TITLE: "Texts From This Morning"
SUMMARY: A series of texts between Eliot and the team the morning after "The Carnival Job"
RATING: PG-13 (for language)
SPOILERS: One very mild spoiler for "The Carnival Job"
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for
comment-fic. The theme was messages and
lmx_v3point3 prompted Eliot + team, "I'm not coming in today, so don't even try it." Special thanks to
seraphina_snape for making the wonderful banner!
9:08 AM, the morning after the carnival job ...
Nate Ford: New client. Briefing at noon.
Eliot Spencer: Not comin in to work, boss. In case you forgot, I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CARNIVAL RIDE.
Nate Ford: You want to be here for this one. Trust me.
Eliot Spencer: I have a CONCUSSION. I’m not coming in today, so don’t even try it.
Nate Ford: You’ll be here.
Eliot Spencer: Not happening.
Nate Ford: Want to bet on it?
Eliot Spencer: Screw you. I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CARNIVAL RIDE.
Nate Ford: Fifty bucks says you’re here at noon.
Eliot Spencer: Leave me alone. I’m goin back to bed.
Alec Hardison: Can u pick up sum gummi frogs b4 the mtg? Nate’s all out.
Eliot Spencer: Not comin. Get your own damn gummi frogs.
Alec Hardison: Y not???
Eliot Spencer: Because I got hit in the face with a carnival ride yesterday!
Alec Hardison: Nate sez ur coming.
Eliot Spencer: Fuck Nate.
Alec Hardison: But we gotta nu client ...
Eliot Spencer: NO.
Alec Hardison: ... & she’s a total HOTTIE!!!
Eliot Spencer: NO.
Eliot Spencer: How hot?
Eliot Spencer: Nevermind.
Alec Hardison: Like a Vegas sidewalk in August.
Eliot Spencer: Still no.
Alec Hardison: Ur loss, man. I’m just sayin.
Alec Hardison: Srsly damn HOT!
Parker: nate says your a wuss
Eliot Spencer: Whatever.
Parker: so does hardison
Eliot Spencer: Tell him I’m gonna tickle his ass when I’m healed.
Parker: um ... ok?
Eliot Spencer: KICK his ass! Damn autocorrect! I’m gonna kick his ass!
Parker: oh yeah that makes more sense
Parker: i don’t think your a wuss btw
Eliot Spencer: Thank you!
Parker: i think your lazy
Eliot Spencer: I’M NOT LAZY!!
Parker: then why arent you coming in?
Eliot Spencer: Does nobody remember yesterday? I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CARNIVAL RIDE!!!
Parker: wuss
Parker: bring cereal when you come ok?
Parker: ok?
Parker: eliot?
Sophie Devereaux: Nate said you’re not coming to the briefing?
Eliot Spencer: Don’t start with me.
Sophie Devereaux: I just wanted to make sure you’re all right. How are you feeling?
Eliot Spencer: Like I got hit in the face with a carnival ride.
Sophie Devereaux: Poor thing. You should rest.
Eliot Spencer: Thank you!
Sophie Devereaux: There’s no need for you to trouble yourself.
Eliot Spencer: I wasn’t goin to.
Sophie Devereaux: I’m sure we can handle this one without you.
Eliot Spencer: Good.
Sophie Devereaux: I honestly wonder why we waste your time bringing you in on half the jobs we do. It’s not like you’re really an essential part of the team. Not like the rest of us.
Eliot Spencer: I know what you’re doing and its not gonna work.
Sophie Devereaux: It’s only a Mexican drug cartel we’re going up against on this job after all. It’s not like there’s a chance Nate will lose his head and put us all in grave danger.
Eliot Spencer: Stop it.
Sophie Devereaux: And there’s certainly no possibility Hardison will get cocky or Parker will go rogue without you there to keep them in line.
Eliot Spencer: Shut up. I mean it.
Sophie Devereaux: And I can obviously take out any cartel hitmen we might stumble across all on my own. So you just go and have a nice lie down and don’t trouble yourself about us. We’ll all be fine without you.
Eliot Spencer: I hate you.
Sophie Devereaux: See you at noon then?
Eliot Spencer: Yes dammit.
Sophie Devereaux: Nate says not to forget his $50.
Sophie Devereaux: And Parker’s cereal.
Sophie Devereaux: Oh, and Hardison’s gummi frogs.
Eliot Spencer: I hate you all.
Sophie Devereaux: <3 <3 <3