miss a - risks
Risks
miss a, jia/suzy
pg-13, 2700 words.
Post-grad AU? Something like that. Suzy doesn't know what's good for her.
Notes: Sometimes these things just kind of happen! And by these things I mean fic things. This is unbeta'd, because I am impatient. I think I read it over enough times, but, uh. I guess you never know. Please let me know if you see something glaring!
"Your friend is pretty, Min."
Suzy coughs, taken aback by the sudden attention.
"Yeah, in a doe-eyed, innocent kind of way," says Min dismissively. "Where'd you come from, Jia?"
"Ignore her, you're adorable," says Jia. "What's your name?"
"I'm Suzy."
"She lives in the building with us," offers Min. "4D."
"Really?" says Jia. "I don't know you. I'm Jia."
Suzy knows Jia, though. There's no one in their apartment complex that doesn't know her: she's loud and her hair color changes at least once a month, not to mention she's always smoking outside the entrance and any noises coming from the pool area at 2am are almost always her. Suzy's next door neighbor hates her, but Suzy's always been a little bit entranced.
(This is not, in fact, their first meeting. Suzy has it all catalogued: Min has introduced Suzy to Jia three different times at three different bars, Jia has nodded to her in the elevator twice, and once when Suzy dropped a sock in the stairwell on her way down from the laundry room, Jia ran after her to return it. This is, however, the one that sticks.)
Two weeks later, Jia knocks on her door.
"I think I'm breaking up with my boyfriend," says Jia. "Let's go get drunk."
"Um, okay," says Suzy. "I, uh..."
"Oh sorry, did you have plans?"
Suzy's not about to admit that her plans for Friday night mostly included memorizing lines and the dotori mook her mother left for her in the fridge. So she just says no.
"Great," says Jia. "Get dressed!"
She calls Fei. "I should wear jeans, I think."
"When was the last time you ever wore jeans to a bar, Miss Priss?" Fei laughs.
"But that's the point, she's like, beautiful," whines Suzy. "And awesome. And way cooler than me. I don't want her to think I'm a little girl!"
"You're more stressed about what you're wearing to this than what you wore to your last date," observes Fei. "Who cares!"
Suzy frowns at the dress she's wearing in the mirror. It's very pretty, but entirely unsexy. "This is who I am," she sighs, finally. "I guess if we're going to be friends she'll have to know that."
A heartbroken Jia is a flirty Jia, it seems, and after she and Suzy have an awkward talk, orienting themselves in each other's lives for the first time, she declares that where they are sitting, the furthest booth back, puts them too far out of the line of sight of the meet market. She ends up cajoling three different men into buying both of them drinks before they wind up outside the back entrance, awkwardly toying with their phones.
Jia suddenly hangs her phone in front of Suzy's face. It's open to a text message from "Boything" that says come on babe it's not that big a deal. Jia is looking at her expectantly, as if she should be able to divine the whole story from those nine words.
"Um," says Suzy helpfully.
"He's always saying shit to me," says Jia. "Like about my appearance, all 'you should go shopping with Min babe, I love her style' or 'did you go to the gym today?' Like he's trying to change me."
Suzy's eyes unconsciously trail the line of Jia's form, the way her casual but tight tank-top emphasizes everything perfectly. "I can't imagine why he'd want to."
"You don't have to say that." Then, after a moment: "You're sweet."
It takes Suzy a bit to realize that Jia's started to cry. "Oh," she blubbers, then awkwardly places her arm around Jia's shoulders.
Suzy's phone buzzes in the morning. thanks 4 the support girlie. luv u. lunch thursday?
"Let's find you a guy, Soo-ji," trills Jia when she comes back from her smoke break, almost startling the drink out of Suzy's hand when she tucks her fingers into Suzy's elbow and pulls her close.
"W-what?" stutters Suzy.
"Oh god, I'm sorry," says Jia quickly, untangling herself from Suzy so she can turn to see her face. "Guy, girl, I don't care. What's your flavor, princess?"
"I...," says Suzy, watching Jia eye a pair of very male asses near the pool table. "Guys, I guess."
She's such a coward.
Suzy gets a text at the end of June: will u help me plan nichkhun's birthday party? Two minutes later: he says i promised last night? lol i don't remember saying that but w/e!. After four more: next tuesday.
Suzy texts "sure" back, after agonizing a couple of minutes about whether she should use a period, exclamation point or smiley face at the end before telling herself she's ridiculous and sending the word back naked. It seems to be the wrong choice, because Jia never gets back to her.
She goes to the party, though, squished at a small table with Jia, a pretty girl named Hyuna, Hyuna's boyfriend, and three other boys whose names she forgets. It's the first and only time Suzy meets Nichkhun, Jia's new boyfriend ("not my boyfriend," says Jia in the bathroom. The way Hyuna smirks as she applies her lipstick implies she's heard this speech many times), and the only personality trait she can really read off him is drunk. Jia and Nichkhun sit precisely across the table from Suzy. It gives her an uncomfortable front row view of every time Jia playfully tugs him over for a kiss.
"Do you know what Nichkhun's never had, Jia?" says one of the boys when Nichkhun's on the other end of the restaurant, conferring with a girl in a tiara about their shared date of birth. Everyone at the table unconsciously leans closer to hear him pronounce "Birthday sex."
Jia gives him a look somewhere between a simper and a scowl, and gives Nichkhun a long, hard look before she goes back to slurping Suzy's drink.
Fifteen minutes later she catches Suzy and Hyuna on their way back from the bathroom and tugs on Suzy's arm. "We're going."
"What?" says Suzy. She feels like she spends an unnatural amount of time giving Jia the wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look.
"He's flirting with that girl again," says Jia. "The one with that stupid crown. Did you see it the first time?"
Suzy isn't sure she would call what she saw flirting, technically, but she nods anyway. Hyuna flicks her eyes between the two of them.
"That's totally inappropriate, right?" says Jia. "I'm here, he can't do that in front of me, I don't care how official it's not. You can't keep talking about how you might want me to be your real girlfriend and then flirt with other girls in front of me. I mean, I know it's his birthday, but."
"He really likes you, Jia," says Hyuna diplomatically. "He's just drunk. She just had her arm around him."
Jia's eyes fall on Suzy, begging her for support. Suddenly it's less a matter of reason and more a matter of loyalty. "It's rude, though. With Jia right there."
"Yeah, we're going," says Jia firmly, grabbing Suzy's arm and pulling her towards the exit. Suzy gives Hyuna a helpless look over her shoulder.
"We've actually only had sex three times," confesses Jia, reaching into the back of her closet for her third-favorite pair of Keds. "We're lacking that like, animal thing, you know?"
Suzy averts her eyes from the distracting length of back skin revealed as Jia's tank top slips up.
"I think you need that for it to be a boyfriend," says Jia.
Every time Jia brings this subject, Suzy swishes her tongue along the back of her bottom teeth and hopes that the number hasn't gone up. (When Nichkhun leaves for Thailand, it's six.)
"You're an idiot," says Fei as she reties the knot in the back of Suzy's bikini top.
"I know," says Suzy.
"All you do is make life hard for yourself, you know that, right?" Finished, she pushes Suzy around to face her.
"Of course."
"Whatever happened to that girl you were seeing in April?"
Suzy wrinkles her nose. "I wasn't really seeing her, it was just two dates."
"She was pretty," offers Fei.
"Yeah," says Suzy noncommitally.
Fei sighs. "You and your straight girls."
"It's just that I think I like you," says Suzy. They're at a sidewalk cafe, sipping on lemonade. Suzy's isn't spiked, so this isn't liquid courage.
"You think you like me?" laughs Jia. "Suzy, we've been like, best friends for months now, you're a little slow on the uptake."
"No," says Suzy. "You don't understand. I think I like you."
Jia's mouth hangs open for a moment, like some weird, ugly fish, the first time Suzy has ever seen her speechless.
It's the last time they talk for a month.
In September, hey can u do me a favor and check the weather forecast 4 tonight, please?
warm enough, Suzy replies, her fingers shaking. sixty percent chance of rain, though.
tough luck. are u free to get dinner tonight?
yes.
"Do you remember that guy I kept blowing off because I was seeing Nichkhun?" says Jia as soon as she walks up to where Suzy's sitting. An outside table, as requested. They're in high demand tonight, but Suzy got here early.
"Not really."
"Well, he exists, and I'm getting drinks with him after this," says Jia. "What are you doing? Will you be my buffer?"
Suzy's heart sinks, but she shrugs assent anyway.
"Maybe he has a friend for you," says Jia. "I'll see."
"I'm like, weirdly proud of my bruises, actually," says Jia as she shares a cigarette with the boy she's meeting (his name is Junsu) on the steps outside her favorite bar. Suzy's heard this already, so she watches a policeman across the street try to mediate between two irate drivers who've just been in an accident.
"How did you get them?" Junsu asks conversationally.
"At the creek," Jia says, puffed up. "I jumped off a bridge. Like twenty times. Hey, we should go tonight."
"What?"
"Yeah it'll be great," says Jia.
"I don't know..." says Junsu.
"Suzy'll do it," says Jia. "Right, Soo-ji? You're game?"
"Yeah," says Suzy noncommitally. "Sure."
She can feel the weight of Jia's gaze on her. She keeps her gaze fixed defiantly across the street.
It's not as bad as she expects: there's a boy from Gwanju provice there, and finding someone from home this far across the world makes for a good twenty minutes of conversation. She gets a text from Fei, Min says you're with Jia right now WHAT'S GOING ON?!, that she forgets to reply to. Junsu buys Jia two doubles, halfway through the second they both start howling along to a song playing on the jukebox. Suzy recognizes the tune, but doesn't know any of the lyrics.
When it's over, Jia announces she has to pee, and looks at Suzy expectantly. She grabs her purse and follows Jia to the bathroom.
"We're way too pretty for these boys, Suzy," says Jia as soon as the door swings shut after them.
"What?" says Suzy. "They're fine..."
"Way too pretty," insists Jia, as if there is no more room for argument. "We've got to get out of here."
"We can't just leave," says Suzy awkwardly.
"Why not?" says Jia.
"Where would we even go?"
"Dancing," says Jia. "I really feel like dancing."
It's Monday night and there's only one bar with a dance floor open, and it's empty. Jia doesn't care, sauntering up to the DJ and asking if he would please turn off the classic rock in favor of something a little more danceable. Suzy bites her lip and watches for a moment as Jia twirls across the lonely dance floor, amazed at how sharp she still looks after the number of drinks she's had. After a couple of moments, Jia rolls her eyes at her and pulls her out into the lights, and spins her around.
"Let's get cupcakes," says Suzy as they leave. "It's only eleven, the cupcake place is still open."
"No," says Jia fondly, nudging at her shoulder. "We're going to go jump off the bridge."
"Even though it's raining?"
"It's just sprinkling," says Jia. "Don't be a weenie."
Suzy sighs, but follows.
The bridge is eleven blocks away, tucked into an odd park in one of the classy residential neighborhoods that surrounds downtown. Suzy catches her breath, she loves places like this, secrets tucked away in a city. She turns to ask Jia how she found this place, only to find her tucking her purse and clothes behind a bush. Suzy almost chokes at the unexpected shock of seeing all that white skin.
"Are you going to go in your clothes?" Jia asks, turning around. There's no streetlight nearby, so Suzy can't quite make out the expression on her face, or the true color of her bra (just that it's dark, maybe black or brown or navy, but it feels wrong to stare any longer than necessary when Jia's made herself so clear).
Suzy shakes her head mutely, and begins to unzip her dress as Jia clamors over the bridge railing.
"I'll go first," says Jia. "So you can see. And so I can catch you, if necessary."
If necessary, Suzy's head shrieks. What does that even mean? How dangerous is this? We're high up, maybe ten feet from the water below. I've always been afraid of falling, Jia, she wants to say. I've always been afraid of beaning my head on a rock. But she keeps her mouth shut and nods as her dress pools at her feet. Most of her wants to try.
Jia drops. Suzy runs across the bridge to see her come out the other side, to see if she's fine, but it's too dark and the water's too fast for her to make out anything. "Jia?" she calls uncertainly, after a moment.
"I'm fine!" says Jia. "Your turn."
Suzy gulps, but climbs over the railing anyway. She tries to dangle herself as close to the water as possible, before she realizes that she's effectively put herself at the point of no return: she couldn't pull herself back up now if she wanted to. She takes a breath, and lets go.
She hits her knee, but comes up grinning anyway. "I did it," she says to Jia triumphantly as she wades to the edge. She holds her hand up for a high five, but Jia pulls her into a hug.
"Do you want to go again?"
"Let's rest a minute," says Suzy, and when Jia's face falls: "And then we'll go again."
They waddle off, dripping, and crouch for a minute by the bush where they've left their things. The dust of the path is very attracted to their wet skin, and even as she shivers, Suzy realizes after a moment that she wants to go back.
"Okay," she says. "Again."
"This time don't dangle so much," says Jia. "The higher you drop from the less likely you are to get hit. I'll show you."
It's true, Suzy realizes and she submerges in the water a second time. Jia's not waiting in the shallow water this time, she's sitting on the bank. Suzy pulls herself up next to her.
"Soo-ji," says Jia once she's all the way up, reaching out to brush the wet hair out of her face affectionately. "Have you ever been with a girl?"
She says in the almost same tone she always asks these questions: Suzy, have you ever tried drugs? Have you ever had sex in a public place? Have you ever vomited into a flowerbed? But there's a tremor in her voice, an uncertainty. Suzy knows her well enough to recognize the cracks in her veneer.
"Yeah," says Suzy. "I mean... 'been with' is kind of, I don't know. Impersonal sounding. But yeah."
Jia twists her lips, considering. "You'll show me, then?"
"Jia," says Suzy carefully. "I don't want..."
"I know what you want," says Jia. "It won't just be one time. I can try."
Jia's eyes bore into Suzy's face, seeking some unspoken permission. She must find it, because her arms creep around Suzy and she kisses her neck, then her throat, the motion somehow simultaneously tender and erotic. There's nothing latent about it. Suzy shivers, takes a breath.
u r sweet, says the text in the morning. A minute later: and not in a personality trait kind of way, if u know what i mean, and then, quickly, oh god sry i'm so bad at sexting just tell me when u can come over ok.
miss a, jia/suzy
pg-13, 2700 words.
Post-grad AU? Something like that. Suzy doesn't know what's good for her.
Notes: Sometimes these things just kind of happen! And by these things I mean fic things. This is unbeta'd, because I am impatient. I think I read it over enough times, but, uh. I guess you never know. Please let me know if you see something glaring!
"Your friend is pretty, Min."
Suzy coughs, taken aback by the sudden attention.
"Yeah, in a doe-eyed, innocent kind of way," says Min dismissively. "Where'd you come from, Jia?"
"Ignore her, you're adorable," says Jia. "What's your name?"
"I'm Suzy."
"She lives in the building with us," offers Min. "4D."
"Really?" says Jia. "I don't know you. I'm Jia."
Suzy knows Jia, though. There's no one in their apartment complex that doesn't know her: she's loud and her hair color changes at least once a month, not to mention she's always smoking outside the entrance and any noises coming from the pool area at 2am are almost always her. Suzy's next door neighbor hates her, but Suzy's always been a little bit entranced.
(This is not, in fact, their first meeting. Suzy has it all catalogued: Min has introduced Suzy to Jia three different times at three different bars, Jia has nodded to her in the elevator twice, and once when Suzy dropped a sock in the stairwell on her way down from the laundry room, Jia ran after her to return it. This is, however, the one that sticks.)
Two weeks later, Jia knocks on her door.
"I think I'm breaking up with my boyfriend," says Jia. "Let's go get drunk."
"Um, okay," says Suzy. "I, uh..."
"Oh sorry, did you have plans?"
Suzy's not about to admit that her plans for Friday night mostly included memorizing lines and the dotori mook her mother left for her in the fridge. So she just says no.
"Great," says Jia. "Get dressed!"
She calls Fei. "I should wear jeans, I think."
"When was the last time you ever wore jeans to a bar, Miss Priss?" Fei laughs.
"But that's the point, she's like, beautiful," whines Suzy. "And awesome. And way cooler than me. I don't want her to think I'm a little girl!"
"You're more stressed about what you're wearing to this than what you wore to your last date," observes Fei. "Who cares!"
Suzy frowns at the dress she's wearing in the mirror. It's very pretty, but entirely unsexy. "This is who I am," she sighs, finally. "I guess if we're going to be friends she'll have to know that."
A heartbroken Jia is a flirty Jia, it seems, and after she and Suzy have an awkward talk, orienting themselves in each other's lives for the first time, she declares that where they are sitting, the furthest booth back, puts them too far out of the line of sight of the meet market. She ends up cajoling three different men into buying both of them drinks before they wind up outside the back entrance, awkwardly toying with their phones.
Jia suddenly hangs her phone in front of Suzy's face. It's open to a text message from "Boything" that says come on babe it's not that big a deal. Jia is looking at her expectantly, as if she should be able to divine the whole story from those nine words.
"Um," says Suzy helpfully.
"He's always saying shit to me," says Jia. "Like about my appearance, all 'you should go shopping with Min babe, I love her style' or 'did you go to the gym today?' Like he's trying to change me."
Suzy's eyes unconsciously trail the line of Jia's form, the way her casual but tight tank-top emphasizes everything perfectly. "I can't imagine why he'd want to."
"You don't have to say that." Then, after a moment: "You're sweet."
It takes Suzy a bit to realize that Jia's started to cry. "Oh," she blubbers, then awkwardly places her arm around Jia's shoulders.
Suzy's phone buzzes in the morning. thanks 4 the support girlie. luv u. lunch thursday?
"Let's find you a guy, Soo-ji," trills Jia when she comes back from her smoke break, almost startling the drink out of Suzy's hand when she tucks her fingers into Suzy's elbow and pulls her close.
"W-what?" stutters Suzy.
"Oh god, I'm sorry," says Jia quickly, untangling herself from Suzy so she can turn to see her face. "Guy, girl, I don't care. What's your flavor, princess?"
"I...," says Suzy, watching Jia eye a pair of very male asses near the pool table. "Guys, I guess."
She's such a coward.
Suzy gets a text at the end of June: will u help me plan nichkhun's birthday party? Two minutes later: he says i promised last night? lol i don't remember saying that but w/e!. After four more: next tuesday.
Suzy texts "sure" back, after agonizing a couple of minutes about whether she should use a period, exclamation point or smiley face at the end before telling herself she's ridiculous and sending the word back naked. It seems to be the wrong choice, because Jia never gets back to her.
She goes to the party, though, squished at a small table with Jia, a pretty girl named Hyuna, Hyuna's boyfriend, and three other boys whose names she forgets. It's the first and only time Suzy meets Nichkhun, Jia's new boyfriend ("not my boyfriend," says Jia in the bathroom. The way Hyuna smirks as she applies her lipstick implies she's heard this speech many times), and the only personality trait she can really read off him is drunk. Jia and Nichkhun sit precisely across the table from Suzy. It gives her an uncomfortable front row view of every time Jia playfully tugs him over for a kiss.
"Do you know what Nichkhun's never had, Jia?" says one of the boys when Nichkhun's on the other end of the restaurant, conferring with a girl in a tiara about their shared date of birth. Everyone at the table unconsciously leans closer to hear him pronounce "Birthday sex."
Jia gives him a look somewhere between a simper and a scowl, and gives Nichkhun a long, hard look before she goes back to slurping Suzy's drink.
Fifteen minutes later she catches Suzy and Hyuna on their way back from the bathroom and tugs on Suzy's arm. "We're going."
"What?" says Suzy. She feels like she spends an unnatural amount of time giving Jia the wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look.
"He's flirting with that girl again," says Jia. "The one with that stupid crown. Did you see it the first time?"
Suzy isn't sure she would call what she saw flirting, technically, but she nods anyway. Hyuna flicks her eyes between the two of them.
"That's totally inappropriate, right?" says Jia. "I'm here, he can't do that in front of me, I don't care how official it's not. You can't keep talking about how you might want me to be your real girlfriend and then flirt with other girls in front of me. I mean, I know it's his birthday, but."
"He really likes you, Jia," says Hyuna diplomatically. "He's just drunk. She just had her arm around him."
Jia's eyes fall on Suzy, begging her for support. Suddenly it's less a matter of reason and more a matter of loyalty. "It's rude, though. With Jia right there."
"Yeah, we're going," says Jia firmly, grabbing Suzy's arm and pulling her towards the exit. Suzy gives Hyuna a helpless look over her shoulder.
"We've actually only had sex three times," confesses Jia, reaching into the back of her closet for her third-favorite pair of Keds. "We're lacking that like, animal thing, you know?"
Suzy averts her eyes from the distracting length of back skin revealed as Jia's tank top slips up.
"I think you need that for it to be a boyfriend," says Jia.
Every time Jia brings this subject, Suzy swishes her tongue along the back of her bottom teeth and hopes that the number hasn't gone up. (When Nichkhun leaves for Thailand, it's six.)
"You're an idiot," says Fei as she reties the knot in the back of Suzy's bikini top.
"I know," says Suzy.
"All you do is make life hard for yourself, you know that, right?" Finished, she pushes Suzy around to face her.
"Of course."
"Whatever happened to that girl you were seeing in April?"
Suzy wrinkles her nose. "I wasn't really seeing her, it was just two dates."
"She was pretty," offers Fei.
"Yeah," says Suzy noncommitally.
Fei sighs. "You and your straight girls."
"It's just that I think I like you," says Suzy. They're at a sidewalk cafe, sipping on lemonade. Suzy's isn't spiked, so this isn't liquid courage.
"You think you like me?" laughs Jia. "Suzy, we've been like, best friends for months now, you're a little slow on the uptake."
"No," says Suzy. "You don't understand. I think I like you."
Jia's mouth hangs open for a moment, like some weird, ugly fish, the first time Suzy has ever seen her speechless.
It's the last time they talk for a month.
In September, hey can u do me a favor and check the weather forecast 4 tonight, please?
warm enough, Suzy replies, her fingers shaking. sixty percent chance of rain, though.
tough luck. are u free to get dinner tonight?
yes.
"Do you remember that guy I kept blowing off because I was seeing Nichkhun?" says Jia as soon as she walks up to where Suzy's sitting. An outside table, as requested. They're in high demand tonight, but Suzy got here early.
"Not really."
"Well, he exists, and I'm getting drinks with him after this," says Jia. "What are you doing? Will you be my buffer?"
Suzy's heart sinks, but she shrugs assent anyway.
"Maybe he has a friend for you," says Jia. "I'll see."
"I'm like, weirdly proud of my bruises, actually," says Jia as she shares a cigarette with the boy she's meeting (his name is Junsu) on the steps outside her favorite bar. Suzy's heard this already, so she watches a policeman across the street try to mediate between two irate drivers who've just been in an accident.
"How did you get them?" Junsu asks conversationally.
"At the creek," Jia says, puffed up. "I jumped off a bridge. Like twenty times. Hey, we should go tonight."
"What?"
"Yeah it'll be great," says Jia.
"I don't know..." says Junsu.
"Suzy'll do it," says Jia. "Right, Soo-ji? You're game?"
"Yeah," says Suzy noncommitally. "Sure."
She can feel the weight of Jia's gaze on her. She keeps her gaze fixed defiantly across the street.
It's not as bad as she expects: there's a boy from Gwanju provice there, and finding someone from home this far across the world makes for a good twenty minutes of conversation. She gets a text from Fei, Min says you're with Jia right now WHAT'S GOING ON?!, that she forgets to reply to. Junsu buys Jia two doubles, halfway through the second they both start howling along to a song playing on the jukebox. Suzy recognizes the tune, but doesn't know any of the lyrics.
When it's over, Jia announces she has to pee, and looks at Suzy expectantly. She grabs her purse and follows Jia to the bathroom.
"We're way too pretty for these boys, Suzy," says Jia as soon as the door swings shut after them.
"What?" says Suzy. "They're fine..."
"Way too pretty," insists Jia, as if there is no more room for argument. "We've got to get out of here."
"We can't just leave," says Suzy awkwardly.
"Why not?" says Jia.
"Where would we even go?"
"Dancing," says Jia. "I really feel like dancing."
It's Monday night and there's only one bar with a dance floor open, and it's empty. Jia doesn't care, sauntering up to the DJ and asking if he would please turn off the classic rock in favor of something a little more danceable. Suzy bites her lip and watches for a moment as Jia twirls across the lonely dance floor, amazed at how sharp she still looks after the number of drinks she's had. After a couple of moments, Jia rolls her eyes at her and pulls her out into the lights, and spins her around.
"Let's get cupcakes," says Suzy as they leave. "It's only eleven, the cupcake place is still open."
"No," says Jia fondly, nudging at her shoulder. "We're going to go jump off the bridge."
"Even though it's raining?"
"It's just sprinkling," says Jia. "Don't be a weenie."
Suzy sighs, but follows.
The bridge is eleven blocks away, tucked into an odd park in one of the classy residential neighborhoods that surrounds downtown. Suzy catches her breath, she loves places like this, secrets tucked away in a city. She turns to ask Jia how she found this place, only to find her tucking her purse and clothes behind a bush. Suzy almost chokes at the unexpected shock of seeing all that white skin.
"Are you going to go in your clothes?" Jia asks, turning around. There's no streetlight nearby, so Suzy can't quite make out the expression on her face, or the true color of her bra (just that it's dark, maybe black or brown or navy, but it feels wrong to stare any longer than necessary when Jia's made herself so clear).
Suzy shakes her head mutely, and begins to unzip her dress as Jia clamors over the bridge railing.
"I'll go first," says Jia. "So you can see. And so I can catch you, if necessary."
If necessary, Suzy's head shrieks. What does that even mean? How dangerous is this? We're high up, maybe ten feet from the water below. I've always been afraid of falling, Jia, she wants to say. I've always been afraid of beaning my head on a rock. But she keeps her mouth shut and nods as her dress pools at her feet. Most of her wants to try.
Jia drops. Suzy runs across the bridge to see her come out the other side, to see if she's fine, but it's too dark and the water's too fast for her to make out anything. "Jia?" she calls uncertainly, after a moment.
"I'm fine!" says Jia. "Your turn."
Suzy gulps, but climbs over the railing anyway. She tries to dangle herself as close to the water as possible, before she realizes that she's effectively put herself at the point of no return: she couldn't pull herself back up now if she wanted to. She takes a breath, and lets go.
She hits her knee, but comes up grinning anyway. "I did it," she says to Jia triumphantly as she wades to the edge. She holds her hand up for a high five, but Jia pulls her into a hug.
"Do you want to go again?"
"Let's rest a minute," says Suzy, and when Jia's face falls: "And then we'll go again."
They waddle off, dripping, and crouch for a minute by the bush where they've left their things. The dust of the path is very attracted to their wet skin, and even as she shivers, Suzy realizes after a moment that she wants to go back.
"Okay," she says. "Again."
"This time don't dangle so much," says Jia. "The higher you drop from the less likely you are to get hit. I'll show you."
It's true, Suzy realizes and she submerges in the water a second time. Jia's not waiting in the shallow water this time, she's sitting on the bank. Suzy pulls herself up next to her.
"Soo-ji," says Jia once she's all the way up, reaching out to brush the wet hair out of her face affectionately. "Have you ever been with a girl?"
She says in the almost same tone she always asks these questions: Suzy, have you ever tried drugs? Have you ever had sex in a public place? Have you ever vomited into a flowerbed? But there's a tremor in her voice, an uncertainty. Suzy knows her well enough to recognize the cracks in her veneer.
"Yeah," says Suzy. "I mean... 'been with' is kind of, I don't know. Impersonal sounding. But yeah."
Jia twists her lips, considering. "You'll show me, then?"
"Jia," says Suzy carefully. "I don't want..."
"I know what you want," says Jia. "It won't just be one time. I can try."
Jia's eyes bore into Suzy's face, seeking some unspoken permission. She must find it, because her arms creep around Suzy and she kisses her neck, then her throat, the motion somehow simultaneously tender and erotic. There's nothing latent about it. Suzy shivers, takes a breath.
u r sweet, says the text in the morning. A minute later: and not in a personality trait kind of way, if u know what i mean, and then, quickly, oh god sry i'm so bad at sexting just tell me when u can come over ok.