[exo] thoughts: pernicious.; kai/kyungsoo; nc-17

[halcyondusk]

Title: Thoughts: Pernicious.
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo, Kai-centric
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kyungsoo falls apart inside his own head, and Jongin can only watch from the sidelines.
Warnings: Highlight (negativity towards mental illness, implied character death)
Word Count: ~10,200
A/N: Originally written for kpop_ficmix for the wonderful hotarumyst (a remix of her brilliant

Comments

[episkia]

my computer battery died at 'The last time it happens, Jongin doesn’t know.' and i think part of me died with it. and that salmon at the end is going to haunt me forever, i'm going to see kyungsoo

reflected in every single fish i eat now.

;______________;

your work is always lovely. this was ..... i'd say beautiful, but it's not. it's written beautifully, (cruelly) but it's not beautiful is it. it's harsh and cold and lifeless.

this was amazing, but now dunk yourself in a bath of happy and qt!kaisoo. i always get scared for writers who deal with darker issues because i feel like some of you remains within that piece and if you lose yourself, you could become just as empty. :(

but. yes. i love you. thank you for all your writing, thank you for existing beams.

[halcyondusk]

sobs firstly forever sorry for lateness of response exam hiatus ;___;

S O B S i think i put a lot of people off fish (and sehun) oops augh ;_____;

thank you so much for reading. this was definitely not beautiful ugh it was delving into kyungsoo's mind through the eyes of jongin and it's morbid too :( hahaha it's fine, true that sometimes you have to feel it to know, but it's a skill of being able to disassociate from the characters you're writing hehe :')

thank you so much for the comment ♥

[beefballs]

crying this is gorgeous
oh m y god asjaskf
i really wanted to punch sehun in this fic
ugh but
omg
I AM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS RN??
so used to character death in kaisoo but but but
THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING
ok ok ok
i suck at commenting but

the symbolism of the polluted fish and everything
wow
and your wording is perfect
not overly fancy but simplistic and absolutely beautiful istg
ugh kyungsoo T_T baby
i love both the implications of telepathy and this and omg

(pls write more kaisoo huhu)

[halcyondusk]

sobs ;____; i'm glad you found it an interesting read
I THINK I MADE...myself...hate sehun a little....sobs haha
♥ kaisoo is quite a depressing pairing ficwise AND I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO...ADD TO IT...
but kelley wrote such a good piece that i just had to remix it
sobs

<3 i'm glad that symbolism worked!
i didn't want to use words that were too flowery or over the top because describing the simplicity of observations--we're in jongin's head after all, not kyungsoo's
thank you so much for reading ;A; sorry for the lateness i had exams

[chunsakuma]

For me, if fic makes me cry, that's how I know it's good, and I'm sitting here sobbing. This is so, so, SO gorgeous and multi-layered and well-done.

[halcyondusk]

;AAAAA; /wipes tears thank you for reading i'm so glad you liked it ;uuuu;

[akaanee]

oh god. i. i DIED??????

gauh why always kyungsoo whyyyyyy ;;
and i love how you portray the other members, how they avoid kyungsoo, it's so realistic
like, even for all the friendship they show to the fans they're just humans and and and

[halcyondusk]

cries ;______;

BABY KYUNGSOO sobs. yes.
i've always wanted to see this story from a bit of a wider perspective so i pulled it out to incorporate all the members including exo-m huhu
sobs thank you so much for the mem and sorry for the lateness of reply ;_; exams ;_;

[sojun]

i kinda had a breakdown while reading this. like, i wanted to cry so much but i couldn't. it fucking hurts. it hurts from the beginning until the end. ;~~~~~~~~~; but anyhow, this was a brilliant piece to read. i love the plot, your characterization, your jongin, your kyungsoo, your choice of words, your style of writing and you. ;________; thank you so much for writing, it's been a long time since i was so caught up in a fic.

[halcyondusk]

cries omg ;______; i'm sorry it hurt gaaaaaaah i'm glad you thought so highly of this ;A; it was an intense process writing this lol ;uuuuu; ♥ thanks so much for reading ;A;