071. (fic) tandem
title: tandem
rating/genre: g; au, crack
pairing(s): ohmiya
words: 948
summary: arashi are high school teachers :D
disclaimer: FICTION.
notes: complete and utter crack that somehow spawned from the latest ep. of HnA (i guess the title kind of gives it away?) fluff and silliness, please enjoy :)
The bell in the school tower chimes the quarter hour, and this close to eight o’clock the teachers’ room is full of hustling bodies. In the corner by the kitchenette, a group of female teachers is drinking coffee and laughing demurely behind their hands at something Vice Principal Matsumoto just said. Except for Inoue-sensei, the diminutive third-year language teacher, who just smacks him on the arm. A moment later, Aiba-sensei bounds over to interrupt with a question about his new syllabus for his biology classes.
But, across the room, the atmosphere at Sakurai-sensei’s desk is very different. Though he should be writing up a sign-out list for gym materials, Sho is just sitting at his desk, slouched down and staring into space with an expression of bemused consternation.
“What’s up with you?” Aiba asks, sitting himself down on top of Sho’s overly neat desk. Jun follows him over, sipping his coffee.
Sho blinks, bringing himself back to the present forcibly before speaking. “I almost gave a demerit to a teacher this morning.”
“Who?” Jun asks in professional curiosity.
“Nino and Ohno.”
“What?” Aiba is already smiling in anticipation. “Why?”
“Well,” Sho begins, “I was standing at the school gate, right? Monitoring the students’ arrival, you know, like usual, and then I saw two people coming up the hill together on the same bike, and since riding double is against the rules, I blew my whistle, and I was going to give them demerits, but…”
The memory is still vivid in Sho’s mind. Nino and Ohno waving jauntily as they whizzed by, and ringing the bell as they went. They had even remembered to wear helmets. Matching helmets.
“But what?” Jun asks impatiently.
Sho shakes himself again. “Well, it was a tandem.”
Jun raises an eyebrow. “Pardon?”
“A tandem bicycle. The kind with two seats.”
Aiba and Jun exchange a glance. And then, with a triumphant grin, Aiba says: “That so counts!”
Jun scowls and starts to dig around in his pocket. A moment later he produces a thousand yen note and puts it in Aiba’s now outstretched hand.
“Jun!” Sho exclaims, scandalized. “You are the vice-principal! You can’t gamble!”
“Oh, chill out, Sho-chan,” Jun scoffs, making his way back to his desk at the head of the room. “Making bets with Aiba is not really gambling.”
Sho swings his gaze over to Aiba. “You bet him that Nino and Ohno would get a tandem?”
“No, I just bet they’d start riding in on the same bike. Totally counts,” he reiterates, tucking the bill into his shirt pocket.
“You’re setting a terrible example,” Sho mutters, but Jun waves a dismissive hand.
“There aren’t even any students around to see it,” he says, and as if on cue, the door to the teacher’s room is suddenly full of a giggling bunch of senior girls.
“Good morning,” they sing out in unison, and then a ring-leader steps forward. “Are Ohno-sensei and Ninomiya-sensei here?”
“No, they’re not in yet,” Aiba answers brightly. “Did you need something?”
“Oh, well,” the girl stammers, blushing, jostled from behind by her friends, “we just-we saw them on that bicycle this morning, and it was really cu-cool, so-”
“Why thank you, Aki-chan!” Nino’s voice comes suddenly from the hallway behind the girls, who part, giggling some more, as Nino and Ohno enter, hand in hand.
“It is pretty cool, isn’t it?” Nino continues. “Why don’t you all come and try it out after school?”
“But we want to see Ninomiya-sensei and Ohno-sensei riding it together!” one of the students blurts out, in a burst of enthusiasm.
“Well, we can probably arrange that, too,” Nino says with a wink. A few of the girls let out little squeals. “But, off to class with you! Homeroom starts in five minutes!”
With a chorus of “yes, sensei!” the girls dash off. Nino watches them go with a satisfied smirk, then proceeds to drag Ohno off towards their desks.
“Satoshi-kun!” Sho calls after him, a little desperately. “Why do you keep letting Nino talk you into these things?”
“Hey!” Nino protests. “Why do you immediately assume this was my idea?”
“It seemed like it would be fun,” Ohno answers with a shrug. “It was fun.” And when he turns to Nino with a beatific smile, the younger man beams and leans in to rub their noses together in a sickeningly sweet Eskimo kiss. There are several appreciative sighs from around the room.
“Ahem,” Jun clears his throat loudly. Nino scowls and mouths something at Ohno that looks suspiciously like “later”.
Sho rises, fully intending to give Nino a lecture on appropriate in-school behavior, but just then the bell rings again, and everyone starts making their way to homeroom. Fukiishi-sensei, the female phys ed. teacher waves at Sho from the door to hurry up. He grabs his clipboard and jogs across the room, glancing back one more time before leaving.
Nino and Ohno are, naturally, lagging behind, although it seems to be for the legitimate reason that Ohno can’t find something in his wreck of a desk. After another moment of searching, he comes back up empty handed and disappointed, until Nino reaches out to pull something out of Ohno’s front pocket-a little paintbrush, apparently the very one Ohno was looking for, judging by the way his face lights up. Nino just shakes his head and, seeing that there’s no one else around except Sho-who he winks at-he leans in to kiss Ohno soundly on the cheek.
Sho rolls his eyes, but finds himself smiling. As he makes his way down the hall to his own homeroom, he thinks, It’s going to be a long week.
Author's Note: har har, sho the gym teacher, OH THE IRONY. or something. ehn, no time for real author's noting, have to run to class!
rating/genre: g; au, crack
pairing(s): ohmiya
words: 948
summary: arashi are high school teachers :D
disclaimer: FICTION.
notes: complete and utter crack that somehow spawned from the latest ep. of HnA (i guess the title kind of gives it away?) fluff and silliness, please enjoy :)
The bell in the school tower chimes the quarter hour, and this close to eight o’clock the teachers’ room is full of hustling bodies. In the corner by the kitchenette, a group of female teachers is drinking coffee and laughing demurely behind their hands at something Vice Principal Matsumoto just said. Except for Inoue-sensei, the diminutive third-year language teacher, who just smacks him on the arm. A moment later, Aiba-sensei bounds over to interrupt with a question about his new syllabus for his biology classes.
But, across the room, the atmosphere at Sakurai-sensei’s desk is very different. Though he should be writing up a sign-out list for gym materials, Sho is just sitting at his desk, slouched down and staring into space with an expression of bemused consternation.
“What’s up with you?” Aiba asks, sitting himself down on top of Sho’s overly neat desk. Jun follows him over, sipping his coffee.
Sho blinks, bringing himself back to the present forcibly before speaking. “I almost gave a demerit to a teacher this morning.”
“Who?” Jun asks in professional curiosity.
“Nino and Ohno.”
“What?” Aiba is already smiling in anticipation. “Why?”
“Well,” Sho begins, “I was standing at the school gate, right? Monitoring the students’ arrival, you know, like usual, and then I saw two people coming up the hill together on the same bike, and since riding double is against the rules, I blew my whistle, and I was going to give them demerits, but…”
The memory is still vivid in Sho’s mind. Nino and Ohno waving jauntily as they whizzed by, and ringing the bell as they went. They had even remembered to wear helmets. Matching helmets.
“But what?” Jun asks impatiently.
Sho shakes himself again. “Well, it was a tandem.”
Jun raises an eyebrow. “Pardon?”
“A tandem bicycle. The kind with two seats.”
Aiba and Jun exchange a glance. And then, with a triumphant grin, Aiba says: “That so counts!”
Jun scowls and starts to dig around in his pocket. A moment later he produces a thousand yen note and puts it in Aiba’s now outstretched hand.
“Jun!” Sho exclaims, scandalized. “You are the vice-principal! You can’t gamble!”
“Oh, chill out, Sho-chan,” Jun scoffs, making his way back to his desk at the head of the room. “Making bets with Aiba is not really gambling.”
Sho swings his gaze over to Aiba. “You bet him that Nino and Ohno would get a tandem?”
“No, I just bet they’d start riding in on the same bike. Totally counts,” he reiterates, tucking the bill into his shirt pocket.
“You’re setting a terrible example,” Sho mutters, but Jun waves a dismissive hand.
“There aren’t even any students around to see it,” he says, and as if on cue, the door to the teacher’s room is suddenly full of a giggling bunch of senior girls.
“Good morning,” they sing out in unison, and then a ring-leader steps forward. “Are Ohno-sensei and Ninomiya-sensei here?”
“No, they’re not in yet,” Aiba answers brightly. “Did you need something?”
“Oh, well,” the girl stammers, blushing, jostled from behind by her friends, “we just-we saw them on that bicycle this morning, and it was really cu-cool, so-”
“Why thank you, Aki-chan!” Nino’s voice comes suddenly from the hallway behind the girls, who part, giggling some more, as Nino and Ohno enter, hand in hand.
“It is pretty cool, isn’t it?” Nino continues. “Why don’t you all come and try it out after school?”
“But we want to see Ninomiya-sensei and Ohno-sensei riding it together!” one of the students blurts out, in a burst of enthusiasm.
“Well, we can probably arrange that, too,” Nino says with a wink. A few of the girls let out little squeals. “But, off to class with you! Homeroom starts in five minutes!”
With a chorus of “yes, sensei!” the girls dash off. Nino watches them go with a satisfied smirk, then proceeds to drag Ohno off towards their desks.
“Satoshi-kun!” Sho calls after him, a little desperately. “Why do you keep letting Nino talk you into these things?”
“Hey!” Nino protests. “Why do you immediately assume this was my idea?”
“It seemed like it would be fun,” Ohno answers with a shrug. “It was fun.” And when he turns to Nino with a beatific smile, the younger man beams and leans in to rub their noses together in a sickeningly sweet Eskimo kiss. There are several appreciative sighs from around the room.
“Ahem,” Jun clears his throat loudly. Nino scowls and mouths something at Ohno that looks suspiciously like “later”.
Sho rises, fully intending to give Nino a lecture on appropriate in-school behavior, but just then the bell rings again, and everyone starts making their way to homeroom. Fukiishi-sensei, the female phys ed. teacher waves at Sho from the door to hurry up. He grabs his clipboard and jogs across the room, glancing back one more time before leaving.
Nino and Ohno are, naturally, lagging behind, although it seems to be for the legitimate reason that Ohno can’t find something in his wreck of a desk. After another moment of searching, he comes back up empty handed and disappointed, until Nino reaches out to pull something out of Ohno’s front pocket-a little paintbrush, apparently the very one Ohno was looking for, judging by the way his face lights up. Nino just shakes his head and, seeing that there’s no one else around except Sho-who he winks at-he leans in to kiss Ohno soundly on the cheek.
Sho rolls his eyes, but finds himself smiling. As he makes his way down the hall to his own homeroom, he thinks, It’s going to be a long week.
Author's Note: har har, sho the gym teacher, OH THE IRONY. or something. ehn, no time for real author's noting, have to run to class!