[Takki & Tsubasa] Falling Into Deeper Silence
Chapter 4
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“How are you so sure that they will talk? Even if you place them in an empty room, they will still stay in silence! How stupid can your plan be, Yamapi?” Kame complained in total dissatisfaction as he quickened his pace in anger.
“Kazuya! Wait! Don’t walk so fast!” running to the younger boy, amazed at how fast he could walk, leaving him far behind.
“You’re the one walking too slow, Yamapi.” Kame mocked, slowing down his pace so that Yamapi could catch up with him.
“Don’t be angry. I just didn’t think of that. I thought having them alone together will bring about a conversation! I seriously didn’t think the otherwise. Don’t be mad! Kazuya!!” he pleaded as he naturally placed his arms around Kame’s shoulders, pouting like a fool.
“Oiii Yamapi, what are you doing holding my boyfriend like that?” a voice suddenly spoke out of nowhere, making them jumped in surprise.
They both turned to see Jin in his car, greeting them with a cheeky smile as he waved at them childishly. Without needing an invitation, Kame immediately entered his lover’s car, crossing his arms once he had settled himself, frowning. Yamapi followed suit soon after, sitting in the back seat of the car, sighing in defeat.
“Don’t worry. We’ll think of something else to reunite Takizawa-kun and Tsubasa-kun together. I know that deep down they need each other to survive.” Jin said, understanding the situation they’re in now without even being told.
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“Tsubasa.”
He looked up to see Takki approaching him, calling out his name so sweetly that he thought that it was only his imagination. Why would he suddenly be nice to me? For the first time, he had actually said a word to me. That is weird. He won’t talk to me unless it’s about work. But I’m not working right now, it’s my break time and I shouldn’t be disturbed.
“Tsubasa”
He heard his name being called up yet once again but he turned into deaf ears, continuing to read the magazine on his hand. Tsubasa pretended not to hear the call and hoped that being ignorant will lead that person to just give up trying.
But Tsubasa felt something warm touching his shoulders, leaving him with no choice but to face his pursuer, “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m reading here? Well unless you’re too blind to notice that.” He replied in such a harsh tone, a tone he rarely used on anyone especially to Takki.
“I... I’m sorry to disturb you. But...” Takki was so shocked that Tsubasa had spoken so harshly to him, he just couldn’t find the right words to say. The man in front of him is not Tsubasa for he sure knows Tsubasa does not behave like that.
“What? Just back off, will you? Give me some space.” Tsubasa simply said, his words spoken in true anger as he glanced back to the magazine, continuing whatever he had been doing before Takki had barged into his dressing room.
“Tsubasa, you’ve changed.” Takki regretted the moment that was being spoken as he saw sparks of anger in his partner’s eyes, a flame of red glowing brightly around the man in front of him.
Tsubasa threw the magazine abruptly on the floor, clasping his fists tightly, glaring at his opponent in amazingly warmth of anger, his look that of hatred.
Without giving even a chance for Takki to react, Tsubasa pinned him hardly to the wall, his right arms hold on tightly to his chest leaving Takki no absolute chance to escape. That was totally unexpected as it was usually Takki that’s the strongest in their unit.
“Tsubasa…”
His eyes filled with anger, “Shut up! I’ll tell you who was the one that had changed! The one who didn’t even bother picking up my calls or replying to my messages, the one who started avoiding me for no reason. If you don’t want to be friends with me, why don’t you just say that to my face?!! I don’t want to be waiting for a friend who obviously no longer cares! Now tell me why you’re avoiding me these past few months? What is so secretive about it that you have to hide it from me? Damn it, I hate all the silence going on! Just tell me, will you?!!” He shouted at the top of his lungs, closing the slight gap that separates them making the younger man felt uncomfortable.
“Tsubasa. You know what? All that you’ve said is true! You’re the one that’s stupid enough to wait for a friend that no longer exists! All my hints are so easy to understand! I don’t need a friend like you! God, I don’t need you anymore! Can’t you get out of my life?!! Now let go of me!” Takki screamed but not that loud enough for others outside this room to hear, he didn’t want any rumors to spread out.
With those words, Tsubasa immediately released his captor, he was stunned for a second, his knees was going to give in any sooner but he took all the strength he had to push all the hurt away. He had promised himself not to break down in front of Takki.
“I’ll grant your wish if that is what you truly want.” Tsubasa looked away, his heart felt so much hurt, bleeding continuously at this point of time. He had to get out of here, he can’t face anyone right now.
“I’m sorry.” Tsubasa said softly as he walked out of the room, not even once did he try to glance back as it was just a useless action. His best friend was gone, Takizawa Hideaki is just another plain colleague of his that had once been his true friend.
Tsubasa’s footsteps could no longer be heard acknowledging that he is far away from here. Takki knew he wouldn’t return after what had just happened between them. That is Tsubasa.
Dropping to the ground in a rather fast motion, he stared into the thin air, feeling so helpless at the situation he currently was, whispering ever so softly to himself, “Why? Why does this have to happen? Why?!! You’re such an ungrateful brat, Takizawa! I’m so selfish. Tsubasa, I’m sorry.”
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Somewhere in the building, another soul was aching with pain, finally showing his true emotions in that quiet and dark corner. Clutching his chest, Tsubasa gripped tightly to his shirt, suddenly suffocating out of air.
He couldn’t breathe, his vision became blur as time passes. He didn’t even have the strength to shout for any help as he felt his knees weaken. He remembered falling to the floor before everything turned into total darkness.
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“Kame, where do you think you’re going?” Jin asked as he followed him entering the familiar building, trying to be at the same pace as his, grabbing the younger man’s arms in frustration when the latter keep on walking without replying.
“Kazu-chan, I’m talking to you.”
“I’m looking for Tsubasa-kun. He didn’t reply to my calls last night. Something must have happened after the incident at the café.”
“Well you don’t know for sure what really happened. Don’t be so worried. Come on, let’s go. You wouldn’t want to disturb Tsubasa-kun when he is still working.”
“Jin! If you don’t want to accompany me to look for Tsubasa-kun, that is fine! But I have to look for him!” Kame stormed angrily as he quickens his pace, leaving Jin behind all alone.
Sighing softly, he didn’t have any other choice but to follow Kame as well. Kame could be pretty stubborn sometimes but he knew that Kame is just worried about Tsubasa-kun since they're both are close.
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“Ahhh!” Jin’s scream was so loud that caught his lover’s attention, coming closer to him with a slightly irritated expression clearly written on his face.
“What is it this time, Jin?”
Pointing to the direction, he gripped on Kame’s arms fearfully, “What… What is that? That is someone’s legs! Ahh, Kame!”
That figure seems so familiar, without wasting any moment, Kame moved forward to take a closer look at this dark corner. He was shocked when he realized who the figure was, shouting slightly, “Tsubasa-kun!”
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“Yes, Yamapi?” Takki spoke through his phone, wondering what he wants this time for he didn’t feel like talking right now, not especially after the incident with Tsubasa.
“Takizawa-kun. Ne, What did you do?”
“What did I do? What do you mean by that? Look I really don’t have the mood now so please call again later?” he said, a frown began to form on his face, he didn’t have time for any calls like this.
“Don’t hang up! Tsubasa-kun is in the hospital right now! What did you do?!!” The other man from the other line suddenly raised his voice.
“What? Tsubasa… hospital?” Takki stuttered, his mind still trying to register the shocking news.
“He fainted. Jin and Kame found him lying unconscious somewhere near his dressing room. If you want to know more about his condition, I think you should just head to the hospital and see for yourself.”
“Yama… pi...” Takki could only stare at his cell phone in worry as his junior hanged up on him, not giving him any chance to satisfy his queries.
“Tsubasa, what exactly happened to you? I don’t want you to be hurt because of me.” He thought silently and without wasting any moment, he grabbed his backpack, running out of the dark room hastily.
Tsubasa!!
Takki didn’t care about anything else right at this moment, for once he is not afraid he’d ever slipped on the secret. All that matters now is Tsubasa. He needs to see him immediately and make sure that he is alright.
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“Do you think Takizawa-kun will come?” Kame asked, his eyes hoping for a rather positive answer for Tsubasa needs him more than anyone else right now.
“Well, I’m sure that...” He couldn’t complete his sentence when a figure suddenly strode in, slightly panting and looking so flushed from all the running.
“Takizawa-kun.” Kame whispered silently as he looked at his senior with gratitude, glad that his prayers were granted.
“What? What happened to Tsubasa? What caused him to faint? Why are you guys keeping silent? Tell me!” Takki lunged himself to Kame, shaking the poor man roughly, not conscious of his action as he was preoccupied with fear.
“Takizawa-kun. Try to relax for a moment. You’re hurting Kame.” Jin said, pulling Kame gently from their senior’s hold.
Takki understood as he backed up a distance but his eyes looking at both of his juniors, eager to hear some answers from them.
“The doctor said that Tsubasa-kun fainted as a result of exhaustion and that he had not been eating properly. His body could not take the pressure anymore so he collapsed.” Kame explained.
“But Tsubasa didn’t look like he’s suffering from any eating disorder. In fact, he looked strong and just the Tsubasa we all know."
“Well that’s because Tsubasa-kun is such a great actor, no award is ever worthy of him. He tried to pretend to be strong for the sake of all of us. You’re his best friend, you should know him better than all of us. Tsubasa-kun is someone that will never show his weakness to others. And right now, he needs you the most. So please, even if you’re going to leave him later, at least show him that you still care.” Kame finally finished what he always wanted to say as he held Jin’s hands, urging the latter to leave their senior alone.
“Tsubasa-kun is inside, he really needs your support. Please. We’ll be going now. See you.” Jin said, leading Kame out of the path way.
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Takki faced the door, his shaky hands slowly turned the knob as his heart beats faster than usual. He entered the dark room, tried to make less noise as possible as he moved closer to the bed where Tsubasa lied. He was shocked to see that Tsubasa’s face looked so pale, his body seemed so thin.
When did this happen? How could I be so oblivious of this? Tsubasa, I’m sorry. I’m the caused of all of this.
Takki sat on the near edge of the bed, his hands found themselves on Tsubasa’s hair, brushing them ever so gently, full with love.
“Do you know that you’re making me guiltier by hurting yourself. I can’t forgive myself if anything happened to you. I’ll blame myself if that ever happens! And to think that I’ve hurt you all these while. Tsubasa, I love you.” He felt something wet on his cheeks, realizing that he had been crying.
Do you know that I’ve longed to say those words to you? I am a man, I couldn’t possibly have feelings for you. That’s so shameful. But seeing you everyday was a torture to me. I don’t want to be your best friend. I wanted more than that. I don’t want you to be frightened of me. I fear that I could no longer keep my hunger of which I would be tempted to jump on you, to touch you lovingly and taste that sexy lips of yours. What will happen then? Will we ever be friends anymore?
I rather have something than nothing at all. By distancing myself from you, I thought I could forget, making my feelings for you vanish. And that we would be best friends again. But I was wrong, Tsubasa. My love for you will never disappear.
“I love you.” He whispered to the unconscious Tsubasa who was on a drip, holding the warm hands.
And because of that, we can never be friends anymore. We can only be colleagues. He immediately released his hold when he noticed Tsubasa suddenly stirred, looking up to him with those sad eyes of his.
“Don’t go.” Tsubasa managed to voice out in his weaken condition, hoping that the latter would listen to his pleas.
But Takki controlled himself from giving in to the request as he immediately got up off the bed, making his way to the exit.
“Takki… Please… Don’t leave… Please…” Tsubasa hastily pulled the tube from his arm painfully as he forced himself to get up even when he barely had any strength left.
“Tsubasa! What did you just do?” Takki lunged himself forward just in time to catch Tsubasa from falling.
“Don’t leave me.” He said, as he fell into an unconscious state.
Tsubasa!! Tsubasa!!
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Author's Note: Sorry everyone but it's another Angst chapter! This chapter made me feel so sad. I could feel Tsuba's pain and that he really needs Takki in his life, without him, he would be incomplete. Sigh, but I can't help but write angst chapters since I love angst so much even though they're heartbreaking. I'm still in the process of writing the next chapter so I don't know exactly what will happen later but I do have some ideas in my mind. But the ideas may change within time. You'll never know. Hoped that you've enjoyed reading this chapter and please leave your comments. Comments = Love. XDD