Original Fiction: "The Journey"

[halfshellvenus]

Title: The Journey
Fandom: Original Fiction
Author: HalfshellVenus
Rating: G
Author's Notes: For writerverse, and the prompt of "Wind

Comments

[ruby_jelly]

ouch.....!
Thankyou for sharing, :

[halfshellvenus]

Was the narrator's "identity" clear at the end? I'd hoped it would be, but didn't want to give it away too soon!

[ruby_jelly]

To be honest, I kept arguing with myself; initially no idea, expecting a light-weight seed,dandelion maybe. Then it was stabbed, hmmm..., then prone, crippled. Awaiting germination? Then tumbled together. Corn (or similar) being harvested? The heat of fired triggered thoughts of eucalyptus seeds, as they require the severe heat of fire to germinate. I was totally engaged, but not confident I identified the narrator at all. :)

[halfshellvenus]

Close, very close! This was intended to be a leaf, portable enough b the wind (when it isn't wet), and then raked and bonfired at the end. :O

[tsuki_no_bara]

this is actually kind of depressing! kind of a leaves fall, everything burns kind of story. i like that it's subtle about who (or what, i guess) the narrator is.

[halfshellvenus]

Leaves DO fall, and may get burned up late in autumn. That's what happened to this poor thing.

It has no way of knowing that its life is cycling, that hanging on the tree forever isn't how things end. It will detach, late in life, and fall or get whisked away. Once you leave the tree, death has already begun, but the process would all be new to the leaf itself. Just also... terminal. :O

[ruby_jelly]

Puts me in mind of a Monty Python animated sketch of autumn from many years ago: one leaf falls, a small voice says, "Daddy". Followed a sigh, and all the leaves fall as if in cue. Visually it was funny, maybe looses a little in the repeating, aye? :o