Title: The Lost City and St. Trinian's
Author:
havocthecatRating: PG
Category: Gen
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Characters: Elizabeth Weir, Kate Heightmeyer, Teyla Emmagan, Kelly Jones, mentions of Polly, Celia, and Annabelle
Fandoms: Stargate: Atlantis/St. Trinian's (2007)
Summary: Polly did a bit of research," said Kelly, more firmly this time, "and it turns out that the only place we might find a cure was the lost city of Atlantis.
Author's Notes: I took a break from all my due dates and decided that I needed to write random crossovers. Clearly, vidding for St. Trinian's has affected my mind, because this is what came of it. (I was this close to bringing Sophie and Parker along as the new headmistress and newest teacher, respectively, but that would be one too many crossovers, and would make the fic longer than I have time to write.)
***
The Ancients hadn't envisioned school field trips when they’d built Atlantis. They'd also had no idea that the next evolution of humanity would include a place like St. Trinian's. What no one could tell, either the Ancients who Ascended ten thousand years ago, or those poor souls inhabiting Atlantis today, was whether the schoolgirls from St. Trinian's were a step forward in the evolution of humanity, or if they were running headlong in the opposite direction.
Either way, Elizabeth wasn't sure Atlantis could take an impromptu horde of St. Trinian's girls, most of whom were screaming at the top of their lungs. Those weren't the girls that worried her the most. They were just the distraction.
It was the quiet ones - most of the older girls - that were plotting something.
She looked up when she heard a noise. Kate had slipped into her office, a bottle of vodka in one hand, and two shot glasses in the other. "A couple of first years tried to hand me a present in the form of their homebrew, but I don't trust basic chemistry from the average eleven year old."
"You've brought the alcohol," said Elizabeth. She sighed in relief. "Bless you."
"Can we hole up here until they go?" asked Kate.
"We're going to have to brave the teeming hordes sooner or later," said Elizabeth. She stood up and held out her hand. Kate slapped a glass into it, then collapsed into a chair.
"Not until later," said Elizabeth, watching Kate unscrew the cap and pour out drinks.
Teyla opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. The sound of screaming followed her in, but most of the schoolgirls passed by without a second thought. One of the older students, a red-haired girl with round glasses, paused and gave them all a speculative look.
When Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, she waved and moved on.
"What is going on out there?" she asked.
"School trip," said Elizabeth and Kate in unison. They looked at each other and sighed.
"I do not understand how this is possible, given the secretive nature of the gates on your planet," said Teyla. She glanced over her shoulder. "Nor how a number of young women were able to come to Atlantis, given the overwhelming dominance of men in your military and the extended childhoods in your culture."
"They're from St. Trinian's," said Elizabeth. She motioned at Kate.
"Which means they're not normal girls," said Kate. She slammed down another shot. "They're a bunch of hellions."
"Oi! I resent that." A girl dropped through the ceiling of Elizabeth's office. "We're a bunch of high-class hellions. Miss Weir! Miss Heightmeyer!"
"Kelly Jones." Kate sounded torn between amusement and resignation. "How has St. Trinian's been treating you?"
"You know these girls?" asked Teyla.
"Trust me, you're going to want a drink," said Elizabeth.
"Miss Weir used to teach law, and Miss Heightmeyer taught psychology," said Kelly. She swaggered over to Elizabeth's desk and perched on the edge.
Elizabeth was thankful that Kelly didn't mention that their post-undergrad teaching days included instructing students on how to break the law and get away with it, or basic brainwashing techniques. They'd never live it down. Also, it wouldn't do for the IOA to find out.
"That's how Elizabeth and I met. Wraith invasions are easier to deal with," muttered Kate. "What are you doing here?"
Kelly didn't blink at the vodka, but she had to be used to the first years' never-ending, usually failed experiments in alcohol distillation.
"How did you get here?" added Teyla, as she sat in the chair next to Kate.
"That's a very long story," said Kelly. She shrugged and brushed her palm along Elizabeth's desk. "Complicated too."
"What a shock," said Elizabeth dryly. She raised one eyebrow and gave Kelly a skeptical look. "Spill. Or I'll have security round you all up and you can go home to a maximum security prison. Empty-handed."
The look on General Landry's face as she sent a bunch of English schoolgirls through to the SGC would be priceless. Elizabeth wondered for a moment if she could bribe Radek or Lorne for a copy of the security camera feed, but then remembered she was a law-abiding, non-St. Trinian's-teaching diplomat these days.
From the look on Kate's face, she was thinking the same thing. Teyla was staring at both of them, more amused than she'd ever let on to anyone else.
"Right," said Kelly, who looked like she was making up her mind whether to believe Elizabeth or not. "So it turns out that Annabelle - Miss Fritton's niece, she's new - has this funny little bit in her genes that make really old technology go all wonky around her. Which we found out when we were taking a class in practical archaeology over the summer term at one of the local universities."
"I was not aware that the technology of the Ancestors was unearthed by those not of your government," said Teyla, frowning. "In fact, I had thought rather the opposite."
"Don't ask about the legitimacy of anything a St. Trinian's girl is involved in," said Kate, chuckling. "It's bound not to end well."
"There might have been some trickery involved," admitted Kelly. "We wouldn't have gotten caught if Annabelle hadn't buggered up by getting herself endowed with telepathy."
"Heaven save us," murmured Elizabeth.
"Polly did a bit of research--" started Kelly.
"By which you mean illegal international espionage and cracking into secure government servers," interrupted Kate, who knew all about the espionage that could sometimes go on at St. Trinian's.
"Like I said, Polly did a bit of research," said Kelly, more firmly this time, "and it turns out that the only place we might find a cure was the lost city of Atlantis. So we build a spaceship with some of the plans that accidentally downloaded to our computers, and here we are. Annabelle's waiting down in the control room."
"You are certainly a very resourceful group of women," said Teyla, who couldn't repress her grin any longer. "Elizabeth, Kate, you must tell me stories of your days teaching at this school."
"Not without a lot more to drink than this," said Elizabeth. She took a deep breath and stood, her hands firmly planted on her desk, and leaned forward. "We're going to get Carson and Jennifer on this, find out what happened to Annabelle, and then you're all going to head back to Earth. Without doing anything else."
"You always were the optimistic one," said Kelly, smirking. "Can Polly and Celia get a look around? They want to come and work here after they graduate."
"Heaven help us all," said Kate. "Atlantis is doomed."
"Probably the Wraith, if we let St. Trinian's loose at them while Carson and Jennifer are working with Annabelle," said Elizabeth. She gave Teyla a speculative glance. "Want to have some fun?"
Teyla smiled, and it looked both enthused and sinister, which made Elizabeth worry more. Not for Teyla or the St. Trinian's girls, but for the fate of the galaxy. "I believe a short trip off-world could be arranged."
"That's the spirit," said Kelly, hopping back up. "Come on, it's a whole new galaxy. Where's your sense of fun, Miss Weir?"
"I think you brought it with you from St. Trinian's," said Kate, laughing. "Come on, let's get some popcorn and watch the Marines on security detail underestimate a bunch of schoolgirls."
--end--