Dear Nothing - Chapter 18 {All Time Low, Sing It Loud and Bring Me the Horizon}
Title: Dear Nothing
Author: havah24601
Rating: M
Characters: Jack Barakat (All Time Low), Pat Brown (Sing It Loud), Nate Flynn (Sing It Loud), Alex Gaskarth (All Time Low), Zack Merrick (All Time Low), Oli Sykes (Bring Me the Horizon), Tom Sykes
Pairings: Zack Merrick/Alex Gaskarth, Nate Flynn/Pat Brown (other pairings still undetermined)
Warnings: Abuse, violence, psychological torture, kidnap
POV: 1st Person, switches between all characters, as the story is written in journal entries.
Summary: A wealthy 16 year old boy goes missing only six months after a boy who had been presumed dead for over a year turned up unconscious outside of his school, unable to recall the majority of the past 17 months. Another boy tries to reclaim the love that he lost when the first boy disappeared while a fourth boy searches tirelessly to find the first. A young man finds himself growing up too fast, harming others in an attempt to protect the only person that he truly loves while a teenage boy works to keep both himself and the people around him sane as he balances the weight of the situation on his shoulders.
Disclaimer: Thank GOD this is fictional!
Author's Note: This is the last chapter! I hope that you all enjoyed it!
Dear Someone,
Everything is over. Everything has crashed and burned out. I’m back with Alex, he’s taking care of me, but the strength that I had during captivity is gone. I’m completely dependent on the people around me and I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to make their lives any more complicated, but Alex keeps telling me that I’m everything to him and if I don’t let him take care of me, he won’t know what to do with himself. I love him, I do, and I always will, but I’m afraid that I’m not good for him anymore. I wish that I knew what to do.
Oliver killed himself - the boy who helped me to escape, the one who saved my life, I’m sure. He did some terrible things, I just hope there’s something else out there, some way for him to be forgiven. He doesn’t deserve to have died that way, alone in a storage unit. I went to his funeral this morning, but I couldn’t go to the wake, I couldn’t take it, it was too much. Tom looked heartbroken, his eyes cast downwards the whole time, and I don’t know how he’s going to get through this. I wish that I could help him, but right now, I’m not well myself. I have to get to a better place before I can help him. I just hope that time comes soon.
-Zack Merrick
Dear Whoever,
I get the feeling that this will be my last entry. Things haven’t been going well and it’s time to end them. I’m scared, I’m fucking terrified, but it has to be done. I’m going to do what I should have done ages ago and shut these bastards down. Zack will go free, Tom will go free and everything will be well. Almost everything. My life was never meant to be amazing, and I’ve never really believed in fate before, but now I’m grabbing at empty straws and all that I can come up with is that I was put here, put through all of these tests to take these men down.
I know what I’m facing and death, it scares me. I’ve toyed with the idea of an afterlife - a heaven or a hell, and I don’t know if either one exists, but I’m trying to convince myself that they do. I am scared to die, to not exist anymore, but more than anything, I’m afraid of losing my ability to help Tom. It’s a Catch-22, really, he’s in danger if I’m alive, he’s alone if I’m dead. That’s why I’m hoping that there’s something after this - I don’t think I could handle not being able to watch over him. I love him, and I always will.
-Sykes
Dear No One,
Things have never been like this. Not once in my life. I’ve never known someone so close to my age who has died. I suppose that I always imagined when someone I knew who was closer to my age died, I would be shattered about it, and I am upset, but each time I look at Zack and I can’t help but hate Oliver a little. He could have done something about the situation so much sooner than he did, and I understand that, in a way, he martyred himself, but he was also one of them - he was one of the people who helped to hurt my Zack.
I went to the funeral, but only because Zack didn’t want to go alone. He’s not as strong as he used to be - he wakes in the middle of the night, shouting. I wish that I knew what to do, how to help him, but he says to just give him time, that he’ll heal. I hope that he’s right. I love Zack, and I hate that he’s hurting. He let me read his journal, the one he kept while he was in captivity, and he was amazingly strong while they were trying to break him down, but now that he’s back, it’s like all of the fight he used up trying to hold it together is gone. He’s weak, he’s dependent and he’s tired all of the time. He says he’ll get better. He’s promised me that he will. I just hope that’s the truth.
Sincerely,
Alexander
Dear Anyone,
Oli’s funeral was beautiful. Everyone who was there seemed to really care for him, even though it got out what he had done - his association with the people who had hurt Zack, I mean. I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t cry. Even looking down at his body in the casket I couldn’t summon tears, but Jack says he knows why. He knows that I can’t cry yet because it’s all still too overwhelming. He stood with me the whole time, his hand was resting lightly on my shoulder, giving me what he seemed to hope was some semblance of comfort. Between you and I, I don’t think it worked.
Mum didn’t show up - then again, I know that’s for the better. We didn’t invite her, but I suppose there was a part of me that wondered if she would show up anyways. After all, Oli’s death did make the news and she is his mother, or was. That’s going to be hard, making the transition, realizing that Oli’s gone and going on with my life anyway. I really hope that I can manage to do it, but I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to come to terms with this. Jack said that I won’t ever get over it, but I can get around it, so I suppose that’s what I’ll try to do. In all honesty, I’m not sure that I’ll write again, at least not in this journal, I feel like, similar to Oli’s last entry, this is my final - my conclusion. So that being said, goodbye.
-T.S.
Dear Hope,
I’m not sure how I feel about the death of Oliver Sykes. I know that he was a part of holding me, of keeping me, but he was also the person who made it possible for me to gain closure, to know that I was sane, that what I said was the truth. I don’t know how I feel about the way he died, but I do know that when I heard about his funeral from Pat, I felt a need to go. We did, Pat and I, even though he didn’t want to, and we paid our respects to him because even if he did help to hurt me, he ended it all.
Pat and I are doing well still. We’re getting closer every day. At this point, I’m thinking that I won’t remember our time together. Not now, not ever. It’s been so long that I feel I should have recalled it already, but I can accept that now. Maybe the memories that Pat holds of our relationship are gone for me, but he can tell me the stories and, in a way, it’s like a second beginning for us. We’re going to make new memories, have new stories, and with any luck, Pat will see those as just as good. Things are looking up. I know they’re still tough, but it’s all getting better, day by day.
: )
Dear Discord,
I’ve been keeping a careful watch on Tom - every second of every day I need to know where he is because I’m scared of what’s going to happen to him if I look away, afraid of what he’ll do to himself. I know that he’s skeptical, I know that he’s confused by all of this and I know that it’s hurting him more than he can say aloud, but I intend to do as I promised Oli I would. I am going to look after Tom Sykes, even if it takes everything that I’ve got. He needs someone, that much is clear, and there isn’t anyone else.
He hasn’t cried yet. Not once since his brother killed himself has he shed a tear, and unlike his distant relatives who called him a heartless child and such, I understand that. Sometimes, when things are hard like that, it takes a while for it to sink in. Once it sinks in, once he realizes what’s going on, when the reality hits him, he’ll shed all of the tears he’s been holding back. I hope that he can be alright again, but with what he’s been through, hoping is the best that I can do.
J. Barakat
Dear Vengeance,
I can’t believe that Nate wanted to go to the funeral for one of the men who did this to him. That Oliver Sykes took away Nate’s life, at least the way that it was. They took his freedom, for a long time, they had his sanity, and now they have his memories, and he can’t get them back. I went with him, of course, and I wouldn’t dare to let him see how hard it was for me to pretend to be sorry for the suicide when, if given the chance, I would probably have killed him myself. That’s part of what I like about Nate, however. He’s forgiving.
He’s made a lot of progress since he was released from the hospital, and I’ve been by his side every step of the way, just as I always intend to be. I love him, so much, and when he told me that he doesn’t think he’ll ever remember what we had, it broke my heart…for about ten seconds. Almost immediately he pulled me into a kiss, and when he broke that, he told me that he’d rather make new memories than spend the next year, two years, even, trying to remember what he had forgotten. I love him more every time I look at him, and I know that he’s what keeps me going.
Pat
Author's Note: Alright...so what do you guys think about a sequel? y/n? If yes, I will NOT be posting to olleh_sexplz as...Oli is dead, so if you are reading it there, send me a message and we'll figure something out.
Author: havah24601
Rating: M
Characters: Jack Barakat (All Time Low), Pat Brown (Sing It Loud), Nate Flynn (Sing It Loud), Alex Gaskarth (All Time Low), Zack Merrick (All Time Low), Oli Sykes (Bring Me the Horizon), Tom Sykes
Pairings: Zack Merrick/Alex Gaskarth, Nate Flynn/Pat Brown (other pairings still undetermined)
Warnings: Abuse, violence, psychological torture, kidnap
POV: 1st Person, switches between all characters, as the story is written in journal entries.
Summary: A wealthy 16 year old boy goes missing only six months after a boy who had been presumed dead for over a year turned up unconscious outside of his school, unable to recall the majority of the past 17 months. Another boy tries to reclaim the love that he lost when the first boy disappeared while a fourth boy searches tirelessly to find the first. A young man finds himself growing up too fast, harming others in an attempt to protect the only person that he truly loves while a teenage boy works to keep both himself and the people around him sane as he balances the weight of the situation on his shoulders.
Disclaimer: Thank GOD this is fictional!
Author's Note: This is the last chapter! I hope that you all enjoyed it!
Dear Someone,
Everything is over. Everything has crashed and burned out. I’m back with Alex, he’s taking care of me, but the strength that I had during captivity is gone. I’m completely dependent on the people around me and I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to make their lives any more complicated, but Alex keeps telling me that I’m everything to him and if I don’t let him take care of me, he won’t know what to do with himself. I love him, I do, and I always will, but I’m afraid that I’m not good for him anymore. I wish that I knew what to do.
Oliver killed himself - the boy who helped me to escape, the one who saved my life, I’m sure. He did some terrible things, I just hope there’s something else out there, some way for him to be forgiven. He doesn’t deserve to have died that way, alone in a storage unit. I went to his funeral this morning, but I couldn’t go to the wake, I couldn’t take it, it was too much. Tom looked heartbroken, his eyes cast downwards the whole time, and I don’t know how he’s going to get through this. I wish that I could help him, but right now, I’m not well myself. I have to get to a better place before I can help him. I just hope that time comes soon.
-Zack Merrick
Dear Whoever,
I get the feeling that this will be my last entry. Things haven’t been going well and it’s time to end them. I’m scared, I’m fucking terrified, but it has to be done. I’m going to do what I should have done ages ago and shut these bastards down. Zack will go free, Tom will go free and everything will be well. Almost everything. My life was never meant to be amazing, and I’ve never really believed in fate before, but now I’m grabbing at empty straws and all that I can come up with is that I was put here, put through all of these tests to take these men down.
I know what I’m facing and death, it scares me. I’ve toyed with the idea of an afterlife - a heaven or a hell, and I don’t know if either one exists, but I’m trying to convince myself that they do. I am scared to die, to not exist anymore, but more than anything, I’m afraid of losing my ability to help Tom. It’s a Catch-22, really, he’s in danger if I’m alive, he’s alone if I’m dead. That’s why I’m hoping that there’s something after this - I don’t think I could handle not being able to watch over him. I love him, and I always will.
-Sykes
Dear No One,
Things have never been like this. Not once in my life. I’ve never known someone so close to my age who has died. I suppose that I always imagined when someone I knew who was closer to my age died, I would be shattered about it, and I am upset, but each time I look at Zack and I can’t help but hate Oliver a little. He could have done something about the situation so much sooner than he did, and I understand that, in a way, he martyred himself, but he was also one of them - he was one of the people who helped to hurt my Zack.
I went to the funeral, but only because Zack didn’t want to go alone. He’s not as strong as he used to be - he wakes in the middle of the night, shouting. I wish that I knew what to do, how to help him, but he says to just give him time, that he’ll heal. I hope that he’s right. I love Zack, and I hate that he’s hurting. He let me read his journal, the one he kept while he was in captivity, and he was amazingly strong while they were trying to break him down, but now that he’s back, it’s like all of the fight he used up trying to hold it together is gone. He’s weak, he’s dependent and he’s tired all of the time. He says he’ll get better. He’s promised me that he will. I just hope that’s the truth.
Sincerely,
Alexander
Dear Anyone,
Oli’s funeral was beautiful. Everyone who was there seemed to really care for him, even though it got out what he had done - his association with the people who had hurt Zack, I mean. I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t cry. Even looking down at his body in the casket I couldn’t summon tears, but Jack says he knows why. He knows that I can’t cry yet because it’s all still too overwhelming. He stood with me the whole time, his hand was resting lightly on my shoulder, giving me what he seemed to hope was some semblance of comfort. Between you and I, I don’t think it worked.
Mum didn’t show up - then again, I know that’s for the better. We didn’t invite her, but I suppose there was a part of me that wondered if she would show up anyways. After all, Oli’s death did make the news and she is his mother, or was. That’s going to be hard, making the transition, realizing that Oli’s gone and going on with my life anyway. I really hope that I can manage to do it, but I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to come to terms with this. Jack said that I won’t ever get over it, but I can get around it, so I suppose that’s what I’ll try to do. In all honesty, I’m not sure that I’ll write again, at least not in this journal, I feel like, similar to Oli’s last entry, this is my final - my conclusion. So that being said, goodbye.
-T.S.
Dear Hope,
I’m not sure how I feel about the death of Oliver Sykes. I know that he was a part of holding me, of keeping me, but he was also the person who made it possible for me to gain closure, to know that I was sane, that what I said was the truth. I don’t know how I feel about the way he died, but I do know that when I heard about his funeral from Pat, I felt a need to go. We did, Pat and I, even though he didn’t want to, and we paid our respects to him because even if he did help to hurt me, he ended it all.
Pat and I are doing well still. We’re getting closer every day. At this point, I’m thinking that I won’t remember our time together. Not now, not ever. It’s been so long that I feel I should have recalled it already, but I can accept that now. Maybe the memories that Pat holds of our relationship are gone for me, but he can tell me the stories and, in a way, it’s like a second beginning for us. We’re going to make new memories, have new stories, and with any luck, Pat will see those as just as good. Things are looking up. I know they’re still tough, but it’s all getting better, day by day.
: )
Dear Discord,
I’ve been keeping a careful watch on Tom - every second of every day I need to know where he is because I’m scared of what’s going to happen to him if I look away, afraid of what he’ll do to himself. I know that he’s skeptical, I know that he’s confused by all of this and I know that it’s hurting him more than he can say aloud, but I intend to do as I promised Oli I would. I am going to look after Tom Sykes, even if it takes everything that I’ve got. He needs someone, that much is clear, and there isn’t anyone else.
He hasn’t cried yet. Not once since his brother killed himself has he shed a tear, and unlike his distant relatives who called him a heartless child and such, I understand that. Sometimes, when things are hard like that, it takes a while for it to sink in. Once it sinks in, once he realizes what’s going on, when the reality hits him, he’ll shed all of the tears he’s been holding back. I hope that he can be alright again, but with what he’s been through, hoping is the best that I can do.
J. Barakat
Dear Vengeance,
I can’t believe that Nate wanted to go to the funeral for one of the men who did this to him. That Oliver Sykes took away Nate’s life, at least the way that it was. They took his freedom, for a long time, they had his sanity, and now they have his memories, and he can’t get them back. I went with him, of course, and I wouldn’t dare to let him see how hard it was for me to pretend to be sorry for the suicide when, if given the chance, I would probably have killed him myself. That’s part of what I like about Nate, however. He’s forgiving.
He’s made a lot of progress since he was released from the hospital, and I’ve been by his side every step of the way, just as I always intend to be. I love him, so much, and when he told me that he doesn’t think he’ll ever remember what we had, it broke my heart…for about ten seconds. Almost immediately he pulled me into a kiss, and when he broke that, he told me that he’d rather make new memories than spend the next year, two years, even, trying to remember what he had forgotten. I love him more every time I look at him, and I know that he’s what keeps me going.
Pat
Author's Note: Alright...so what do you guys think about a sequel? y/n? If yes, I will NOT be posting to olleh_sexplz as...Oli is dead, so if you are reading it there, send me a message and we'll figure something out.