hear you play..."
Demyx furrowed his brow and glanced at his sitar. "But... I only know how to play the sitar. They won't like it..."
Lexaeus shook his head. "Nonsense. They'll love it... Now let's go!"
Demyx: Question! If this is Poland, 1939, and I’m the poor son of a Jewish bartender, where did I get a sitar?
Axel: *shrug* Internet?
Xigbar: *facepalm*
Demyx shook his head out of the groggy clouds of sleep and picked up his sitar. He followed his father down the stairs to the pub where a whole line of Nazi soldiers sat at the bar drinking away all the lives they had taken. His heart fell into the pit of his stomach and it took all the teen had to will his legs into movement. He sat across the room on an empty stool and tuned his sitar. He hadn't played for a few weeks... Not since the Nazi's had invaded.
Axel: You know, I’m suspecting that this taking place during World War II is just an excuse for woobly angst.
Xigbar: Your suspicions are probably correct, dude.
He took in a deep breath and began to strum the tightly rung strings on his instrument. The sound he so loved flowed happily from the chords he played and soon filled the bar with that mystical eastern music that made his soul shake to its core. For a moment it was only him and his sitar. He remembered the time his family had spent in India before the war. He'd fallen in love with the instrument then and he cherished it greatly after his mother's death.
Demyx: Question! How did the family of a Jewish bartender from Poland have enough money to go to India? Especially during the Great Depression?
Axel: Oh, silly Demyx, didn’t you know that anything is possible when you don’t pay attention during history?
Now he sat playing it for men without hearts...
Xigbar: Well, they got SOMETHING right.
Men undeserving of the beautiful sounds his treasure made. This brought him back from his fond memories... Back home to a war torn world. Back to a pub catering to the desires of men who killed his people... He opened his eyes and stared at the man directly across from him. His gaze was piercing... His face was frightening... It was the face of a killer... A man who had risen in the ranks to become one of their higher ups. He shuttered. He wanted to tear his gaze from this man but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't look away from him.
Xigbar: Aw, come on, ‘m not THAT scary.
Axel: Not unless you’re dressing as the Naked Pirate for Halloween.
Xigbar: Hey, come on. That was hilarious.
Demyx: You made XEMNAS jump.
Xigbar: You know, you think that after ten years, Xemnas’d be used to seeing various members of the Organization naked. He never knocks, y’know. And he’s got cameras in all of your rooms.
Axel, Demyx: *uncomfortable*
Saïx grumbled and pulled out his gun, aiming it at the seventeen year old Jewish boy before them. "That music is terrible... Stop playing or I'll shoot you."
Axel: What the hell, Saix gets to be in character too?
Xigbar: He probably threatened to eat the author or something.
Xigbar scowled and turned his gaze from the boy to Saïx. "Put your gun away... I like his music."
Xigbar:….. AHAHAHAHAHA.
Demyx: Hey!
SAIX INSULTED MY SITAR, BWAH HE IS A BIG POOPIEHEAD.
Xigbar let his gaze fall from Saïx to the boy across the room. "Why have you stopped? I did not tell you to."
Xigbar:… wait, when did Xemnas take over my body?
Axel: Oh, he does that to everyone in fanfic, eventually.
Xigbar: You sound like you know what you’re talking about.
Axel: …. *cringe*
Purple wall of text go SNIP! Oh no, Xigbar and Axel are watching Demyx PLAY~~
Xigbar gave a few small claps before standing and glancing at the clock against a nearby wall. He stretched and yawned before walking quietly over to the petrified young man. He stared down at him for a moment. He could feel the fear emanating from the Jew. Still, as frightened as he was the young man managed to meet his gaze. It was admirable. "You play wonderfully... What is your name?"
"D-demyx, sir..." Demyx swallowed hard and stared up at that face. The man's only good eye looked him over curiously. "Demyx Ydem."
All: ….
Xigbar: If my last name ends up being “Braig” I’m shooting someone.
Demyx: But… you always shoot things.
Xigbar: Then I’ll be shooting someone more.
Xigbar nodded quietly and paused in thought. "Do you have lice?"
Axel: COOTIES! COOTIES! Ahahahahah
Demyx: *to Xigbar* I think the badfic is finally going to his brain.
Xigbar: No, I think he’s just being a retard.
Demyx swallowed hard and shook his head. "N-no sir..."
"Good." Xigbar smiled and crossed his arms. "You have fifteen minutes to gather your things up... You are coming to serve me."
Demyx's heart fell from his stomach to the floor and he stared at the man wide eyed. "But I..."
"Either you come calmly and quietly or I will kill your father and burn this place to the ground so that you have no other choice. Now, which is it?" Xigbar rested his hand on his gun and smirked.
Xigbar: Hey, I’m not that much of an asshole!
Demyx: Let’s see… You taunted Sora for no reason…
Axel: Turned a life-giving Dragon into a heartless…
Demyx: Oh yeah, and there’s the whole betraying Ansem the Wise and unleashing heartless upon the worlds thing, too.
Both: *expectant stare*
Xigbar: At least I’m not a traitor that says incredibly cheesy and totally gay lines right before I die.
Axel: *snaps Xigbar’s eyepatch*
Xigbar: OW, FUCK!
"I understand sir." Demyx stood quietly, setting his sitar to the side. He hurried into the back room where his father stood quietly. His gaze met with his father's and tears came to his eyes. "Father!"
"I overheard..." Lexaeus sighed and pulled his son into a tight embrace. "But Demyx... You can not deny him. And perhaps it is for the best... Serve him well and who knows? Perhaps he will treat you well."
Demyx: I don’t think assrape qualifies as “treating me well”
"He is a Nazi, father!" Demyx wiped away his tears. "To him we are just Jews. Just rats... Worse than rats. He doesn't enjoy my music, he only wants to pain us by tearing our family apart!" He sucked in a quick breath and bit his quivering lip. "Father, I can't."
Demyx: *deadpan* And I’m a whiny crybaby again. Surprise, surprise.
Axel: You know, I’m curious to see what would happen if we switched everyone’s fanon characterization around, at random. We would have Xemnas horny and constantly hungry for Roxas’s ass, have Larxene be a whiny crybaby, have you be a sadistic, evil motherfucker, have Lexaeus be a prancing fairy queen, have Marluxia be a cranky-
Xigbar: *smacks hand over Axel’s mouth* Shut up before someone hears you and wants to do that.
Demyx: Oh, you did not just suggest someone paste Vexen’s characterization onto Marluxia.
Axel: I did. >:3
"Demyx! Do as you are told..." Lexaeus grabbed his son by his shoulders and shook him lightly. "He can kill you if he wants but he doesn't. You are of some value to him... Because of your music. Be thankful for your gift my son... Now go. Gather your things in a suitcase and follow him obediently."
Xigbar: Well, shoot, there went Lexaeus’s characterization.
Demyx: I had no idea he was that… verbose.
Axel: *blink* You know what that means?
Demyx: Excessively wordy? I’m not stupid, Axel.
Demyx nodded and climbed the stairs to his room. He pulled out an old suitcase and packed away many of his things. Mostly he brought with him his clothing and a few books including the Torah. With one last glance around the room he spotted the Star of David necklace his mother had left to him hanging sorrowfully from a framed photograph of his mother. He quickly grabbed it and placed it in his suitcase along with the photograph.
Demyx: Question! Assuming we’re living the ghettoes, why am I allowed to keep all of this nice stuff? Didn’t they like, burn the Torah and confiscate all the jewelry?
Xigbar: Didn’t we already go over the fact that ACTUAL history has no place here?
Demyx: Can’t blame a guy for wishing, can you?
With a heavy sigh he picked up his suitcase and started down the hall to his brother's room. Roxas was still asleep in his bed though the sun was threatening to break through the darkness at any moment. He leaned down and pressed his lips carefully on his brother's forehead. "My brother. Farewell..." He smiled softly as the boy stretched and rolled onto his stomach. "I hope to see you again one day..." With one last look at his brother, Demyx sighed and headed down the stairs again. His father was waiting with open arms to give him one final embrace. "Take care of Roxas, father."
Lexaeus held his son tightly and nodded. "I will... Please be safe. Do as he says, mind your tongue and never give up hope."
Demyx: *picks out theme from Schindler’s List*
Axel: Yeah, that actually was kinda sad.
Demyx nodded and smiled softly. "I will never give up hope. Farewell father..." Demyx wiped his eyes and entered the pub. Across the room stood that wicked man staring curiously at the sitar. Demyx approached and stood behind him quietly.
OMG DON’T TOUCH MY SITAR.
Demyx glared at the back of the man's head as he turned to lead him away. He hated this man... He symbolized all that was evil. He was a Nazi... A murderer.. A demon among men... And now Demyx was his property. That was all he could be, for he was only a Jew. He had no right to freedom, not according to this man and his people... But no, he was less than property... A pet was property. He wasn't any better than a dog in this man's eyes. That made him merely a slave... Just a slave...
Demyx: Why all the self-hate? I understood it that the Jews still held onto their pride and identity?
Axel: Because it’s WOOBIE Demyx, that’s why. He has no pride or identity. Or self-respect, obviously.
Xigbar: Yup. Woobie Demyx only exists to be my ass slave.
Demyx: *drenches them both*
Once they arrived at his home, Xigbar threw open the door and stepped into the front corridor. The sun was well on its way to filling the room so he decided against turning on any lighting. He motioned for his new servant to follow him up the stairs and down the long hall which led to many bedrooms. Once they reached his room he stopped and turned to look at the boy. "My name is Xigbar Braig.
Xigbar: godDAMMIT.
Axel: At least I’m safe. You can’t make e, l, and a into a conceivably German name.
Xigbar: Nah, they’ll just name you Axel Reno.
Axel: *snaps eyepatch again*
Xigbar: Fuckin’ A, STOP.
I am SS-Brigadeführer and Generalmajor of the Waffen-SS and Polizei in this central division of Kraków.
Xigbar: Fragen-the-hoojibah what now? Is that even German?
Axel: Um… no. Not in the slightest.
Demyx: Wow. And we thought fanbrat Japanese was bad.
Axel: It’s World War II, the Japanese will show up eventually.
WALL OF TEXT Explains rules. Demyx is Xigbar’s blah blah blah…
Kraków, Poland
October 5, 1939
Demyx sat in Xigbar's quarters playing his sitar while the man ate quietly. He tried his hardest to ignore the man but he couldn't help gaze up at him every once in a while. He wasn't so bad. He didn't seem nearly as wicked as the soldiers below him but he was still a Nazi and still a murderer. He was merely better at keeping the killer inside concealed.
Xigbar: All right, finally, some in-characterness from me!
Demyx: I don’t think this is the situation to be proud of that…
Still, Demyx decided he didn't mind serving this man so much. He really was allowed to do whatever he wanted so long as he was ready to play his sitar for the man whenever he was called upon. And even then, it wasn't so terrible. It always could have been worse... He simply had to adjust himself to this man's schedule and live by it. Because of this his body lacked proper rest and he often felt tired... He slept whenever possible and rarely ate because of it. He didn't think much of the situation and paid his fatigue no mind. It was only when his stomach let out a loud gurgle that he even noticed how hungry he was. He blushed brightly at the disruption and looked away from Xigbar.
Axel: Haha, no sleep and no food! Fastest way to Ukefication!
Demyx: Oh, but you’re forgetting about the Evangelion Brand 100% Pure ANGST, No artificial colors. Because I remember that being the fastest way to Ukefication.
Axel: *GLARE*
Xigbar: Hey, at least OUR Semes were kinda cool, instead of complete retards.
Demyx: …. dammit, I can’t argue there.
Xigbar chuckled and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Stop... Stop..." He waited for the sitar player to cease and smiled widely. "When was the last time you ate?"
Demyx blushed brighter and kept his eyes downcast. "I... I don't know, sir. I can't really remember."
"Well then..." Xigbar laughed and motioned to the chair beside him. "Put the instrument down and come join me..."
Axel: For the after dinner BUTT SEX!
Xigbar: *smack* Why are you so eager to see it?
Axel: It’s called schadenfreude, my friend.
Demyx: I knew it. I knew Axel got his jollies from the misfortune of others.
Axel: Why do you think I only complain half-heartedly about being their Sporking Bitch?
Xigbar: Gee, I kinda thought it was because you didn’t have a heart to do anything half-heartedly with.
Demyx stood hesitantly and then sat back down in his chair, still keeping his gaze from the other man's. He wanted to join him, but fear prevented it.
Xigbar stifled a laugh and cracked his knuckles. "Come now... I won't hurt you. I want you to eat. What good does it do me to have a starving musician?"
Demyx stood again and leaned his sitar against the chair he was sitting in. He walked quietly over to the table and sat down in the seat Xigbar had gestured to. "Th-thank you sir." Demyx looked to Xigbar nervously, unsure of what to do. It was true he was hungry but he was afraid to eat... What would this man do? Was it a trick? Would he beat him? Kill him? Or perhaps it was genuine kindness... He held his breath and reached nervously toward the food before second guessing himself and forcing his hands into his lap.
Demyx: I am not this much of a wuss! And I think that if I hadn’t eaten for days, I would be less concerned with dying and more concerned with eating.
Xigbar chuckled and snapped his fingers. At the echo of the snap, a young servant girl entered the room and bowed her head quietly. "Bring a plate for him... And silverware." Xigbar glanced at the boy who was blushing wildly. "And some wine... Two glasses." He waved the servant away and turned his attention back to the sitar player. "You don't have to be afraid... I am not like most of them. I'm not above compassion... We're not monsters, you know. Not all of us. We do what is required of us and we either choose to enjoy our jobs or we choose to rise in power so that we don't have to personally kill anybody. That is what I have done... I don't enjoy the death of your people..."
Axel: Aw, hell. I… I just can’t hear Xigbar saying this.
Demyx: Well Not!Xigbar better watch out - talk like that would get him demoted and/or sent to a camp.
"But you've killed before! You've enjoyed it before... " Demyx clenched his fists and glared up at Xigbar. It was only when he realized what he said that he slapped his hand over his mouth and shrank back into his chair. "Forgive me, sir... I forgot my place."
Xigbar laughed and patted the boy's shoulder. "You see, that's what I like about you! You have this fire inside of you..."
Demyx: Uh, no, that’s AXEL with the fire in him.
Axel: God, you bitch. Way to take my characterization.
He grabbed his bottle of Vodka and took a swig from it. "It reminds me of the fire I used to have when I was your age. You're seventeen, right?"
Demyx looked at his hands in his lap and nodded. "Yes, sir..."
Xigbar thumbed his thigh in thought and leaned back in his chair. "Your birth date?"
Demyx cleared his throat and glanced up at Xigbar. "October thirteenth, nineteen twenty-one... Sir."
Demyx: Is not.
Axel: Hey, Xigbar. Look on the bright side! You’re waiting until he isn’t underage.
Xigbar: *pops a cap in Axel’s knee*
"Ah..." Xigbar nodded and smiled as the young servant girl returned with Demyx's things on a plater. "Thank you Naminé..." He looked back at Demyx and smiled. "There you are. Everything you need to enjoy your dinner. Go ahead, help yourself to anything."
*A NEW SPORKER APPEARS*
Namine: … huh?
Axel: Namine! Welcome to the party.
Namine: … I don’t want to be here, though. *sad*
Xigbar: Too bad.
Namine: What’s on the menu today?
Demyx: Raping History.
Namine: *scans script* ……………
Demyx nodded and reached out toward the small buffet that lay before him. None of the food looked familiar to him... He grabbed a few things that looked good and put them on his plate. "Thank you, sir."
Xigbar smiled and pulled out a cigar. "No... Thank you. You didn't have to come with me but you did..."
Demyx scowled. "I didn't have a choice. It was either come or let you kill my family..."
"The Nazis don't own Poland... We're merely occupying it." Xigbar smirked. "If you wanted to you could have called the authorities."
Xigbar: Okay, bullshit. The Nazis WERE the authorities, once Poland was occupied.
"They would have backed down in a heartbeat." Demyx clenched his fists and glared at the man. "And you knew that. Don't act like I had a choice... I would rather be at home with my father and brother than here serving a murderer. But that isn't a choice I get to make..."
Xigbar chuckled. "Ah, there's that wonderful fire I was talking about... It's alright, don't hesitate. Tell me how you really feel about me."
Axel: Okay, now all I can hear is Xigbar doing a Sigmund Freud “Tell me about your childhood” kinda thing.
Xigbar: Eh-HMMMM, now… vhat do you REEEEL-LEEEE sink ahbout me, mnn?
Namine: Please don’t ever do that again.
Xigbar: HAH, isn’t she a hoot? *pats her head*
Demyx growled and stood up. "I hate you! I hate everything about you! This house used to belong to good, hardworking people and you just came in and took it away because they were Jews! You have no right! Then you just come walking in to my father's pub and drink all of his alcohol without paying and not only do you take his pride and dignity away but you take his eldest son! And I honestly would prefer death over serving you!
Demyx: Playing the Sitar vs getting herded into a camp like cattle and shaven and tortured and eventually gassed to death? I think I’ll take serving Xigbar.
You're a murder and a Nazi! You keep trying to convince me otherwise but I can see the souls of the men and women you've killed shining deep within your eye! All they ask is that their deaths not be in vain but what can we Jews do to gain retribution for them? Nothing! So I serve you, yes... But only because I don't have a choice! But I do so to live because that is what my father told me to do. Live. And I will try my hardest to survive but I won't sit back and act like I'm happy about this arrangement! Not in the slightest!" Demyx took a deep breath and clenched his fists. "Go ahead. Shoot me now... I know you want to!"
Axel: Holy shit! Is that… a SPINE?
Xigbar: I think this is a fanfic first.
Demyx: Shall we drink to it?
Namine: But… I’m not old enough.
Axel: You’re in the porn theater. We’re already breaking rules.
Xigbar chuckled and put his cigar in his mouth. He pulled out a lighter and gave flame to his cigar, puffing calmly until it was happily lit and glowing. "I'm not going to shoot you... Sit down."
Demyx swallowed hard and took his seat. "I can't believe you're going to let me talk to you that way."
Xigbar laughed and shook his head. "No man nor woman, nor even a child has dared speak to me like that before now. I honestly don't know how to react. I could shoot you, yes... But where would be the fun in that? No, the fun is in the game of winning you over. Making you see I am not such a bad person. Am I flawless? No... But I am not the devil either. You'll soon come to realize that..."
Xigbar: Y’know, aside from sounding nothing like me, that actually was kinda in character.
Axel: Care to translate, for our sake?
Xigbar: Sure. *ahem* No one, and I mean NO one, has ever talked to me like that before. I mean, dude, how can I react to THAT? Sure, I could shoot you… but now, where’s the fun in that? No, I think I’d rather try to win you over, convince you that I’m not such a bad dude. Am I perfect? Tsh, as IF. But I’m no devil, either. You’ll find out soon eough.” … That kinda hurt.
Demyx: OOC usually does.
Demyx looked away from the older man and sighed. "Thank you for sparing my life, sir."
Xigbar smiled and nodded. "You are welcome."
Namine: Why is Xigbar Xemnas?
Xigbar: Because apparently Xemnas is a Nazi and all Nazis must be patterned after him. DUH.
Kraków, Poland
October 13, 1939
Demyx awoke with a start. He heard someone in his room shifting about in the darkness provided by the thick curtains drawn across the windows. He jumped to the floor and backed over to where the windows were and with a quick tug he pulled back a curtain and let the dim sunlight flood into the room. His eyes fell on Naminé, the servant girl who always brought Xigbar dinner. She was standing there with a frightened look on her face and a small cake in her hands. "N-naminé?"
Naminé quickly bowed and held the cake out in Demyx's direction. "Happy birthday Mr. Ydem... At El Brigadeführer's request I have brought you this cake as a token of his gratitude."
Namine: *jaw drop* EL. El Brigadefuhrer. That’s not even German, for one. For two, EL?!
Axel: Anyone else having visions of Xigbar in a Mariachi costume bedecked in swastikas?
Demyx: *picks out La Cucaracha*
Demyx smiled softly. "Oh... Thank you. Sorry to have startled you..." He stepped forward and took the cake from Naminé. It looked very appealing... "Did you make this cake Naminé?"
Naminé kept her head bowed and nodded quickly.
Demyx smiled and sat the cake on the dresser. "Would you like to share it with me?"
"El Brigadeführer requests that you enjoy your cake at the dining table. He'll be waiting."
Axel: Wait, so then why did you bring it to his room?
Demyx: Because Xigbar is a jerk?
Xigbar: That’s right. *leans back*
Naminé turned on heal and started out the door before pausing and glancing back at Demyx. "You may want to get a quick bath and dress in your best. I think he is letting you leave the house this day..." She turned away and left Demyx alone.
Namine: What’s up with the way I’m talking?
Demyx: It’s a history piece! We all talk funny!
"Leave the house?" Demyx smiled brightly and rushed into his bathroom. He quickly drew a warm bath and made sure he was flawlessly clean. He then dressed in his best shirt and pants and grabbed his cake, making his way down to the dining room. Sitting there with a smug smile on his face was Demyx's master... Like always. Demyx stepped forward and bowed to the man. "Thank you for the cake, sir."
Xigbar chuckled and motioned to the chair nearest him. "Sit, let us enjoy your cake. Afterward, I was thinking you could go out. Visit your family... Enjoy the city... Whatever you wish."
Xigbar: Translating again from Xemnasish to Xigbarese… “Sit down, eat your cake. Hey, later, I thought maybe you’d like to go out and see your folks, or just wander around. Whatever.”
Demyx smiled gratefully and nodded. "Yes, sir! I would like that very much. Thank you."
Xigbar smiled and nodded. "You are welcome my young friend. Quite welcome..."
Xigbar: Again. “Hey, no prob.”
Namine: Wall of text! Incoming!
Axel: Ah, they’re kinda… frequent.
Demyx: A cut sure would be nice…
LONG DESCRIPTION OF PAST IS LONG AND BORING. Demyx goes to visit the pub.
Roxas' head snapped up and he looked at Demyx in awe. "Brother! You're alive!" Roxas sat his book down and bolted to his brother. He threw his arms around him as though it had been years since they'd seen each other. "You look well! Is he treating you alright? He hasn't beaten you, has he?"
Axel: *gape* That… isn’t Roxas. Hell, that isn’t even Sora. That’s like… Tiny Tim.
Demyx: *in squeaky voice* And God bless us, every one!
Demyx chuckled and ruffled his brother's hair. "No, he hasn't beaten me. He's actually not that bad... For a Nazi I mean..." He pulled away from his brother and looked around. "Where is father?"
"He went out to the market. We're running low on supplies and he went to pick some up." Roxas sighed. "We're really struggling. Father says we may have to sell the pub and buy a small apartment, now that it's just the two of us."
Demyx swallowed hard and forced down the lump rising in his throat. "I wish you could come stay with me... El Brigadeführer really treats his servants well. I have my own room, bigger than this one here. And I have access to the house at all times. The only thing I have to do is be ready to play my sitar for him at any moment he chooses but mostly he stays on a set schedule..."
Namine: El! EL!! Did they even take German?!
Axel: Namine… when are you gonna learn? NO ONE does research or gets background information before writing fanfic! That’s silly!
Roxas looked away from his brother sadly. "It sounds like the best thing that's ever happened to you."
"No... It isn't. The best thing that could ever happen to me would be El Brigadeführer letting me return home to you and father. But that won't happen. I'm just here to visit..." Demyx sighed sadly and turned away from his brother. "I love you Roxas... I wish I could be around to help."
Roxas shrugged. "It isn't your fault. Nothing can be done really. We are only Jews."
Axel: And right now, 6 million of those “only Jews” are rolling over in their mass grave.
Other 3: *horrified stare*
Xigbar: Dude, NOT cool.
Demyx: You can’t say that, asshole!
Namine: *looking like she’s about to cry* That’s terrible.
Axel: *smirk*
"We may be only Jews... But we are a great people. We'll overcome this, I know it..." Demyx glanced back at Roxas. "When will father be back? I'm desperate to see him..."
Roxas sighed. "It may not be for hours... He left only five minutes ago."
"Well, I could always stay until he gets back." Demyx smiled hopefully. "I could help with the chores."
"No, it's your birthday." Roxas returned to the book he'd abandoned only moments earlier and reopened it. "You shouldn't be doing chores... You should be out having a good time! Meet a girl, have an affair, elope!"
Axel: Ah, NOW he’s being Sora. Better, but still wrong.
Demyx: You sure are being defensive of Roxas’s character.
Axel: HEY. I’m in the fic, Roxas is in the fic. Chances of us being paired up are over 9000. If I’m gonna be raping little blonde boys, I’d rather do it to one that actually ACTS like Roxas.
Xigbar: So you admit you want into 13’s pants.
Axel: NO!
Demyx chuckled and pulled the book from Roxas' hands, examining it carefully. "Reading mother's old romance novels again I see. Father should keep these packed away..." He stretched his body and sat the book down. "We can make fun here while father is away."
"There is nothing fun here anymore... You should go back." Roxas looked away from his brother. "If that Nazi is as kind as you say he is, he'll let you come again. You can see father then."
Demyx looked at Roxas curiously. "You act as though you want me gone..."
Roxas shot his gaze to Demyx. "Perhaps I do... Perhaps it is too difficult having you here and knowing you'll be leaving again very soon."
"Oh... I... I see." Demyx turned away from his brother and rested his hand against the door frame. "I suppose I'll leave then. I love you Roxas."
All but Demyx: Awwwwwwww.
Demyx: You all suck dinosaur balls.
Roxas nodded and opened the book, pretending to care very little if at all about his brother. "See you soon Demyx..."
Demyx sighed and started out of his brother's room. "Yes, well... Tell father I came by. I don't know when I will see you next, if I ever do. But I want to you take care of yourself and father." Demyx feigned a smile at his brother and started out the door. He only received a wave... Nothing more. It must have been harder on Roxas than he cared to admit. He was acting strong. Demyx wished he could have been the strong one instead of his brother. It made things harder... He wiped his eyes of the tiny tears flooding to the surface and started back to his new home. He walked in silence not bothering to watch his step. He stumbled and fell twice against the cold Autumn wind. When he finally arrived home he climbed the stairs to his room and dove onto the bed. He buried his face in the soft pillows and wept loudly. He felt so helpless... Helpless and alone. He couldn't take care of his family, he couldn't protect them... He could only stand by and watch as the hardships of war took its toll on his father and brother. "Why? Why God!? Why do they have to suffer?"
All: *cringe*
Namine: That was purple.
Demyx: And run-on-y.
Xigbar: Good thing Zexion isn’t here. He’d be screeching with indignation.
Axel: That would be weird.
Xigbar: It’s Zexion. You know what a grammar na… erm. What a strict grammarian he is. He’d freak.
"I can not answer that question for you..." Xigbar entered the room quietly and approached Demyx. "But perhaps I can offer you a solution."
Demyx froze when he heard Xigbar's voice. He sat slowly and wiped his eyes before looking up at Xigbar. "Sir... Forgive me."
Xigbar cocked an eyebrow and pulled a cigarette from the case in his pocket. "Forgive you for feeling sorrow? Sorrow is hardly a crime." He flicked open his lighter and gave the cigarette life. He took a long drag and blew the smoke in Demyx's direction before crossing his arms and standing before the young man. "I have a solution for your family's problems... Would you like to hear it?"
Xigbar: Bleh, smoking is bad for you.
Demyx: And there goes your Xemnas brainswitch again.
Xigbar: *as Xemnas* I need… more rage. I need… more hearts.
Axel: !! Hey, that was pretty good!
Xigbar: I can do more…. Hey, who am I this time? “You insolent brats!”
Demyx: Heeey! That was Vexen!
Namine: *giggling* Do another!
Xigbar: ‘Kay… *leans toward Namine* “Well, what now? At this rate-“
Namine: MARLUXIA. *scared*
Demyx: Oh, he’s real good.
Axel: Yeah, another!
Xigbar: “He… He was the only one I liked. He made me feel…”
Axel: *eyepatch snap*
Xigbar: STOP DOING THAT, YOU PRICK!
Axel: You deserved that one.
Demyx nodded. "Yes, sir. Please..."
"Well..." Xigbar turned away from Demyx and began to walk around the room. "Your father is an excellent bartender... Now, I haven't had any parties yet because I've been meaning to really get settled in first. But once I am settled in I will need someone to serve alcohol to my guests at parties. Do you think your father would be interested?"
Demyx blinked at Xigbar curiously. "And my brother?"
"I could always use more servants." Xigbar glanced back at Demyx. "Only if they want to of course... Can't go forcing people, can I?" He chuckled and offered his cigarette to Demyx. He was quickly refused. "It's just a thought."
Demyx stared hard at the floor. "You would let them live here? Sir... That is so kind of y-"
Xigbar chuckled and pressed his hand against Demyx's lips. "Ah... Don't let word get out that I am being kind to Jews. I don't want anybody knowing I actually have a heart."
Xigbar: But I don’t.
Namine: It’s an AU, I guess they think it’s okay?
Xigbar: But… gah, I give up.
Demyx laughed lightly and stood up. "Sir... I can not thank you enough. I am in your debt... I will never be able to repay you."
"I will think of a way you can repay me. Until then... Just continue to play for me." Xigbar patted Demyx's head and turned on heel. "Join me for dinner tonight."
Axel: *as Xigbar* You can repay me with buttsex after!
Xigbar: *pokes him in the eye*
Axel:OWWWWWWW! SHIT!!!
Xigbar: Now you know how it feels, asshole.
"Y-yes, sir." Demyx bowed and watched Xigbar exit his room. He smiled brightly and fell backward onto his bed. "He's a good person... A very good person."
Axel: *covering eye with hand* Wow, Demyx, didn’t take long to convert you to Xigbar’s love slave.
Xigbar: He’s the perpetual uke. It’ll never take long.
Namine: Demyx, aren’t you bothered by all of this?
Demyx: Oh, no, not really. But if Xigbar and Axel know what’s good for them, they won’t drink any water tomorrow.
Xigbar: Shit, I keep forgetting that under that friendly exterior, he’s just as much of a heartless bastard as the rest of us.
AND WE’RE DONE FOR THE DAY. COME BACK FOR PART TWO LATER.
Author: SugarBeat Angel
Rating:
For bad characterization, purple prose, nobodies with FEEEEEEELINGS, and absolutely ignoring everything they learned in history about the Holocaust.
Full Name: Demyx Ydem, Xigbar, Namine, various other Nobodies. What, no Sora?
Species: Historical AU whatthehellius
Hair Color: Presumed canon
Eye color: also presumed canon
Unusual Traits/Markings: Demyx is Jewish.
Special Posessions: a sitar inherited from Mommy that makes Xigbar the gay nazi fall in love with Demyx.
Origin: I’m not sure, but it’s clear that someone wasn’t paying attention in history.
Connections To Canon Characters: broke their windows on Kristallnacht
Special Abilities: to completely defy history AND canon, all in one fell swoop. To find TRU LURVE in spite of the fact that, yes, gay people ALSO got sent to concentration camps.
Other Annoying Traits: taking a piss on the memories of over 10 million people.
I Say/Notes: NAZI XIGBAR AND JEWISH DEMYX. I saw the summary and had to click. I had to. Just the summary alone screamed “spork me! I won’t let you down!” 9 chapters long, and no, it didn’t.
It’s a glorious day in The Porn Theater. Axel is sitting in his designated seat, picking gum off of the arm rest. Xigbar and Demyx enter.
Axel: *looking up* Shouldn’t you two be heading off to the gas chambers?
Xigbar: *boggle* What the hell?
Demyx: What?!
Axel: Jews and Gays get gassed to death, duh.
Xigbar: What’re you talking about, Axel?
Axel: *flaps script up and down* I’m talking about today’s special! Historical Homoerotica!
Demyx: *blanch* Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is.
Axel: *grin* Oh, it IS.
Kraków, Poland
September 29, 1939
Xigbar: I don’t like where this is going at ALL.
Xigbar sat in a quaint little pub on the outskirts of the city. It was very early in the morning... About four or so... But who was really counting when you were enjoying the company of your fellow man?
Axel: Wow, that’s… sudden. Didn’t expect the sodomy to start until chapter 4 or so.
He tipped his glass to his best soldier, Axel, and downed his shot of Vodka. It was just another night off duty in this occupied city... Even commanding officers needed a break every now and then. He liked to spend his time catching up with his best men.
Demyx: Uh, huh, chatting up. SUUUUURE.
Axel: Laugh while you can, Jew boy, Nazi Xigbar says you’re next.
Xigbar: *hits them both*
After all, he was never really out on the city streets. He didn't handle the dirty work so he never got to see any of the great things that went on outside his home... He snapped his fingers at the bar tender and motioned him over. "Oi! Jew! Another bottle of Vodka over here! And can't we get some music in here? This place is as dull as your future..." Xigbar chuckled and nudged Saïx who spilled his drink on the bar.
Xigbar: Everything seems historically accurate so far…
Axel: That’s because the buttsex hasn’t started.
Xigbar: *bleh*
Lexaeus sighed and grabbed another bottle from the back shelf. He carted the bottle over to the group of Nazi soldiers and sat it down.
"Hey!" Xigbar grabbed the bar tender's wrist and stared at him hard. "You gonna play some music for us?"
Lexaeus looked away from the snickering soldiers and contained his urge to pummle them. He had his sons to think about after all. "We don't have any records any more... They were taken away."
Xigbar: Lexaeus has kids?
Axel: 400 munny says one of ‘em is Demyx.
Demyx: No. I bet it’s Roxas and Sora.
Axel: You’re on!
Xigbar motioned to the piano sitting in a dusty corner and smiled. "You have that thing, don't you? Play it..."
Lexaeus swallowed back his pride and sighed. "Regrettably sir, I can not play... My wife was a pianist, but she has been dead for many years."
Xigbar: Lexaeus is married?
Demyx: Lexaeus’s nonexistent wife plays? *happy*
Axel: *spittake* Lexaues is IN CHARACTER?!
"Well..." Xigbar released his hold on the man and put his hand on his gun. "There has to be someone in this place that knows how to play music. My soldiers and I can be very irate when we drink without music. Accidents could happen."
Lexaeus sucked in a quick breath and nodded. "My son... He has been practicing foreign instruments. He plays the sitar... I'll go wake him."
Axel: HAH.
Demyx: *grumbles and forks over 400 munny*
Xigbar smirked. "Good... And bring us more food while you're away!"
Lexaeus nodded and quickly rushed into the back room. He climbed the stairs to his home above the pub and rushed into his eldest son's room. "Demyx... Demyx, wake up!"
Demyx sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Nngh... Father?"
Demyx: Whoa, time out. If this turns into one of those fics where we all speak in Archaic Ways with No Contractions, I’ll be pretty unhappy.
Lexaeus tapped his son's cheek. "Demyx... There are Nazi soldiers here..."
Demyx's eyes grew wide and he leapt out of bed. "Take Roxas... I'll distract them."
Demyx: HAH. *holds out hand*
Axel: *eyes hand, gives him five*
Demyx: *punches Axel*
Lexaeus shook his head. "No my son... They want to hear you play..."
Demyx furrowed his brow and glanced at his sitar. "But... I only know how to play the sitar. They won't like it..."
Lexaeus shook his head. "Nonsense. They'll love it... Now let's go!"
Demyx: Question! If this is Poland, 1939, and I’m the poor son of a Jewish bartender, where did I get a sitar?
Axel: *shrug* Internet?
Xigbar: *facepalm*
Demyx shook his head out of the groggy clouds of sleep and picked up his sitar. He followed his father down the stairs to the pub where a whole line of Nazi soldiers sat at the bar drinking away all the lives they had taken. His heart fell into the pit of his stomach and it took all the teen had to will his legs into movement. He sat across the room on an empty stool and tuned his sitar. He hadn't played for a few weeks... Not since the Nazi's had invaded.
Axel: You know, I’m suspecting that this taking place during World War II is just an excuse for woobly angst.
Xigbar: Your suspicions are probably correct, dude.
He took in a deep breath and began to strum the tightly rung strings on his instrument. The sound he so loved flowed happily from the chords he played and soon filled the bar with that mystical eastern music that made his soul shake to its core. For a moment it was only him and his sitar. He remembered the time his family had spent in India before the war. He'd fallen in love with the instrument then and he cherished it greatly after his mother's death.
Demyx: Question! How did the family of a Jewish bartender from Poland have enough money to go to India? Especially during the Great Depression?
Axel: Oh, silly Demyx, didn’t you know that anything is possible when you don’t pay attention during history?
Now he sat playing it for men without hearts...
Xigbar: Well, they got SOMETHING right.
Men undeserving of the beautiful sounds his treasure made. This brought him back from his fond memories... Back home to a war torn world. Back to a pub catering to the desires of men who killed his people... He opened his eyes and stared at the man directly across from him. His gaze was piercing... His face was frightening... It was the face of a killer... A man who had risen in the ranks to become one of their higher ups. He shuttered. He wanted to tear his gaze from this man but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't look away from him.
Xigbar: Aw, come on, ‘m not THAT scary.
Axel: Not unless you’re dressing as the Naked Pirate for Halloween.
Xigbar: Hey, come on. That was hilarious.
Demyx: You made XEMNAS jump.
Xigbar: You know, you think that after ten years, Xemnas’d be used to seeing various members of the Organization naked. He never knocks, y’know. And he’s got cameras in all of your rooms.
Axel, Demyx: *uncomfortable*
Saïx grumbled and pulled out his gun, aiming it at the seventeen year old Jewish boy before them. "That music is terrible... Stop playing or I'll shoot you."
Axel: What the hell, Saix gets to be in character too?
Xigbar: He probably threatened to eat the author or something.
Xigbar scowled and turned his gaze from the boy to Saïx. "Put your gun away... I like his music."
Xigbar:….. AHAHAHAHAHA.
Demyx: Hey!
SAIX INSULTED MY SITAR, BWAH HE IS A BIG POOPIEHEAD.
Xigbar let his gaze fall from Saïx to the boy across the room. "Why have you stopped? I did not tell you to."
Xigbar:… wait, when did Xemnas take over my body?
Axel: Oh, he does that to everyone in fanfic, eventually.
Xigbar: You sound like you know what you’re talking about.
Axel: …. *cringe*
Purple wall of text go SNIP! Oh no, Xigbar and Axel are watching Demyx PLAY~~
Xigbar gave a few small claps before standing and glancing at the clock against a nearby wall. He stretched and yawned before walking quietly over to the petrified young man. He stared down at him for a moment. He could feel the fear emanating from the Jew. Still, as frightened as he was the young man managed to meet his gaze. It was admirable. "You play wonderfully... What is your name?"
"D-demyx, sir..." Demyx swallowed hard and stared up at that face. The man's only good eye looked him over curiously. "Demyx Ydem."
All: ….
Xigbar: If my last name ends up being “Braig” I’m shooting someone.
Demyx: But… you always shoot things.
Xigbar: Then I’ll be shooting someone more.
Xigbar nodded quietly and paused in thought. "Do you have lice?"
Axel: COOTIES! COOTIES! Ahahahahah
Demyx: *to Xigbar* I think the badfic is finally going to his brain.
Xigbar: No, I think he’s just being a retard.
Demyx swallowed hard and shook his head. "N-no sir..."
"Good." Xigbar smiled and crossed his arms. "You have fifteen minutes to gather your things up... You are coming to serve me."
Demyx's heart fell from his stomach to the floor and he stared at the man wide eyed. "But I..."
"Either you come calmly and quietly or I will kill your father and burn this place to the ground so that you have no other choice. Now, which is it?" Xigbar rested his hand on his gun and smirked.
Xigbar: Hey, I’m not that much of an asshole!
Demyx: Let’s see… You taunted Sora for no reason…
Axel: Turned a life-giving Dragon into a heartless…
Demyx: Oh yeah, and there’s the whole betraying Ansem the Wise and unleashing heartless upon the worlds thing, too.
Both: *expectant stare*
Xigbar: At least I’m not a traitor that says incredibly cheesy and totally gay lines right before I die.
Axel: *snaps Xigbar’s eyepatch*
Xigbar: OW, FUCK!
"I understand sir." Demyx stood quietly, setting his sitar to the side. He hurried into the back room where his father stood quietly. His gaze met with his father's and tears came to his eyes. "Father!"
"I overheard..." Lexaeus sighed and pulled his son into a tight embrace. "But Demyx... You can not deny him. And perhaps it is for the best... Serve him well and who knows? Perhaps he will treat you well."
Demyx: I don’t think assrape qualifies as “treating me well”
"He is a Nazi, father!" Demyx wiped away his tears. "To him we are just Jews. Just rats... Worse than rats. He doesn't enjoy my music, he only wants to pain us by tearing our family apart!" He sucked in a quick breath and bit his quivering lip. "Father, I can't."
Demyx: *deadpan* And I’m a whiny crybaby again. Surprise, surprise.
Axel: You know, I’m curious to see what would happen if we switched everyone’s fanon characterization around, at random. We would have Xemnas horny and constantly hungry for Roxas’s ass, have Larxene be a whiny crybaby, have you be a sadistic, evil motherfucker, have Lexaeus be a prancing fairy queen, have Marluxia be a cranky-
Xigbar: *smacks hand over Axel’s mouth* Shut up before someone hears you and wants to do that.
Demyx: Oh, you did not just suggest someone paste Vexen’s characterization onto Marluxia.
Axel: I did. >:3
"Demyx! Do as you are told..." Lexaeus grabbed his son by his shoulders and shook him lightly. "He can kill you if he wants but he doesn't. You are of some value to him... Because of your music. Be thankful for your gift my son... Now go. Gather your things in a suitcase and follow him obediently."
Xigbar: Well, shoot, there went Lexaeus’s characterization.
Demyx: I had no idea he was that… verbose.
Axel: *blink* You know what that means?
Demyx: Excessively wordy? I’m not stupid, Axel.
Demyx nodded and climbed the stairs to his room. He pulled out an old suitcase and packed away many of his things. Mostly he brought with him his clothing and a few books including the Torah. With one last glance around the room he spotted the Star of David necklace his mother had left to him hanging sorrowfully from a framed photograph of his mother. He quickly grabbed it and placed it in his suitcase along with the photograph.
Demyx: Question! Assuming we’re living the ghettoes, why am I allowed to keep all of this nice stuff? Didn’t they like, burn the Torah and confiscate all the jewelry?
Xigbar: Didn’t we already go over the fact that ACTUAL history has no place here?
Demyx: Can’t blame a guy for wishing, can you?
With a heavy sigh he picked up his suitcase and started down the hall to his brother's room. Roxas was still asleep in his bed though the sun was threatening to break through the darkness at any moment. He leaned down and pressed his lips carefully on his brother's forehead. "My brother. Farewell..." He smiled softly as the boy stretched and rolled onto his stomach. "I hope to see you again one day..." With one last look at his brother, Demyx sighed and headed down the stairs again. His father was waiting with open arms to give him one final embrace. "Take care of Roxas, father."
Lexaeus held his son tightly and nodded. "I will... Please be safe. Do as he says, mind your tongue and never give up hope."
Demyx: *picks out theme from Schindler’s List*
Axel: Yeah, that actually was kinda sad.
Demyx nodded and smiled softly. "I will never give up hope. Farewell father..." Demyx wiped his eyes and entered the pub. Across the room stood that wicked man staring curiously at the sitar. Demyx approached and stood behind him quietly.
OMG DON’T TOUCH MY SITAR.
Demyx glared at the back of the man's head as he turned to lead him away. He hated this man... He symbolized all that was evil. He was a Nazi... A murderer.. A demon among men... And now Demyx was his property. That was all he could be, for he was only a Jew. He had no right to freedom, not according to this man and his people... But no, he was less than property... A pet was property. He wasn't any better than a dog in this man's eyes. That made him merely a slave... Just a slave...
Demyx: Why all the self-hate? I understood it that the Jews still held onto their pride and identity?
Axel: Because it’s WOOBIE Demyx, that’s why. He has no pride or identity. Or self-respect, obviously.
Xigbar: Yup. Woobie Demyx only exists to be my ass slave.
Demyx: *drenches them both*
Once they arrived at his home, Xigbar threw open the door and stepped into the front corridor. The sun was well on its way to filling the room so he decided against turning on any lighting. He motioned for his new servant to follow him up the stairs and down the long hall which led to many bedrooms. Once they reached his room he stopped and turned to look at the boy. "My name is Xigbar Braig.
Xigbar: godDAMMIT.
Axel: At least I’m safe. You can’t make e, l, and a into a conceivably German name.
Xigbar: Nah, they’ll just name you Axel Reno.
Axel: *snaps eyepatch again*
Xigbar: Fuckin’ A, STOP.
I am SS-Brigadeführer and Generalmajor of the Waffen-SS and Polizei in this central division of Kraków.
Xigbar: Fragen-the-hoojibah what now? Is that even German?
Axel: Um… no. Not in the slightest.
Demyx: Wow. And we thought fanbrat Japanese was bad.
Axel: It’s World War II, the Japanese will show up eventually.
WALL OF TEXT Explains rules. Demyx is Xigbar’s blah blah blah…
Kraków, Poland
October 5, 1939
Demyx sat in Xigbar's quarters playing his sitar while the man ate quietly. He tried his hardest to ignore the man but he couldn't help gaze up at him every once in a while. He wasn't so bad. He didn't seem nearly as wicked as the soldiers below him but he was still a Nazi and still a murderer. He was merely better at keeping the killer inside concealed.
Xigbar: All right, finally, some in-characterness from me!
Demyx: I don’t think this is the situation to be proud of that…
Still, Demyx decided he didn't mind serving this man so much. He really was allowed to do whatever he wanted so long as he was ready to play his sitar for the man whenever he was called upon. And even then, it wasn't so terrible. It always could have been worse... He simply had to adjust himself to this man's schedule and live by it. Because of this his body lacked proper rest and he often felt tired... He slept whenever possible and rarely ate because of it. He didn't think much of the situation and paid his fatigue no mind. It was only when his stomach let out a loud gurgle that he even noticed how hungry he was. He blushed brightly at the disruption and looked away from Xigbar.
Axel: Haha, no sleep and no food! Fastest way to Ukefication!
Demyx: Oh, but you’re forgetting about the Evangelion Brand 100% Pure ANGST, No artificial colors. Because I remember that being the fastest way to Ukefication.
Axel: *GLARE*
Xigbar: Hey, at least OUR Semes were kinda cool, instead of complete retards.
Demyx: …. dammit, I can’t argue there.
Xigbar chuckled and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Stop... Stop..." He waited for the sitar player to cease and smiled widely. "When was the last time you ate?"
Demyx blushed brighter and kept his eyes downcast. "I... I don't know, sir. I can't really remember."
"Well then..." Xigbar laughed and motioned to the chair beside him. "Put the instrument down and come join me..."
Axel: For the after dinner BUTT SEX!
Xigbar: *smack* Why are you so eager to see it?
Axel: It’s called schadenfreude, my friend.
Demyx: I knew it. I knew Axel got his jollies from the misfortune of others.
Axel: Why do you think I only complain half-heartedly about being their Sporking Bitch?
Xigbar: Gee, I kinda thought it was because you didn’t have a heart to do anything half-heartedly with.
Demyx stood hesitantly and then sat back down in his chair, still keeping his gaze from the other man's. He wanted to join him, but fear prevented it.
Xigbar stifled a laugh and cracked his knuckles. "Come now... I won't hurt you. I want you to eat. What good does it do me to have a starving musician?"
Demyx stood again and leaned his sitar against the chair he was sitting in. He walked quietly over to the table and sat down in the seat Xigbar had gestured to. "Th-thank you sir." Demyx looked to Xigbar nervously, unsure of what to do. It was true he was hungry but he was afraid to eat... What would this man do? Was it a trick? Would he beat him? Kill him? Or perhaps it was genuine kindness... He held his breath and reached nervously toward the food before second guessing himself and forcing his hands into his lap.
Demyx: I am not this much of a wuss! And I think that if I hadn’t eaten for days, I would be less concerned with dying and more concerned with eating.
Xigbar chuckled and snapped his fingers. At the echo of the snap, a young servant girl entered the room and bowed her head quietly. "Bring a plate for him... And silverware." Xigbar glanced at the boy who was blushing wildly. "And some wine... Two glasses." He waved the servant away and turned his attention back to the sitar player. "You don't have to be afraid... I am not like most of them. I'm not above compassion... We're not monsters, you know. Not all of us. We do what is required of us and we either choose to enjoy our jobs or we choose to rise in power so that we don't have to personally kill anybody. That is what I have done... I don't enjoy the death of your people..."
Axel: Aw, hell. I… I just can’t hear Xigbar saying this.
Demyx: Well Not!Xigbar better watch out - talk like that would get him demoted and/or sent to a camp.
"But you've killed before! You've enjoyed it before... " Demyx clenched his fists and glared up at Xigbar. It was only when he realized what he said that he slapped his hand over his mouth and shrank back into his chair. "Forgive me, sir... I forgot my place."
Xigbar laughed and patted the boy's shoulder. "You see, that's what I like about you! You have this fire inside of you..."
Demyx: Uh, no, that’s AXEL with the fire in him.
Axel: God, you bitch. Way to take my characterization.
He grabbed his bottle of Vodka and took a swig from it. "It reminds me of the fire I used to have when I was your age. You're seventeen, right?"
Demyx looked at his hands in his lap and nodded. "Yes, sir..."
Xigbar thumbed his thigh in thought and leaned back in his chair. "Your birth date?"
Demyx cleared his throat and glanced up at Xigbar. "October thirteenth, nineteen twenty-one... Sir."
Demyx: Is not.
Axel: Hey, Xigbar. Look on the bright side! You’re waiting until he isn’t underage.
Xigbar: *pops a cap in Axel’s knee*
"Ah..." Xigbar nodded and smiled as the young servant girl returned with Demyx's things on a plater. "Thank you Naminé..." He looked back at Demyx and smiled. "There you are. Everything you need to enjoy your dinner. Go ahead, help yourself to anything."
*A NEW SPORKER APPEARS*
Namine: … huh?
Axel: Namine! Welcome to the party.
Namine: … I don’t want to be here, though. *sad*
Xigbar: Too bad.
Namine: What’s on the menu today?
Demyx: Raping History.
Namine: *scans script* ……………
Demyx nodded and reached out toward the small buffet that lay before him. None of the food looked familiar to him... He grabbed a few things that looked good and put them on his plate. "Thank you, sir."
Xigbar smiled and pulled out a cigar. "No... Thank you. You didn't have to come with me but you did..."
Demyx scowled. "I didn't have a choice. It was either come or let you kill my family..."
"The Nazis don't own Poland... We're merely occupying it." Xigbar smirked. "If you wanted to you could have called the authorities."
Xigbar: Okay, bullshit. The Nazis WERE the authorities, once Poland was occupied.
"They would have backed down in a heartbeat." Demyx clenched his fists and glared at the man. "And you knew that. Don't act like I had a choice... I would rather be at home with my father and brother than here serving a murderer. But that isn't a choice I get to make..."
Xigbar chuckled. "Ah, there's that wonderful fire I was talking about... It's alright, don't hesitate. Tell me how you really feel about me."
Axel: Okay, now all I can hear is Xigbar doing a Sigmund Freud “Tell me about your childhood” kinda thing.
Xigbar: Eh-HMMMM, now… vhat do you REEEEL-LEEEE sink ahbout me, mnn?
Namine: Please don’t ever do that again.
Xigbar: HAH, isn’t she a hoot? *pats her head*
Demyx growled and stood up. "I hate you! I hate everything about you! This house used to belong to good, hardworking people and you just came in and took it away because they were Jews! You have no right! Then you just come walking in to my father's pub and drink all of his alcohol without paying and not only do you take his pride and dignity away but you take his eldest son! And I honestly would prefer death over serving you!
Demyx: Playing the Sitar vs getting herded into a camp like cattle and shaven and tortured and eventually gassed to death? I think I’ll take serving Xigbar.
You're a murder and a Nazi! You keep trying to convince me otherwise but I can see the souls of the men and women you've killed shining deep within your eye! All they ask is that their deaths not be in vain but what can we Jews do to gain retribution for them? Nothing! So I serve you, yes... But only because I don't have a choice! But I do so to live because that is what my father told me to do. Live. And I will try my hardest to survive but I won't sit back and act like I'm happy about this arrangement! Not in the slightest!" Demyx took a deep breath and clenched his fists. "Go ahead. Shoot me now... I know you want to!"
Axel: Holy shit! Is that… a SPINE?
Xigbar: I think this is a fanfic first.
Demyx: Shall we drink to it?
Namine: But… I’m not old enough.
Axel: You’re in the porn theater. We’re already breaking rules.
Xigbar chuckled and put his cigar in his mouth. He pulled out a lighter and gave flame to his cigar, puffing calmly until it was happily lit and glowing. "I'm not going to shoot you... Sit down."
Demyx swallowed hard and took his seat. "I can't believe you're going to let me talk to you that way."
Xigbar laughed and shook his head. "No man nor woman, nor even a child has dared speak to me like that before now. I honestly don't know how to react. I could shoot you, yes... But where would be the fun in that? No, the fun is in the game of winning you over. Making you see I am not such a bad person. Am I flawless? No... But I am not the devil either. You'll soon come to realize that..."
Xigbar: Y’know, aside from sounding nothing like me, that actually was kinda in character.
Axel: Care to translate, for our sake?
Xigbar: Sure. *ahem* No one, and I mean NO one, has ever talked to me like that before. I mean, dude, how can I react to THAT? Sure, I could shoot you… but now, where’s the fun in that? No, I think I’d rather try to win you over, convince you that I’m not such a bad dude. Am I perfect? Tsh, as IF. But I’m no devil, either. You’ll find out soon eough.” … That kinda hurt.
Demyx: OOC usually does.
Demyx looked away from the older man and sighed. "Thank you for sparing my life, sir."
Xigbar smiled and nodded. "You are welcome."
Namine: Why is Xigbar Xemnas?
Xigbar: Because apparently Xemnas is a Nazi and all Nazis must be patterned after him. DUH.
Kraków, Poland
October 13, 1939
Demyx awoke with a start. He heard someone in his room shifting about in the darkness provided by the thick curtains drawn across the windows. He jumped to the floor and backed over to where the windows were and with a quick tug he pulled back a curtain and let the dim sunlight flood into the room. His eyes fell on Naminé, the servant girl who always brought Xigbar dinner. She was standing there with a frightened look on her face and a small cake in her hands. "N-naminé?"
Naminé quickly bowed and held the cake out in Demyx's direction. "Happy birthday Mr. Ydem... At El Brigadeführer's request I have brought you this cake as a token of his gratitude."
Namine: *jaw drop* EL. El Brigadefuhrer. That’s not even German, for one. For two, EL?!
Axel: Anyone else having visions of Xigbar in a Mariachi costume bedecked in swastikas?
Demyx: *picks out La Cucaracha*
Demyx smiled softly. "Oh... Thank you. Sorry to have startled you..." He stepped forward and took the cake from Naminé. It looked very appealing... "Did you make this cake Naminé?"
Naminé kept her head bowed and nodded quickly.
Demyx smiled and sat the cake on the dresser. "Would you like to share it with me?"
"El Brigadeführer requests that you enjoy your cake at the dining table. He'll be waiting."
Axel: Wait, so then why did you bring it to his room?
Demyx: Because Xigbar is a jerk?
Xigbar: That’s right. *leans back*
Naminé turned on heal and started out the door before pausing and glancing back at Demyx. "You may want to get a quick bath and dress in your best. I think he is letting you leave the house this day..." She turned away and left Demyx alone.
Namine: What’s up with the way I’m talking?
Demyx: It’s a history piece! We all talk funny!
"Leave the house?" Demyx smiled brightly and rushed into his bathroom. He quickly drew a warm bath and made sure he was flawlessly clean. He then dressed in his best shirt and pants and grabbed his cake, making his way down to the dining room. Sitting there with a smug smile on his face was Demyx's master... Like always. Demyx stepped forward and bowed to the man. "Thank you for the cake, sir."
Xigbar chuckled and motioned to the chair nearest him. "Sit, let us enjoy your cake. Afterward, I was thinking you could go out. Visit your family... Enjoy the city... Whatever you wish."
Xigbar: Translating again from Xemnasish to Xigbarese… “Sit down, eat your cake. Hey, later, I thought maybe you’d like to go out and see your folks, or just wander around. Whatever.”
Demyx smiled gratefully and nodded. "Yes, sir! I would like that very much. Thank you."
Xigbar smiled and nodded. "You are welcome my young friend. Quite welcome..."
Xigbar: Again. “Hey, no prob.”
Namine: Wall of text! Incoming!
Axel: Ah, they’re kinda… frequent.
Demyx: A cut sure would be nice…
LONG DESCRIPTION OF PAST IS LONG AND BORING. Demyx goes to visit the pub.
Roxas' head snapped up and he looked at Demyx in awe. "Brother! You're alive!" Roxas sat his book down and bolted to his brother. He threw his arms around him as though it had been years since they'd seen each other. "You look well! Is he treating you alright? He hasn't beaten you, has he?"
Axel: *gape* That… isn’t Roxas. Hell, that isn’t even Sora. That’s like… Tiny Tim.
Demyx: *in squeaky voice* And God bless us, every one!
Demyx chuckled and ruffled his brother's hair. "No, he hasn't beaten me. He's actually not that bad... For a Nazi I mean..." He pulled away from his brother and looked around. "Where is father?"
"He went out to the market. We're running low on supplies and he went to pick some up." Roxas sighed. "We're really struggling. Father says we may have to sell the pub and buy a small apartment, now that it's just the two of us."
Demyx swallowed hard and forced down the lump rising in his throat. "I wish you could come stay with me... El Brigadeführer really treats his servants well. I have my own room, bigger than this one here. And I have access to the house at all times. The only thing I have to do is be ready to play my sitar for him at any moment he chooses but mostly he stays on a set schedule..."
Namine: El! EL!! Did they even take German?!
Axel: Namine… when are you gonna learn? NO ONE does research or gets background information before writing fanfic! That’s silly!
Roxas looked away from his brother sadly. "It sounds like the best thing that's ever happened to you."
"No... It isn't. The best thing that could ever happen to me would be El Brigadeführer letting me return home to you and father. But that won't happen. I'm just here to visit..." Demyx sighed sadly and turned away from his brother. "I love you Roxas... I wish I could be around to help."
Roxas shrugged. "It isn't your fault. Nothing can be done really. We are only Jews."
Axel: And right now, 6 million of those “only Jews” are rolling over in their mass grave.
Other 3: *horrified stare*
Xigbar: Dude, NOT cool.
Demyx: You can’t say that, asshole!
Namine: *looking like she’s about to cry* That’s terrible.
Axel: *smirk*
"We may be only Jews... But we are a great people. We'll overcome this, I know it..." Demyx glanced back at Roxas. "When will father be back? I'm desperate to see him..."
Roxas sighed. "It may not be for hours... He left only five minutes ago."
"Well, I could always stay until he gets back." Demyx smiled hopefully. "I could help with the chores."
"No, it's your birthday." Roxas returned to the book he'd abandoned only moments earlier and reopened it. "You shouldn't be doing chores... You should be out having a good time! Meet a girl, have an affair, elope!"
Axel: Ah, NOW he’s being Sora. Better, but still wrong.
Demyx: You sure are being defensive of Roxas’s character.
Axel: HEY. I’m in the fic, Roxas is in the fic. Chances of us being paired up are over 9000. If I’m gonna be raping little blonde boys, I’d rather do it to one that actually ACTS like Roxas.
Xigbar: So you admit you want into 13’s pants.
Axel: NO!
Demyx chuckled and pulled the book from Roxas' hands, examining it carefully. "Reading mother's old romance novels again I see. Father should keep these packed away..." He stretched his body and sat the book down. "We can make fun here while father is away."
"There is nothing fun here anymore... You should go back." Roxas looked away from his brother. "If that Nazi is as kind as you say he is, he'll let you come again. You can see father then."
Demyx looked at Roxas curiously. "You act as though you want me gone..."
Roxas shot his gaze to Demyx. "Perhaps I do... Perhaps it is too difficult having you here and knowing you'll be leaving again very soon."
"Oh... I... I see." Demyx turned away from his brother and rested his hand against the door frame. "I suppose I'll leave then. I love you Roxas."
All but Demyx: Awwwwwwww.
Demyx: You all suck dinosaur balls.
Roxas nodded and opened the book, pretending to care very little if at all about his brother. "See you soon Demyx..."
Demyx sighed and started out of his brother's room. "Yes, well... Tell father I came by. I don't know when I will see you next, if I ever do. But I want to you take care of yourself and father." Demyx feigned a smile at his brother and started out the door. He only received a wave... Nothing more. It must have been harder on Roxas than he cared to admit. He was acting strong. Demyx wished he could have been the strong one instead of his brother. It made things harder... He wiped his eyes of the tiny tears flooding to the surface and started back to his new home. He walked in silence not bothering to watch his step. He stumbled and fell twice against the cold Autumn wind. When he finally arrived home he climbed the stairs to his room and dove onto the bed. He buried his face in the soft pillows and wept loudly. He felt so helpless... Helpless and alone. He couldn't take care of his family, he couldn't protect them... He could only stand by and watch as the hardships of war took its toll on his father and brother. "Why? Why God!? Why do they have to suffer?"
All: *cringe*
Namine: That was purple.
Demyx: And run-on-y.
Xigbar: Good thing Zexion isn’t here. He’d be screeching with indignation.
Axel: That would be weird.
Xigbar: It’s Zexion. You know what a grammar na… erm. What a strict grammarian he is. He’d freak.
"I can not answer that question for you..." Xigbar entered the room quietly and approached Demyx. "But perhaps I can offer you a solution."
Demyx froze when he heard Xigbar's voice. He sat slowly and wiped his eyes before looking up at Xigbar. "Sir... Forgive me."
Xigbar cocked an eyebrow and pulled a cigarette from the case in his pocket. "Forgive you for feeling sorrow? Sorrow is hardly a crime." He flicked open his lighter and gave the cigarette life. He took a long drag and blew the smoke in Demyx's direction before crossing his arms and standing before the young man. "I have a solution for your family's problems... Would you like to hear it?"
Xigbar: Bleh, smoking is bad for you.
Demyx: And there goes your Xemnas brainswitch again.
Xigbar: *as Xemnas* I need… more rage. I need… more hearts.
Axel: !! Hey, that was pretty good!
Xigbar: I can do more…. Hey, who am I this time? “You insolent brats!”
Demyx: Heeey! That was Vexen!
Namine: *giggling* Do another!
Xigbar: ‘Kay… *leans toward Namine* “Well, what now? At this rate-“
Namine: MARLUXIA. *scared*
Demyx: Oh, he’s real good.
Axel: Yeah, another!
Xigbar: “He… He was the only one I liked. He made me feel…”
Axel: *eyepatch snap*
Xigbar: STOP DOING THAT, YOU PRICK!
Axel: You deserved that one.
Demyx nodded. "Yes, sir. Please..."
"Well..." Xigbar turned away from Demyx and began to walk around the room. "Your father is an excellent bartender... Now, I haven't had any parties yet because I've been meaning to really get settled in first. But once I am settled in I will need someone to serve alcohol to my guests at parties. Do you think your father would be interested?"
Demyx blinked at Xigbar curiously. "And my brother?"
"I could always use more servants." Xigbar glanced back at Demyx. "Only if they want to of course... Can't go forcing people, can I?" He chuckled and offered his cigarette to Demyx. He was quickly refused. "It's just a thought."
Demyx stared hard at the floor. "You would let them live here? Sir... That is so kind of y-"
Xigbar chuckled and pressed his hand against Demyx's lips. "Ah... Don't let word get out that I am being kind to Jews. I don't want anybody knowing I actually have a heart."
Xigbar: But I don’t.
Namine: It’s an AU, I guess they think it’s okay?
Xigbar: But… gah, I give up.
Demyx laughed lightly and stood up. "Sir... I can not thank you enough. I am in your debt... I will never be able to repay you."
"I will think of a way you can repay me. Until then... Just continue to play for me." Xigbar patted Demyx's head and turned on heel. "Join me for dinner tonight."
Axel: *as Xigbar* You can repay me with buttsex after!
Xigbar: *pokes him in the eye*
Axel:OWWWWWWW! SHIT!!!
Xigbar: Now you know how it feels, asshole.
"Y-yes, sir." Demyx bowed and watched Xigbar exit his room. He smiled brightly and fell backward onto his bed. "He's a good person... A very good person."
Axel: *covering eye with hand* Wow, Demyx, didn’t take long to convert you to Xigbar’s love slave.
Xigbar: He’s the perpetual uke. It’ll never take long.
Namine: Demyx, aren’t you bothered by all of this?
Demyx: Oh, no, not really. But if Xigbar and Axel know what’s good for them, they won’t drink any water tomorrow.
Xigbar: Shit, I keep forgetting that under that friendly exterior, he’s just as much of a heartless bastard as the rest of us.
AND WE’RE DONE FOR THE DAY. COME BACK FOR PART TWO LATER.