Comments | heart_on: Just Dust by enigmacyofme (me)

enigmacyofme in heart_on

Just Dust by enigmacyofme (me)

Dec 18, 2008 19:14

Just Dust by enigmacyofme (me ( Read more... )

Comments 4

emmmjay December 19 2008, 03:41:33 UTC

i think you mean "eclectic" in the first line...

enigmacyofme December 19 2008, 03:44:38 UTC

yes i did. sorry that was a typo. how was the poem?

emmmjay December 19 2008, 16:31:10 UTC

i find it trite and heavy on the rhyming...also, seems to be more written for the poet, didn't really connect as a reader.

Try less rhyming and cliches, and more concrete images that connect the theme.

I don't get the Prague line.

emmmjay December 19 2008, 16:31:43 UTC

i like "eclectic apologies"...