Comments | hardtime100: HT100 Flash Fiction Challenge #1

pirl in hardtime100

HT100 Flash Fiction Challenge #1 - Forgiveness

Jan 20, 2004 22:43

I had much smuttier ideas for maverick4oz's birthday tribute here, but this is what happened instead. I have no idea where this sentimental stuff came from, but I offer it in response to the Flash challenge.It happened so fast and yet time seemed to stand still as he stood there, staring at Toby from across their pod, endless scenarios and arguments raging ( Read more... )

flashfic ch 001 forgiveness, w: pirl

Comments 6

alinewrites January 21 2004, 10:54:46 UTC

Sentimental stuff? I don't think it's *only* sentimental, it's also clever and very well pictured, Chris is perfect here. I love it, really.

pirl January 22 2004, 16:06:54 UTC

Thanks! I guess I've been reading too much angst lately. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it makes reading/writing anything were people aren't tortured and/or maimed look like sap to me. *g*

maverick4oz January 21 2004, 18:33:30 UTC

Heavy hands drunk with blood and numbed with disbelief pushed him slightly back from Toby. He stared intently into a shadowed blue gaze not much unlike his own, searching for something he needed to see for himself. He had heard the words, but he knew better than most that mouths can lie. And when he finally saw it, when he saw forgiveness in Toby's eyes, the last veil of doubt was shed from him. Everything he had done, every wrong step, every ruin of a soul he had made in his life felt forgiven in those eyes.

*GUH* That's just about as perfect a description of that scene as I've ever read. Just beautiful writing, Pirly-q. Thank you so much. I love it and *you*. And don't worry, I'll be nudging you about the smutty entry at some point. Hee-hee.

pirl January 22 2004, 16:08:15 UTC

::blush::

Thanks hun. All for you! ;-)

And don't worry, I'll be nudging you about the smutty entry at some point.

Heh. As if I ever had a chance... *g*

Oh Lordy! as_im_babbar January 22 2004, 17:41:01 UTC

This is perfection

"under heavy folds of self-loathing and roiling cavities of compulsion and malevolence,"

it made me pause and think and be sad and repulsed. It seems so true. I felt it was something instinctual that came from you, rather than something planned. Brilliant.

Thank you.

P.S. Bring on the smut. Bring back Teddy.

Re: Oh Lordy! pirl January 23 2004, 15:31:20 UTC

it made me pause and think and be sad and repulsed. It seems so true. I felt it was something instinctual that came from you, rather than something planned. Brilliant.

::shuffles feet:: Aww shucks... thanks! It sorta wasn't planned actually. I had something else in mind to write and, well, voila. Sometimes those boys hijack my brain and take me down strange and different roads. *g*

P.S. Bring on the smut. Bring back Teddy.

Heehee! You've got to choose, cuz one doesn't come with the other for a while... sorry. ;-)