[FIC] Playing A Role [chapter 1]
Title : Playing A Role [chapter 1]
Author : hanashiaru
Rating : PG
Genre: Romance. Angst-Fluff.
Pairing : YamaJima
Summary : A secret was revealed in.. a happy family.
Warning: Uhm, since I still put Kazu in this ffic so... MPREG =3=a
A/N : Another story of... my ffics which are including Yamada twins and Kazu-chan
Prologue
Life was unfair, but sometimes, life was unwantedly turning fair at the time people didn’t need it.
And a truth couldn’t be hidden forever, Yamada Ryosuke knew about it.
.
.
.
Vomitting for the uncountable times for today, he took a deep breathe.
He was suddenly shuddering for seeing his reflection in the mirror, knowing how horrible his look was. True, he looked like a bear doll-no, a panda? He lost some weight but the lump in his tummy was getting bigger, accompanying his pale face and the black half-circled on his bottom eyes. Horrible, it was really horrible. His condition also wasn’t turned well. His life style was changed a lot and the pain was the worst, he would have thought that this was the worst phase in his life if he didn’t remember the happiness that would be appeared after passing through this pain.
Because a fragile life was inside him.
And he had a feeling that this child would make all things in this household become different, of course in a good way. He loved his baby before meeting it, he knew excatly that he loved his baby. No matter how many the baby would kick him, no matter how many he would be breathless by the naughty movement from it, he knew he loved the baby. It was moving cutely and he often giggled whenever he imagined what was the baby doing inside him, and soon the pain faded away.
Even though tiredness was still becoming an exact feeling for him...
... and it was certainly happening.
He got out of his bathroom after making sure the paleness was dissapeared from his face, only to get a surprise for seeing Yuto’s mother was sitting on the living room. He was about to curve a smile but he realized Yuto’s mother’s faceline was indicating a bad situation.
“Kyosuke.”
“What hapenned?”
Then, a bad news and also a sudden incident that had brought him a traumatic was heard from the lips of Yuto’s mother.
“Your husband, Kyosuke... he had a car accident.. he needs your blood donation now, please, Kyosuke!”
His feet felt weak all the sudden, a dizziness came across his head as he tried hard to stay calm.
“You’re still three months in pregnancy, it still saves for you to give your blood to him.. please..”
***
A car accident was the thing he scared the most.
Six years ago, his twin and him almost died by the car which was driven crazily. Five years ago, he lost his identity and his little brother at the same time because of a car accident. And now, his husband was dying because of a car accident.
He was still in traumatic, yet he couldn’t think straight.
Six years ago, when the twins brother were almost hit by the car, there was Nakajima Yuto who saved both of them. The twins were saved, but not for the other boy. They felt guilty, the boy’s parents blamed them and they could only gasp when they knew that the boy had anemia.
True enough, Nakajima Yuto almost didn’t have any future because of them. But the seventeen years old of Yamada Kyosuke immediately faced the doctor, asking the way to save the poor boy-his boyfriend to be cleared. Blood donation, the doctor answered it. The boy asked to be a volunteer, and it was a coincidence because both of Nakajima Yuto and Yamada Kyosuke had the suitable blood, a rare blood type.
And there, Nakajima Yuto was saved by his beloved boyfriend.
In this time, Nakajima Yuto’s mother asked for him to do a blood donation for the second time. Making him shudder and woken up from the reality, from the role that he was playing on.
Second time? He even never had his first time..
... he still remembered who he was.
The pathetic Yamada Ryosuke who was playing his brother’s role, no more thing.
And the scary words escaped from the doctor lips...
“He has no the same blood type with Nakajima-san, Mrs.”
... please, not now. Not now, he was not ready. His mother was also here and it scared him the most. His dirty secret shouldn’t be revealed now, please not now.
“But he had donated his blood, he has the same blood type with my son!”
“I’m the same doctor, Mrs. And I’ve checked his blood thrice, no suitable. I’m sorry..”
His heart was beating faster, his pale face went paller and the sudden sharp pain fully invaded him, “I’m... sorry.. I need to go to the restroom for.. awhile..”
Two steps away from his ordinate, he suddenly fell down and lost conscious.
.
.
.
.
He didn’t know whether it was a relief when he opened his eyes. But the scenery and a horrible life would strike him, from now on. His feeling said it.
At the moment he saw his mother was sitting beside him, not showing a good condition.
“Mom..”
His mother turned his head, facing him with unknown faceline.
“Mom, how’s Yuto?”
“He’ll be fine, his father who comes back from overseas has the same blood type with him.”
He sighed in relief for once, but he knew the reality in front of him, “Mom, you already know, don’t you?” He said weakly, tremble in the voice as he stared at his mother’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Doctor still stored Nakajima Yuto’s blood donator archieve six years ago. And it’s different from yours. Yes, I already know.” His mother sighed, closing her eyes as if she was hoping the mess in this situation dissapeared. “I’m dissapointed, Ryosuke.”
Ryosuke took a breathe, trying to be stronger for hearing the words.
“I’m not going to scold you because there’s a baby inside you, and I’m not stupid for making my grandchild in dangerous state. Now, keep your health.”
It wasn’t a comfortable sentence for him.
How could his mother say those words with a sharp tone? It was clearly heard that his mother was upset because of him. Sure, he knew that he was wrong. But why did he do all of this? He was just trying to find some happiness, a happiness that deserved and always deserved only for his little brother. And his mother didn’t know about that. Yamada Kyosuke, why did people love you that much? Why there was no a single space for him? Why couldn’t he be loved too? What was the differences between them? He never understood, never even for once.
His tears fell more as he realized for the very first time of his life, he hated for ever having an existance of his little brother in his life.
“Mom, please don’t hate me.”
His mother didn’t answer.
Did it mean... his mother really hated him?
“Mom, please..”
“You drove the car at that night. You.. drove the car.” She said quietly, “Did you know that you were drunk?! His brother picked you up from the bar, did you know how worried he was?! And why did you still insist for driving the car, Ryosuke? Why?”
He couldn’t hold his tears anymore, “I hated him for dragging me out from the bar.. I hated for being seen like he was my saviour if I just stayed silent in my seat only to hear his scold.. so I wanted to drive.”
“I don’t need your reason! You killed him!”
Yes, he killed his brother.
He accidentally killed his brother, that was true.
But Mom never wanted to see an accidentally word, never. So yes, he killed his brother.
Clutching onto his stomach when he felt a sudden lightly pain, as if the baby was also hurting with his heart.
“It’s enough, Ryosuke. I’ll take my leave.”
Everyone still hated him.
***
He knew exactly, when the doctor said Yuto was opening his eyes last night, a bad feeling came across him. He knew he couldn’t run and falling his body into Yuto’s embrace anymore, giving a kiss on the forehead for showing his careness. No, he couldn’t do that again.
Because Nakajima Yuto had already known he was marrying a stranger during these two years.
The moment he stepped into Yuto’s room, the moment those orbs were staring at him with the look that he couldn’t recognize.
“How’s your feeling?” he realized they were trapped by an awkward situation.
“I’m okay.”
His mind was totally blank, as he was waiting the words from his spouse.
“Ryosuke.” Yuto called, making him cringe and back off a little, “What should we do after this thing revealed? What should we do with our marriage?”
He shook his head, not daring to answer.
“Ryosuke.” Yuto called again.
“I.. I don’t know.” He stuttered, “What.. do you think?”
“Me?”
Clumsily, he nodded.
“Let’s divorce.”
His eyes widened in shock, his hands were shaking and he was only hoping that his husband was making a joke but he knew it was a ridiculous thing to be a joke. And seeing the eyes of Yuto, he knew his husband was serious. There was no love in the eyes, and it hurt him more.
“Please, no..” he whimpered, taking all his courage to walk closer and grab Yuto’s hands, “No, Yuto. We’re having our baby.. please..”
“That’s your baby.”
His heart clenched as Yuto pulled his hands off from the tight grip. No, anything, he would accept anything and please make an exceptation for a divorcement.
“You’re the father, Yuto. Please don’t do this.” He hated to beg, but there was no choice, “Yuto, please. Don’t make our baby suffer even before it can face the world.”
Yuto looked up at him with the empty eyes, “You’re the one who make it suffer with everything that you’ve done.”
“Think straightly, he’s your child!” he shouted out, tears fell down from his eyes, “I beg you, Yuto. Don’t do this! You can hate me, you can let out your anger to me but please give our child a perfect life.. I’m sorry for what I’ve done before, but this child has no any sin..”
Yuto didn’t answer, actually, he couldn’t answer.
“Yuto..”
“Go.”
“Yuto, please.”
“I won’t divorce you. Please go now. My head hurts.”
He weakly stepped backwards, Yuto’s head was tilted to the side as if he didn’t wanna see his face anymore. The moment he got out of Yuto’s room, he fell down on the floor, letting his tears to come out. His body was terribly shaking, gasping for air as he felt his chest felt tight, this was the worst pain that he ever felt during this phase.
With all his might, he slowly stood up and tried to reach the doctor’s room.
Protecting the baby from the emotional pain he felt, it was his prority.
tsuzuku
Why does this ffic turn to be angst -___-
I dont know either DD:
And let me know what you think, please? :)
Author : hanashiaru
Rating : PG
Genre: Romance. Angst-Fluff.
Pairing : YamaJima
Summary : A secret was revealed in.. a happy family.
Warning: Uhm, since I still put Kazu in this ffic so... MPREG =3=a
A/N : Another story of... my ffics which are including Yamada twins and Kazu-chan
Prologue
Life was unfair, but sometimes, life was unwantedly turning fair at the time people didn’t need it.
And a truth couldn’t be hidden forever, Yamada Ryosuke knew about it.
.
.
.
Vomitting for the uncountable times for today, he took a deep breathe.
He was suddenly shuddering for seeing his reflection in the mirror, knowing how horrible his look was. True, he looked like a bear doll-no, a panda? He lost some weight but the lump in his tummy was getting bigger, accompanying his pale face and the black half-circled on his bottom eyes. Horrible, it was really horrible. His condition also wasn’t turned well. His life style was changed a lot and the pain was the worst, he would have thought that this was the worst phase in his life if he didn’t remember the happiness that would be appeared after passing through this pain.
Because a fragile life was inside him.
And he had a feeling that this child would make all things in this household become different, of course in a good way. He loved his baby before meeting it, he knew excatly that he loved his baby. No matter how many the baby would kick him, no matter how many he would be breathless by the naughty movement from it, he knew he loved the baby. It was moving cutely and he often giggled whenever he imagined what was the baby doing inside him, and soon the pain faded away.
Even though tiredness was still becoming an exact feeling for him...
... and it was certainly happening.
He got out of his bathroom after making sure the paleness was dissapeared from his face, only to get a surprise for seeing Yuto’s mother was sitting on the living room. He was about to curve a smile but he realized Yuto’s mother’s faceline was indicating a bad situation.
“Kyosuke.”
“What hapenned?”
Then, a bad news and also a sudden incident that had brought him a traumatic was heard from the lips of Yuto’s mother.
“Your husband, Kyosuke... he had a car accident.. he needs your blood donation now, please, Kyosuke!”
His feet felt weak all the sudden, a dizziness came across his head as he tried hard to stay calm.
“You’re still three months in pregnancy, it still saves for you to give your blood to him.. please..”
***
A car accident was the thing he scared the most.
Six years ago, his twin and him almost died by the car which was driven crazily. Five years ago, he lost his identity and his little brother at the same time because of a car accident. And now, his husband was dying because of a car accident.
He was still in traumatic, yet he couldn’t think straight.
Six years ago, when the twins brother were almost hit by the car, there was Nakajima Yuto who saved both of them. The twins were saved, but not for the other boy. They felt guilty, the boy’s parents blamed them and they could only gasp when they knew that the boy had anemia.
True enough, Nakajima Yuto almost didn’t have any future because of them. But the seventeen years old of Yamada Kyosuke immediately faced the doctor, asking the way to save the poor boy-his boyfriend to be cleared. Blood donation, the doctor answered it. The boy asked to be a volunteer, and it was a coincidence because both of Nakajima Yuto and Yamada Kyosuke had the suitable blood, a rare blood type.
And there, Nakajima Yuto was saved by his beloved boyfriend.
In this time, Nakajima Yuto’s mother asked for him to do a blood donation for the second time. Making him shudder and woken up from the reality, from the role that he was playing on.
Second time? He even never had his first time..
... he still remembered who he was.
The pathetic Yamada Ryosuke who was playing his brother’s role, no more thing.
And the scary words escaped from the doctor lips...
“He has no the same blood type with Nakajima-san, Mrs.”
... please, not now. Not now, he was not ready. His mother was also here and it scared him the most. His dirty secret shouldn’t be revealed now, please not now.
“But he had donated his blood, he has the same blood type with my son!”
“I’m the same doctor, Mrs. And I’ve checked his blood thrice, no suitable. I’m sorry..”
His heart was beating faster, his pale face went paller and the sudden sharp pain fully invaded him, “I’m... sorry.. I need to go to the restroom for.. awhile..”
Two steps away from his ordinate, he suddenly fell down and lost conscious.
.
.
.
.
He didn’t know whether it was a relief when he opened his eyes. But the scenery and a horrible life would strike him, from now on. His feeling said it.
At the moment he saw his mother was sitting beside him, not showing a good condition.
“Mom..”
His mother turned his head, facing him with unknown faceline.
“Mom, how’s Yuto?”
“He’ll be fine, his father who comes back from overseas has the same blood type with him.”
He sighed in relief for once, but he knew the reality in front of him, “Mom, you already know, don’t you?” He said weakly, tremble in the voice as he stared at his mother’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Doctor still stored Nakajima Yuto’s blood donator archieve six years ago. And it’s different from yours. Yes, I already know.” His mother sighed, closing her eyes as if she was hoping the mess in this situation dissapeared. “I’m dissapointed, Ryosuke.”
Ryosuke took a breathe, trying to be stronger for hearing the words.
“I’m not going to scold you because there’s a baby inside you, and I’m not stupid for making my grandchild in dangerous state. Now, keep your health.”
It wasn’t a comfortable sentence for him.
How could his mother say those words with a sharp tone? It was clearly heard that his mother was upset because of him. Sure, he knew that he was wrong. But why did he do all of this? He was just trying to find some happiness, a happiness that deserved and always deserved only for his little brother. And his mother didn’t know about that. Yamada Kyosuke, why did people love you that much? Why there was no a single space for him? Why couldn’t he be loved too? What was the differences between them? He never understood, never even for once.
His tears fell more as he realized for the very first time of his life, he hated for ever having an existance of his little brother in his life.
“Mom, please don’t hate me.”
His mother didn’t answer.
Did it mean... his mother really hated him?
“Mom, please..”
“You drove the car at that night. You.. drove the car.” She said quietly, “Did you know that you were drunk?! His brother picked you up from the bar, did you know how worried he was?! And why did you still insist for driving the car, Ryosuke? Why?”
He couldn’t hold his tears anymore, “I hated him for dragging me out from the bar.. I hated for being seen like he was my saviour if I just stayed silent in my seat only to hear his scold.. so I wanted to drive.”
“I don’t need your reason! You killed him!”
Yes, he killed his brother.
He accidentally killed his brother, that was true.
But Mom never wanted to see an accidentally word, never. So yes, he killed his brother.
Clutching onto his stomach when he felt a sudden lightly pain, as if the baby was also hurting with his heart.
“It’s enough, Ryosuke. I’ll take my leave.”
Everyone still hated him.
***
He knew exactly, when the doctor said Yuto was opening his eyes last night, a bad feeling came across him. He knew he couldn’t run and falling his body into Yuto’s embrace anymore, giving a kiss on the forehead for showing his careness. No, he couldn’t do that again.
Because Nakajima Yuto had already known he was marrying a stranger during these two years.
The moment he stepped into Yuto’s room, the moment those orbs were staring at him with the look that he couldn’t recognize.
“How’s your feeling?” he realized they were trapped by an awkward situation.
“I’m okay.”
His mind was totally blank, as he was waiting the words from his spouse.
“Ryosuke.” Yuto called, making him cringe and back off a little, “What should we do after this thing revealed? What should we do with our marriage?”
He shook his head, not daring to answer.
“Ryosuke.” Yuto called again.
“I.. I don’t know.” He stuttered, “What.. do you think?”
“Me?”
Clumsily, he nodded.
“Let’s divorce.”
His eyes widened in shock, his hands were shaking and he was only hoping that his husband was making a joke but he knew it was a ridiculous thing to be a joke. And seeing the eyes of Yuto, he knew his husband was serious. There was no love in the eyes, and it hurt him more.
“Please, no..” he whimpered, taking all his courage to walk closer and grab Yuto’s hands, “No, Yuto. We’re having our baby.. please..”
“That’s your baby.”
His heart clenched as Yuto pulled his hands off from the tight grip. No, anything, he would accept anything and please make an exceptation for a divorcement.
“You’re the father, Yuto. Please don’t do this.” He hated to beg, but there was no choice, “Yuto, please. Don’t make our baby suffer even before it can face the world.”
Yuto looked up at him with the empty eyes, “You’re the one who make it suffer with everything that you’ve done.”
“Think straightly, he’s your child!” he shouted out, tears fell down from his eyes, “I beg you, Yuto. Don’t do this! You can hate me, you can let out your anger to me but please give our child a perfect life.. I’m sorry for what I’ve done before, but this child has no any sin..”
Yuto didn’t answer, actually, he couldn’t answer.
“Yuto..”
“Go.”
“Yuto, please.”
“I won’t divorce you. Please go now. My head hurts.”
He weakly stepped backwards, Yuto’s head was tilted to the side as if he didn’t wanna see his face anymore. The moment he got out of Yuto’s room, he fell down on the floor, letting his tears to come out. His body was terribly shaking, gasping for air as he felt his chest felt tight, this was the worst pain that he ever felt during this phase.
With all his might, he slowly stood up and tried to reach the doctor’s room.
Protecting the baby from the emotional pain he felt, it was his prority.
tsuzuku
Why does this ffic turn to be angst -___-
I dont know either DD:
And let me know what you think, please? :)