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Oct 08, 2007 21:01

I'm losing weight and that's final. I mean, I don't hate myself or anything but, seriously, it's high time ( Read more... )

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hannu_bananu October 9 2007, 05:39:37 UTC
Yeah I'm right there with yah; commuting makes it kinda hard.

Iono but I'm glad I'm not the only one. Ahahah. :( Thanks Hoshi :)

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patthew October 9 2007, 06:54:10 UTC
That's it right there, you meet exactly zero people when you commute to school. You don't have a room mate, you don't have nightly beer pong tourneys, you can't run around naked, etc. I also think I forgot how to meet people.

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hannu_bananu October 9 2007, 23:07:32 UTC
Aahahah I'm not sure you even knew how to meet people. Lol. :P

So maybe it's fate then. Or we could hang out Paterick :O! We could go on our own beer pong tourney and run around naked! Or sit around and play games or some nerdy shit like that. Hey, at least I'm not Tucker ahahahahahahah.

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bleedingpoetry October 9 2007, 05:25:53 UTC
i love you hannah <3
imagine one of my tight almost choking u hugs k

it really saddens me to read this :[
this might sound annoying but have you tried getting involved in stuff? like maybe an art club or go to performances and things? those sometimes help...

what about actually dorming next semester or something? or is that just not an option?

and i know its what everyone says, but finding friends takes time. nick is right in saying that ppl just seem like theyre really close for the sake of looking like they have friends. all the seniors i meet tell me that people go thru friends like laundry their first years because u dont really find someone u connect with till much later so i think you're gonna be okay. just keep having good grades & making awesome art & being your amazing loud humorous self and you will find friends. and know that im always here for ya and i love you :]

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hannu_bananu October 9 2007, 05:48:29 UTC
Everyone says to join clubs and blahblahbalh but commuting makes it too difficult. I have to go down on my day off just to make an effort. No. Fuck that. I don't care how many friends I make it's not convenient. So yeah, it's partly my fault but I never said it wasn't.

If I lived on campus it would be SO much easier to get involved. But driving 20 minutes for an hour club meeting isn't really worth it.

Dorming I guess is an option but I'd be too hard for me to put more financial burden on my parents and i can't pay for it myself. So really, it isn't an option.

Iono maybe it's not the making the friends that I'm missing but the old, tight relationships I had with people at Troy. I miss the closeness. Part of it is I just don't fit into the crowd. I'm like outcast/weirdo status now. It just makes me think I didn't make the right choice...

I know I'll make friends I guess. I mean, yeah I WILL... but just I absolutely hate the people that surround me. Why would I do that to myself?

Iono I'm kinda at a crossroad.

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bleedingpoetry October 9 2007, 06:13:14 UTC
hmm. well college is an experience and if you really feel like your parents cant pay, then dont make em.

and yeah, i think everyone misses those relationships though, not just you hannah. i miss them. its not the same here at all. people are just so different.

and i know that at first you dont like them but u gotta just really clear and open your mind you know? u gotta suck it up and just talk to people because in a lot of cases first impressions are usually wrong. and you dont have to like everybody, thats impossible. just try to weed out some that you can at least bear and start talkin to em :]

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bleedingpoetry October 9 2007, 05:27:06 UTC
oh and you are BEAUTIFUL. dont care about those stupid superficial skinny bitches who cant ever have the pleasure of enjoying ice cream. dont lose weight because u care what others think. you need only to care what YOU think

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coeur_de_la_mer October 9 2007, 05:30:27 UTC
Thanks for sharing this, Hannah. It rang really true for me. A lot of the time I feel like all I do here is go to class and study (in fact right now I am avoiding mountains of work for tomorrow); on the weekends I hang out with the like four friends I have (but they are quality friends, so not really complaining there) but I definitely wonder if I would have been happier somewhere else. (If you think OC is bad with the shallow people, try LA! Oh dear god ( ... )

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hannu_bananu October 9 2007, 05:55:00 UTC
Like I was saying to Lili, it's really hard for commuters to join clubs just cause of the timing. Like, I'd have to come on my fridays off or like stick around for 5 hours on my tues/thurs. It's just not worth it. I guess I'd rather be lazing around at home

So part of it is my fault. I guess.

Iono, it's not even really me that is longing to be with people. I mean yeah I miss my old friends with everything I've got, but I don't really long for new people.

I hate to point to my mother, but she just comments on how I never do things with other friends. It makes me self conscious. Just like how she calls me over weight. Iono I can't blame her for everything cause I'm the one that takes it to heart.

But I'm chugging along. Thanks Meghawn. I'd love to come visit you sometime :O heheh.

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agentkang October 9 2007, 22:32:40 UTC
COME TO UCSB. NOW. We're looking for a fourth girl to rent out an apartment with us next year and it should most definitely be you. DEFINITELY.

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hannu_bananu October 9 2007, 23:08:47 UTC
There are too many bitches there :( AND THEY SAY HELLA. I WOULD KILL ALL OF THEM. >:U!

I'm not good at partying anyway.

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