Craft 4: On Description and Setting

[harmony_bites]

Stephen King says the basic elements of a story are dialogue, narrative--and description.

This one's a case of either far too much or far too little I think. Sensory detail locks us into a story, makes it real. Otoh, I really could do with far less description of Hermione's gowns, dresses, and robes...

Comments

[anonymous]

*sigh* this is the part that I struggle with the most, I would have to say. Coming from a scientific background, I like things to be short, concise and right to the point. All that frou frou descriptive stuff that helps ground the reader is extremely hard for me to insert. But yes, it is highly important.

I read stuff that has beautifully inserted descriptions (like the paragraphs you quoted by argosy) and I just want to weep. How do they make it look so easy?

Btw - did I ever tell you how useful all this stuff you're putting up is? You need a website on how to write fanfiction. :)

[clare009]

Darn it, wasn't logged in.

[harmony_bites]

*sigh* this is the part that I struggle with the most, I would have to say. Coming from a scientific background, I like things to be short, concise and right to the point.

My training and experience is in politics and the law--neither of them notable for conciseness--but my style tends to be spare too, and I think this is the aspect of writing I, too, struggle with the most. It truly isn't easy--particularly since it's a balance. I do love the way argosy and snarkyroxy do it--they tend to be very vivid so you can see, hear, feel, smell--but w/o being intrusive.

Other fanfic truly goes too far in the other direction in ways I find highly annoying. I'm with King--spare me the descriptions of Hermione gazing in the mirror like Cinderella--with detailed descriptions of the color of her gown, the fabric, the embroidery. Eeeiiiiiiaaaa.

Oh, and the "obsidian orbs" have GOT to go.

All that frou frou descriptive stuff that helps ground the reader is extremely hard for me to insert.It really is a POV issue--about staying inside your character and thinking

[clare009]

Ah yes, Talking Stick and Circle is one of my all time faves - especially since my very first fandom on the internet was voyager. I look back, though, at some of the first stuff I wrote and cringe - most of it is pretty bad.

When it comes to good writing, my inspirations in the fanfic circle have always been Anne and Abby (of Fire & Rose fame) who also wrote in the Voyager fandom although did not gain as much status there as they did in HP.

[darth_luna]

These are such helpful posts. I loved John Ordover's advice the most: Even sentence must serve at least two of these three masters and three if at all possible: move the story along; flesh out the character; service the background sensory details. A sentence that does only one of these things is probably not a strong enough sentence. This, I think, is what argosy does in the wonderful examples you quoted. God, I aspire to write half that well!

[harmony_bites]

I'm glad they've been helpful. I like Ordover's advice too--and I think you're right, that's part of why the passages by argosy were so effective--they're not just about description but illuminate Sirius' character and the theme.

God, I aspire to write half that well!

Me too!

[argosy]

God, I aspire to write half that well!

Me too!

Oh, puh-leez.

[harmony_bites]

Heh. We fan-girl you. Live with it *sticks out tongue*

[darth_luna]

Any chance you'll get around soon to my greatest weakness-- plot?

[harmony_bites]

Any chance you'll get around soon to my greatest weakness-- plot?

LOL. I'll give it a shot when I can. I keep rooting around in that "manual" for what I can hit.

I'm partly doing this because I might as well share that advice--and it's actually disappeared from the AOL forum.

Also, I'd been emphasizing the major weaknesses I see in fanfic, particularly the ones that hit you between the eyes when you read. Giving advice like "just use said" or "try to get all 5 senses into every 500 words" is pretty simple--trying to condense advice on plot into bite-sized chunks... not so easy.

But if you want to pick up a good writing book on craft, any of the ones I've been quoting come highly recommended--King's, George's, Lukeman's, and Self-Editing.

[argosy]

Arghh! I had a whole big comment here, but it disappeared!

Mostly what I tried to say was that I am just as clueless about description as anyone, and if I have a secret (ha) it's that I don't put in any unless I'm forced to. I don't know how descriptive the quotes you used were, but in each case, I had to establish a place (and in the first case an event). So I don't spend a long time saying what the rooms look like, but I do try to say how Sirius feels about it. And why not a little joke, if I can fit them in?

The funny thing is, then people do compliment my "descriptions," and I'm like, "what descriptions?" because I never feel like I do any. But there you go.

I like the advice here, but getting all three things in in each sentence? In screenwriting, they say you have to 1)advance the plot OR 2)develop the character in each scene. But that's an either/or and for whole scenes. I don't know about every sentence

[harmony_bites]

So I don't spend a long time saying what the rooms look like, but I do try to say how Sirius feels about it.

I think that's the trick to it though--that its a function of POV, and of staying in your character's head.

I like the advice here, but getting all three things in in each sentence?

As much as possible. This is a bit more on the subject from Ordover:

WRONG