HT100 Challenge #9--Work Out: Rhythm Method

[maverick4oz]

The hiss of intake, the whoosh of release. A flurry of shallow breaths. Push up. Pull back. It’s that fluid staccato rhythm you notice. Keller pumps iron just like he pumps you. A slow tease to start, the burn and stretch of muscle, a promise yet to come. Then smooth glides and short jabs, a dance distinctly his

Comments

[snarkhunt]

Well, I'll never look at weight-lifting the same way again! ...a dance distinctly his and the last line - really wonderful and erotic, Mav.

[maverick4oz]

Thanks Eliza. Just the thought of the two of them in the gym makes me rather hot. Glad it came across.

[actizera]

*Whoa*! Lifting weights is hot! *g* I love the way you alternate between description and straightforward statements that grab your attention, like "Keller pumps iron just like he pumps you" and "He’s fucking you in his head."

Jeez, Mav, how many mornings this week have you gotten me all turned on now? ; )

[maverick4oz]

I love the way you alternate between description and straightforward statements that grab your attention, like "Keller pumps iron just like he pumps you"

Thanks. Not my normal tense to write in because I find it difficult to maintain but it worked in this because it's short. And you do know it was you who inspired me to try my hand at second person. I never would have tried it if not for Pattern Recognition.

Jeez, Mav, how many mornings this week have you gotten me all turned on now?

Are we keeping track now cause I think you're still way ahead in the turning someone on in the morning contest. LOL

Thanks A. Glad I could turn you on. LOL

[frooshoo]

>>Keller pumps iron just like he pumps you. A slow tease to start, the burn and stretch of muscle, a promise yet to come. Then smooth glides and short jabs<<

HELLO!!!

I'm lovin' that description of Chris' technique...hot and slow...Toby is one lucky bastard!!

[maverick4oz]

Thanks Danielle. Yes, Toby is a lucky bastard. And Chris benefits from Toby's attributes as well. I just wish they would have played more like this instead of you know, stabbing/fighting with each other.

[alinewrites]

I've got nothing to add! Everybody wrote the right things already! It's really great! So hot and teasing... mmmmm! Yummy!

[maverick4oz]

Thanks Aline. The two of them in a gym is inspirational.

[serialkeller]

Everything about this, Mav, from the title to the last line is perfection. I am in constant awe of people who can write something so hot, so sexy that the heat it gives off is almost tangible. This story has those elements in spades. If i had to pick a favourite line?

Keller pumps iron just like he pumps you

Gave me a little shiver, yo. But the last three lines? I actually found myself releasing a breath there as though i'd been through my own workout. And i think i'll stop there before this gets any more revealing *g*

This challenge has certainly raised the bar for someone who's not so good with the hot description (*cough* me *cough*)

[maverick4oz]

WOW!! Thank you trasker. I have to admit this is my favorite drabble I've written so far. I, like so many other writers, normally don't like what I've written, but this one I love.

I'm glad you liked it to.

And my dear, there is nothing wrong with the way you write.