Comments | halfshellvenus: Supernatural Gen Fiction: Even Eden Fell (PG-13, "Croatoan"-based)

halfshellvenus

Supernatural Gen Fiction: Even Eden Fell (PG-13, "Croatoan"-based)

Sep 06, 2008 22:46

Title: Even Eden Fell
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sarge, Dean, Sam (Gen)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The end of the world always happens on a personal basis.
Author's Notes: I started this for super_summer last year, but just couldn't get it to finish until revisiting it a year later. My episode was "Croatoan," and this character was one of my favorite ( Read more... )

spn_ep_based_fic, my_fic, sn_gen, spn_s2_fic, switch_25, super_summer

Comments 23

brigid_tanner September 7 2008, 13:17:03 UTC

You made the sergeant real. Great backstory. I like that it's about him, and the Winchesters are incidental.

halfshellvenus September 7 2008, 17:57:40 UTC

I loved that character so much, and I charged into this a year ago and then it just fizzled during the clinic scene and I grew to hate it.

When I re-opened it a week ago, I was surprised to find that it was better than I remembered- and that my love for this backstory was as big as ever. Yay, Sarge!

tabaqui September 7 2008, 16:16:59 UTC

Ah, man. Lovely bit of backstory on the Sarge, who was really a very cool character.

I love his last thoughts - that she was still with him after all those years.

halfshellvenus September 7 2008, 17:59:40 UTC

I SO loved that character in "Croatoan," and when Duane got him in the end- after we thought he'd escaped safely- that was one of the biggest NOOoooooos I've had yet for a 1-episode character.

I love his last thoughts - that she was still with him after all those years.
It's such a revealing moment, that in the end that was the thing that came to him immediately even after trying so very hard to forget her.

But the romantic in my understands that very well. You can't choose whom you love, and you certainly can't choose to stop loving them even if you'd like to.

tsuki_no_bara September 7 2008, 17:32:47 UTC

this is some good backstory. i love how you gate the sarge a name and a history and fleshed out his personality, and i like that he's not swayed by dean's mention of john's service.

halfshellvenus September 7 2008, 18:01:14 UTC

The character did have a name (I think someone used it once in that episode), and I had to find it off of imdb.com or Superwiki or something, because to me he'll always be "Sarge."

and i like that he's not swayed by dean's mention of john's service.
I loved that in the show-- Sarge was really sharp, and that little moment showed that about him immediately. :)

happywriter06 September 7 2008, 17:39:41 UTC

If they had written a backstory for Sarge, it probably would've been similar to this.

I just love the images you create.

I love the title. It's perfect.

halfshellvenus September 7 2008, 18:04:42 UTC

If they had written a backstory for Sarge, it probably would've been similar to this.
I sure hope so. I loved that character, and I would have loved to find out more about him.

The fact that he ran that fishing/boat-rental place, and clearly (by his dialect) hadn't come from the area were what cemented most of the details of the backstory. So the question of why he ran so far from where he started became a great story to tell.

I love the title. It's perfect.
Thank you! I was ready to post this yesterday morning, but I'd been wrangling with the title for days. I spent probably 3 hours total looking around the Internet and Bartlett's trying to find something related to Betrayal, Cain and Abel, Kill Thy Neighbor, anything like that.

And then suddenly, late last night, I re-read the beginning of the story (with that idyllic setting), and that title came to me. It kind of implies everything I was looking for, without saying it directly.

Sarge... what a totally awesome secondary character you were. Darn Demon-Duane!

happywriter06 September 18 2008, 22:25:03 UTC

The fact that he ran that fishing/boat-rental place, and clearly (by his dialect) hadn't come from the area were what cemented most of the details of the backstory.
I never noticed his dialect. I have a habit of glossing over that stuff unless the person's accent is so obvious. My ears don't pick up on stuff like that.

I spent probably 3 hours total looking around the Internet...
Oh man, I hear ya. Sometimes I can spend as much time looking for a title as I did writing the first draft.

Sarge... what a totally awesome secondary character you were. Darn Demon-Duane!
I know.

halfshellvenus September 19 2008, 00:32:10 UTC

I never noticed his dialect. I have a habit of glossing over that stuff unless the person's accent is so obvious. My ears don't pick up on stuff like that.

Mine definitely do, and since I'm from Oregon (and that area of Oregon is pretty much a "dialect-free" zone like where I grew up), it stands out to me.

Similarly, I saw via imdb.com that Jeffrey Dean Morgan grew up in Seattle. That means he should sound like me, but on SPN he has a drawl of some sort. So now I wonder if he does in fact talk that way (where are his parents from?), or if that's something he put on because the Winchesters are from Kansas.

Sometimes I can spend as much time looking for a title as I did writing the first draft.
That's happening to me a lot lately, and it's pretty much driving me crazy. I'm all ready to post, BUT... no title! Or not a good one, anyway. :0

nghthwk8 September 7 2008, 18:32:40 UTC

I love your stories. I'm glad that you didn't give up on this character and the plot. Sometimes you need space and time to get a good grasp on where the story is going. I always wondered what happened to the doctor. Duane mentioned something about everyone being taken care of, did that include the doctor? Or did they plan on someone taking care of her? Obviously, a number of people survived even if they disappeared, what is going with them? I think I heard that the virus will be a factor in this season, will these people show up?

halfshellvenus September 8 2008, 03:26:55 UTC

Thank you so much for your kind words. :)

I'm glad that you didn't give up on this character and the plot.
Oh, me too. As soon as I started re-reading what I'd already written, it came back to me why I'd chosen that as his backstory and how much I still wanted to tell his story.

When a one-episode character dies and you feel like mourning him, that really says something.

Duane mentioned something about everyone being taken care of, did that include the doctor?
That's a great question-- because like the sergeant, she was fine when everyone left the clinic. But it could be that something latent rose up in her, or that another demon took care of her (I have the impression that Duane was never infected, just possessed- and that he was one of the agents spreading the killing fever through that town).

I think I heard that the virus will be a factor in this season, will these people show up?
Ooh, if the idea does resurface (because they never really 'resolved' that episode at all), then I'd really like to see some of the people from the ( ... )