[fic] Boys Don't Cry 3/3
Title: Boys Don't Cry
Pairings: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Genre: romance, angst, smut
Warnings: mentioned abuse & violence
Chapters: 3/3
Summary: Yunho should have known trying to find out all of Jaejoong's secrets wouldn't end well, especially when he went and fell for the pretty thing.
A/N: Last part with pictures! ^^ Hope you guys enjoyed the story! <3
Part 3
It was a couple days after when Jaejoong appeared at Yunho's doorstep with his back bag on, carrying two heavy sacks of clothing, and stepped into the apartment before Yunho even managed to say hello. Jaejoong's hair was a mess and his lower lip was bleeding - Yunho was immediately so concerned that he felt physically ill.
"What happened?" Yunho asked before Jaejoong let go of his bags and embraced Yunho, arms wrapping around the taller man's neck. It took a while for Jaejoong to gather himself - he was shaking all over but Yunho's presence seemed to settle him.
"My landlord found out about where I work," Jaejoong told him, looking up at Yunho with a troubled gaze, "Can I stay here for a while?"
"You can stay as long as you'd like," Yunho gave his permission, cupping Jaejoong's cheek and wiping the blood off with this thumb, "You got all your stuff?"
"I think so," the shorter man nodded, biting his lip trying to gather the courage to tell him the truth, "I lied about my other job."
"I know," Yunho admitted, "I found an address from your pocket the other night and followed you there. I saw you performing."
Jaejoong looked puzzled for a moment, like he didn't know whether to get angry or say thank you for not making a big deal out of it.
"You saw me?"
"You have a beautiful voice," Yunho tried to make it better with a compliment, "But I don't think singing in a place like that is really what you want to do."
"Thank you," the other man mumbled, breaking out of Yunho's embrace to carry his belongings to his bedroom and then, sat on the bed. Yunho followed close behind, stopping to the threshold of the room to watch him. Why did Jaejoong have such bad luck? He was always getting in trouble.
"Did he hit you?" Yunho demanded, changing his weight from one foot to another. Jaejoong pulled one of his bags to the bed and opened it, getting out clothes and arranging them to neat piles on top of Yunho's bed covers.
"It wasn't what you think, I swear," Jaejoond said, trying to avoid Yunho's gaze, "He called me a queer and I hit him first."
"Well you did the right thing," Yunho sat next to him, wrapping an arm around the other man's waist and speaking to his ear softly, "And I can't say having you here is a bad thing either."
Jaejoong actually smiled at that, unpacking left forgotten as he pulled Yunho on top of him, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss.
Having Jaejoong around definitely wasn't a bad thing. Yunho loved the feeling of seeing Jaejoong's toothbrush next to his in the bathroom, his clothes scattered around the apartment, his scent in Yunho's pillow. He hadn't lived with anyone before, always thinking that he was more of a loner and preferring to have it that way, but with Jaejoong there, he was never bored. To Yunho's surprise, Jaejoong made a delicious breakfast for them every morning before they left to work and even though Yunho knew it was just the circumstances and he shouldn't think too much of it - he was starting to feel like they were a real couple.
The cockroach problem in his apartment was no longer only his, but theirs.
After a few days had passed since Jaejoong had moved in with him, Yunho caught a cold and was forced to skip work for a couple days. He really couldn't afford to stay sick for a long time, but with Jaejoong being there - promising to pay half of the month's rent, Yunho could stay in bed without worrying too much. Jaejoong did all the worrying instead of him, cooking him delicious Korean food Yunho hadn't gotten the chance to taste before and held him in bed, warming Yunho's body with his own when his fever went up. When Yunho was too tired to talk, it was Jaejoong who started sharing pieces of his life, slowly letting Yunho in on his hopes and dreams, and his past.
Jaejoong had left his parents' home only nine months ago, first living on the street before managing to get an apartment of his own and a job, struggling in life to move forward just like Yunho had. Jaejoong told him his parents hadn't contacted him after he had left - the years before that being enough to convince him there was no going back once he was gone. He had worked part time just to stay out of home, saving enough money to make it on his own in the big city without his parents to support him. Yunho couldn't imagine how hard life must have been for the other man - he had always had his parents love and caring, and even though they didn't have much money either, Yunho could always return to them if things wouldn't work out.
It was difficult to imagine what growing up without love must have felt like. Jaejoong was the only child, and as he said, even a bigger disappointment for his parents when he didn't grow up the way he was supposed to. It had been clear from the beginning that Jaejoong wasn't like other boys - he'd never enjoyed playing outside with the kids living next door to his family, he hated sports and all sort of physical activities. He had always preferred to play with the girls or alone in his room, avoiding his parents' accusing eyes the best he could. Jaejoong wasn't stupid, he had known there was something wrong with him, something that made his parents fall out of love with him, and figuring that out had been hard on him. Watching other boys in school, trying his best to be just like them, had resulted in him trying to be something he wasn't, making life even a bigger struggle for him.
As a teenager Jaejoong had been depressed, and Yunho couldn't really be surprised by the fact. There had been no way for him to express himself, when it came to the way he wanted to dress and the things he was interested in, his parents had told him they were wrong. He would have felt horrible too, growing up without any kind of love and understanding, without anyone to lean on. Yunho couldn't blame Jaejoong for wanting to keep it as a secret, each terrible story after another made Yunho feel all the pain Jaejoong had felt too. How the other man was able to tell him all this without breaking and sobbing all his sorrows was a mystery to Yunho. Jaejoong was a lot stronger than he had first thought - a lot stronger than him, and even though Yunho was scared they would someday break up and he would end up hurting Jaejoong, his feelings stayed the same. It was obvious that Jaejoong had been worried to share his life story with the other man - something told Yunho he had done so in the past and had been rejected afterwards, but with him Jaejoong felt safe and sound.
It was a lot of responsibility for a young man like Yunho, a huge weight placed on his shoulders, but each time he saw Jaejoong smile - he'd fall in love all over again.
When Jaejoong came back home from work on the next Saturday evening, Yunho could instantly tell something was wrong. His cold was already better but he was still feeling a bit too weak to go to work but when Jaejoong opened the door and entered their shared apartment that evening, Yunho knew he should have went with him.
The smaller man went to their small kitchen corner right after saying hello to Yunho, took out a few pans and kettles, and started chopping green onion to make dinner for them. Yunho was about to explain some boring details about his day when he noticed how the other man was shaking, the knife he was using to cut the vegetables missing its target.
"What's wrong?" Yunho asked, standing up from the bed and stepping behind Jaejoong to wrap his arms around him.
"Nothing," he replied, but his voice was strained and weird. Taking a hold of the other man's chin, Yunho turned him around so they could face each other. There was that strange look in Jaejoong's eyes again - panic and fear, maybe a hint of anger.
"Tell me," Yunho insisted, feeling more and more worried as Jaejoong continued to avoid his gaze.
"Why is it that with something good something bad comes as well," the shorter man breathed out, visibly shaking from trying to hold back his feelings, "I can never be happy, can I?"
"What are you talking about?" Yunho continued asking, "You're worrying me."
"I went to the office to pick up our paychecks today," Jaejoong explained after a short moment of silence, "Our boss, he told me he'd seen us. Last Tuesday, behind the dressing rooms when I... When I gave you head."
"Did he fire us?" Yunho grunted, knowing they would have gotten caught eventually anyway, "We should have tried to contain ourselves."
"That's not it," Jaejoong let out a joyless laughter, "Since he saw me with you... He figured it would be okay for him to touch me as well."
"What?" Yunho roared, his hold of Jaejoong's arms tightening, "I'm going to kill him!"
"I begged him for us to be able to keep our jobs," Jaejoong looked up, eyes filling with tears, "He told me we could if I'd blow him too."
"You didn't, did you?" Yunho breathed in fear, feeling too many emotions all at once, "Tell me you didn't."
"I didn't," Jaejoong said but Yunho knew he was lying.
"Jaejoong..."
"I told him I didn't want to but he wouldn't take no for an aswer... I feel so dirty," the smaller man broke into tears, for the first time in Yunho's presence as he pressed his body closer to Yunho, hands clutching the taller man's shirt, "Are you going to leave me now too? I just wanted for us to keep our jobs, I know how hard it is to get hired around here..."
"Of course not," Yunho assured, taking a hold of Jaejoong's face to look into his big, watery eyes, "You did that for us, didn't you? It wasn't your fault, that sick bastard is the one to blame..."
"I was so afraid he was going to rape me," Jaejoong breathed out, still shaking all over, "I wanted my first time to be with you, I had no other option but to do it..."
"Shh," Yunho hushed him, wiping Jaejoong's tears away with his thumbs, "I'm not mad at you, don't worry. You'll still get that."
"You don't think that it's cheating?"
"It's not like you wanted to do it," Yunho told him, taking steps backwards to guide Jaejoong to the bed. They sat down, embracing each other and Jaejoong pressed his face to Yunho's chest, violent shudders still wrecking his body.
"It's okay, let it all out," Yunho mumbled against his hair, fighting back his own tears threatening to spill as he felt Jaejoong sob against his chest, "It's not your fault, pretty... It's not your fault."
"I hate being so weak," Jaejoong cried out, "I don't want to cry like this... I should go and smash his face!"
"There's nothing bad about being weak," the taller man tried to reason, "You've been strong for too long but now you don't have to be, not anymore. I'll be strong for you."
"You're too good for me..."
"Don't say that," Yunho insisted, holding Jaejoong's body tightly, "You've been carrying all that weight on your shoulders for such a long time. Let me have some of it."
"Thank you," Jaejoong could only sob as years worth of unshed tears wet the fabric of Yunho's t-shirt. When the tears started coming there was no end to it, and Jaejoong cried in Yunho's embrace, cried when Yunho took him to bed and cried some more until they both fell asleep, feeling awfully tiny with all their problems and the weight of the world.
It had been going on for the whole week, waking up to Jaejoong plastered to his side with a leg thrown over Yunho's waist, trying to get as close as possible but on Sunday morning Yunho was the one to wake up first. Today the feeling was different - after last night's events Yunho was happy to see the other man sleeping so soundly. Jaejoong had been working for the whole week, being too tired to do anything other than sleep and eat after finally getting back home from work, pushing himself way too hard. There's was no work today and it would have been the perfect opportunity to sleep the whole afternoon away but Yunho couldn't. He was used to waking up before the entire city, and the fact that Jaejoong's lips were pressed against his neck definitely wasn't helping. He didn't want to think about sex at a time like this - Jaejoong had broken down so completely last night that Yunho had honestly been afraid for him.
But the other man was still sleeping like a rock, clutching Yunho's tank top in his sleep, breathing heavily with his hair tickling Yunho's chin, smiling in his sleep. Jaejoong was wearing one of Yunho's old t-shirts, way too big for him but in Yunho's opinion, awfully cute and sexy, with his black underwear that left a little to Yunho's imagination. Looking down to see Jaejoong's expression, Yunho grinned and slid his hand down Jaejoong's hip to his thigh, drawing invisible patterns with his fingers that had Jaejoong shifting closer in his sleep. Jaejoong was a heavy sleeper, it always took Yunho a good ten minutes to make him get up in the morning without physically dragging him out of bed.
He didn't stir when Yunho started playing with the hem of his underwear, working his fingers up and down the cleft of his ass, squeezing a soft cheek before rubbing over his clothed entrance. It didn't take long until Yunho felt a matching erection pressed up against his side, Jaejoong's hand sliding over his chest to pull him even closer. Yunho wasn't sure if it would be okay to continue but couldn't stop himself from pushing the piece of clothing aside, inching it down over Jaejoong's ass until he felt bare skin. His breathing had gotten so much faster on the way, his touches more courageous as his fingers found what they were looking for, his forefinger circling the rim of the puckered hole before slowly pressing inside.
Jaejoong let out a tiny whimper, hips undulating to get nearer to Yunho's fingers, a shaky breath ghosting over the skin of Yunho's neck.
"You're not really sleeping, are you?" Yunho knew, a lazy smile spreading to his lips when he felt the smaller man nod, his face still buried in Yunho's neck feeling horribly embarrassed for liking it.
"Do you want me to stop?" Yunho asked just in case, but felt Jaejoong shake his head and move his hips, his erection rubbing against Yunho's hipbone looking for friction.
Yunho took his hand away to quickly grab a bottle of lotion from his nightstand, squeezing some of it to his fingers and sliding them back to Jaejoong's behind. It worked with girls and it seemed to work with Jaejoong too - his two fingers slipped inside easily with the provided lubricant. Jaejoong gasped, his hold of Yunho's body tightening but he didn't pull back, only whimpering quietly when the digits started moving, twisting and turning inside him.
"Feel good?" Yunho mumbled again, dreading the moment when Jaejoong would decide he'd had enough and would push Yunho away. He wasn't sure Jaejoong even wanted to go that far with him - especially after what had happened last night, but for the lack of protest, figured it just might be alright.
"Yeah," Jaejoong admitted, hands finding their way to Yunho's hair to pull him closer, lips meeting Yunho's half way.
When Yunho added a third finger, Jaejoong started moaning again. Yunho could tell he was trying to keep quiet but couldn't, his cute little front teeth digging to his lower lip, fingers clasped in Yunho's hair. Yunho was hard as a rock but didn't really mind just pleasuring Jaejoong - based on the smaller man's expression he was already close anyway. Then Jaejoong started pushing back, leg sliding over Yunho's hip to get him closer, determined hands pushing Yunho's underwear down to get his cock out. Yunho's heart jumped in his chest and he was about to ask a million questions, but decided not to when Jaejoong turned around, got rid of his t-shirt and pressed his bare backside against Yunho's front.
"Hold me," he whispered, looking back at Yunho over his bony shoulder, gaze aroused and smoldering.
It was easier for Yunho to move his fingers like this, one arm wrapped around Jaejoong's torso while his fingers worked their way in and out of the smaller man's body. He hadn't fingered Jaejoong before, only touching his entrance lightly while rubbing his ass and he was surprised to find out how tight and hot Jaejoong's body was.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Yunho mumbled, his thinking clouded by the building lust, "After last night..."
"I'm fine," Jaejoong breathed out, reaching a hand behind him to grab Yunho's hair, "I just want to forget. I want to feel you, Yunho."
"I love you... You know that, right?" Yunho confessed without thinking, his hold of Jaejoong's body tightening in a possessive hug.
"I know," Jaejoong assured, a pleased smile spreading to his lips before letting out another moan, eyes falling shut as their bodies rocked.
It was easy - just like sex with Jaejoong always seemed to be, when Yunho pushed down the underwear still around Jaejoong's thighs to remove it completely. Another whimper escaped Jaejoong's lips as Yunho's fingers left his body to grab his own erection, spreading the lotion all over it, and pressed it down to guide it to his entrance. Yunho wasn't sure if Jaejoong's body was going to give in when the blunt head of his cock touched the smaller man's hole, but it slipped in pretty easily when Yunho gave it a little thrust. Jaejoong let out a really loud moan, his body going tense for a short moment but Yunho took his time, slowly going in deeper and stopping to catch his breath, allowing the other man to do the same.
There was another pained moan when Yunho finally did move his hips, pulling back and almost slipping out of Jaejoong's body before thrusting back in. It felt even better than Jaejoong's blowjobs, better than all the sex Yunho had had in his life put together, but the worry about hurting his lover made him slow down. Jaejoong was breathing really fast, his body coated in a thin layer of sweat but he didn't tell Yunho to stop, not even when the pace gradually got faster. Their lips met in a sloppy kiss, Jaejoong turning his face to the side to kiss Yunho over his shoulder, enjoying the lovely warmth of Yunho's body surrounding him all over. Yunho hugged his body tighter, not bothering to hide a few moans of his own, completely drunk on the intense feeling of pleasure.
Reaching over to grab Yunho's thigh - nails sinking into the muscle, Jaejoong started pushing back. Their hips were moving in a steady rhythm, almost like an erotic dance, before Jaejoong suddenly cried out, his climax taking him to a whole new height he hadn't experienced before. The way his body started shaking, muscles clenching randomly, made Yunho smirk against his neck as he tried to push in deeper, trying to feel as much of the other man's wonderful heat as possible. He slid a hand between Jaejoong's legs to stroke his cock but the smaller man was already coming, his cum staining Yunho's bed sheets with white, moaning and whimpering as Yunho continued to make love to him.
It got even more intense after that - Yunho didn't have to worry about hurting Jaejoong because after his orgasm he had became a whimpering mess, feverishly pushing back to Yunho's thrusts without caring if the moans coming from his mouth would wake up the whole neighborhood. Yunho flipped him over, a hand wrapped around Jaejoong's waist to keep his ass higher and fucked him harder, mouth sucking and biting the pale expanse of Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong was squeezing the pillows in his fists - holding onto the fabric like his life depended on it as Yunho's cock sunk into his body over and over again. It didn't take much longer for Yunho to come - he let out a long groan and emptied himself inside the other man, enjoying the easy slide after his cum had coated Jaejoong's insides.
Yunho collapsed on top of the other exhausted man soon after, Jaejoong's back pressed against his chest - his cock still nestled inside the other, and embraced him until both of their breathing had calmed down enough to speak.
"You okay?" Yunho mumbled, almost falling asleep in this throughoutly pleasured state, "I didn't hurt you, right?"
"I'm fine," Jaejoong assured, smiling and pushing back to Yunho's front, "You know... I have one more secret to share with you."
"Uh-huh?"
"I love you too," the smaller man confessed, feeling wonderful surrounded by Yunho's warm body and his blinding love.
Jaejoong was wide awake but pretended to be asleep when Yunho got out of bed and took a baseball bat from under his bed. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, and turned to the smaller man to plant a soft kiss to his forehead before heading out. The apartment felt awfully quiet and cold when Yunho wasn't there.
Jaejoong turned to look at the clock on Yunho's nightstand. It was almost four in the morning and their boss would be heading to work soon. He hugged a pillow to his chest, hoping and praying Yunho would come home, safe and sound.
Yunho had never really gotten into any big fights as a teenager. He had always been tall and strong enough to defend himself, but there was something oddly satisfying in the way his fist collided with a person's face, the bone giving out and breaking under his power. The guy had no chance of escaping, after one strong blow to the back of his head had made him fall to the ground, the next thing being a powerful kick to his side, he had been too busy curling up in pain to even look at his attacker's face.
Yunho was consumed by anger and couldn't stop before the man under him didn't move anymore, his body laying lifeless on the ground seeming too fragile to contain such a horrible soul. Someone bad enough to force another human to do sexual favors, someone willing to use a person weaker than him for his own benefit. In a way the situation was ironic - Yunho hoped the man had felt as helpless as Jaejoong had just before. Knowing he didn't have much time left until the other men working there would start showing up, Yunho stood up and spat to the ground, not sparing the man's body another glance. He tossed the bat to the ocean, stopped by the dressing rooms to wash his hands and face, and left the place.
The guy hadn't probably died but after waking up, he would know better than to ever touch something that wasn't his again. Even if he had died, it wouldn't make much difference anyway. Things were already as bad as they could get, if Yunho would someday be caught for what he had done. All that mattered now was Jaejoong, protecting his honor and the things Yunho believed in. Yunho knew he wasn't the brightest man in the bunch but he knew how to take care of his loved ones.
The adrenalin running through his veins made his hands shake as he made his way back to their apartment, smoking a cigarette on the way. It was the last day of the month and they had just received their paychecks the day before - it would be enough to get them as far away as possible by the first morning train. Jaejoong was wide awake when Yunho opened the door to their place, took a deep breath and tried to look as normal as possible. He was sitting in bed, wearing one of Yunho's old hoodies and smoking non stop with an empty can of beer as his ashtray, legs crossed under him.
"Hey," Yunho mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head but avoided Jaejoong's curious gaze.
"Where did you go?" he asked, biting his lip looking awfully cute but Yunho just ruffled his hair and opened a closet to dig up his old suitcase.
"Just to take care of some things," he explained simply, quickly grabbing a few shirts and starting to pack his bags, "Nothing to worry about."
"Are we leaving?" Jaejoong asked after a while spent in silence, clearly knowing what was going on the with the other man. The missing baseball bat was already a big enough clue.
"Yeah," Yunho paused and sat next to him before continuing, "This isn't the only big city in the country, you know. I figured if we can't make it here, we should just leave. To keep moving."
"Makes sense," Jaejoong agreed without asking any more questions, stood up and started helping the taller man.
As the train took them far to the Southern parts of the country, landscapes flying past them faster than Yunho could memorize, there was a part of him that felt true happiness. What he had done was heavily weighing on his mind but the content look on Jaejoong's face as he watched the fields and forest go by them, was enough to let him know it had been the right thing to do. Their hands were tightly clasped between them, their bags piled up on the floor next to them, but none of the other passengers really payed that much attention to the two men sitting so close to each other. Jaejoong was wearing Yunho's favorite pair of shorts, the ones that had caught his attention in what seemed like ages ago, and Yunho could barely keep his hands off the other man.
Yunho had always wanted to be a famous songwriter and with Jaejoong's voice, maybe he could have a chance to make his dreams come true in the place they were headed to. But recently, he had gotten another dream as well - a dream to make the beautiful man sitting next to him happy. It was a dream Yunho was sure would sooner or later become reality. He had lost his job and his pure conscience but gained something in return. Something money couldn't buy.
He wanted Jaejoong to have a normal life, to be able to wear pins in his hair or tiny shorts that barely covered his ass if that was what he wanted, to feel all the love he had lacked before in his life with Yunho. Yunho was going to protect him, never letting anyone hurt or abuse him again. Knowing the place they were headed to probably wouldn't be any less difficult to live in, Yunho wouldn't let the fact disturb them building a new life together. There was no reason for him to tell Jaejoong what he had done, it would only make him worry and that wasn't what the taller man wanted.
When Jaejoong looked up to him and smiled, eyes filled with excitement as Yunho leaned in to press their lips together - Yunho knew, that some secrets were better left untold.
Hit Counter
Pairings: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Genre: romance, angst, smut
Warnings: mentioned abuse & violence
Chapters: 3/3
Summary: Yunho should have known trying to find out all of Jaejoong's secrets wouldn't end well, especially when he went and fell for the pretty thing.
A/N: Last part with pictures! ^^ Hope you guys enjoyed the story! <3
Part 3
It was a couple days after when Jaejoong appeared at Yunho's doorstep with his back bag on, carrying two heavy sacks of clothing, and stepped into the apartment before Yunho even managed to say hello. Jaejoong's hair was a mess and his lower lip was bleeding - Yunho was immediately so concerned that he felt physically ill.
"What happened?" Yunho asked before Jaejoong let go of his bags and embraced Yunho, arms wrapping around the taller man's neck. It took a while for Jaejoong to gather himself - he was shaking all over but Yunho's presence seemed to settle him.
"My landlord found out about where I work," Jaejoong told him, looking up at Yunho with a troubled gaze, "Can I stay here for a while?"
"You can stay as long as you'd like," Yunho gave his permission, cupping Jaejoong's cheek and wiping the blood off with this thumb, "You got all your stuff?"
"I think so," the shorter man nodded, biting his lip trying to gather the courage to tell him the truth, "I lied about my other job."
"I know," Yunho admitted, "I found an address from your pocket the other night and followed you there. I saw you performing."
Jaejoong looked puzzled for a moment, like he didn't know whether to get angry or say thank you for not making a big deal out of it.
"You saw me?"
"You have a beautiful voice," Yunho tried to make it better with a compliment, "But I don't think singing in a place like that is really what you want to do."
"Thank you," the other man mumbled, breaking out of Yunho's embrace to carry his belongings to his bedroom and then, sat on the bed. Yunho followed close behind, stopping to the threshold of the room to watch him. Why did Jaejoong have such bad luck? He was always getting in trouble.
"Did he hit you?" Yunho demanded, changing his weight from one foot to another. Jaejoong pulled one of his bags to the bed and opened it, getting out clothes and arranging them to neat piles on top of Yunho's bed covers.
"It wasn't what you think, I swear," Jaejoond said, trying to avoid Yunho's gaze, "He called me a queer and I hit him first."
"Well you did the right thing," Yunho sat next to him, wrapping an arm around the other man's waist and speaking to his ear softly, "And I can't say having you here is a bad thing either."
Jaejoong actually smiled at that, unpacking left forgotten as he pulled Yunho on top of him, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss.
Having Jaejoong around definitely wasn't a bad thing. Yunho loved the feeling of seeing Jaejoong's toothbrush next to his in the bathroom, his clothes scattered around the apartment, his scent in Yunho's pillow. He hadn't lived with anyone before, always thinking that he was more of a loner and preferring to have it that way, but with Jaejoong there, he was never bored. To Yunho's surprise, Jaejoong made a delicious breakfast for them every morning before they left to work and even though Yunho knew it was just the circumstances and he shouldn't think too much of it - he was starting to feel like they were a real couple.
The cockroach problem in his apartment was no longer only his, but theirs.
After a few days had passed since Jaejoong had moved in with him, Yunho caught a cold and was forced to skip work for a couple days. He really couldn't afford to stay sick for a long time, but with Jaejoong being there - promising to pay half of the month's rent, Yunho could stay in bed without worrying too much. Jaejoong did all the worrying instead of him, cooking him delicious Korean food Yunho hadn't gotten the chance to taste before and held him in bed, warming Yunho's body with his own when his fever went up. When Yunho was too tired to talk, it was Jaejoong who started sharing pieces of his life, slowly letting Yunho in on his hopes and dreams, and his past.
Jaejoong had left his parents' home only nine months ago, first living on the street before managing to get an apartment of his own and a job, struggling in life to move forward just like Yunho had. Jaejoong told him his parents hadn't contacted him after he had left - the years before that being enough to convince him there was no going back once he was gone. He had worked part time just to stay out of home, saving enough money to make it on his own in the big city without his parents to support him. Yunho couldn't imagine how hard life must have been for the other man - he had always had his parents love and caring, and even though they didn't have much money either, Yunho could always return to them if things wouldn't work out.
It was difficult to imagine what growing up without love must have felt like. Jaejoong was the only child, and as he said, even a bigger disappointment for his parents when he didn't grow up the way he was supposed to. It had been clear from the beginning that Jaejoong wasn't like other boys - he'd never enjoyed playing outside with the kids living next door to his family, he hated sports and all sort of physical activities. He had always preferred to play with the girls or alone in his room, avoiding his parents' accusing eyes the best he could. Jaejoong wasn't stupid, he had known there was something wrong with him, something that made his parents fall out of love with him, and figuring that out had been hard on him. Watching other boys in school, trying his best to be just like them, had resulted in him trying to be something he wasn't, making life even a bigger struggle for him.
As a teenager Jaejoong had been depressed, and Yunho couldn't really be surprised by the fact. There had been no way for him to express himself, when it came to the way he wanted to dress and the things he was interested in, his parents had told him they were wrong. He would have felt horrible too, growing up without any kind of love and understanding, without anyone to lean on. Yunho couldn't blame Jaejoong for wanting to keep it as a secret, each terrible story after another made Yunho feel all the pain Jaejoong had felt too. How the other man was able to tell him all this without breaking and sobbing all his sorrows was a mystery to Yunho. Jaejoong was a lot stronger than he had first thought - a lot stronger than him, and even though Yunho was scared they would someday break up and he would end up hurting Jaejoong, his feelings stayed the same. It was obvious that Jaejoong had been worried to share his life story with the other man - something told Yunho he had done so in the past and had been rejected afterwards, but with him Jaejoong felt safe and sound.
It was a lot of responsibility for a young man like Yunho, a huge weight placed on his shoulders, but each time he saw Jaejoong smile - he'd fall in love all over again.
When Jaejoong came back home from work on the next Saturday evening, Yunho could instantly tell something was wrong. His cold was already better but he was still feeling a bit too weak to go to work but when Jaejoong opened the door and entered their shared apartment that evening, Yunho knew he should have went with him.
The smaller man went to their small kitchen corner right after saying hello to Yunho, took out a few pans and kettles, and started chopping green onion to make dinner for them. Yunho was about to explain some boring details about his day when he noticed how the other man was shaking, the knife he was using to cut the vegetables missing its target.
"What's wrong?" Yunho asked, standing up from the bed and stepping behind Jaejoong to wrap his arms around him.
"Nothing," he replied, but his voice was strained and weird. Taking a hold of the other man's chin, Yunho turned him around so they could face each other. There was that strange look in Jaejoong's eyes again - panic and fear, maybe a hint of anger.
"Tell me," Yunho insisted, feeling more and more worried as Jaejoong continued to avoid his gaze.
"Why is it that with something good something bad comes as well," the shorter man breathed out, visibly shaking from trying to hold back his feelings, "I can never be happy, can I?"
"What are you talking about?" Yunho continued asking, "You're worrying me."
"I went to the office to pick up our paychecks today," Jaejoong explained after a short moment of silence, "Our boss, he told me he'd seen us. Last Tuesday, behind the dressing rooms when I... When I gave you head."
"Did he fire us?" Yunho grunted, knowing they would have gotten caught eventually anyway, "We should have tried to contain ourselves."
"That's not it," Jaejoong let out a joyless laughter, "Since he saw me with you... He figured it would be okay for him to touch me as well."
"What?" Yunho roared, his hold of Jaejoong's arms tightening, "I'm going to kill him!"
"I begged him for us to be able to keep our jobs," Jaejoong looked up, eyes filling with tears, "He told me we could if I'd blow him too."
"You didn't, did you?" Yunho breathed in fear, feeling too many emotions all at once, "Tell me you didn't."
"I didn't," Jaejoong said but Yunho knew he was lying.
"Jaejoong..."
"I told him I didn't want to but he wouldn't take no for an aswer... I feel so dirty," the smaller man broke into tears, for the first time in Yunho's presence as he pressed his body closer to Yunho, hands clutching the taller man's shirt, "Are you going to leave me now too? I just wanted for us to keep our jobs, I know how hard it is to get hired around here..."
"Of course not," Yunho assured, taking a hold of Jaejoong's face to look into his big, watery eyes, "You did that for us, didn't you? It wasn't your fault, that sick bastard is the one to blame..."
"I was so afraid he was going to rape me," Jaejoong breathed out, still shaking all over, "I wanted my first time to be with you, I had no other option but to do it..."
"Shh," Yunho hushed him, wiping Jaejoong's tears away with his thumbs, "I'm not mad at you, don't worry. You'll still get that."
"You don't think that it's cheating?"
"It's not like you wanted to do it," Yunho told him, taking steps backwards to guide Jaejoong to the bed. They sat down, embracing each other and Jaejoong pressed his face to Yunho's chest, violent shudders still wrecking his body.
"It's okay, let it all out," Yunho mumbled against his hair, fighting back his own tears threatening to spill as he felt Jaejoong sob against his chest, "It's not your fault, pretty... It's not your fault."
"I hate being so weak," Jaejoong cried out, "I don't want to cry like this... I should go and smash his face!"
"There's nothing bad about being weak," the taller man tried to reason, "You've been strong for too long but now you don't have to be, not anymore. I'll be strong for you."
"You're too good for me..."
"Don't say that," Yunho insisted, holding Jaejoong's body tightly, "You've been carrying all that weight on your shoulders for such a long time. Let me have some of it."
"Thank you," Jaejoong could only sob as years worth of unshed tears wet the fabric of Yunho's t-shirt. When the tears started coming there was no end to it, and Jaejoong cried in Yunho's embrace, cried when Yunho took him to bed and cried some more until they both fell asleep, feeling awfully tiny with all their problems and the weight of the world.
It had been going on for the whole week, waking up to Jaejoong plastered to his side with a leg thrown over Yunho's waist, trying to get as close as possible but on Sunday morning Yunho was the one to wake up first. Today the feeling was different - after last night's events Yunho was happy to see the other man sleeping so soundly. Jaejoong had been working for the whole week, being too tired to do anything other than sleep and eat after finally getting back home from work, pushing himself way too hard. There's was no work today and it would have been the perfect opportunity to sleep the whole afternoon away but Yunho couldn't. He was used to waking up before the entire city, and the fact that Jaejoong's lips were pressed against his neck definitely wasn't helping. He didn't want to think about sex at a time like this - Jaejoong had broken down so completely last night that Yunho had honestly been afraid for him.
But the other man was still sleeping like a rock, clutching Yunho's tank top in his sleep, breathing heavily with his hair tickling Yunho's chin, smiling in his sleep. Jaejoong was wearing one of Yunho's old t-shirts, way too big for him but in Yunho's opinion, awfully cute and sexy, with his black underwear that left a little to Yunho's imagination. Looking down to see Jaejoong's expression, Yunho grinned and slid his hand down Jaejoong's hip to his thigh, drawing invisible patterns with his fingers that had Jaejoong shifting closer in his sleep. Jaejoong was a heavy sleeper, it always took Yunho a good ten minutes to make him get up in the morning without physically dragging him out of bed.
He didn't stir when Yunho started playing with the hem of his underwear, working his fingers up and down the cleft of his ass, squeezing a soft cheek before rubbing over his clothed entrance. It didn't take long until Yunho felt a matching erection pressed up against his side, Jaejoong's hand sliding over his chest to pull him even closer. Yunho wasn't sure if it would be okay to continue but couldn't stop himself from pushing the piece of clothing aside, inching it down over Jaejoong's ass until he felt bare skin. His breathing had gotten so much faster on the way, his touches more courageous as his fingers found what they were looking for, his forefinger circling the rim of the puckered hole before slowly pressing inside.
Jaejoong let out a tiny whimper, hips undulating to get nearer to Yunho's fingers, a shaky breath ghosting over the skin of Yunho's neck.
"You're not really sleeping, are you?" Yunho knew, a lazy smile spreading to his lips when he felt the smaller man nod, his face still buried in Yunho's neck feeling horribly embarrassed for liking it.
"Do you want me to stop?" Yunho asked just in case, but felt Jaejoong shake his head and move his hips, his erection rubbing against Yunho's hipbone looking for friction.
Yunho took his hand away to quickly grab a bottle of lotion from his nightstand, squeezing some of it to his fingers and sliding them back to Jaejoong's behind. It worked with girls and it seemed to work with Jaejoong too - his two fingers slipped inside easily with the provided lubricant. Jaejoong gasped, his hold of Yunho's body tightening but he didn't pull back, only whimpering quietly when the digits started moving, twisting and turning inside him.
"Feel good?" Yunho mumbled again, dreading the moment when Jaejoong would decide he'd had enough and would push Yunho away. He wasn't sure Jaejoong even wanted to go that far with him - especially after what had happened last night, but for the lack of protest, figured it just might be alright.
"Yeah," Jaejoong admitted, hands finding their way to Yunho's hair to pull him closer, lips meeting Yunho's half way.
When Yunho added a third finger, Jaejoong started moaning again. Yunho could tell he was trying to keep quiet but couldn't, his cute little front teeth digging to his lower lip, fingers clasped in Yunho's hair. Yunho was hard as a rock but didn't really mind just pleasuring Jaejoong - based on the smaller man's expression he was already close anyway. Then Jaejoong started pushing back, leg sliding over Yunho's hip to get him closer, determined hands pushing Yunho's underwear down to get his cock out. Yunho's heart jumped in his chest and he was about to ask a million questions, but decided not to when Jaejoong turned around, got rid of his t-shirt and pressed his bare backside against Yunho's front.
"Hold me," he whispered, looking back at Yunho over his bony shoulder, gaze aroused and smoldering.
It was easier for Yunho to move his fingers like this, one arm wrapped around Jaejoong's torso while his fingers worked their way in and out of the smaller man's body. He hadn't fingered Jaejoong before, only touching his entrance lightly while rubbing his ass and he was surprised to find out how tight and hot Jaejoong's body was.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Yunho mumbled, his thinking clouded by the building lust, "After last night..."
"I'm fine," Jaejoong breathed out, reaching a hand behind him to grab Yunho's hair, "I just want to forget. I want to feel you, Yunho."
"I love you... You know that, right?" Yunho confessed without thinking, his hold of Jaejoong's body tightening in a possessive hug.
"I know," Jaejoong assured, a pleased smile spreading to his lips before letting out another moan, eyes falling shut as their bodies rocked.
It was easy - just like sex with Jaejoong always seemed to be, when Yunho pushed down the underwear still around Jaejoong's thighs to remove it completely. Another whimper escaped Jaejoong's lips as Yunho's fingers left his body to grab his own erection, spreading the lotion all over it, and pressed it down to guide it to his entrance. Yunho wasn't sure if Jaejoong's body was going to give in when the blunt head of his cock touched the smaller man's hole, but it slipped in pretty easily when Yunho gave it a little thrust. Jaejoong let out a really loud moan, his body going tense for a short moment but Yunho took his time, slowly going in deeper and stopping to catch his breath, allowing the other man to do the same.
There was another pained moan when Yunho finally did move his hips, pulling back and almost slipping out of Jaejoong's body before thrusting back in. It felt even better than Jaejoong's blowjobs, better than all the sex Yunho had had in his life put together, but the worry about hurting his lover made him slow down. Jaejoong was breathing really fast, his body coated in a thin layer of sweat but he didn't tell Yunho to stop, not even when the pace gradually got faster. Their lips met in a sloppy kiss, Jaejoong turning his face to the side to kiss Yunho over his shoulder, enjoying the lovely warmth of Yunho's body surrounding him all over. Yunho hugged his body tighter, not bothering to hide a few moans of his own, completely drunk on the intense feeling of pleasure.
Reaching over to grab Yunho's thigh - nails sinking into the muscle, Jaejoong started pushing back. Their hips were moving in a steady rhythm, almost like an erotic dance, before Jaejoong suddenly cried out, his climax taking him to a whole new height he hadn't experienced before. The way his body started shaking, muscles clenching randomly, made Yunho smirk against his neck as he tried to push in deeper, trying to feel as much of the other man's wonderful heat as possible. He slid a hand between Jaejoong's legs to stroke his cock but the smaller man was already coming, his cum staining Yunho's bed sheets with white, moaning and whimpering as Yunho continued to make love to him.
It got even more intense after that - Yunho didn't have to worry about hurting Jaejoong because after his orgasm he had became a whimpering mess, feverishly pushing back to Yunho's thrusts without caring if the moans coming from his mouth would wake up the whole neighborhood. Yunho flipped him over, a hand wrapped around Jaejoong's waist to keep his ass higher and fucked him harder, mouth sucking and biting the pale expanse of Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong was squeezing the pillows in his fists - holding onto the fabric like his life depended on it as Yunho's cock sunk into his body over and over again. It didn't take much longer for Yunho to come - he let out a long groan and emptied himself inside the other man, enjoying the easy slide after his cum had coated Jaejoong's insides.
Yunho collapsed on top of the other exhausted man soon after, Jaejoong's back pressed against his chest - his cock still nestled inside the other, and embraced him until both of their breathing had calmed down enough to speak.
"You okay?" Yunho mumbled, almost falling asleep in this throughoutly pleasured state, "I didn't hurt you, right?"
"I'm fine," Jaejoong assured, smiling and pushing back to Yunho's front, "You know... I have one more secret to share with you."
"Uh-huh?"
"I love you too," the smaller man confessed, feeling wonderful surrounded by Yunho's warm body and his blinding love.
Jaejoong was wide awake but pretended to be asleep when Yunho got out of bed and took a baseball bat from under his bed. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, and turned to the smaller man to plant a soft kiss to his forehead before heading out. The apartment felt awfully quiet and cold when Yunho wasn't there.
Jaejoong turned to look at the clock on Yunho's nightstand. It was almost four in the morning and their boss would be heading to work soon. He hugged a pillow to his chest, hoping and praying Yunho would come home, safe and sound.
Yunho had never really gotten into any big fights as a teenager. He had always been tall and strong enough to defend himself, but there was something oddly satisfying in the way his fist collided with a person's face, the bone giving out and breaking under his power. The guy had no chance of escaping, after one strong blow to the back of his head had made him fall to the ground, the next thing being a powerful kick to his side, he had been too busy curling up in pain to even look at his attacker's face.
Yunho was consumed by anger and couldn't stop before the man under him didn't move anymore, his body laying lifeless on the ground seeming too fragile to contain such a horrible soul. Someone bad enough to force another human to do sexual favors, someone willing to use a person weaker than him for his own benefit. In a way the situation was ironic - Yunho hoped the man had felt as helpless as Jaejoong had just before. Knowing he didn't have much time left until the other men working there would start showing up, Yunho stood up and spat to the ground, not sparing the man's body another glance. He tossed the bat to the ocean, stopped by the dressing rooms to wash his hands and face, and left the place.
The guy hadn't probably died but after waking up, he would know better than to ever touch something that wasn't his again. Even if he had died, it wouldn't make much difference anyway. Things were already as bad as they could get, if Yunho would someday be caught for what he had done. All that mattered now was Jaejoong, protecting his honor and the things Yunho believed in. Yunho knew he wasn't the brightest man in the bunch but he knew how to take care of his loved ones.
The adrenalin running through his veins made his hands shake as he made his way back to their apartment, smoking a cigarette on the way. It was the last day of the month and they had just received their paychecks the day before - it would be enough to get them as far away as possible by the first morning train. Jaejoong was wide awake when Yunho opened the door to their place, took a deep breath and tried to look as normal as possible. He was sitting in bed, wearing one of Yunho's old hoodies and smoking non stop with an empty can of beer as his ashtray, legs crossed under him.
"Hey," Yunho mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head but avoided Jaejoong's curious gaze.
"Where did you go?" he asked, biting his lip looking awfully cute but Yunho just ruffled his hair and opened a closet to dig up his old suitcase.
"Just to take care of some things," he explained simply, quickly grabbing a few shirts and starting to pack his bags, "Nothing to worry about."
"Are we leaving?" Jaejoong asked after a while spent in silence, clearly knowing what was going on the with the other man. The missing baseball bat was already a big enough clue.
"Yeah," Yunho paused and sat next to him before continuing, "This isn't the only big city in the country, you know. I figured if we can't make it here, we should just leave. To keep moving."
"Makes sense," Jaejoong agreed without asking any more questions, stood up and started helping the taller man.
As the train took them far to the Southern parts of the country, landscapes flying past them faster than Yunho could memorize, there was a part of him that felt true happiness. What he had done was heavily weighing on his mind but the content look on Jaejoong's face as he watched the fields and forest go by them, was enough to let him know it had been the right thing to do. Their hands were tightly clasped between them, their bags piled up on the floor next to them, but none of the other passengers really payed that much attention to the two men sitting so close to each other. Jaejoong was wearing Yunho's favorite pair of shorts, the ones that had caught his attention in what seemed like ages ago, and Yunho could barely keep his hands off the other man.
Yunho had always wanted to be a famous songwriter and with Jaejoong's voice, maybe he could have a chance to make his dreams come true in the place they were headed to. But recently, he had gotten another dream as well - a dream to make the beautiful man sitting next to him happy. It was a dream Yunho was sure would sooner or later become reality. He had lost his job and his pure conscience but gained something in return. Something money couldn't buy.
He wanted Jaejoong to have a normal life, to be able to wear pins in his hair or tiny shorts that barely covered his ass if that was what he wanted, to feel all the love he had lacked before in his life with Yunho. Yunho was going to protect him, never letting anyone hurt or abuse him again. Knowing the place they were headed to probably wouldn't be any less difficult to live in, Yunho wouldn't let the fact disturb them building a new life together. There was no reason for him to tell Jaejoong what he had done, it would only make him worry and that wasn't what the taller man wanted.
When Jaejoong looked up to him and smiled, eyes filled with excitement as Yunho leaned in to press their lips together - Yunho knew, that some secrets were better left untold.
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