[CLOSED TO CUDDY] Reluctant is as reluctant does

[headofoncology]

It took Wilson over an hour of sitting in his office trying to remain separated from the situation before he made any firm decisions. Why... why was it always like this? He didn't want to be doing this all over again. He wanted to step away and make a clean break so maybe he could pick up the tattered pieces of his life and try to find some

Comments

[dean_ofmedicine]

Cuddy felt her breath exit her in a rush and she put a hand up to her mouth. She would be lying if she didn't admit to suspecting something was going on with Wilson, but to hear the words didn't come as less of a shock. She watched him, taking in his slumped posture and dark smudges under his eyes. He had carried this appearance since the bus crash, since Amber was brought in here barely clutching to her life. It just got heavier when their relationship ended. "Wilson, I," she began but the words just caught up when she wasn't sure how best to even tackle this. "Can I ask why?" she asked in disbelief.

[headofoncology]

Wilson's hand went to the back of his neck to rub it, a long-suffering or nervous gesture, it was hard to tell anymore. "Because I'm tired," he answered. "I've had enough. I need a change. I need to... not be here anymore. I'm never going to find some happiness here under this roof. Not with Amber... House..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

He cleared his throat. "Your suspicions were right. Something is going on with him, but I'm not going to be the one to pick up the pieces this time. I need to hold on to the little sanity I have left. I have to do this, Lisa, so please don't try to talk to me out of it."

[dean_ofmedicine]

Cuddy's stomach leapt up into her throat, but she managed to maintain her composure. Pick up House's pieces on her own? Could she do that without Wilson as a buffer? Maybe, but that didn't mean she wanted to. She didn't want to lose one of the best Heads of department she had in years, or lose... a friend. They had inevitably breached the boss/employee gap and become friends, he had helped her - especially with House - more than he could ever know. Hell, she had considered him as a sperm donor when she was trying to IVF.

"Wilson... James... please." The plea was soft and non-confrontational. She wasn't talking him out of it, she was begging him to stay and begging him not to make her verbalise it. She knew it was selfish, the thing was, she didn't know if she had the strength to pick up House's piece yet again.

[headofoncology]

Wilson shook his head. "Cuddy, you choose to keep his employment here. You're either his boss or his... something else. You need to either be one or the other, or find a way to make both work. But right now, he's trying to run a case and can't even admit to his own health being awry. God help the patient."

He rose from the chair and cleared his throat, his hands going to his hips. "I'm sorry, Lisa. I need to get out while I still have a sliver of my own sanity. House? I think he lost his years ago."