International Pagan Values Blogging Month: Trust Me.
I resolved to write a "real" post on Pagan Values for Pagan Values Blogging Month, but it got complicated. I couldn't think of a value that was exclusively Pagan. I could barely think of one that was intrinsically Pagan. What values of mine would I attribute solely (or even primarily) to my Paganism, and not to other factors in my life and upbringing? What would my values be if I were a Californian Pagan, or a Michigander Baha'i?
Anyway, one thing finally struck me: trust.
This is not to imply that Pagans are more trustworthy than other religions' adherents, or that other religions don't value trust or trustworthiness, but perhaps Paganism locates it a bit more centrally.
Many a Pagan tradition is oathbound. Rituals, spells, members - all sorts of information is considered strictly secret, and the members of the group swear an oath that they will keep it that way. Once you share that information with someone, all you have is their oath between you and a bestseller called All the Secrets I Learned in My Coven. Not only do you have to be trustworthy to receive these secrets, but if you're a leader, you have to get good at telling whether or not someone is trustworthy before revealing secrets. And you have to be capable of imparting a high level of trust in others.
Even in traditions, like my own, that are not oathbound, confidentiality is key. We do deep spiritual and emotional work in our tradition; this is not a religion that lets you sit on yer butt and coast. If I'm in a path or ritual or workshop with you, I have to be able to trust that I will not read on your Twitter feed about my terrifying emotional breakdown or some peculiar detail of my sex life that I shared in sacred space. You have to be able to trust the same in me.
And, unfortunately, we live in a time and place where people can and do lose their jobs, their apartments, and their children for being identified as Pagan. If I run into my coworker at Pagan Pride or end up working next to my neighbor at an UMPA highway clean-up, and they say, "Hey, it's great seeing you, but I'm not really out about my religion," they have to trust that I'm not going to walk past their desk come Monday and call, “Hey there, witchy buddy! How's that new job spell comin'?"
Other kinds of trust come into play, as well. Let's face it: we do some weird stuff in ritual. Do you trust me enough to say, "You know what, I'm just not comfortable with this. Is there another way we can do it?" Can I trust you enough to say it? Can we trust each other to leave our crap at home and come to ritual fully ready to step into sacred space and celebrate this season, this moment, this now? Do you trust me enough to call me on my BS without me going into High Drama Priestess mode? Do I trust you enough that you're not just saying it to be cruel? Most Pagan groups are small. Can we trust each other to show up for rituals or other events and perform the roles we chose to take on?
Do we trust our own wisdom and experience? Do we trust this Earth we hold so dear? Do we trust the process?
Paganism as we know it is still finding its way in the world. We as Pagans are doing the same. If we can keep on trusting each other and earning each other's trust, I do believe we'll make it.