Fic (Wrong Person to Hack: Epilogue)
Title: Wrong Person to Hack
Rating: T
Previous part: Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summery: John meets an Autobot he could grow to like.
:::Epilogue:::
John circled the black and red Hummer with a frown on his face. "So. Hammertread."
It made him pause when the Hummer transformed from vehicle to twenty-nine foot tall robot. He'd only seen that happen once before and it was still shocking. "Yes. You're Detective McClane."
"... Yeah." John drew the word out, stepping back as Hammertread dropped down, supporting himself with one fist. "You're an Autobot?"
"Came ta Earth five lunar cycles ago."
"Those are called months." Matt bounced over to them, stopping just at the metal plating on Hammertread's arm. "Can I touch you?"
"Sure." Hammertread smiled, probably going for a reassuring look, however it only ended up intimidating. "Y'all can call me 'Tread."
"Cool!" Matt reached out, planting both hands on the arm in front of him, "Call me Matt. He's John." With the enthusiasm of a child, Matt looked up, "Can I climb you?"
"'Long as you don't disturb my guns, go'on ahead." John perked up. 'Tread had guns? As in, plural?
"How many guns do you have?" He watched Matt swing up, moving fast, investigating everything he could get to. He was curious as to whether or not 'Tread was really as badass as Lennox made him out to be. There had been an interesting email waiting for him when he'd woken up again, telling him that 'Tread had apparently decided to adopt him because he managed to kill Barricade. And for a 'fleshy human', that was pretty impressive.
"Haven't counted in years." 'Tread lifted a hand to steady Matt and sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Been addin' a few new ones since comin' ta Earth... Ya got some damn good ideas on how to kill a 'Con... Figured I'd load up on what y'all had to offer."
"Oh?" And then there was a cannon in his face. Thankfully, not warming up.
"Got me some Sabo rounds just for fun two weeks ago." 'Tread shook his head, "Ratch don't like messing around with my protoplasm much, so I gotta ration it out."
"Huh?"
Matt swung around 'Tread's shoulder and waved to him, "It's like surgery! Ratchet's the medic, remember?"
"Oh." Right. Sure. Sabo rounds."Anything else?"
"Got me a couple o' guns," 'Tread picked seven of them out of his person and laid them gently on the ground, "A cannon or two," All three cannons joined the pile, "I managed to get me a fission powered bomb to replace my old one, the one I used... Y'all call it a nuke." John's eyes widened considerably. "I got me a sword or two," Eight various lengths of bladed weapons were shown off and then set aside, "I got some chain," John shook his head, eyeballs almost popping out of his head at the fifty-five feet of high grade chain, "An' I got this here from an old friend..." From his back, 'Tread pulled a halberd axe that was three or four times the size of John, "An' Optimus got me this little bitty thing here," One of 'Tread's hand rolled out of the way and John was not at all surprised when he saw the makings of a flame thrower.
"Holy. Shit." He could grow to like this guy. "So, the Hummer that you picked as your vehicle form, how tough is it?"
"Damn thick hide, that's what I got." 'Tread snorted, catching Matt and placing him back on the ground, making sure that John was between Matt and the weapons. "That old Sabo stuff? It'll hurt like a sum-a-bitch, but it won't do no serious damage. I'm tougher then Blackout's little pawn."
John just blinked. "That's everything?" His voice was just a little faint. He now had a vehicle that was better armed then most military units.
"I'm a little old and a little battered, but I still kick some damn good ass." 'Tread smirked and John smiled.
"Yep." As 'Tread put his weapons back, John pulled Matt to the side, whispering fast, "Matt, what else did Lennox say about 'Tread, cause... I might be a little worried."
"Well... He said 'Tread was damaged a while ago. He didn't specify how or while exactly, but given that nothing on Earth could damage Hammertread? I'd say it was a long time ago and 'Tread's learned to deal with whatever it was."
"All right. Okay. Well. I don't think we have anything to worry about from any other Decepticon's for a while, not with him with us."
Hammertread leaned over to them, blocking the sun out and cocked his head to the side, "No slagging 'Con is gonna wanna mess with me. I once put Megatron in his place, before Optimus let the Allspark leave Cybertron. Y'all are safe with me."
Matt stared at him in awe, "You put down Megatron?"
"I got hurt pretty bad in that fight, but yep. I put him down." Hammertread shrugged his huge shoulders, the cables and gears shifting loudly, "Don't think I ever got better from that. Some things, they're kinda fuzzy now. You could ask Ratch. He'd know."
"But you're still capable of fighting." John did not want his walking armory to shut down on him when he needed the Autobot.
"Yeah, I can still fight. Y'all don't have nothing to worry 'bout. I'm just a little slow at times." John quirked an eyebrow and Hammertread shrugged again, "I don't make decisions no more. I don't... get the information that I need. I just follow. You give me an order, and lemme tell you, I will see it through."
John suddenly got it. The old Autobot had the robot's version of mild brain-damage, impairing his ability to process complex information correctly. Which, if he was still loyal, made him an excellent soldier, as he never questioned orders. "Well 'Tread, you stick with me and we'll be just fine."
Hammertread smiled again, shifted back to his vehicle form and opened the driver and front passenger doors, "Let's get goin' then. I wanna see my new home."
While climbing up into the drivers seat, John frantically tried to recall if he had space in his garage for the Hummer; one that had a fourteen inch lift and forty-four inch tires...
"You mind sitting in the driveway? I don't think you'll fit in the garage."
"I'll be just fine, 'long as I got you two on my sensors at night."
Watching the scenery go by, absently wondering if he should grab the wheel, if just for appearances sakes, John nodded. "Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful relationship."
Matt just laughed.
:::Finis:::
Posted for floofwolfe, since I was asked for nicely!
Rating: T
Previous part: Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summery: John meets an Autobot he could grow to like.
:::Epilogue:::
John circled the black and red Hummer with a frown on his face. "So. Hammertread."
It made him pause when the Hummer transformed from vehicle to twenty-nine foot tall robot. He'd only seen that happen once before and it was still shocking. "Yes. You're Detective McClane."
"... Yeah." John drew the word out, stepping back as Hammertread dropped down, supporting himself with one fist. "You're an Autobot?"
"Came ta Earth five lunar cycles ago."
"Those are called months." Matt bounced over to them, stopping just at the metal plating on Hammertread's arm. "Can I touch you?"
"Sure." Hammertread smiled, probably going for a reassuring look, however it only ended up intimidating. "Y'all can call me 'Tread."
"Cool!" Matt reached out, planting both hands on the arm in front of him, "Call me Matt. He's John." With the enthusiasm of a child, Matt looked up, "Can I climb you?"
"'Long as you don't disturb my guns, go'on ahead." John perked up. 'Tread had guns? As in, plural?
"How many guns do you have?" He watched Matt swing up, moving fast, investigating everything he could get to. He was curious as to whether or not 'Tread was really as badass as Lennox made him out to be. There had been an interesting email waiting for him when he'd woken up again, telling him that 'Tread had apparently decided to adopt him because he managed to kill Barricade. And for a 'fleshy human', that was pretty impressive.
"Haven't counted in years." 'Tread lifted a hand to steady Matt and sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Been addin' a few new ones since comin' ta Earth... Ya got some damn good ideas on how to kill a 'Con... Figured I'd load up on what y'all had to offer."
"Oh?" And then there was a cannon in his face. Thankfully, not warming up.
"Got me some Sabo rounds just for fun two weeks ago." 'Tread shook his head, "Ratch don't like messing around with my protoplasm much, so I gotta ration it out."
"Huh?"
Matt swung around 'Tread's shoulder and waved to him, "It's like surgery! Ratchet's the medic, remember?"
"Oh." Right. Sure. Sabo rounds."Anything else?"
"Got me a couple o' guns," 'Tread picked seven of them out of his person and laid them gently on the ground, "A cannon or two," All three cannons joined the pile, "I managed to get me a fission powered bomb to replace my old one, the one I used... Y'all call it a nuke." John's eyes widened considerably. "I got me a sword or two," Eight various lengths of bladed weapons were shown off and then set aside, "I got some chain," John shook his head, eyeballs almost popping out of his head at the fifty-five feet of high grade chain, "An' I got this here from an old friend..." From his back, 'Tread pulled a halberd axe that was three or four times the size of John, "An' Optimus got me this little bitty thing here," One of 'Tread's hand rolled out of the way and John was not at all surprised when he saw the makings of a flame thrower.
"Holy. Shit." He could grow to like this guy. "So, the Hummer that you picked as your vehicle form, how tough is it?"
"Damn thick hide, that's what I got." 'Tread snorted, catching Matt and placing him back on the ground, making sure that John was between Matt and the weapons. "That old Sabo stuff? It'll hurt like a sum-a-bitch, but it won't do no serious damage. I'm tougher then Blackout's little pawn."
John just blinked. "That's everything?" His voice was just a little faint. He now had a vehicle that was better armed then most military units.
"I'm a little old and a little battered, but I still kick some damn good ass." 'Tread smirked and John smiled.
"Yep." As 'Tread put his weapons back, John pulled Matt to the side, whispering fast, "Matt, what else did Lennox say about 'Tread, cause... I might be a little worried."
"Well... He said 'Tread was damaged a while ago. He didn't specify how or while exactly, but given that nothing on Earth could damage Hammertread? I'd say it was a long time ago and 'Tread's learned to deal with whatever it was."
"All right. Okay. Well. I don't think we have anything to worry about from any other Decepticon's for a while, not with him with us."
Hammertread leaned over to them, blocking the sun out and cocked his head to the side, "No slagging 'Con is gonna wanna mess with me. I once put Megatron in his place, before Optimus let the Allspark leave Cybertron. Y'all are safe with me."
Matt stared at him in awe, "You put down Megatron?"
"I got hurt pretty bad in that fight, but yep. I put him down." Hammertread shrugged his huge shoulders, the cables and gears shifting loudly, "Don't think I ever got better from that. Some things, they're kinda fuzzy now. You could ask Ratch. He'd know."
"But you're still capable of fighting." John did not want his walking armory to shut down on him when he needed the Autobot.
"Yeah, I can still fight. Y'all don't have nothing to worry 'bout. I'm just a little slow at times." John quirked an eyebrow and Hammertread shrugged again, "I don't make decisions no more. I don't... get the information that I need. I just follow. You give me an order, and lemme tell you, I will see it through."
John suddenly got it. The old Autobot had the robot's version of mild brain-damage, impairing his ability to process complex information correctly. Which, if he was still loyal, made him an excellent soldier, as he never questioned orders. "Well 'Tread, you stick with me and we'll be just fine."
Hammertread smiled again, shifted back to his vehicle form and opened the driver and front passenger doors, "Let's get goin' then. I wanna see my new home."
While climbing up into the drivers seat, John frantically tried to recall if he had space in his garage for the Hummer; one that had a fourteen inch lift and forty-four inch tires...
"You mind sitting in the driveway? I don't think you'll fit in the garage."
"I'll be just fine, 'long as I got you two on my sensors at night."
Watching the scenery go by, absently wondering if he should grab the wheel, if just for appearances sakes, John nodded. "Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful relationship."
Matt just laughed.
:::Finis:::
Posted for floofwolfe, since I was asked for nicely!