[fic] safe
Safe
Kyuhyun/Sungmin; PG; 2,380 words; oneshot
Kyuhyun's true feelings about Sungmin come out in an interview.
a/n: sorry if it's vague and lame :( this is my first fic since like, three fandoms ago. I wanted to write about Sungmin's insecurities and Kyuhyun's behavior, attitude, and mannerisms during interviews, which amuse me.
"What do you want to learn from your hyungs?"
Kyuhyun froze up for a moment before catching himself and letting an easy smile part his lips. This interviewer had been catching him off guard left and right. It had been a while since he'd been interviewed alone. Without his hyungs there to tease or to answer questions for him, he actually had to think for a change, and the questions seemed more inquisitive on a personal level than a professional one.
Even so, there was room for a bit of honesty in Kyuhyun's life. Biting his lip, his eyes focused on the digital recorder set between them on the low table, sorting out his thoughts before opening his mouth.
"Individually or collectively?" He asked politely, and nodded when the interviewer smiled and gave him free reign.
"Ah," Kyuhyun began a bit uncertainly. "Eeteuk... Eeteuk hyung, he is our umma away from home. Living together in the dorm, things get very busy and frustrating from time to time, but Eeteuk hyung is always the one to settle things and keep us together as a family..."
An honest smile naturally formed on Kyuhyun's face, and memories flashed in his mind of Eeteuk coming to the 11th floor of the dorm every day to check on his hyungs, day or night, dressed for his schedule or sashaying about in his slippers and robe.
"I would like to learn his patience," Kyuhyun continued with humility. "As it stands, I don't have the strength to hold together thirteen hyungs." Ten hyungs, his mind corrected him, and his smile turned slightly bittersweet before continuing.
"Eunyuk hyung likes to tease me about choreography, because it's one of my weak points. But he works with me even after rehearsal is over and I appreciate his generosity. I want to become a better dancer, so I look to my hyung for help, and he is always willing to take time out of his schedule to practice with me."
Kyuhyun's eyes flicked to and fro, one part of his brain occupied with the interview, whilst the other recollected history.
"After the accident," he began, his throat closing up a bit so that he had to clear it and sip from his bottle of water. "Afterward, I was very weak... there was a lot of physical therapy involved, and it was, ah, difficult, to not be able to try my hardest. I had to hold myself back so that I wouldn't complicate my injuries..."
Brushing his hand across his nose, a nervous habit, Kyuhyun cleared his throat again and shifted discreetly in his seat.
"I could only watch my hyungs rehearse but couldn't join them. Eunhyuk hyung worked twice as hard in my absence, and it inspired me to try harder when I recovered. And since he worked with me, I am able to participate in the choreography more than in the past... I am very grateful to him," he finished self-consciously, covering his smile with his hand for a moment.
Kyuhyun could see that the interviewer was in no hurry to wrap things up, and would probably pull out another recorder if he talked the current one through its battery life. Sometimes Kyuhyun still wondered what was so interesting that he had to say. More often than not, he felt stupid during interviews. Why would anyone want to hear about his feelings or opinions? It was embarrassing, and his hyungs were much better at giving exciting answers, so he preferred to stay a wall flower in the back if he could.
A flush rose up his neck, and he scratched at it nervously, before continuing.
"My hyungs all have talents that I admire and aspire to gain, to be honest. I could talk forever," he laughed, embarrassed, rubbing the damp palms of his hands on his jeans. "Ah, but, I suppose to be more succinct..."
Kyuhyun's eyes glazed over a bit as he pictured his hyung in his mind, when he saw him before he left for his schedule this morning, sleepy-eyed, rumpled, and trudging reluctantly out the door to the gym.
"Sungmin hyung is someone I want to become more like," he began, his words a bit stilted and awkward. “Someone that I want to learn from.” He had never been surer of anything in his life, but confessing it aloud was strange. Kyuhyun realized it was the first time he had ever admitted such a thing, and wondered why he hadn't before.
"When I first met Sungmin hyung, I thought he could not be a member of Super Junior-" Kyuhyun stifled a laugh with the back of his hand when the interviewer chuckled outright. "Forgive me, please don't misunderstand - I don't think Sungmin hyung would be very happy with me - I only mean, he looked very...ah, innocent, I think," Kyuhyun continued, looking uncertain that he was explaining himself very well. "He was very pretty and sweet, and ah, petite, I think. He didn't seem like the other hyungs that I had already met... it is strange to remember this, because it doesn't make sense to imagine Super Junior without him."
Kyuhyun stopped for a moment at that thought, eyes flickering unseeing around the room as he remember watching his hyung's back as he left that morning. His throat swelled up slightly and he took a hasty drink before continuing - he felt uncomfortable having left off where he had.
"But Sungmin hyung, who became my roommate - or rather I became his - he is very talented. As I'm thinking of him, I can't think of anything he cannot do, or anything he wouldn't try once, or be able to learn in a heartbeat..."
Distracted, Kyuhyun leaned forward a bit; "did you see him tossing pizza dough?"
The interviewer looked taken aback at being addressed suddenly, and blushed at being caught off-guard.
"Actually yes, I did, ah-" the interviewer caught herself and looked around nervously for a moment, as if checking to see if they were being watched, then leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "I also saw him dancing with Brian oppa on Star King."
Kyuhyun burst out laughing and jerked backward, covering his reddened face in embarrassment. He hadn't expected such a response, nor the vivid images in his head of Sungmin pole dancing that played like a film right before his eyes. When Sungmin had come home from the recording and hidden under his pillow, blushing furiously while Eeteuk and Eunhyuk hyung danced suggestively around his and Kyuhyun's shared bedroom, Kyuhyun had looked up from his laptop in bewilderment, wondering why his hyungs were so perverted and traumatizing the innocent Sungmin.
After the episode had aired, everything made perfect sense... and Kyuhyun couldn't look at Sungmin without blushing from head to toe for weeks.
When he and the interviewer had finally calmed down - or were just giggling periodically - Kyuhyun cleared his throat.
"Yes, well, then you know what I mean when I say he is very talented," he continued, trying to hide his smile in embarrassment. "Whenever one of the hyungs wants to learn something new, it seems that Sungmin hyung already knows how, and can teach them. Or if he doesn't, he can learn it like that," Kyuhyun said, snapping his fingers with wide, shining eyes. "My first impression of Sungmin was not accurate at all, I think," Kyuhyun mused, but then caught himself. "I mean, yes, he is very cute and innocent-" Kyuhyun's face flushed red when the interviewer smiled, "but there is so much more going on behind that facade. Sungmin hyung is a very good idol... and he has always taken the best care of me, from my debut, to this very day," Kyuhyun said, smiling fondly.
He wondered what his hyung was doing now, and how upset he would be by how long Kyuhyun had just rambled on about him. Sungmin didn't like being talked about lately, it seemed. In the past he had wanted more attention, to be seen for his many talents and abilities, and it was hard to fight for recognition with so many hyungs. But over the years he had become more complacent and ready to sit back and be... a wall flower, more like Kyuhyun. Worrying his lip, Kyuhyun checked the clock on the wall discreetly while the interviewer shuffled some papers.
5:52 PM - Sungmin hyung should have gotten back from the gym hours ago. Today was an off-day for him. It always seemed that their schedules conflicted now. When Kyuhyun got back in, Sungmin was sleeping. When Sungmin woke up, Kyuhyun was passed out on his laptop.
"So, Sungmin-ssi... you want to learn everything from him?" The interviewer concluded.
Kyuhyun bowed his head; "yes," he replied honestly, a smile parting his lips, and this time he didn't cover it in embarrassment.
"Ah, but, if I may," he added, and the interviewer nodded. "Sungmin hyung... I would like to teach him something, too."
The interviewer perked up a bit and Kyuhyun flushed.
"Sungmin hyung is very talented, yes, but there is one thing he is not very good at," Kyuhyun confessed. Probably the interviewer thought he would reveal his teasing wit, but it would not fit the flow of the interview so far, and Kyuhyun was very serious.
"Sungmin hyung doesn't know his own greatness," Kyuhyun admitted, his face twisted slightly in sadness. "He works very hard to be his best, but I don't think he ever feels satisfied. I get the impression that he still wants to do more, or be better, but-" Kyuhyun stopped for a moment, seeing his hyung in his mind, hearing him say 'I'm going to rehearsal, I'm going to the gym, I'm going to this, I'm going to that, I'll be back late tonight, don't wait up, Kyuhyun-ah.' Kyuhyun's eyes continued to flicker, his mind miles away, in the dorm where he hoped Sungmin was resting.
"I want to teach Sungmin hyung to be satisfied," he finished honestly, bowing his head slightly out of respect and to hide the watering of his eyes.
ㅎ
Half an hour later when Kyuhyun was escorted out to the car, he pulled out his cell phone to check his messages. After a two hour long interview, he had two missed calls and seven text messages, some of which were from his hyungs who knew his schedule and still insisted on pestering him. One message was from Sungmin.
please drive safe, kyu
Kyuhyun's throat swelled as he glanced to the driver who had his hands at ten and two and his eyes trained tightly on the road. It had been more than three years, and yet every time Kyuhyun took a car without Sungmin, he always received a similar message. Feeling anxious about his hyung, but safe with the driver, Kyuhyun pulled the top couple buttons of his shirt open and tried to get comfortable for the ride back to the dorm, wondering if Ryeowook had managed to save him something to eat, or if he would have to make instant noodles, and if Eeteuk hyung had gotten enough sleep today, and if Sungmin had worked too hard at the gym, and if he would be asleep when Kyuhyun got home, like always...
ㅎ
The dorm was surprisingly quiet when Kyuhyun returned. The 11th floor was always quieter than the 12th, but there wasn't any clattering in the kitchen, no television or stereo roaring in the common area, or giggling or chatter from any bedrooms. Maybe everyone had gone out for dinner without him, Kyuhyun wondered, huffing and suddenly not feeling very hungry. Well, he didn't feel like footing the bill again, so he hoped they had a big expensive meal.
Trudging back to his bedroom, Kyuhyun pulled his button-up shirt out of his jeans and began to unbutton it completely, yawning widely as he pushed open the bedroom door with his sock covered toe. The blinds were drawn shut, the only light in the room the soft red glow of a lamp on Sungmin's desk. It threw shadows across the figure curled into the fetal position on Sungmin's bed, and Kyuhyun felt his heart leap.
His lips parted to mouth 'Min' but he didn't want to disturb his sleeping hyung if he could help it. As quietly as possible, he pulled his own blankets off his bed and drug them over to Sungmin's, where his hyung was sleeping curled up on top of his blankets. Kyuhyun bent over slightly to lay them out over his sleeping form and inspected his tired face. It pulled at his heart to see exhaustion written on his features even in sleep, and he wondered if Sungmin's eyes looked a bit red and puffy or if it was just from the red glow of the lamp. Unable to help himself, he reached his hand out to cup Sungmin's soft cheek, drawing a narrow fingertip under his eyes, and brushing a few stray bits of hair away from his forehead.
Sungmin shivered, face scrunching slightly, and his lips parted; "Kyu," he moaned weakly, more of a statement than a question.
Kyuhyun's lips parted in surprise, his fingers trembling slightly, wondering how Sungmin knew it was him.
Sungmin's hand came out from under Kyuhyun's blankets and grabbed Kyuhyun's white undershirt, exposed beneath his unbuttoned shirt, pulling him down blindly.
"I can smell you," he breathed sleepily. "I can feel you, Kyu. Your hands are cold, come under the covers," he murmured, pulling Kyuhyun down. Kyuhyun maneuvered onto the bed, under the blankets, still wearing the day's clothes, but feeling no discomfort.
Sungmin's small fist clutched tighter to Kyuhyun's shirt and pulled him closer, until he was breathing deeply against the soft cotton.
"You're safe," Sungmin murmured, satisfied.
Kyuhyun nodded dumbly, reaching up to brush at Sungmin's soft hair again, and extended his neck forward to press a kiss to his forehead.
"Be satisfied," Kyuhyun whispered under his breath against the warm skin at his lips.
Sungmin's face furrowed a bit, and his tired eyes reluctantly cracked open to peer up at Kyuhyun.
"What?" He croaked sleepily, releasing his hold on Kyuhyun's undershirt to slide it around his back and hug him close.
Kyuhyun smiled tiredly and shook his head.
"Nothing, Min. I'll tell you later."
afterword: here are videos of some things mentioned in the fic: sungmin and pizza dough and sungmin and brian.
Kyuhyun/Sungmin; PG; 2,380 words; oneshot
Kyuhyun's true feelings about Sungmin come out in an interview.
a/n: sorry if it's vague and lame :( this is my first fic since like, three fandoms ago. I wanted to write about Sungmin's insecurities and Kyuhyun's behavior, attitude, and mannerisms during interviews, which amuse me.
"What do you want to learn from your hyungs?"
Kyuhyun froze up for a moment before catching himself and letting an easy smile part his lips. This interviewer had been catching him off guard left and right. It had been a while since he'd been interviewed alone. Without his hyungs there to tease or to answer questions for him, he actually had to think for a change, and the questions seemed more inquisitive on a personal level than a professional one.
Even so, there was room for a bit of honesty in Kyuhyun's life. Biting his lip, his eyes focused on the digital recorder set between them on the low table, sorting out his thoughts before opening his mouth.
"Individually or collectively?" He asked politely, and nodded when the interviewer smiled and gave him free reign.
"Ah," Kyuhyun began a bit uncertainly. "Eeteuk... Eeteuk hyung, he is our umma away from home. Living together in the dorm, things get very busy and frustrating from time to time, but Eeteuk hyung is always the one to settle things and keep us together as a family..."
An honest smile naturally formed on Kyuhyun's face, and memories flashed in his mind of Eeteuk coming to the 11th floor of the dorm every day to check on his hyungs, day or night, dressed for his schedule or sashaying about in his slippers and robe.
"I would like to learn his patience," Kyuhyun continued with humility. "As it stands, I don't have the strength to hold together thirteen hyungs." Ten hyungs, his mind corrected him, and his smile turned slightly bittersweet before continuing.
"Eunyuk hyung likes to tease me about choreography, because it's one of my weak points. But he works with me even after rehearsal is over and I appreciate his generosity. I want to become a better dancer, so I look to my hyung for help, and he is always willing to take time out of his schedule to practice with me."
Kyuhyun's eyes flicked to and fro, one part of his brain occupied with the interview, whilst the other recollected history.
"After the accident," he began, his throat closing up a bit so that he had to clear it and sip from his bottle of water. "Afterward, I was very weak... there was a lot of physical therapy involved, and it was, ah, difficult, to not be able to try my hardest. I had to hold myself back so that I wouldn't complicate my injuries..."
Brushing his hand across his nose, a nervous habit, Kyuhyun cleared his throat again and shifted discreetly in his seat.
"I could only watch my hyungs rehearse but couldn't join them. Eunhyuk hyung worked twice as hard in my absence, and it inspired me to try harder when I recovered. And since he worked with me, I am able to participate in the choreography more than in the past... I am very grateful to him," he finished self-consciously, covering his smile with his hand for a moment.
Kyuhyun could see that the interviewer was in no hurry to wrap things up, and would probably pull out another recorder if he talked the current one through its battery life. Sometimes Kyuhyun still wondered what was so interesting that he had to say. More often than not, he felt stupid during interviews. Why would anyone want to hear about his feelings or opinions? It was embarrassing, and his hyungs were much better at giving exciting answers, so he preferred to stay a wall flower in the back if he could.
A flush rose up his neck, and he scratched at it nervously, before continuing.
"My hyungs all have talents that I admire and aspire to gain, to be honest. I could talk forever," he laughed, embarrassed, rubbing the damp palms of his hands on his jeans. "Ah, but, I suppose to be more succinct..."
Kyuhyun's eyes glazed over a bit as he pictured his hyung in his mind, when he saw him before he left for his schedule this morning, sleepy-eyed, rumpled, and trudging reluctantly out the door to the gym.
"Sungmin hyung is someone I want to become more like," he began, his words a bit stilted and awkward. “Someone that I want to learn from.” He had never been surer of anything in his life, but confessing it aloud was strange. Kyuhyun realized it was the first time he had ever admitted such a thing, and wondered why he hadn't before.
"When I first met Sungmin hyung, I thought he could not be a member of Super Junior-" Kyuhyun stifled a laugh with the back of his hand when the interviewer chuckled outright. "Forgive me, please don't misunderstand - I don't think Sungmin hyung would be very happy with me - I only mean, he looked very...ah, innocent, I think," Kyuhyun continued, looking uncertain that he was explaining himself very well. "He was very pretty and sweet, and ah, petite, I think. He didn't seem like the other hyungs that I had already met... it is strange to remember this, because it doesn't make sense to imagine Super Junior without him."
Kyuhyun stopped for a moment at that thought, eyes flickering unseeing around the room as he remember watching his hyung's back as he left that morning. His throat swelled up slightly and he took a hasty drink before continuing - he felt uncomfortable having left off where he had.
"But Sungmin hyung, who became my roommate - or rather I became his - he is very talented. As I'm thinking of him, I can't think of anything he cannot do, or anything he wouldn't try once, or be able to learn in a heartbeat..."
Distracted, Kyuhyun leaned forward a bit; "did you see him tossing pizza dough?"
The interviewer looked taken aback at being addressed suddenly, and blushed at being caught off-guard.
"Actually yes, I did, ah-" the interviewer caught herself and looked around nervously for a moment, as if checking to see if they were being watched, then leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "I also saw him dancing with Brian oppa on Star King."
Kyuhyun burst out laughing and jerked backward, covering his reddened face in embarrassment. He hadn't expected such a response, nor the vivid images in his head of Sungmin pole dancing that played like a film right before his eyes. When Sungmin had come home from the recording and hidden under his pillow, blushing furiously while Eeteuk and Eunhyuk hyung danced suggestively around his and Kyuhyun's shared bedroom, Kyuhyun had looked up from his laptop in bewilderment, wondering why his hyungs were so perverted and traumatizing the innocent Sungmin.
After the episode had aired, everything made perfect sense... and Kyuhyun couldn't look at Sungmin without blushing from head to toe for weeks.
When he and the interviewer had finally calmed down - or were just giggling periodically - Kyuhyun cleared his throat.
"Yes, well, then you know what I mean when I say he is very talented," he continued, trying to hide his smile in embarrassment. "Whenever one of the hyungs wants to learn something new, it seems that Sungmin hyung already knows how, and can teach them. Or if he doesn't, he can learn it like that," Kyuhyun said, snapping his fingers with wide, shining eyes. "My first impression of Sungmin was not accurate at all, I think," Kyuhyun mused, but then caught himself. "I mean, yes, he is very cute and innocent-" Kyuhyun's face flushed red when the interviewer smiled, "but there is so much more going on behind that facade. Sungmin hyung is a very good idol... and he has always taken the best care of me, from my debut, to this very day," Kyuhyun said, smiling fondly.
He wondered what his hyung was doing now, and how upset he would be by how long Kyuhyun had just rambled on about him. Sungmin didn't like being talked about lately, it seemed. In the past he had wanted more attention, to be seen for his many talents and abilities, and it was hard to fight for recognition with so many hyungs. But over the years he had become more complacent and ready to sit back and be... a wall flower, more like Kyuhyun. Worrying his lip, Kyuhyun checked the clock on the wall discreetly while the interviewer shuffled some papers.
5:52 PM - Sungmin hyung should have gotten back from the gym hours ago. Today was an off-day for him. It always seemed that their schedules conflicted now. When Kyuhyun got back in, Sungmin was sleeping. When Sungmin woke up, Kyuhyun was passed out on his laptop.
"So, Sungmin-ssi... you want to learn everything from him?" The interviewer concluded.
Kyuhyun bowed his head; "yes," he replied honestly, a smile parting his lips, and this time he didn't cover it in embarrassment.
"Ah, but, if I may," he added, and the interviewer nodded. "Sungmin hyung... I would like to teach him something, too."
The interviewer perked up a bit and Kyuhyun flushed.
"Sungmin hyung is very talented, yes, but there is one thing he is not very good at," Kyuhyun confessed. Probably the interviewer thought he would reveal his teasing wit, but it would not fit the flow of the interview so far, and Kyuhyun was very serious.
"Sungmin hyung doesn't know his own greatness," Kyuhyun admitted, his face twisted slightly in sadness. "He works very hard to be his best, but I don't think he ever feels satisfied. I get the impression that he still wants to do more, or be better, but-" Kyuhyun stopped for a moment, seeing his hyung in his mind, hearing him say 'I'm going to rehearsal, I'm going to the gym, I'm going to this, I'm going to that, I'll be back late tonight, don't wait up, Kyuhyun-ah.' Kyuhyun's eyes continued to flicker, his mind miles away, in the dorm where he hoped Sungmin was resting.
"I want to teach Sungmin hyung to be satisfied," he finished honestly, bowing his head slightly out of respect and to hide the watering of his eyes.
ㅎ
Half an hour later when Kyuhyun was escorted out to the car, he pulled out his cell phone to check his messages. After a two hour long interview, he had two missed calls and seven text messages, some of which were from his hyungs who knew his schedule and still insisted on pestering him. One message was from Sungmin.
please drive safe, kyu
Kyuhyun's throat swelled as he glanced to the driver who had his hands at ten and two and his eyes trained tightly on the road. It had been more than three years, and yet every time Kyuhyun took a car without Sungmin, he always received a similar message. Feeling anxious about his hyung, but safe with the driver, Kyuhyun pulled the top couple buttons of his shirt open and tried to get comfortable for the ride back to the dorm, wondering if Ryeowook had managed to save him something to eat, or if he would have to make instant noodles, and if Eeteuk hyung had gotten enough sleep today, and if Sungmin had worked too hard at the gym, and if he would be asleep when Kyuhyun got home, like always...
ㅎ
The dorm was surprisingly quiet when Kyuhyun returned. The 11th floor was always quieter than the 12th, but there wasn't any clattering in the kitchen, no television or stereo roaring in the common area, or giggling or chatter from any bedrooms. Maybe everyone had gone out for dinner without him, Kyuhyun wondered, huffing and suddenly not feeling very hungry. Well, he didn't feel like footing the bill again, so he hoped they had a big expensive meal.
Trudging back to his bedroom, Kyuhyun pulled his button-up shirt out of his jeans and began to unbutton it completely, yawning widely as he pushed open the bedroom door with his sock covered toe. The blinds were drawn shut, the only light in the room the soft red glow of a lamp on Sungmin's desk. It threw shadows across the figure curled into the fetal position on Sungmin's bed, and Kyuhyun felt his heart leap.
His lips parted to mouth 'Min' but he didn't want to disturb his sleeping hyung if he could help it. As quietly as possible, he pulled his own blankets off his bed and drug them over to Sungmin's, where his hyung was sleeping curled up on top of his blankets. Kyuhyun bent over slightly to lay them out over his sleeping form and inspected his tired face. It pulled at his heart to see exhaustion written on his features even in sleep, and he wondered if Sungmin's eyes looked a bit red and puffy or if it was just from the red glow of the lamp. Unable to help himself, he reached his hand out to cup Sungmin's soft cheek, drawing a narrow fingertip under his eyes, and brushing a few stray bits of hair away from his forehead.
Sungmin shivered, face scrunching slightly, and his lips parted; "Kyu," he moaned weakly, more of a statement than a question.
Kyuhyun's lips parted in surprise, his fingers trembling slightly, wondering how Sungmin knew it was him.
Sungmin's hand came out from under Kyuhyun's blankets and grabbed Kyuhyun's white undershirt, exposed beneath his unbuttoned shirt, pulling him down blindly.
"I can smell you," he breathed sleepily. "I can feel you, Kyu. Your hands are cold, come under the covers," he murmured, pulling Kyuhyun down. Kyuhyun maneuvered onto the bed, under the blankets, still wearing the day's clothes, but feeling no discomfort.
Sungmin's small fist clutched tighter to Kyuhyun's shirt and pulled him closer, until he was breathing deeply against the soft cotton.
"You're safe," Sungmin murmured, satisfied.
Kyuhyun nodded dumbly, reaching up to brush at Sungmin's soft hair again, and extended his neck forward to press a kiss to his forehead.
"Be satisfied," Kyuhyun whispered under his breath against the warm skin at his lips.
Sungmin's face furrowed a bit, and his tired eyes reluctantly cracked open to peer up at Kyuhyun.
"What?" He croaked sleepily, releasing his hold on Kyuhyun's undershirt to slide it around his back and hug him close.
Kyuhyun smiled tiredly and shook his head.
"Nothing, Min. I'll tell you later."
afterword: here are videos of some things mentioned in the fic: sungmin and pizza dough and sungmin and brian.